When it comes to raising your children, you and your partner are going to have your own opinions on how to raise them as well as have your own notions of what it means to have a “happy” child.

With that in mind, there are also some great ways that are backed up by science and studies that can help supplement your child’s happiness.

Here’s a look at five ways to that are proven to help raise a happier child…

Nurture Your Marriage (or current relationship)

Don’t let your relationship with your wife (or girlfriend if the two of you aren’t married) fall by the wayside once a child enters your life. Whether you chose to have a baby biologically or adopt, you’re definitely in for a change, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect each other.

You have to care for each other as much as the two of you are caring for the baby too.

Don’t Be Afraid to Lighten Up

Studies have found that joking around with your toddler helps set them up for social success. They are less likely to get defensive when with their peers and will definitely be much more light-hearted when it comes to joking around.

Plus…laughter is good medicine for the heart and soul. Also, when parents joke around and pretend, it helps younger children to think creatively, manage stress, and make friends more easily.

Foster Self-Compassion

When children learn self-compassion from their parents, they are not only going to be more self-aware, but more aware of the world around them in general.

When talking about self-compassion, we mean a sense of mindfulness, common humanity, empathy for others, and the ability to manage emotions and thoughts without repressing them or overreacting to them.

Be Positive

While this may be a pretty obvious tip, it’s still a very important part of raising a happy child. Children you come from a household who express negative emotions toward their infants are more likely to end up with aggressive and angry toddlers.

That anger can then carry over into your child’s adult life. So be sure to always use positive reinforcement with your child, and also be positive with your partner, as children pretty much take in everything their parents do.

Know Your Child

It goes without saying that every child is going to be different. That’s why it’s important to be in tune with him or her and make sure you recognize if there are any behavioral changes or anything that would suggest that your child is not feeling happy.

Studies have found that parents who tailor their parenting style to each child’s personality will be less likely to deal with anxiety and depression in their child. And if your child is already well-adjusted…don’t hover over them. That can not only cause anxiety, but also hurt their fragile self-esteem.

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Okay, we don’t need scientists to tell us that having two moms rocks, right? But it would be pretty cool to have some scientific reasoning to help back us up.

Although research on same-sex parenting is still an emerging field, there’s evidence so far to prove what we’ve been saying all along…gay parents are awesome! But why are we so successful at being parents? Here’s a look at the scientific reasoning when it comes to why same-sex couples make great parents…

Gay Parents Foster Tolerance

A child growing up in a gay household is much more likely to approach the world with an open mind and more empathy. Not only that, but they are most likely going to be accepting of all types of people since they come from an “alternative” type of family.

Gay Parents Choose to Have Kids

There’s no such things as an “oops” baby for a gay couple. They have to plan to have a baby, whether it be through adoption or biologically, making them more motivated and committed than some of their heterosexual counterparts…not to mention, they are more prepared and aren’t likely to consider a child an accident.

Kids From Same-Sex Households Do Just as Well in School

Studies have found that there really isn’t much of a difference with grade performance when it comes to children from heterosexual households versus same-sex ones. So there’s really no basis to the argument that a child with two mothers or two fathers will do worse in school because he or she has been brought up in a same-sex household.

Gay Parents Nurture the Neediest

Gay parents are more likely to adopt minority, at risk, or children whose cases are either special circumstances or at risk. More than half of these children also have special needs. A study found that more than half of gay men and at least 41 percent of lesbian couples will adopt in the United Stated alone. That’s a huge number of great potential parents to help with the hundreds of thousands of children who are currently stuck in foster care.

Gay Parents Raise Confident Children

Yup…this was based on a study as well. It found that raising a child in a same-sex household can give kids a boost of confidence. This may circle back to gay parents choosing to have children, therefore being more involved in their child’s life (which definitely helps boosts self-esteem in child). Or it could just be that gay parents really do just rock…we’ll leave that up to you do decide…

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The number of babies conceived through assisted reproduction technologies is steadily on the rise.

And for those who are using sperm donors to build their families, one of the most delicate issues that can arise as parents is how to talk to your children about the donors and the whole process in general.

When is the right time to discuss it with your child? And what exactly should you and your partner say to them?

Here’s a look at some tips to help when talking with your children about his or her donor.

Start Early

The longer you wait to tell your child, the harder it’s going to be for you and your partner to bring it up naturally. It’s never too early to tell the truth. In fact, some experts suggest telling your child about it while they are still in the womb so that you can get used to telling it to them when the time comes. Be matter of fact about it as though it’s not a big deal. If it’s not a big deal to your child’s two mommies, then it’s not going to be a big deal to him or her either. It’s also important to focus on your family rather than the details. Remind your child that both mommies loved each other very much and wanted to have a baby.

