Author Archives: Kat


About Kat

I am a writer, blogger, copywriter, and aspiring fiction-ist who grew up in London and still lives in London. I love the city.

Here’s Why Kristen Stewart’s Coming Out Is Still So Important To Me

Last week the Kristen Stewart took a bold step in revealing in the new issue of Elle U.K. that she’s in love with a woman.

Right now I’m just really in love with my girlfriend. We’ve broken up a couple of times and gotten back together, and this time I was like, ‘Finally, I can feel again.’ “

In doing so she told the world she was not closeted, and she was not ashamed to be in a relationship with a woman.

I was like, ‘Actually, to hide this provides the implication that I’m not down with it or I’m ashamed of it, so I had to alter how I approached being in public,” Stewart said.

I know what many of you are thinking. You’re not surprised and knew Stewart and Alicia Cargile were in a relationship for quite some time now.

You’ve seen the photos of the couple holding hands. You’ve read the tabloid reports about their ups and downs.

But the big difference now is that Stewart herself has gone on record and confirmed the romance.

And by opening up about her girlfriend, she has helped many of her young fans struggling with their sexuality to see that being gay or bisexual is okay.



Yes, some of us are lucky enough to live in a time when the LGBT community is slowly being accepted, but as we all know more still needs to be done.

Coming out is still very important for us to be free and to eventually have equal protection under the law.

Harvey Milk, the first openly LGBT person to be elected to office as a city supervisor in San Francisco, understood this well when he said,

Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must tell your relatives. You must tell your friends if indeed they are your friends. You must tell the people you work with. You must tell the people in the stores you shop in. Once they realize that we are indeed their children, that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and all. And once you do, you will feel so much better”

Before the gay rights movement, it was easy to believe for many that we hardly existed.

We were only a pariah of society, labelled as perverts to be harassed by police and arrested, simply for being in a bar frequented by our own kind.

Then came a night at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village when a group of gays decided they were fed up with being harassed and corralled into patty wagons and taken to jail, just because they frequented a known gay bar.

It was time to fight back and it was time to let the world know that we did exist and we had a right to exist.

Nowadays, every time a celebrity comes out, there are those who find it offensive and they do not mind voicing their disgust in blogs and in comments.

Some just simply cannot understand why we feel the need to let everyone know we’re gay, because it is just not important anymore, to them.

I beg to differ. It is very important that gay people, especially celebrities, to let the world know they are gay or bisexual because it is those who stand up to be counted as one of us, yet another gay person, that pushes our fight for equal rights forward.

If it were not for those willing to stand up, we all would be back in the closet, living in fear, afraid to lose our jobs, our freedom, even our lives.

Perhaps the day will come when it will no longer be important that someone like Kristen Stewart to come out and let the world know she is queer.

However, as long there are people in this world that cannot live free and equal the same as heterosexuals do, then it will be of the utmost importance that every queer person who is willing and who can, to stand up and be counted.


PJ Harvey Shares New Album Teaser (Video)

Despite being aesthetically yummy, we also can’t help but love PJ Harvey’s dreamy lyrics and beautiful songs.

And there’s nothing better to listen whilst having hot, steamy bedroom time. (Not that I would know, of course.)

So its great to hear that Harvey has recorded her new album, and made it available to the public as part of a London museum exhibition.

This week she shared a 30-second teaser for the record, which is out next spring.

Watch it below.

The 10 Best Things About Being a Lesbian That No One Tells You

1. Kissing a girl is totally amazing. Its so much softer, sexier and lovelier than kissing a guy.

2. You get to snuggle with someone who’s not covered in body hair.

3. Watching The L-word with your girlfriend

4. You don’t wake up to a boner sticking into your back.

5. Women smell a lot better than men.

6. Women have boobs, which you get to touch.

7. You never ever have to experience pregnancy scares.

8. Another woman knows exactly how to touch you and at what speed.

9. When you move in with your girlfriend, your wardrobe literally doubles.

10. The sex is better, which has actually been proven by science.

BONUS Thing. You get to break all societies patriarchal rules!

12 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Exactly Right For You

She knows about your weird things, and she’s into them.

1. Being around her is always fun, even when the situation isn’t.

Being with her turns all things into great things.

2. She knows about your weirdo shit and she’s into it.

She knows you watch The L Word over and over again while wearing a bathrobe and eating rice cakes, and she thinks it’s cute for some reason.

3. She’s consistently great to you.

If she makes you the most romantic dinner on Monday night, and doesn’t suddenly become nasty to you the following night just because you forgot to pick up a bottle of wine to bring to her friends’ place.

4. You know (and like) all her friends.

You’re friends with her friends and even if you’ve never met some of them, she talks about you all the time, so they feel like they know you.

5. She challenges you to be even more amazing.

You’re already the coolest and she knows that because that’s why you’re together, but she thinks you’re capable of even more than you think you’re capable of (and you know you’re capable of a lot, so that’s saying something.)

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6. She makes you feel like the most gorgeous human in the world.

Even on days when you definitely do not feel that way, she still makes you feel like Ellen Page would feel ugly standing next to you. How does she do that?! Oh, by genuinely believing you’re the most gorgeous human in the world? That’s cool.

7. She never picks up coffee without asking if you want her to grab you something too.

Same goes for “I’m at the supermarket” and “I’m at a store that sells kittens.”

8. She emails your mom any cute cat videos she finds because she knows she loves them.

Not just so she can get in good with you but because she genuinely thinks it would make her day. This gesture is actually cuter than any cat videos she could find.

9. She cares about your physical needs.

Even if you’re not sleeping together, she finds out you like neck kisses so she goes out of her way to deliver more neck kisses. Awesome.

