The Secret To Being Exactly Who You Want To Be

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I am on a perpetual quest for self-discovery and self-development. I’ve always thought that learning was the key to everything else, so when I discovered how not lame self-help books really were… Well, let’s just say my addictive personality took over, and my life was forever changed.

It’s remarkable, though, that pretty much every one of those self-help books has revolved around the same core messages. I’m about to blow your mind – here’s exactly what you need to do to be the absolute best version of yourself.

Are you ready for this?

Start now.

It seems so simple – just get started. But we tell ourselves that we have to wait until we accomplish something else. We tell ourselves that it’s not the right time to make such a big change. We tell ourselves that we’re not ready, because we haven’t done enough research or we aren’t 100% sure yet. But the most successful people in life are the ones who stop waiting and start being. When you stop focusing on who you want to be in the future, you can actually start becoming that person. It’s all about taking the right steps to form the right habits.

Don’t worry about labels.

Most of the time, labels and titles are just a distraction from your real goals. You’re never going to be the exact description of anything in your life, so the sooner you can detach from it, the better your life will be. Titles don’t bring value or happiness to your life. They only exist to stroke your ego – and your ego is only going to mess things up for you.

You are what you do.

You are not the person you used to be, nor are you the person you want to be – you are the person who does the things you do. That’s really just a complicated way to say that you need to be consistent, if you want to stay the person you want to become. You don’t get credit for who you used to be, and you don’t get credit for dreams you don’t reach – so stop making up excuses, and start being who you want to be!

Other people don’t matter.

Stop worrying about what other people think of you. In many cases, they aren’t thinking of you as much as you’d like to think, and their opinions don’t assign value to your life even if they do. True happiness comes from the way you feel about the choices you make, and no one else is obligated to agree with them.

Know when to let go of your dreams.

Sometimes, the things you think you wanted end up being completely wrong for you. That’s okay! It’s hard to know what you want until you’ve had a taste of it, so you shouldn’t concern yourself with figuring everything out right away. Sometimes plans change (up until a couple of years ago, I was convinced I wanted to be an architect!) and sometimes they’re just not suited to us. As long as you learn something from the experience, it was worth it.

Not every calling is epic.

This is really hard for me to say, but… Not everyone is destined for internet fame. Not everyone is destined to be a heart surgeon or the next Pope. You can find your calling along the course of your life, and it doesn’t have to be anything fantastic. I’ve known people whose calling was in fast food, or teaching, or housekeeping. It doesn’t mean that they’re not incredible people or that they aren’t destined for greatness – their success comes from embracing the task at hand and doing it in a spectacular way. Be proud of who you are, and stop trying so hard to be someone else.

Focus on the present, but keep an eye on the future.

It’s important that you learn how to live in the now. Not only does over-planning increase the chances of procrastination (and, therefore, basically sabotage your dreams), but it also takes away the smaller joys of day-to-day life. Focus on being the best person you can, today, and start doing the things that will set you up for life.

Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”

– Maya Angelou

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