Distinguish Between Donor and Parent

As your child grows, he or she might start asking why they don’t have a “dad.” This is the time when it’s important to discuss with them the difference between a parent and a donor. Let them know that all families are different. What’s important is that there are two mothers that love them very much…that you two are the parents. Let them know that a donor doesn’t mean a father.

Keep the Conversation Going

Your child may continue to have questions as he or she gets older, especially once they learn about the birds and the bees, so to speak. So it’s important to always keep the doors of communication open when it comes to any questions they might have about the donor process. Think of a way that is easy for them to understand, and make sure they know that they were born out of their two mommies’ love for each other.

Acknowledge and Respect Your Child’s Feelings

Children are clear on who their parents are, so don’t be afraid of discussing any question they might have. It’s most likely they just want to understand things and are curious, like all children. Children can understand their donor origins and still know they are loved and celebrated by their family. But they may still experience complex emotions about it all, so encourage your child to talk about any emotions they may be feeling.

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What’s in a name? Well…pretty much everything. Your child is going to have to live with his or her name the rest of her life, so picking out the perfect name isn’t something to be taken lightly. But how do parents chose the perfect name for their child?

From researching name meanings to passing down a family name, there are quite a lot of factors to consider when it comes to picking that perfect name. Here’s a look at some tips to consider when it comes to naming their child…

Be Careful With Current Popular Names

If you’re looking for a unique name for your baby, be sure to do your research on the trending popular names. What you may think is a unique name may also be deemed “unique” to millions of other parents too. Sites like BabyNameWizard.com and Nameberry.com are great resources to use when it comes to checking whether a certain name is trending up or down.

How Does the Name Sound with Your Surname?

Although you might think it’s cute for your baby to have a rhyming first and last name, or a name that’s really similar to your surname, think about how that may affect your child in the future. Do you really want him to be teased for having a name that’s really easy to mock or make fun of? Instead of looking for a first name that jives with your last name, pick one that flows with it.

Avoid Names with Unfortunate Connotations

It doesn’t matter how much you and your partner love a certain name, if it reminds you of something negative, like an ex-girlfriend or someone who bullied you in high school…whatever the unfortunate connotation, don’t name your child that name. It’s also wise to avoid baby names that will be the same as a celebrity. For instance, if your surname is Beckham, don’t name your child Victoria. Unless of course, you’re a hard core Spice Girls fan…but even then…it’s weird.

Don’t Go With Weird Spellings

This will save both you and your child from having to endlessly correct the pronunciation of the name. We all had that one kid in school whose name was always messed up by the teacher during roll call, so why put your child through that? Before going with an oddly-spelled name, test it out with friends and relatives first. If they have a hard time pronouncing it like you intend, then it’s time to rethink that spelling or chose another name altogether.

Do You Both Love the Name?

Finding a name you both like can be a tricky thing. But it’s something you both must agree on. If your partner doesn’t like a favorite name of yours, don’t force it. It’s best to find some common ground instead. Both of you can make a list of names you like and go from there. You can eliminate names together and then chose which ones make the final cut.

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Children are curious. And there’s no way of escaping all of the inevitable questions that are going to come your way in general as a parent.

But as same-sex parent’s you may find yourselves fielding a whole new set of questions when it comes to your children’s friends. So what are you supposed to do whenever your child gets asked why he or she has two mommies? Well, your first instinct may be to say something along the lines of “Our family is none of your business!”

However, that’s probably not going to solve much of anything, and you may risk isolating your child. So here’s a look at some way to help your child explain your family to friends instead…

Simply State the Facts

Family’s come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and diversity. And whether you’re gay or straight, there are many ways in which people can become parents. Let your child know their family history. Keep it straightforward and simply, that way if he or she is met with having to explain his or her family to another curious child, they can do it in the same way they were told by you.

Normalize Your Family

Children will treat information the same way you and your partner do. So if you want your child to feel at ease answering questions about their two mommies, then the two of you need to feel at ease discussing it with them. Once again, it’s important to be straightforward and up front with your children. Let them know that just because there are two mothers in the household, that doesn’t mean they are any different from any other family. Talk with them about normal things you do as a family that other families most probably do as well.

Don’t Be Defensive

Other kids may still be curious about your child’s same-sex family even after answering questions and explaining. So if you find your child is still being questioned, don’t get defensive. While it’s your motherly instinct to defend and protect your child, as long as it’s truly curiosity and the other children wanting to understand, there’s nothing to really get defensive about. However, it’s always a good idea to always be aware of what’s going on with your child to make sure nothing is leading to bullying. Always encourage your child to be open with you and your partner, as you two should do the same for him or her.