10. She lets you take time for yourself.

You need time to work on your own projects and be with your friends or watch movies alone for hours? She gets that. She takes her time, you take yours, and then you get together and tell each other all about it (or not.)

11. She supports your dreams 100%.

Sometimes even more than you do because she knows you’re capable of doing anything you want to do. Whether it’s becoming the next T-Swift or running a 10K in the dead of winter, she’s into it, and she’ll make you snacks while you train.

12. She’s always crazy excited to see you.

And vice versa. Even if you just saw her yesterday.

My Girlfriend Won’t Stop Talking About Her Ex-Girlfriend

I’m one of those people who sees nothing wrong in dredging up the name of ex’s for one simple and obvious reason: THEY’RE EX’S!

There’s a reason I’m not with them and whether they dumped me or I dumped them, it amounts to the same thing: the case is closed.

And if I’m in a committed relationship and I want my girlfriend to really understand me, she needs to hear my crazy stories.

This is my history. This is my rocky path. This is my life.

The mere concept that I shouldn’t mention how crazy this ex was, or how devotedly misguided I was to another ex, is silly.

But again, I’m not pining for them, putting them up on a pedestal, or talking to them four times a day.

I’m sharing a very important part of my past, like talking about the way I was in high school, or my deceased father.

These are the facts; I hope you choose to accept them.

To my girlfriend’s credit, this chatter doesn’t faze her in the least, because she knows it has nothing to do with her.

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And I know, when she gets emotional or vulnerable when sharing the pain of her failed 12-year relationship, that it has nothing to do with ME.

She doesn’t miss her ex. She misses the innocence, happiness and security that she felt when she was in that relationship.

As a result, I do everything I can to make her feel special, including not getting jealous if she talks about the good times she had before that relationship fell apart.

This is all about removing your ego from the equation and looking at the facts in front of you.

So, when your current partner talks about her last love, consider what she is really saying.

Is she talking about her because she wants her back? Or is she saying that she really cared about her, but she was fatally flawed? Because those are two very different things.

While it may not feel good to know that your lady has latent feelings for someone else, as long as you don’t think she’s going to act on them, you should probably get over it.

12 Struggles Of Your Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend Than A Lover

There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable in your relationship, but sometimes, you can get a little too comfortable.


If your girlfriend is not too keen on the romantic gestures, but still loves you, chances are, she might fall into a rut of treating you like her best friend.

And while that’s not a bad thing, it’s nice to know that you’re appreciated as someone she’s attracted to with a vagina as well.

1. She greets you with “Yo”.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 01

2. Both of you wear the same PJs when you watch movies.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 03

3. She burps in your face and thinks it’s acceptable.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 06

4. She walks in on you pooping and thinks its cool to continue talking mid plop.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 07

5. When you flirtatiously ask what she wants you to wear tonight and she throws you a pair shorts and a stained white tee.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 02

6. You spend less alone time with her, and more time with her friends.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 08

7. Sweatpants are her uniform, no matter what occasion.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 04

8. Her idea of a night in is you watching her watching TV.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 05

9. You guys always go dutch. Always.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 09

10. You have regular eating competitions, which are not the sexiest, especially the pizza food babies that result.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 12

11. She doesn’t get jealous of other women.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 10

12. Or see them as potential threat, which actually think you’re a hot women.

Girlfriend Treating More Like A Friend 11


Do We Actually Need ‘The L Word’ Reboot?

Can you believe it’s been ten long years since The L Word premiered, and only six years since it finished?

l word 02

Yet, since then television has yet to replace it with another show centred solely around a large group of lesbian or bisexual characters.

In the last 5 years, we have seen a slight increase in lesbian and bisexual characters in broadcast, cable, and streaming network programming.

And we now have some great queer characters scattered on some great shows.

There are the two loving lesbian parents in The Fosters, a clone or two in Orphan Black, one of the Pretty Little Liars, the couple formerly known as Calzona on Grey’s Anatomy, the bisexual succubus and her human doctor on Lost Girl, the not-actually-faking-it lesbian of Faking It, and about a third of the cellblock on Orange is the New Black.

So do we really need an L Word reboot at this time?


One could argue that our representation is better served with inclusion in more mainstream shows. Lesbian and bisexual characters play prominent roles in everything from freshman breakout Jane the Virgin to the complicated are-they, aren’t they Root/Shaw dance on Person of Interest and the transitioning nuclear families of Transparent.

And then there are the regular and recurring lesbian or bisexual female roles on Empire, The Walking Dead, Gotham, The 100, Marry Me, Arrow, Chasing Life, Heart of Dixie, Survivor’s Remorse, Black Sails, The Returned, Younger, and more I’m missing that you’ll no doubt tell me about in comments.

Plus, we haven’t even mentioned the recently and soon-to-be dearly departed lesbian and bisexual characters from shows like The Good Wife, Glee, Chicago Fire, and even the latter-day Two and a Half Men.


Yet, when it comes to a show primarily about queer women, we continue to falter.

The latest edition was the Liz Feldman and Ellen DeGeneres produced sitcom One Big Happy. A series with the first lesbian-led network comedy since Ellen back in 1998.

But the show did not do well, and was cancelled after one season.

The hype was not there, and the excited wave of lesbian and bisexual women actually watching One Big didn’t emerge.

Compare that to The L Word watching parties you had with friends or thrown by your friendly neighbourhood lesbian bars back in the day.

The urgency to see ourselves reflected on the TV screen isn’t as great because we’re already there – the diversity of lesbian and bisexual female characters has increased.

One of the biggest critiques about The L Word (besides everything and anything about Jenny Schecter) was its limited portrayal of queer women.

l word 03

They were mostly femme, largely white, overwhelmingly upwardly mobile, and so on and so forth.

