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Q: My Straight Crush Admitted She Likes Me, So What Should I Do?

Dear KitschMix,

We’re both 18. She’s had a few boyfriends before. I’ve never been in a relationship. I kind of got introduced into her friend group around 12th grade and we got kinda close. I’m pretty sure everyone in my friend group was in love with her, like Jesus she’s amazing. I was fine being just friends because I was (am) confused by my sexuality, and she’s always been the straight girl I would never have a chance with.

Anyways we started texting and she asked me if I’ve ever thought about girls as more than friends. I tell her I think I’m bisexual. She says she’s been questioning a lot lately and it’s confusing.

Me being me, tell her I “used to” be crushing on her “for a bit.” She says she has a crush on me too. I proceed to freak the fuck out but play it really cool in convo trying to lighten the mood and stuff cause neither of us know how to react haha. I’ve never been in a relationship and now I’m freaked out. She freaked out a bit more than me like “let’s pretend we’ve never had this conversation” I’m all like “relax” “don’t worry about it”.

I’ve never had a relationship before so I have no idea what I’m doing although I try to play off the more “totally cool with everything” vibe, which I’m not sure is the right thing to do. She’s confused, I’m confused – should I even go there?

A: Dear Reader,

It sounds to me that you are both curious – which is possibly the best situation to explore a relationship (if you are both on the same experience level).

Keep in mind if you have never been in a relationship before – there is always a chance it will go sour. The fact that you’re both curious doesn’t really factor in quite as much as if one of you were curious and the other were out-and-proud.

It is possible that one (or both) of you will discover that you don’t actually like girls at all.

It is possible that one (or both) of you will discover that you are definitely bisexual.

It is possible that one (or both) of you will realize that you’re a lesbian.

All of these factors can result in some bad endings, but usually only if one of you decides you’re definitely straight and the other begins to develop deeper feelings. Of course, the chance that one of you will fall harder than the other can’t really be avoided.

I would strongly recommend you pursue it, but only if you can handle the idea of losing her as a friend. You’ll never know the answers if you don’t ask the questions, and the uncertainty and confusion can really mess with your head. Of course, I hope that you two will remain happy together, but it’s unlikely that your first relationship will be the “right” relationship for the rest of your life.

It’s not impossible, just as it’s not impossible to stay friends after a break-up. But you have to understand what the consequences could be.

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