Tag Archives: butch lesbian

‘Ned’s Project’, About a Butch Lesbian Trying for a Baby, Wins Big at CineFilipino Awards

The CineFilipino Film Festival “aims to support and develop new cinematic, audience-friendly works of artistic merit by up-and-coming and established filmmakers to help define the human experience through a Filipino perspective.”

As well as being a fantastic chance to showcase Filipino filmmaking talent, awards are also given out to the best of the best fictional and documentary films about Filipino people and this year, a film about a lesbian took home the top prize.

Called Ned’s Project, the film, which stars international renowned actress Angeli Bayani as the titular “Ned”, follows a butch lesbian tattoo artist who decides to have a baby.

Ned’s decision to have a child follows a breakup with her longtime girlfriend Gladys (Dionne Monsanto) as well as the passing of her lesbian friend Max (Lui Manansala) and not wanting to die alone, she makes the choice to become a mother.


The film, which is based on the life of a real person, took home the CineFilipino awards for Best Picture, Best Screenplay, Best Supporting Actress (Max Eigenmann), Best Cinematography and Best Production Design. Bayani also won an award for Best Actress.

Speaking to INQUIRER.net, the actress also says that Ned’s Project is “more than just another LGBT movie”.


Bayani tells the publication that “it has a lot to do with searching for yourself and your place in life. Sometimes people do a lot of crazy things just to be able to get to who they are supposed to be. It’s about Ned’s journey.”

Moreover, Bayani reveals that the real-life Ned had a “hard time” in finding acceptance from her family.

The actress explains that “eventually she will realize she could never learn from  that kind of relationship with someone else if she herself couldn’t reconcile with her own ghosts, her unresolved family issues, her personal struggles.”

For information on screenings of Ned’s Project, you can visit the film’s official Facebook page here.

Butches And Babies

I am the type of woman who loves seeing pictures of happy families. Everyone complains when one of their Facebook friends shares 30 million updates of their little ones, but I eat it up. Hey, just because I’m not ready to start a family of my own doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the cuteness of someone else’s.

But one thing that’s seriously lacking from my Facebook feed is pictures of butch women and their little bundles of joy.

Even though many women are beginning to brace their butch identities, not as many are actively showing their families – there’s this social stigma surrounding being “stereotypically gay” and dealing with kids. It’s one of the lingering examples of self-perpetuated homophobia.

(Admittedly, when I was working in childcare, I felt the need to dress “less gay” while I was working with my kids, and I know I’m not the only one.)

But for those of you looking for your daily dose of lesbian cuteness, Butches and Babies may be just the ticket.

How can you resist this?!

“Jess + Jailen | Jess and her nephew Jailen on his first birthday! Time flies.”


Robyn + Billie + Alysa // “At a friend’s wedding, their photographer captured an amazing family portrait! My wife, Alysa and myself, holding our baby daughter, Billie. It was a beautiful day!”
”Jane + Brady”
”Davina + Novaleigh | My wife wearing our youngest daughter Novaleigh.”


Trevin + Shamae // “We wore the same thing to Thanksgiving dinner. First time meeting my new nephew.” tumblr_nvi1bfr7bI1qms4kto1_1280


Pat + Izzy / “2 year old Izzy and me, post rice-Krispie treat extravaganza.”


Givonna + Tristan // “Can you tell that I forced him to wear this costume?”

While not all of the pictures on the site are butch women with their own children (many are pictures with nieces and nephews) this is a big step in removing the stigmas of being gay and dealing with children. And not only that – they’re insanely cute, too.

Why this is so important

For those of us who are deeply immersed in the lesbian community, we may wonder, “Why is this such a big deal?” But think about this: Outside of your own social circle, how many butch lesbians can you think of who have public family lives? Most likely, the answer is very few or none.

Butch women have long been the subject of social scrutiny. They come with their own set of first impressions before they’ve even said anything, and it often extends to other gay women as well – not just the most naïve of our straight allies.