The difficulty any show about an underrepresented minority faces, particularly trailblazing shows, is the desire to be all things for all people.

New hits like Black-ish and Fresh Off the Boat have successfully avoided that trap while still finding commercial and critical success.

Another L Word would need to straddle that world of specificity and commonalities. Still, perhaps the burden of being The Lesbian Show would be lessened because of the increased representation elsewhere.

11 Reason Why Your Unconventional Girlfriend Is A Keeper

Are you dating someone a little eccentric? Would you describe her as weird, but in a good way weird?

Great. Keep her, because you don’t even know how lucky you are.

If you’ve found someone brave enough to be her self in this world of standardised proportions and fixed ideals, adore her.

If you’ve found someone strong enough to hold on to her childlike sense of wonder, to be completely and utterly free and uninhibited, cherish her.

If you’ve found someone liberated enough to be a complete and utter weirdo, never let her go.

Because relationships with unconventional women are always better than with anyone who’s trying to be “normal.”

1. She’ll never let the fight be the same one.

She’ll have feelings and opinions that will clash with yours like any significant other. With them, however, it’s never about the same sh*t.

2. She’ll never expect the relationship to be a certain way.

She doesn’t have expectations of you or the relationship. She’ll let the relationship coast the same way she coasts through life – hoping for the best and going with the flow. She doesn’t go into things with preconceived notions because for them, a relationship is as random and unknown as life.

3. She’ll introduce you to the freak inside you.

You think you know yourself, and then met her, and she challenges every part of your being. She makes you rethink your life, your passions and what the hell you’ve been doing this whole time.

4. She’ll never be replaced.

You know you can’t let her go because the next woman will never live up to her. No one will ever show you as much, teach you as much and challenge you as much. Everyone will just make you wish you were with her again.

5. She’ll never question when you need to take time for your own adventure.

Not only do she support your personal endeavors, she push them. She doesn’t just want to be there for you; she wants to show you the way.

6. She’ll make you forget about the outside world.

Until you met her, you never experienced what it’s like to live in your own world, to never have to enter society again. She brings the only world worth caring about into yours.

7. She’ll catalyze every single creative interest you have.

Those tiny thoughts you never gave any light to, are suddenly magnified, and urged to be chased, and expanded. Those tiny dreams you never let yourself think about are all she wants to talk about.

8. She’ll never make you feel weird about your own weird self.

She wants you to be unconventional. She longs for you to open up that side you refuse to show the world. She’s ready to explore your inner workings and most obscure neuroses. She’ll thrive on your quirks and your idiosyncrasies.

9. She’s always worth the drama.

Yes, she’s not always the easiest person to deal with, but she’s always worth it. She’s going to bring the drama and intensity, but that’s what’s going to make your life worthwhile again. Those days when you were just going to work, the gym and going to bed will seem like a fate worse than death after finding someone who won’t let you be bored ever again.

10. She’ll teach you to laugh everything off.

She’ll show you what it’s like to not take anything seriously, including yourself. Life is too short and too weird to judge anything, and if you can’t get serious about it, you may as well laugh about it.

11. She’s going to be the best sex you’ve ever had.

She’s unconventional, and therefore the sex follows suit. She’s not nervous or scared; she’s down to try anything. She’s not scared to show their true, naked selves.

Photographer Chronicles the Struggles of LGBT People Around the World

We are told the world is a safer and more welcoming place for those of us in the LGBTQ community, than it was ten years ago.

But there is still a growing number of national and regional governments have passed laws legalising gay marriage and unions between people of the same sex.

Other countries have tightened legislation that prohibits anti-gay discrimination and hate speech targeted at people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT).

Kenneth Roth, executive director of Human Rights Watch wrote earlier this year.

There’s been enormous progress globally and locally. It’s important to note that the fight for LGBT rights is not a Western phenomenon; many of the governments at the forefront of the defence of LGBT rights are from the developing world.”

But while LGBT rights may be generally improving around the world, many more people live in countries where homosexual acts or identifying as gay can lead to state-ordered physical punishment.

Human rights groups say that in some of these countries — including Russia, Nigeria and Uganda — governments have targeted LGBT people as a way to redirect peoples’ anger from the governments to a vulnerable minority. All three countries have introduced anti-gay legislation in the past three years and in all three countries human rights groups have reported simultaneous increases in attacks on LGBT people.

Photographer Robin Hammond, who is from New Zealand, first started documenting these issues when he was on assignment in Lagos, Nigeria, and read about five people who had been arrested for being gay. He then decided to expand his work to seven countries, photographing LGBT people of 15 different nationalities.

Hammond says he wants to improve peoples’ lives rather than simply chronicling their suffering and is today launching a non-governmental organization named Witness Change, which aims to kickstart social media campaigns and put on traveling exhibitions to help raise funds for grassroots organizations that are dealing with the highlighted human rights issues, including LGBT rights.

He described the process he has developed for taking his portraits — and for asking his subjects to write down their personal stories:

I’m Christian But I’m Also a Very Out Lesbian (Video)

Crystal Cheatham was told by her church that she had the voice, an incredible gift of playing the guitar, the ability to lead a band, to write music, and to mentor children. But all that meant nothing to them because she’s a “practicing homosexual.”

Crystal Cheatham 01

Today, I am more than comfortable with my orientation and my faith.

Watch her touching story below


11 Things I’ve Learnt In My First Year Of Marriage

My wonderful, beautiful wife and I have just celebrated our first anniversary. In total we’ve been together almost five years together, but despite this we still haven’t really figured it out.

This past year has been the most challenging and rewarding of my life. So, here are the things I’ve learned over the last 365 days:

1. Marriage isn’t always easy; it takes work.

Marriage, a house, two cats, and thinking about having a baby. It’s rasied my anxiety levels to a whole new high. We have a serious responsibility and it’s tough.

