How can we not all endear to the fabulous Kirsten Stewart? We’ve seen her get slated and praised by the media, avidly read about her turbulent love life, punched the air in joy when she started hinting about her sexuality and soon her latest film Café Society, directed by Hollywood Legend Woody Allen will hit the big screen.
So what does it really mean to be Kirsten Stewart? Well, in her most frank interview to date with Elle UK Magazine, due to appear on the shelves in Septembers issue, she candidly opens up about her own battle with Obsessive Compulsive disorder and acute anxiety, common mental health problems that many people suffer from.
Kirsten discloses to Elle that in the past she has suffered from anxiety so badly that it affected her everyday life.
I went through so much stress and periods of strife. I would have panic attacks…I literally always had a stomach ache. And I was a control freak and I couldn’t anticipate what was going to happen in a given situation, so I’d be like, ‘Maybe I’m going to get sick’… It’s kind of remarkable.”
Luckily though she managed to overcome this as she learned to deal with things a bit better.
I just grew out of it, but that’s not to say I don’t get worried.”
K- Stew hasn’t just dealt with anxiety issues either. She even revealed her own personal battle against OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as it’s also known as.
This common mental health issue leaves sufferers with an intense urge to repeat the same behaviours over and over again such as hand washing or continually checking the light switches are turned off before leaving the house for example. She also goes on to say that she does now manage to control it.
As I am getting older I’m going into my OCD. If things are a mess, I feel like I have lost everything. So I procrastinate by tidying, which is so stupid. I changed, that’s the thing – at a certain time point I realised that the fear was death, but I had gone through so much that did not kill me… sorry, I know that sounds dramatic … I realise the anxiety just ran out. I didn’t have the energy to do that anymore.”
Bringing awareness to one’s own mental health issues is a very courageous thing to do and if there is one thing to be said about Kristen it’s the fact that she really is brave.
Even back in 2010 when she was still in her teens she opened up about the pressure of dealing with fame and how the downside was often worse than the upside, especially when she mentioned about dealing with negative press and how she would base her persona on all the things that had been said about her. She also mentioned the fact that people would think she was bad tempered or moody and commented:
What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. All you see is an actor or a celebrity lit up but a flash. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s f**ked. I never expected that this would be my life.”
Very wise and surprisingly open words for a teen in all honesty. And that’s not all this very real woman has talked frankly about. Back last year during an interview with Nylon she touched upon her own sexuality but without defining herself with any kind of label. She smacked labels totally in fact by stating:
Google me, I’m not hiding. If you feel like you really want to define yourself, and you have the ability to articulate those parameters and that in itself defines you, then do it. But I am an actress, man.
I live in the fucking ambiguity of this life and I love it. I don’t feel like it would be true for me to be like, ‘I’m coming out!’ No, I do a job. Until I decide that I’m starting a foundation or that I have some perspective or opinion that other people should be receiving… I don’t. I’m just a kid making movies.”
Recently however she seems more comfortable with using terms like ‘Girlfriend’ and ‘in love.’ She has openly told the press about her long term partner Alicia Cargile and gushed:
Right now I’m just really in love with my girlfriend. We’ve broken up a couple of times and gotten back together, and this time I was like, ‘Finally, I can feel again.'”
Along with this she has often posted pictures of herself and Alicia on her Twitter page, much to her fan’s delight and when asked why she decided to be more open about her relationship she stated in a way only K- Stew can:
When I was dating a guy I was hiding everything that I did because everything personal felt like it was immediately trivialised, so I didn’t like it. We were turned into these characters and placed into this ridiculous comic book. But then it changed when I started dating a girl. I was like, ‘Actually, to hide this provides the implication that I’m not down with it or I’m ashamed of it, so I had to alter how I approached being in public. It opened my life up and I’m so much happier.'”
We all think this gal has it going down totally. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, speak out about mental health issues and open up about her own sexuality.
For a twenty-something woman who has spent nearly twenty years in the public eye she has overcome more than her fair share of obstacles and yet her career continues to grow, her openness continues to grow and our love for her continues to grow.
Keep on going as you are K- Stew, we think you are fabulous.