Many people set a life plan, especially once they’ve finished collage or fall in love. They plan when they will move in with their partner, they plan their career route and when they will get promoted. Some people make plans for everything and find it hard to accept when things don’t go according to plan.
But life is not like that. Variables have a habit of getting in the way. For example, you plan when you and your partner are going to get married. That’s not going to work if your chosen partner doesn’t believe in marriage, is it? What if you plan to leave home by the age of 25 and when you reach 25 you barely have enough money saved to pay for a night out? Feeling like a failure is not going to help your situation and will in fact just hinder your future even more.
So what should you do? Here are some ideas to help you accept things if your life plan just ain’t happening.
Try to be spontaneous
This can be quite difficult for people that like to plan things, but with practise it can be done. If you are the type of person that takes months to plan a weekend away then getting used to the idea of taking off on a whim can seem quite scary, so start of small. Start off by saying yes to a few things. If friends suggest going to an all-night takeaway at 3am, say yes and go! Say yes to some things that would normally send you off into a tailspin. Once you’ve practised doing a few spontaneous things it won’t take long before you are the one asking your friends to do some spontaneous things. Learning to let go and embrace the moment can be really liberating, once you learn to enjoy it.
Try to be more laid back
Try to stop yourself planning everything when you start a new job or meet a new partner. It doesn’t matter if you don’t always get to the end. All new relationships don’t always end in happy ever afters and not all new jobs will lead to that dream promotion. So try to take things day by day and let things just happen naturally rather than strive for them to happen. If they are supposed to happen they will, whether you spend ages planning for them or not.
Eliminate drama from your life
Drama and toxic people normally go hand in hand. So, distance yourself from any people in your life that cause you unnecessary drama. Dealing with constant drama can make you really uptight and being uptight is not the key to relaxing and going with the flow. If the drama is coming from your work, look for a new one, even if you had planned to stay with the company for a few years. Ditch the plan and ditch the drama. You’ll be a lot happier for it in the long run.
Set realistic boundaries
Sometimes things are just never going to happen, no matter how much you plan them to or want them to. If you take a step back and look at things rationally you will be surprised to see how many of your goals are not really achievable. You might have planned five years ago to get your own apartment by next year, but in five years the cost of things has gone up so much and if your earnings haven’t, then realistically you aren’t going to be able to afford to make your plan happen. If you start being realistic and honest with what is achievable and what isn’t you will take a lot of pressure off yourself.
Worry about your own opinion, not everyone else’s
Try not to worry if people start asking you why you are suddenly being more spontaneous or why you no longer seem to be striving obsessively towards your goals. Their opinions aren’t important. Your happiness is. People have probably always known you as a planner so if you suddenly don’t seem so focused to them, don’t worry about it. Just do what makes you happy and your true friends will accept the new you and even embrace it.
Accept your life
Realizing that not everything has to be written down, planned and followed to the T is part of letting go, so accept how your life is going for the moment and see what opportunities come along. And they will, for sure. When you are obsessing to reach a goal you are unlikely to see other opportunities that could be taken, but once you accept that and learn to say yes a lot more and take a few risks you will find that many new doors will open for you.