2. I had no idea how selfish I was.

I’m sure I’m not alone here, but it was much easier for my wife to think of us as a team rather than individuals. It’s not Kate and Sammy anymore. It’s “us” and “we.”

3. However, you should still be a little selfish (sometimes).

That being said, you still need to be a little selfish and do things that make you happy.

4. People communicate differently.

My wife and I are working hard to learn how to communicate with each other. She likes to talk things out, and I avoid all confrontation.

5. You don’t have to agree on everything.

My wife and I have slightly different views on style and fashion, money – how many kids we want. And that’s okay, as long as we respect each other’s views.

6. Don’t stretch yourselves too thin.

Take some time to just chill. Take a nap, binge-watch “Orange Is The New Black,” or just do nothing.

7. Sometimes, you just need to listen.

As humans, we have the urge to solve problems and really just to talk. In marriage, or in any relationship, you should just learn to listen.

8. Actions speak louder than words.

Don’t tell her you are going to do it. Do it.

9. To trust and be trusted are amazing feelings.

Be present, and get excited about every moment you get to spend together

10. Never settle – Make your life together everything you want it to be.

11. Say “I love you.”



12 Things Only Butches With Big Boobs Can Understand

I love women with big boobs. But when your a butch woman, its not as fun as we would like to think.

Here are some common issues facing the busty who walk among us.

1. Finding a shirt that fits is impossible.


2. Your boobs get stuck in your armpit when you lay down.


3. Clutching your chest as you pick up speed is a normal thing.


4. Wearing just one sports bra is a joke.


5. People (even those who don’t know you well!) say things to you (even in casual conversation!) like, “Have you ever thought about getting a breast reduction?”


6. You look way-to feminine in a bathing suits.


7. Cross body bag straps are a no.


8. You have to wear a bra.


9. And, Finding a bra that actually fits is practically its own Olympic event.


10. By now, you’re used to all the mean jokes about your bust size.


11. People assume that they’re much less sensitive to jiggling than they actually are.


12. You get to make all the boob jokes you want.


6 Scientific Reasons Why My Girlfriend Sleeping Naked is Really a Good Thing

For as long as my girlfriend can remember, she’s forgone traditional pyjamas for nakedness. I on the other hand am a complete prude.

Unlike me, she never found this weird or out of the ordinary. She says, it’s comfortable, easy and that she spends less money on stupid clothing. So why should she put on pyjamas when she can bask in the glory of nakedness?

Well according to science there are seven perfectly logical, totally scientific reasons why you should sleep naked, and its actually a good thing:

1. She gets to air out her lady parts

Jennifer Landa, MD, author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women says sleeping naked is healthy for your downstairs lady bits.

Because your vagina has a climate similar to a tropical rainforest, it can be a breeding ground for bacteria and yeast.

By ditching underwear and pyjamas, you allow your vagina the much needed aeration it requires to stay dry and healthy. And, as we all know, a healthy vagina is a happy one.

2. She feels sexier

Sleeping naked is sexy (epically for me lying next to her). When she’s naked it makes it so much easier to have morning sex.

And my girlfriend says, waking up without pyjamas puts her in a sexy state of mind – win-win situation – yes!

It also means she’s comfortable enough with herself to let it all hang out (figuratively speaking… I think). A more confidant you are the more beautiful you feel.

3. She gets way better sleep

According to The American Academy of Sleep Medicine, your body temperature naturally declines as a part of your Circadian Rhythm as you sleep deeply.

Wearing pyjamas could disrupt this natural drop in temperature and, as a result, disrupt your body’s sleep cycle.

Disruption in the natural decline of body temperature is also directly linked to insomnia. If you can’t cool down, you’re going to sleep like sh*t.

4. It’s a proven fat reduction technic

According to the Huffington Post, your body cools down at night, increasing your growth hormones while simultaneously decreasing your levels of cortisol, which will result in “healthy sleep patterns.”

The perfect night’s sleep would be comprised of two cycles: the first has your body recuperating with lower cortisol levels and the second sees your body working to increase these levels in preparation for the next day so that you might have energy when you wake up.

If your sleep is interrupted (e.g. because of your uncomfortable pyjamas), your body will naturally produce more cortisol than usual; the excess, in turn, is known to catalyse your appetite.

5. There is a lot more sex

If you sleep naked, you’re going to have more sex. It’s just logical. According to Dr. Landa:

Sleeping naked encourages sex and sexier relationships are happier relationships.

My girlfriend couldn’t agree more! I mean, think about it, and if you’re naked already, don’t you think your chances of getting in a hump session would drastically improve?
And, naturally, with more sex, you and your partner’s intimacy will only increase — especially when the hormone Oxytocin is introduced into the situation.

Oxytocin, as the Huffington Post notes, reduces stress levels, lowers your risk of depression and leads to a load of other health benefits that might seem completely unrelated to you and your partner naked spooning. Who knew being naked could “reduce intestinal inflammation”?

6. It’s just easier

Putting on panamas inherently means more work: You have to take off your clothes, pick out your jammies, and then put them on.

That might seem like a lazy thing to say, but sometimes the closet (or the kitchen, or the bathroom) is just too far away.

After a 9-to-5 workday, she’s not looking to do anything to make me wait for sleep.

Growing Pains: 25 Problems Only Butch Women Will Understand

25 Problems Only Butch Women Will Understand

1. When people assume because you’re look butch, you’re butch in every way – “Just because I’m wearing a flannel doesn’t mean I own a drill.”


2. When you enter an all female changing room, you’re instantly aware of your lesbian appearance; which causes you not to make eye contact with anyone – awkward.

