Many ladies get a bit squeamish when it comes to the subject of period sex. It’s pretty understandable, actually, as many women have learned to think that their menstrual cycle is “gross” or “dirty”. It’s not the cleanest time, and we may even think we smell. However, period sex is one of those weird things that you can’t help but think about. After all, many women are highly aroused and sensitive to stimulation when on their period. It’s scientific.
Is it worth putting up with the “gross” bits in order to give in to your desires? Well, that’s a matter of personal preference. There are arguments for and against it, and no two people weigh the factors exactly the same. We have taken a look into the pros and cons in order to help you make a more informed decision one way or the other.
Pro: It feels really good.
When you’re on your period, your body is naturally more receptive to certain stimuli. Sometimes this is an emotional stimulus, such as something that would normally make you a bit frustrated suddenly makes you quite angry. Some women may not be aware that this sensitivity extends to your physical senses, too.
Particularly if you haven’t been touched in a while, the nerve endings in your skin will be on fire at the slightest touch. Sometimes this can make you extra ticklish – but sometimes it means that you’ll be more turned on. We all know that the more turned on you are, the better it feels!
Con: It can be messy.
Ladies, the best sex is usually messy. This may not ring true for everyone, but if your partner is sufficiently aroused, she’s most likely to leave a “wet spot” on the bed. However, there’s a huge difference between normal sexual fluids and period blood, and often the difference can mean stained sheets if you’re not careful.
If you wish to participate in period sex, but don’t want to worry about the mess, there are some options. I find that putting in a fresh tampon and washing the area before sexual activity is generally the cleanest solution. If you are still concerned, there’s probably some old towel lying around somewhere that can help save your bedding just in case there’s any bleeding over.
For those who may be unable (or unwilling) to use a tampon, you can elect to have sex in the shower instead. It’s typically a good idea to not come into contact with someone else’s blood, so ensure that you are taking the adequate precautions. The point here is that it doesn’t have to be messy if you don’t want it to be.
Pro: It helps relieve cramps.
If you’re cramping pretty bad, it can be tough to remember that physical activity helps. Most of us, when on our periods, have very little desire to go for a jog – but there is some other “cardio” you can do that doesn’t even require getting out of bed. If your partner is willing to satisfy your sexual needs and get your heart pumping, it actually has an anesthetic effect on your uterus (your whole body, actually!).
Even if it didn’t actually stop your period pains, it can be a great distraction from them. After all, if you’re in the middle of an orgasm, are you really going to think about your headache?
Con: Some women are afraid it will smell.
When we’re on our periods, we can often smell ourselves – and this makes us uncomfortable. However, remember when I said period sex feels really good? Your sense of smell is overcharged at this point of your menstrual cycle, too – as long as you keep it clean, the only reason you can smell it is because your nose is going haywire.
If you’re worried about the smell of your vagina when you’re on your period, make sure you take a shower. Even just a quick rinse before you begin can do wonders. Most of the time, you smell worse to yourself than you do to someone else.
Pro: It feeds our desire to be pampered.
Of course, not everyone has the desire to be pampered when they’re on their period, but many women do – and period sex is great for that. The “extra work” required can be used as a foreplay tactic, and the receiver can soak up all this attention without guilt. After all, your partner is getting the pleasure of not having limits on when she can have you – that’s its own gift sometimes!
If you plan to use this as a tactic to help you talk your partner into letting you have sex with her when she’s on her period, you can start by giving her a sensual massage. I don’t know too many women who object to getting a massage – especially when they’re on their period! Her body’s nerve endings will be extra stimulated by this, and it’s easy to pave the way to passionate exploration. You might not even have to go “all the way” for her to climax – but your experience may vary.
Con: We might not feel sexy.
I know a lot of women who thrive on their perception of themselves as sexual creatures, and when we’re bloated and miserable, we’re not exactly the most self-confident. However, this is something your partner can directly help with. By showing you that she is attracted to you even when you don’t find yourself attractive, she is confirming that you really are. Her opinion might not be as important to you as your own, but it’s surely a start!
Over time, when a partner shows us that they find us attractive no matter what, our bond is strengthened. Whether we choose to admit it or not, humans are creatures of ego in at least some part. We form our opinions of ourselves indirectly as a result of the opinions of others (whether in agreement or disagreement). This means that even those women with the lowest self-esteem can eventually learn to love their bodies in every way when given enough encouragement.
Pro: It relieves sexual frustration and stress.
Truly, this is something that’s true of any good sex, but it’s particularly important when you’re on your period. The way our hormones may spike can lead to a great deal of stress, which is more difficult to relieve because of those same hormones. It seems like a catch-22, but it doesn’t have to be. You just need to focus on something that brings you joy, and separate yourself from the things that cause you frustrations.
Some women even get stressed about the fact that they “can’t” have sex while they’re on their period, which in some ways is ridiculous. There are no set-in-stone rules that say you can’t, only constructs of your mind that bring up the negativity.
Con: It’s wrong.
Okay, so I said there were no set-in-stone rules, but I think technically it’s in the Bible that you shouldn’t “lie” with a woman on her period. Obviously if you feel that it’s against your religious beliefs, you shouldn’t participate – but otherwise, the fact that it’s “against the rules” can actually be a benefit.
For those who don’t have firm beliefs that period sex is wrong, and instead only have their society or culture telling them that it’s wrong – this can be used to your advantage. Many women are aroused by the idea of doing what’s “taboo”, and period sex can be a way to indulge this. After all, outside of you and your partner, who’s going to know that you did it? It can be a secret if you want it to be – and sometimes secrets are extra sexy.