Getting situated in the online dating world can be a mess. There are so many people using internet dating sites these days that your chances for finding your perfect match are actually pretty good.
Of course, your chances of meeting a married woman, a psycho stalker, or an online heartbreaker are pretty likely, too – after all, there are bound to be some less-than-desirables out there, too.
What’s even worse is that, sometimes, the line between the perfect match and the woman who’s wasting your time is just a little bit blurry.
She might seem perfect for you – but if she’s doing any of the 6 things listed below, she might be just an internet fling.
A FLING talks about herself. A GIRLFRIEND talks about her future.
The girl who’s wasting your time will probably talk herself up. While there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments, the way she presents the information is definitely intended to shape your opinions of her. You might find yourself wondering if she’s actually done all the things she said she has – because if she’s really as accomplished as she says she is, she’s probably too busy to be with you.
The girl who is girlfriend material, however, would rather talk about the things she still has yet to accomplish. She has her own goals and dreams, and she isn’t trying to dazzle you with stories. She’s honest about her perceived flaws, and even though she might not bring them up directly, she’s not going to make up lies and excuses as to why she is the way she is.
A FLING texts you all day long. A GIRLFRIEND texts at appropriate times.
The girl who’s just using you to fill her time is going to text you whenever her other people aren’t texting back. If she’s up in the middle of the night, you might get a text. She might even stay up all night talking to you – after all, she wants to get as much information exchanged as possible before you realize she’s not really in it for the long haul.
The girl who wants to be your girlfriend is going to take a different approach. She’s going to pay attention to your schedule (assuming you’ve told her) or normal social conventions. She might also take a bit longer to think of her messages, because she’s trying to make sure she doesn’t mess anything up.
A FLING doesn’t make any solid plans. A GIRLFRIEND is eager to meet you.
Even though your fling is texting you at all hours of the day and night, she’s not actually interested in meeting up with you. She always has an excuse as to why she can’t make it – or, worse, she just doesn’t show up, time after time. She doesn’t really mind that she’s wasting your time, because it’s about the attention for her – and you’re giving her extra attention every time you set another date with her.
The girlfriend material, on the other hand, understands that you both have other commitments, and doesn’t agree to any plans unless she’s sure she can make it a priority. She’s looking forward to meeting you and will actually block it off in her schedule. If something does come up, she’s on the phone as soon as possible to let you know she’ll be a little late.
A FLING wants flirty photos, but won’t send them back. A GIRLFRIEND won’t ask for anything she wouldn’t send back.
Some women enjoy collecting pictures of attractive women, and may ask you to take pictures for you all the time. She might even ask for some sexy photos – despite not meeting face to face first. Of course, she’s far too shy to send anything identifiable back – she doesn’t anticipate sticking around, and she’d hate for you to have revenge porn material on her.
The woman who’s going to be your girlfriend wouldn’t ask you for anything unless she was also comfortable sending it back. She understands that different people have different comfort zones, and she wouldn’t intentionally try to push you further than she’d let you push her. Most of all, if she asks for a sexy photo, and you say no, that’s the end of the conversation – she’s not interested in being a creep.
A FLING is great at playing hide-and-seek. A GIRLFRIEND doesn’t have time for games.
Some women make a habit of going completely ghost when they’re not sure how they feel about you. This is frustrating, to some degree, but also essential for figuring out their feelings. If they decide they do want you in their life, they’ll pop back up unexpectedly – usually right around when you start showing interest to someone else.
The woman who wants to be your girlfriend is too busy living her own life to worry about playing games. She’ll let you know when something comes up and she won’t be able to talk for a while. She might not always answer right away, but she won’t leave you wondering if she got the call. She respects you and your time, and she couldn’t forgive herself if she purposely wasted your time.
A FLING is going to flake even after she finally makes plans. A GIRLFRIEND is worth the wait.
The girl who doesn’t want to be your girlfriend is going to take the easy way out whenever something comes up. You aren’t a priority to her, so if there’s anything else that might be more interesting to her, she’s not going to give it a second thought. She just wants to make sure she’s entertained – and, unfortunately, your feelings don’t make much of a difference.
The girl who wants to be with you is a bit different. When you finally make plans to meet up, she’s going to be the person she told you she was – not someone completely unrecognizable. Seeing her face to face the first time is going to feel like you’ve met up with an old friend, and you’ll be glad you took the time to know her. There’s no guarantee the relationship will go smoothly, but she’s already shown you more respect than the girl who just wants a fling – why not give her a chance?
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