Sexting has become a huge thing across the board. Once considered primarily an activity for teenagers to get themselves into trouble, millions of people now use sexting as an effective tool for keeping their relationship alive and growing.

What’s the secret? Why does this work? We examined some of the characteristics of typical sexting practices in order to determine why they are so helpful at maintaining a healthy relationship even well into our adult years.

It’s “taboo”

Okay, maybe it’s not really taboo anymore – but we associate it with something that we “shouldn’t” be doing. This is a big chunk of why it became popular with teenagers, and equally important when translated to adults.

Teenagers see it as “taboo” because it’s a sneaky sexual act that they shouldn’t be doing.

Adults can see it as “taboo” because it’s associated with teenagers – and it makes us feel young again.

It’s sexy.

It can be incredibly arousing to hear (or read) the things your partner wants to do to you, and be unable to do those things until later. Having to wait for it can increase the sexual tension, which is actually a good thing in a committed relationship (as long as you’re not tempted to the point of cheating).

There is a great deal of power associated with immediate gratification, but the truth is, the longer you wait for something, the more satisfying it is when you finally get it. This is true for presents, promotions at work, and yes – even sex!

It’s a reminder of your love.

We all know why we love our partners, but it’s nice to get a reminder sometimes. If you’re telling your partner intimate details about what you want from them, it can rekindle a flame that might be otherwise difficult to maintain.

I’m not sure about you, but I have a much easier time expressing myself in writing. This means that, over a text message, I can explain to my partner the type of foreplay that I need that she may be neglecting. She knows that it will be an effective tool, so she doesn’t have to guess at it – after all, I took the time to type it up, so it’s obvious that I want it.

On the other side of the coin, if you’re telling your partner what you want to do to them, it can be reassuring, especially for those of us with self-confidence issues or anxieties. Hearing your partner detail to you the sexy things she wants to do confirms and validates us – it reminds us that she still wants us, even if she’s not right there with us, and that’s a wonderful feeling.

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