… hmmmm, or maybe not!


3. When you go into a women’s bathroom, and hear “Excuse me, sir, you’re in the wrong room”.


4. When you want to wear a suit, but are not able to find one that fits.


5. When the shop assistant calls you sir.


6. When your boobs refuse to fit into any shirt.


7. When you try on men’s jeans, and have to deal with the fact you have hips.


8. When you have to buy a new bra.


9. When kids stare and ask you questions like “Are you a girl or a boy?”


10. When old people stare, and then tut disapprovingly. You know their trying figure out if you’re a man or a woman.


11. When you go to a new hairdresser and have to explain how you want your haircut short “like a boys”. Then coming away with haircut that’s more femme than you wanted.


12. When people expect you to always carry the heavy bags.


13. When people expect you to fix things, even tough you have no technical abilities.


14. When your girlfriend teases you for not being able to open jars.


15. When you start to cry and get told “But you’re butch. NO FEELINGS ALLOWED.”


16. When relatives buy you femme clothes, and ask you to at least try them on.


17. When people ask you to wear something a little less “manly”, just to make it easier for others


18. And when you do, people telling you look “good as a girl.”


19. When people expect you to date only femme women.


20. When straight guys assume you want to ogle women with them.


21. When you like something that’s considered “girly” and people are really confused.


22. When gay guys hit on you.


23. When straight women hit on you.


24. When straight guys hit on you.


25. When people assume you’re “the man in the relationship”


The 20 Mistakes We all Make in Life

Do you have what it takes to become a monumental success? Or will you live out a life of mediocrity? The choice is up to you.

This is the time for you to hustle, scrap and fight for the life that you want for yourself. You manifest your own destiny during these crucial years.

So try to steer clear of these mistakes.

1. Making friends instead of earning trust

Mistakes in Life 01

2. Working for money, not for building your dreams

Mistakes in Life 03

3. Sticking with jobs that didn’t teach you anything

Mistakes in Life 02

4. Thinking it the right time to fall in love – when it happens it happens

Mistakes in Life 04

5. Following the crowd instead of forging against it

Mistakes in Life 05

6. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life

Mistakes in Life 06

7. Being oblivious to someone else feelings

Mistakes in Life 09

8. Trying to act like grown-up rather than learning how to become one

Mistakes in Life 07

9. Forgetting that family matters

Mistakes in Life 10

10. Not caring because you only live once — that’s for fools

Mistakes in Life 11

11. Making all your wants, needs

Mistakes in Life 18

12. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life

Mistakes in Life 08

13. Getting too comfortable

Mistakes in Life 19

14. Failing to energise those around you

Mistakes in Life 15

15. Thinking you need to stop learning and growing

Mistakes in Life 22

16. Thinking that people will ever pay you back

Mistakes in Life 17

17. Investing in relationships with the wrong values

Mistakes in Life 14

18. Forgetting to save and spending every dollar you have

Mistakes in Life 21

19. Dating unstable people

Mistakes in Life 16

20. Forgetting that karma is a huge b*tch

Mistakes in Life 20

17 Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. It a good thing then that my girlfriend and I agree on absolutely nothing. Combine utter, polar disagreement on everything, ever, with the fact that I am a text-book ‘Only Child’, and she the second-youngest of five – and we’re warming up.

So feel my pain, when you read about some of the things we’ve argued about.

1. Preparing a fruit salad.

That’s correct. To be precise the way one should cut a Kiwi Fruit in half (along its length or across the middle).


2. Leaving the bathroom door open.

Three times a day that one, minimum.


3. The best way to wash up.


4. Those little toothpaste speckles you make when you brush your teeth in front of the mirror.


5. The way I eat food.

I eat a chocolate bars without the need to snap them into individual pieces. My GF accused me of doing this, ‘deliberately to annoy her’.


6. The amount of time I spend on the computer. (OK, fair enough)


7. Which type of hover to buy

Price wasn’t an issue, it was the principle.


8. Where to sit in the cinema

On those occasions when we a) manage to agree to go to the cinema together and, b) go to see the same film once we’re there. (No, really).


9. TV Viewing.

She enters the room. I’m watching television. She announces ‘we’ should watch something together, which means she doesn’t want to watch what I’m watching.


10. She wants to paint our bedroom blue. I have no words for that.


11. Watching films on the TV.

What she likes, is to sit by me while I narrate the entire film to her. ‘Who’s she?’, ‘Why did he get shot?’, ‘I thought that one was on their side?’, ‘Is that a bomb’



12. Or she adds her own commentary to a film.

With such interjections as, ‘Hey look! They’re the cushions we’ve got’, ‘Isn’t she the one who does that yoghurt advert?’ and, ‘Oh, I’ve seen this – he gets killed at the end.’


13. She thinks I’m shallow

My GF thinks I’m shallow because… I spend over an hour doing my hair in front of a mirror. During this argument, usually in the bathroom – our second most popular location for arguments – She’ll say ‘None of the other women I’ve been with,’ (my, but it’s all I can do to stop myself hugging her when she begins sentences like that).


14. She makes me carry her stuff

She refuses to carry a bag, yet needs to bring out multiple items, which either get slipped into my pockets or bag.


15. I’m not arguing, then why are you yelling debate


16. Me commenting on her outfit choice.


17. The TV Remote.


There are four causes for argument…

1) Ownership of the TV Remote: this is signified by it’s being on the arm of the chair/sofa closest to you – it is more important than life itself.

2) On those blood-freezing occasions when you look up from your seat to discover that the TV Remote is still lying on top of the TV, then one of you must retrieve it; who shall it be? And how will this affect (1)?

