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Lesbian in a (Gay) Man’s World

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There has always been this belief that lesbians and gay men don’t get on, or don’t like each other. To a certain extent I think this is still true, especially amongst some of the older community.

Some of my older male friends will tell me stories of the man-hating ‘diesel dykes’ that would cause trouble or create confrontation when a man was in ‘their bar’. I still find it quite shocking things were like this 20/30+ years ago, especially when back then everyone essentially wanted the same thing; equality.

Thankfully, the LGBT community has come on leaps and bounds and for the most part we happily mix.

I’m far from being a lesbian that hates men. I love men. I feel like I am more like one of the guys. As I’m writing this now I’m sitting with 5 guys. They’re not camp (until 5 pints anyhow). They’re men. They’re just blokes. If that makes sense.

In a way it surprises me, because growing up I never really had a positive male role model in my life. All my role models were strong women. Men cheated, ran away from their responsibilities and were generally emotionally useless. I saw men as the weaker sex. In certain ways I still do, but unless I need to ‘talk’ or cry, I still prefer their company.

I used to hang out with women more, but I always felt a little out of place. Not involved in, not understanding or simply not interested in their conversations. They’d discuss work a lot, which bored me. They were all very political. Very intense about who they’d be voting for. Whereas I really couldn’t give a flying ****.

They baked a lot. They gardened. I hate gardening. And baking.

They were all very, well, gay. Very gay rights, very active in pushing equal rights for women. I shan’t expand more on that because to be completely honest I’ve not a clue what I’m talking about. It isn’t a bad thing, not at all, it just isn’t for me. I’m clearly far from being a feminist.

But I like the ease of hanging out with the guys. I like the conversation, nothing is usually too serious, but if it does get serious, we can have a good debate. We laugh more. I feel I’m looked after. It’s like having 30 big brothers, and I guess in the same way I’m looked after like a little sister. They’re always around, between my work and social life, always on the end of the phone or 5 minutes away if I need one of them.

Love the guys, girls. And after all, it’s great having no competition.

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3 thoughts on “Lesbian in a (Gay) Man’s World

  1. Edie Wyatt

    I’m confused that you say you’re not a feminist because you don’t follow political goings on. Do you not believe in equal rights and fair treatment for all? That is what a feminist is.

  2. Ash

    My personal interpretation of a feminist is someone who is active in fighting for women’s rights, which I am not. That is not to say that I don’t believe in equality for all, of course I do.

  3. Pingback: Lifestyle Blogging | It's Just Ash

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If only the world was as “open-minded” as us… Alas, matters of sexual identity and equal love, often cause so much friction in the rest of the world. Here, find an open dialogue on the issues facing our LGBT community.

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