Why NOT Texting Your Ex Is The Best Form Of Revenge

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I’ll admit: I was once the girl who would (desperately) try to talk an ex out of leaving. Usually, it was one particular ex, and the fact that my tactics worked should have been a sign that she was really the wrong girl for me. It took me a really, really, embarrassingly long time to realize that I was only prolonging the pain by refusing to let go. In fact, I’m pretty sure she was just going along with it to make me shut up.

Realistically, she knew she had power over me. And I kept reminding her every time I asked her to just come back to me.

What’s that they say about hindsight being 20-20? Yeah. Totally true. You need to distance yourself from a situation – and if you don’t, you’ll never be able to move forward.

It seems obvious, but it’s not always easy to follow through. It’s super important that you do, though – and here’s why.

Texting her tells her she’s still in control.

Whether your relationship was as toxic as mine was or not, you shouldn’t allow someone control over your life if you don’t even have a place in hers.

She’ll want you more if she knows she can’t have you.

So, if you’re trying to prove something to yourself, the best way to actually prove that is to ice her out.

Not texting shows her you’re the bigger person.

Does a big (emotionally) woman go crawling back to someone who’s rejected her? No she does not.

You have better things to do.

If you’re still texting her, you’re telling her that she’s still largely important in your life. Even if that’s true, you probably shouldn’t admit it.

It takes too much time.

Sure, sending a quick text doesn’t take long. But she knows how long it took you to work up the nerve, and she knows how long after the text you’ll be waiting for a reply.

Because she doesn’t deserve to know you’re sad.

She broke your heart – so why would you give her the power to do it again?

Because she doesn’t deserve to be sad.

If you broke her heart, how do you think it’s going to feel when she picks up her phone and sees your messages? Probably not good.

The opposite of love is indifference.

It seems that texting her to let her know that you’re over the relationship will give you closure, but… It won’t. It’ll just keep those wounds fresh.

Is she really the thing you want to associate with drunken shenanigans?

Alcohol (and other mind-altering substances) affect your ability to process things. And while they can make you happy, for a while, drinking or smoking marijuana when you’re already sad is going to get you even more down. Fact.

You deserve to move on.

Even if you think you’ve already moved on, if you’re thinking about texting your ex – whether angrily or apologetically – you’re not. You need to forgive yourself, but she is under no obligation to forgive you. Just let it go.

The only way to really get closure is to close the damn book, so to speak.

It seems like talking through things “one last time” will resolve any lingering feelings. It won’t, though. It just opens up the wounds for everything you apologize for (or that she apologizes for). Delete the number from your phone and move on with your life. You deserve it.

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