3) Disappearance of the TV Remote. Precisely who had it last will be hotly disputed, witnesses may be called. Things can turn very nasty indeed when the person who isn’t looking for it is revealed to be unknowingly sitting on it.

4) The TV Remote is a natural nomad and sometimes, may the Lord protect us, it goes missing for whole days. During these dark times, someone must actually, in an entirely literal sense, get up to change the channel; International Law decrees that this, “will not be the person who did it last” – but can this be ascertained? Without the police becoming involved?


10 Inspirational Quotes From Pioneering Women

Throughout history, women activists have been a source of inspiration and have made it possible for others to succeed in the work they do. We’ve collected together 14 quotes from pioneering women. May their words resonate through time and continue to inspire.

1. Carrie Chapman Catt – United States, 1859-1947


Roll up your sleeves, set your mind to making history, and wage such a fight for liberty that the whole world will respect our sex.”

As president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association, Carrie Chapman Catt helped revitalise the suffrage movement and ratify the 19th Amendment in 1919, which guarantees all women the right to vote. Not really that long ago, ladies!

Mother Teresa – Republic of Macedonia, 1910-1997


Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

Maybe one of the most famous women on this list, Mother Teresa established the Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation, in 1950. These sisters ran hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis at a time when such people were treated as outcasts by most of society.

Malala Yousafzai – Pakistan, 1997- present


One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.”

A strong advocate for girls’ right to education, Malala was shot in the head by Taliban in 2012 after refusing to give up on her campaign. She survived and came back strong, starting the Malala Fund to help girls around the world reach their true potential.

Rosa Parks – United States, 1913-2005


Each person must live their life as a model for others.”

Rosa Parks is known as the “first lady of civil rights.” Her arrest for refusing to give up her bus seat to a white passenger led to the game-changing Montgomery Bus Boycotts, an important moment for the U.S. civil rights movement

Eunice Shriver – United States, 1921-2009


You are the stars and the world is watching you. By your presence, you send a message to every village, every city, every nation. A message of hope. A message of victory.”

Shriver founded the Special Olympics in 1968 in honour of her sister, Rosemary, who had an intellectual disability. She firmly believed that if people with intellectual disabilities were given the same opportunities as everyone else, they could achieve far more than anyone thought possible.

Arundhati Roy – India, 1930 – present


Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”

This Booker prize-winning author and political activist wrote The God of Small Things, which was eventually translated into 40 languages. But instead of writing more novels, Roy has committed to shining a spotlight on the dark side of her homeland, India, and focusing on its millions of poor, dispossessed and abused citizens, as well as environmental issues.

Shami Chakrabarti – United Kingdom, 1969 – present


Rebels don’t produce change, because they are fanning their own anger. You have to learn to save your outrage and focus.”

As Director of Liberty, a UK advocacy group which campaigns to protect civil liberties and promote human rights, Chakrabarti is recognised as a tireless defender of freedom and equality. Liberty create change by challenging inequities through the courts, helping to set a legal precedent. On 27 July 2012, she was one of eight Olympic Flag carriers at the London 2012 Summer Olympics opening ceremony, and is frequently cited as one of the most influential women in Britai

Kishida Toshiko – Japan, 1863-1901


If it is true that men are better than women because they are stronger, why aren’t our sumo wrestlers in the government?”

Kishida Toshiko was a writer, activist, and one of the first women in Japan to speak publicly about women’s rights. She began lecturing when she was just 20 years old! She was well known for her speech “Daughters Confined in Boxes” that criticised a family system that confined women at home.

Aung San Suu Kyi – Burma, 1945 – present


You should never let your fears prevent you from doing what you know is right.”

Aung San Suu Kyi began speaking out in favour of the protests and rallies against the dictator U Ne Win and his policies, focusing her speeches on democracy and human rights. In retaliation U Ne Win’s military junta put Aung San Suu Kyi under house arrest with no communication with the outside world for almost 15 years. That certainly didn’t silence her.

Annie J Easley – United States, 1933 – 2011


You’re never too old, and if you want to, as my mother said, you can do anything you want to, but you have to work at it.”

After graduating from high school, Ms. Annie J. Easley began her career in 1955 as a “human computer” for NASA’s predecessor, the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics (NACA). At a time when machine calculation was limited to key-punched cards manually fed into enormous machines capable only of multiplication, addition, subtraction, and division, Ms. Easley was part of a team responsible for calculating (by hand, mind you) the complex mathematical functions needed by scientists (like logarithms, exponentials, and square roots).

Lesbian Stereotypes That Are Kind of True-ish (Video)

Kind of true-ish, well for some of them are. As queer women, we tend to use stereotypes to figure out how to fit in with our little queer nation. And some of us actually become the stereotypes them selves.


Some stereotypes we initially us to learn how to fit in, but then we move past that and evolve into being our authentic and individual lesbian selves.

17 Things Studs Should Never Be Ashamed Of

1. Not liking sports.


2. Not having the perfect physique.


3. Not wanting to have sex.


*although how could you resist this??!!!

4. Or wanting to have lots of sex.


5. Speaking your mind.


6. Being a feminist.


7. Falling in love.


8. Being emotional.


9. Treating your self every once in a while.


10. The amount of people you have or have not slept with.

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11. Having confidence and feeling desired.


12. Letting a fem take the lead.


13. Accepting a cuddle.


14. Watching a television show like the Real Housewives of Atlanta.


15. Showing affection to others


16. Admitting you’re wrong.


17. And lastly, don’t be afraid to embrace your feminine side.


‘Jagged Little Pill’ Turns 20

This month marks the twentieth anniversary of one of the most pivotal albums of the ’90s.

The ’90s were an era that launched grunge. The rules of rock and roll had changed, and suddenly music was more torridly soul bearing than ever.

