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My Big Fat Lesbian Wedding: The Do’s and Don’ts

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When it comes to planning a same-sex marriage, the details aren’t all that different than a “traditional” marriage.

And while you may run into a few snags here and there when it comes to dealing with opposition to your lesbian wedding, you shouldn’t let that deter you from planning the perfect day for you and your future wife.

Here are a few do’s and don’ts to consider when it comes to your wedding planning…


DO: Know Your Goals and Priorities: Wedding goals are must no matter who is getting married. Know what you want out of your ceremony and be sure to prioritize what you hope to achieve.


DON’T: Feel Like You Have To Plan Your Wedding Like You are Bride & Groom: Find a balance that’s right for you and your girlfriend. You may want to go with traditional or you may want something completely different.


DO: Plan Things Your Way: Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion if there’s something in the planning you or your girlfriend don’t like or aren’t happy with. It’s your day after all…so be firm and make sure it’s done your way.


DON’T: Be Afraid to Put Creative Spins on Tradition: Who says the two of you can’t walk down the aisle together? While it’s okay to stick with tradition as well, how you plan your wedding and what traditions you want should depend solely on you and your bride to be. Don’t be afraid to get a little creative with your wedding.


DO: Help Family & Friends be Confident in Their Wedding Roles: Will one parent walk to down the aisle? Both? Or will you walk each other down the aisle? Will there be joint showers and bachelorette parties or does such tradition even interest you and your girlfriend? Be sure to keep your friends and family clued in on everything too. That way you’ll have less of a chance for misunderstanding and conflict.


DON’T: Let Backwards Thinking Vendors Get You Down: Opposition to same-sex marriage will probably always exist. As a lesbian couple, you both must feel comfortable with your potential vendors. Make sure you are upfront and communicate with them. You don’t want to find out a week before your wedding that your baker doesn’t want to do a same-sex wedding.

When everybody is up front with each other from the start, planning will go smoothly. And don’t worry about those who refuse to take part in a gay wedding. There are plenty of vendors out there that will have no problem making your special day that much more special.


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If only the world was as “open-minded” as us… Alas, matters of sexual identity and equal love, often cause so much friction in the rest of the world. Here, find an open dialogue on the issues facing our LGBT community.

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