Families = Love

When children have questions about same-sex families, it’s not about sex, it’s about love. When they think of families, they think of people who love them unconditionally. This is a good explanation to give to your child in response to questions about them having two moms. When it comes down to it, really the only answer your child needs is a response along the lines of: “My parents are my parents because they love me and they love each other.” Simple as that…and children are good with simple.

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What parent hasn’t experienced that struggle or “bedtime battle” when it comes to trying to get your children to sleep. More often than not, it’s not because your child is trying to pick a fight, they truly just don’t want to go to bed.

Whether they feel like they’ll miss out on something while they sleep (don’t all kids think their parents do all the fun stuff when they have to go to bed?), or maybe they’re afraid of the dark or are just excited for something that’s coming up in the week, there could be many reasons why your child is giving you a hard time at night.

Here’s a look at some tips to help make bedtime less of a battle and more of a sleepy surrender…

Have Quiet Time Before Bedtime

This means no video games, movies, or television at least a half an hour before bedtime. Two hours of quiet time is actually ideal, but sometimes you may have to compromise and settle for the half hour. Either way, having no outside stimulation before bedtime will help calm your child down as well as relax them. Also, light form the television screen can actually interfere with melatonin, an important sleep hormone.

Create a Sleep-Inducing Environment

If your child doesn’t feel comfortable and safe in their bedroom, chances are they are going to have a hard time sleeping. Make sure his or her room has a welcoming atmosphere complete with favorite stuffed animals, soft sheets and pillows, and enough darkness in the room to allow your child to fall asleep easier. The more at home they feel, the less likely they are to fight you when it comes to going to bed.

Keep a Consistent Bedtime Routine

Infants, toddlers, and preschoolers do better with routines. When it comes to bedtime, don’t scrap the daily routine either. Be consistent with thing you and your child do before bedtime like perhaps first it’s bath time, next story time, and then bedtime. When you child gets into this bedtime routine, he or she will find comfort in knowing what comes next and will be more apt to fall asleep instead of fighting you to stay awake.

Address Bedtime Fears

If your child says there’s a monster under the bed, instead of dismissing his or her fears, instead try talking about it. Sometimes some simple reassurance can help them feel more at ease and protected. If that doesn’t work, then be creative with how you “protect” your child from they’re afraid of. For example, assign a specific stuffed animal as the “monster protector” or grab a can of air freshener and deem it the “monster repellant.” Your child will appreciate your efforts and take comfort in knowing they don’t have to be afraid at bedtime.

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Reading to your children is a wonderful way to bond with them and spend quality time together, not to mention it helps them learn to love to read.

The best way to keep your child interested in reading is to find stories they can relate to and connect with. However, that can prove to be difficult when it comes to finding books that portrays a family that has two mommies… or any other type of diverse family for that matter.

Chances are, you’re going to find next to nothing in terms of LGBT-themes children’s books at your library or local bookstore. Have no fear though, we’ve compiled useful list of children’s books that celebrate having a diverse family.

Take a look at these suggestions that can be found online, or maybe you can even request your local library or bookstore to carry them…

Mommy, Mama, and Me : By Leslea Newman

This book tells the story of the everyday life of a family with two moms. It’s great for young toddlers through preschoolers, as they can easily relate to the story and what the child does with his two mommies like going to the park and having bath time. There’s also a version with two dads entitled Daddy, Papa, and Me as well.

And Tango Makes Three: By Justin Richardson

This endearing book tells the true story of two male penguins in Central Park Zoo in NYC that paired up with each other and were eventually given an egg to hatch. The result was their chick, Tango, which they raised together as a family. It’s a great example of how love and caring makes a family, not how many daddies or mommies you have.

A Tale of Two Mommies: By Vanita Oelschlager

It’s got fabulously vibrant illustrations done by Mike Blanc and tells the story of two friends asking a third how his family works since he has two mommies. But they don’t want to know the questions that adults tend to over think. Instead they are curious about with one bakes the cakes and who coaches little league. In the end they find out that their friend isn’t any different from them just because he has two mommies. There’s also a dad version entitled A Tale of Two Daddies as well.

The Big Book of Families: By Mary Hoffman and Ros Asquith

Whether your family has two moms, two dads, a step-dad, or even no dad, this book pretty much covers any kind of family you can think of. It has a lot of great, funny pictures and plenty of details for even the most inquisitive child. And it will be even more fun when you get to pick out your family within the pages.

Molly’s Family: By Nancy Garden

Molly draws her two mommies in her kindergarten class and gets told by classmates that she can’t have two moms. Instead of the teacher scolding the classmates, she instead teaches a lesson we could all learn from…that every family is different and that’s okay. It’s a great way to start a discussion with your child about how to handle that type of situation, should they face it in school.