If Kurt Cobain could wallow in sardonic boredom and blistering self-loathing, and Alice in Chains could simmer with harrowing and agonised epics, then why couldn’t Alanis Morissette revel in caustic retribution?

Anger and bitterness was part of the fabric of the decade, but Morissette’s ability to inject this turmoil into superbly produced and commercial songs of mass appeal proved an explosive combination that nobody else was able to match.

Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill debuted on June 13, and defined the genre we know today as alternative rock.

It was a piercingly emotional powerhouse that continues to resonate with millions of listeners worldwide.

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Her pop album sold over 30 million copies, becoming the decade’s highest selling in America, and earned Morissette five Grammy Awards.

Jagged Little Pill is the culmination of a journey for Morissette that began when she entered show business in elementary school on the children’s show You Can’t Do This on Television.

As a teenager, she released two dance-pop albums for MCA Records in her native Canada — 1991’s Alanis and 1992’s This is the Time. Her debut was moderately successful, but the follow-up tanked and she was dropped from her label. Neither album was ever released outside of Canada, and Morissette has largely disowned them.

Morissette’s breakthrough came when she met up with Glen Ballard. He was able to help mould the young artist’s over-boiling emotions into commercial pop-rock that’s catchy enough to garner a wide audience but still intense and impactful.

Jagged Little Pill didn’t exactly fly off the shelves from day one. Several weeks after its release, the first single, You Oughta Know, hit airwaves. It first gained traction at alternative radio.

However, once MTV picked up the video, the song was suddenly everywhere.

Twenty years later, Jagged Little Pill still holds up as a landmark.

It’s the potently emotional travails of a young woman exploring the pain of broken relationships, and the wonder and promise of her burgeoning adulthood.

The album has aged well — it still sounds crisp and contemporary.

Back Behind Bars – Orange Is The New Black and the Ultimate Season 3 Sneak Peek (Videos)

As the third season arrives, it’s worth reflecting upon how far Orange Is The New Black has come.

The show is based on a best-selling memoir by Piper Kerman of the same name, and many of the broad plot details remain the same. We first meet Piper (Taylor Schilling), when she is in her early thirties. She is a white, upper middle-class, liberal arts graduate who runs her own successful business selling luxury toiletries, and has just got engaged to her boyfriend.

But there is a cloud on the horizon. A drug-trafficking offence from ten years ago has finally caught up with her, and she has been served a custodial sentence.


Quickly, a wonderfully rich and original world of character at Lichfield Penitentiary comes to the fore. There is a host of forceful, dynamic and complex women; damaged, devious, morally ambiguous, neither clear victims or villains. A large proportion of them, black, Latina, gay, are characterisations heretofore largely under-represented on mainstream television.

The show has wider social resonances too. It’s depictions of the endemic corruption inside the institution, and the many dehumanising privations, which compromise the women’s safety and security.

And the characters complex back-stories speak volumes too. Each character study is fleshed out with details about the particular familial, economic, and emotional conditions which have ultimately led to incarceration – and so we see lives unfolding and buckling under a litany of bad starts, desperate measures and questionable choices.


‘Handsome Revolution Project’ Explores The Spectrum Of Butch Masculinity (Photos)

In a project titled ‘Handsome Revolution Project‘, photographer Miki Vargas explores the idea of masculinity in a stunning photo series, which looks at the lives of masculine-of-centre and gender-nonconforming individuals.

The project initially began in 2012, based Vargas on a desire to see more nuanced, complicated representations of masculinity that she identified with. But the project grew into a body of work that documents the current spectrum of masculine experiences.

Vargas told The Huffington Post.

I hope that these portraits will start or continue the much-needed conversations about acceptance, respect, love, community, unity, feeling of belonging, self love, self respect, self celebration and an overall respect of people as valuable lives in this world. I would love these images to engage the viewer, to seduce them, to intrigue them, to confuse them, to make them smile, to make them reflect, but most importantly to help them recognise that the beauty in our differences is so infinite that it cannot be categorised.”

The “Handsome Revolution Project” also includes first-person narratives from each individual featured in the series, where the subject discusses what masculinity means to them.

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What to do When You’re Bored with Sex?

When it comes to long term relationships it’s easy to turn on the auto pilot switch and neglect each other.

You have your life with your friends and family and she has her life. You are living in the same house leading parallel lives with very little interaction.

Both of you have the need for intimacy and connection, and neither knows how to bridge the gap to find the spark you once had.  So what do you do?

Also read: 5 Ways to Electrify Your Sex Life

Cat vs Girlfriend

My girlfriend doesn’t get on with my cat, at all – crazy right?

She says she has never really been a cat person, so I try not to take it personally. I’ve had my cat for 5 years (since the day she was born) – she means the world to me, but now she’s taken a dislike to my girlfriend. Which leaves me stuck in a really awkward position.

But what is so crazy, they are actually more a like than both would like to admit.

1. Both find it acceptable to eat my food.


2. Neither can decide whether or not they want to go out for the evening.

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3. It is acceptable for them to sleep all day, but neither will let me sleep if they’re awake.

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4. Both demand attention whenever I want privacy.


5. I can never tell what either of them are thinking, but I assume I have displeased them in some way.


6. They both try to fit into things they clearly can’t fit into.


7. They’re both happy to disturb me when I working from home.


8. They’re able to nap wherever they find comfort.


9. They’re both too proud to ask for help.


10. Yelling at the neighbourhood hooligans to keep it down during quiet time.


11. Get spooked by someone sneaking up on them when they thought the house was empty.


12. Fall asleep on me, when I need to go to the bathroom.


13. They’re both completely spoilt by me.


14. They look adorable in glasses.


What Does it Mean to be Gender Fluid?

For many people, the terms ‘gender’ is interchangeably. Both Miley Cyrus and Ruby Rose have spoken publicly how they about identifying as gender fluid. But what exactly is it and is it on the rise? If you’re not familiar with the term, gender fluidity refers to somebody viewing themselves as both male and female.

Some gender fluid people will alter their clothing depending on whether they feel more masculine or feminine while for others it’s a state of mind that they don’t outwardly express.

While you might have put Miley’s transition from girlie Hannah Montana to her current androgynous style down to fashion preference, but the child star has announced she doesn’t want to be boxed into one gender identity.

She recently told Out.

I didn’t want to be a boy … I kind of wanted to be nothing. I don’t relate to what people would say defines a girl or a boy, and I think that’s what I had to understand: Being a girl isn’t what I hate, it’s the box that I get put into.”


Also read: Miley Cyrus: “I’m Not Hiding My Sexuality”

Meanwhile, Ruby Rose, soon to be star of Orange Is The New Black, shared a rare insight into being gender fluid in her short film Break Free, where she transitioned from an ultra feminine version of herself with long blonde hair to a masculine version in a suit.

The only reason it was a surprise was because gender fluidity doesn’t get talked about enough. Once the film went viral, the floodgate opened; to me, that said that this was something much bigger than I thought it was.”


Gender is all around us. It is actually taught to us from the moment we are born. Gender expectations and messages bombard us constantly. Upbringing, culture, peers, schools, community, media, and religion are some of the many influences that shape our understanding of this core aspect of self. How you learned and interacted with gender as a young child directly influences how you view the world today.

However, the diversity of gender is a normal part of the human experience, across cultures and throughout history.

Non-binary gender diversity exists all over the world, documented by countless historians and anthropologists. Examples of individuals living comfortably outside of typical male/female expectations and/or identities are found in every region of the globe.

The calabai, and calalai of Indonesia, two-spirit Native Americans, and the hijra of India all represent more complex understandings of gender than allowed for by a simplistic binary model.

Further, what might be considered gender-expansive in one period of history may become gender normative in another.

One need only examine trends related to men wearing earrings or women sporting tattoos to quickly see the malleability of social expectations about gender. Even the seemingly intractable “pink is for girls, blue is for boys” notions are relatively new. While there is some debate about the reasons why they reversed, what is well documented is that not until the mid-twentieth century were notions of pink for girls or blue for boys so firmly ensconced.

So, you can make the case that “pink is the new blue!”

Perhaps the most fundamental aspect of a person’s identity, gender deeply influences every part of their life.

In a society where this crucial aspect of self has been so narrowly defined and rigidly enforced, individuals who exists outside its norms face innumerable challenges.

Even those who vary only slightly from the norm can become targets of disapproval. Yet this does not have to be the case forever. Through a thoughtful consideration of the uniqueness and validity of every person’s experiences of self, we can develop greater acceptance for all.

Not only will this create greater inclusion for individuals who challenge the norms of gender, it will actually create space for all individuals to more fully explore and celebrate who they are.


15 Thoughts You Have When She is Taking to Long

We have all been there: that moment when your lady is taking way too long to get to that point. Your jaw is getting stiff, your tongue can’t keep to that set speed much longer, your wrist is cramping, and you just need your sleep, as you’re in work in 4 hours.

Your mind is wondering… its going to place it shouldn’t, especially considering your meant to be in the throes of passion.

1. Like, I thought you said you were close… like 15 minutes ago.


2. I wonder if there are any good movies out right now…


3. I must remember to email my [insert colleagues names] when I get into work.


4. Ouch, my jaw is starting to hurt. In fact I think it may have locked.


5. I really don’t understand…Am I doing it wrong?


6. Is she enjoying this?


7. I need the bathroom, but when she’s finished she’ll want to cuddle. Will it be rude for me to just get up and use the loo?


8. Yes! I think she’s there.


9. No. False alarm.


10. My last GF didn’t take this long.


11. Should I speed up or slow down? Communicate women!


12. Why is she so quiet?


13. God, I just want her to finish so I can go to sleep.


14. I’m starting to get sore.


15. Seriously women, WTF is taking you so long?


Understanding and Accepting Your Sexuality (Video)

TeenLine has a great video called LGBTQ: Understanding Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities.

It is an educational video, which focuses on the lives of several LGBTQ teens in Los Angeles. The video discuses their coming out process, the support (or lack of support) they received, and how the learned to embrace their identities.

As we know some LGBTQ youth are more likely than their heterosexual peers to experience difficulties in their lives and school environments, such as violence.

Negative attitudes toward lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) people put these youth at increased risk for experiences with violence, compared with other students. Violence can include behaviours such as bullying, teasing, harassment, physical assault, and suicide-related behaviours.

LGBTQ youth are also at increased risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviours, suicide attempts, and suicide. A nationally representative study of adolescents in grades 7–12 found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth were more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide as their heterosexual peers.3 More studies are needed to better understand the risks for suicide among transgender youth. However, one study with 55 transgender youth found that about 25% reported suicide attempts.

For youth to thrive in their schools and communities, they need to feel socially, emotionally, and physically safe and supported. A positive school climate has been associated with decreased depression, suicidal feelings, substance use, and unexcused school absences among LGBQ students.

Schools can implement clear policies, procedures, and activities designed to promote a healthy environment for all youth. For example, research has shown that in schools with LGB support groups (such as gay-straight alliances), LGB students were less likely to experience threats of violence, miss school because they felt unsafe, or attempt suicide than those students in schools without LGB support groups. A recent study found that LGB students had fewer suicidal thoughts and attempts when schools had gay-straight alliances and policies prohibiting expression of homophobia in place for 3 or more years.