King and King: By Linda de Haan and Stern Nijland

This is a great alternative to the typical princess fairytale stories. It’s the story of a prince who is told he must marry a princess in order to inherit the throne. There’s just one problem…the prince isn’t into princesses. It’s a story about staying true to yourself and finding love…and of course, ends happily ever after.

Do you have any more titles to suggest? Let us know in the comments below!

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It’ something no parent wants to hear…that their child is being bullied. With today’s hi-tech world of social media and easy access to online platforms, the issue of bullying is becoming an epidemic.

And it’s no secret that children with same-sex parents have an even bigger risk of being bullied. Since you can’t be with your child every minute of every day, one of the best ways to prevent bullying is to be aware of the warning signs.

That way you can be on the lookout for any potential changes in your child’s behavior and get on top of things before they get out of hand. Here’s a look at 10 warning signs to be on the lookout for when it comes to whether or not your child is being bullied…

1. Unexplained Physical Marks, Scrapes, Cuts, or Bruises

It could be just another day on the playground, or it could be more. Be aware of any injuries your child comes home with.

2. Afraid to Be Left Alone

Whether at the bus stop or being dropped off at school. If you’re child suddenly doesn’t want to be left alone or becomes clingy out of nowhere, this could be a sign he or she is being bullied.

3. Change in Eating Habits

Look out for the “I’m not hungry” excuse or any other changes in your child’s eating habits that seem out of the ordinary.

4. Damaged Clothes, Toys, Books, etc

If you noticed any of your child’s possessions or clothes damaged, be sure to ask what happened. Look for a direct response versus excuses. And if the damage keeps happening, definitely look into it.

5. Withdrawn Behavior

Behavior changes are a big warning sign of bullying. If your child is typically energetic and cheery and is now withdrawn, there’s a good change of bullying.

6. Acting Out

If your child is usually well-behaved and not one to act out or pick fights with you and is now suddenly doing so, he or she could be trying to deal with the anger from being bullied.

7. Doesn’t Want to Go to School

What kid actually wants to go to school, right? But in the case of bullying, they are going to be suddenly very adamant about not going…to the point where they may throw tantrums, cry, or even beg you not to make them go. If this happens, there’s a very good chance he or she is being bullied at school.

8. Sudden Drop in Grades

A drastic drop in your child’s grades can definitely indicate he or she’s being bullied. That’s why it’s always important to stay involved and keep track of their grades and progress in school.

9. Unexplained loss of Lunch Money, Toys, Electronic Devices, etc

This could mean your child was bullied into giving up something of value to either them or the bully. Be sure to keep track of your child’s belongings and find out if anything is missing and why.

10. Abnormal Physical Complaints…headache, stomachache

…or your child is making numerous trips to the nurse’s office. This could mean they are trying to avoid running into their bully and are coming up with excuses not to go to class or school in general.

One of the best ways to help your child with bullying is to be there for him or her. If you do notice some signs of it, talk to them. They may avoid the topic at first, or they may be relieved that you finally know. Either way, let them know they aren’t alone and you’ll tackle the issue together, as a family.

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As a parent, you probably find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about your children. From worrying if they have all they need to wondering if they’re getting enough sleep and nutrition…there’s definitely plenty to keep your mind busy and maybe even anxious.

But you can also get caught in a negative cycle of anxiety, one that has you thinking about potential negative outcomes and questions about the future.

And while it’s okay to have some general anxiety from being a parent, too much worry can lead to poor health, both mental and physical. Here’s a look at some ways to help you relive that anxiety and relax a bit more when it comes to being a parent.

Ask What You’re Really Anxious About

When you confront what’s making you anxious, you’ll be less likely to deflect your anxiety onto your child and partner. Avoiding the problem isn’t going to help either.

You first must ask yourself what’s causing your anxiety. Once you’ve identified it, then you can address it and work through it so that it eventually doesn’t bother you again.

Identify What You Can and Can’t Control

This means focusing your efforts on things you can control in your household and letting go of the things you don’t’ have control over. Anxiety can manifest out of the things you think are out of your control. By letting go of those things you are taking control of yourself as well.

Know the Difference Between Facts and Fears

Worry and anxiety tends to come from fear of the unknown and the “what ifs.” Don’t let that way of thinking take over your mind. Instead, ask yourself if there is evidence to prove what you’re worried about.

You also need to understand what triggers your anxiety. Is it a fear coming back to haunt you from when you were your child’s age? In this case, there’s no evidence the same thing will happen to your child. It’s time to put that worry aside and move on with the present.

Stay in the Present

It’s not healthy to dwell on the “what if” scenarios about your child. Instead of letting your anxiety grow by thinking about the future, stay with the present. Be with your child and what is happening in the now.

Listen to your child and his or her’s needs in the present. From there you can help shape a positive future, leaving you with less anxiety and worry about the negatives that could happen.

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