Even in the gay community, butch lesbian women are treated as cultural stereotypes. It’s assumed that they like sports, and working on cars, and flannel. It’s assumed that they prefer to “give” in the bedroom. It’s assumed that they’re abusive toward their partners. It’s assumed that they really want to be a man.

Why is any of this a fair assessment?

In short, it’s not.

But in order to break free of the stereotypes, we must be willing to show that they’re only stereotypes. Everyone deserves to be treated as an individual, but the ease of latching onto the narrowest of descriptions is hard to break. It’s going to be a long road to true visibility, but luckily Butches and Babies has started to pave the way.

Growing Pains: 25 Problems Only Femme Lesbians Will Understand

Growing pains: 25 problems only femme lesbians will understand.

1. When people say you don’t look gay – Really? Not even when I’m having sex with women? I feel like that’s when I look my gayest.


2. When people confuse your girlfriend for a friend or even worse a sibling.


3. When people tell you you’re too pretty to be gay – because all straight people are attractive.


4. When people (including other lesbians) say you’re just pretending to be gay.


5. When people demand you to prove you’re gay.


6. When guys think they can “turn” you.


7. When other lesbians don’t recognise that you are a lesbian, so you constantly have to drop hints.


8. When people just get so hung up on your sexual orientation, that’s all they want to discuss.


9. When people assume your sexuality is something that’s just for men and not for you or your partner.


10. When people think your dating life is easy.


11. When you can’t tell your friends and family about your relationship problems, because they’ll just tell you to date men.


12. When people assume you only like butch women.


13. When you date butch women and people think it’s because you’re really into guys.


14. When guys ask if they can watch – No, you can’t. No forever.


15. When lesbians assume you’re manicure means you’re a safety hazard in bed.


16. When apparently your label defines you.


17. When you have “the talk” with your family and they point out the fact you wear dresses, which means you can’t be gay.


18. When straight women think you’re hitting on them.


19. Or when straight women think it’s perfectly ok to hit on you.


20. Always having to make the first move in the bar and in the bedroom.


21. When people assume you’re straight by default.


22. When people ask you if you’re sure you like women – like really sure?!


23. When people tell you you’re less of a lesbian because of the way you look.


24. When you have to deal with the stereotype that femme lesbians are passive in bed.


25. When you think you’re not lesbian enough, so feel the need to make changes.


‘Orange Is the New Black’ Lea DeLaria Talks About Butch Visibility

During the Netflix dramedy’s panel on Tuesday at the Television Critics Association press tour, the cast of Orange Is the New Black were on hand to field questions from reporters on the show.

In attendance was Taylor Schilling, Uzo Aduba, Taryn Manning, Selenis Leyva, Lea DeLaria and Natasha Lyonne.


Although the cast were tight-lipped about its fourth season, they did shed a lot of light on the show to-date.

One thing they did discuss was the impact the show had made on LGBT visibility.

The show is considered a force for the LGBT movement. With its diverse characters and raw storytelling, it has been a voice for those who have long been without one.

DeLaria, who plays Boo, said the Netflix series has helped to “win the hearts and minds of people.”


In season 3 we got to see Boo’s backstory. DeLaria expanded on the similarities between her own past and Boo’s, praising OITNB’s writers, and adding that.

I actually had to call [writer] Lauren Morelli and ask if she had read my f—king diary. Butches have a shared life experience and you saw all of it in Boo’s backstory.

She continued.

“My parents actually learned. They actually listened to me. They actually became people who understood that being comfortable in my own skin and having no apologies for who I am was an important thing in this world. And then, they grew to understand me and I grew to understand them, and we love each other very dearly and were very close until the day they both passed.

So that’s the only difference, I think, between Boo’s story and mine. Unfortunately, the story that they showed, Boo’s story, is all too common. Way too common.”

The Netflix star also spoke about impact on the LGBT community:

The politics of the LGBT community has been about gaining our rights, fighting for our rights, achieving our rights. And recently it’s been turned a little bit more towards winning the hearts and minds of people.”

DeLaria added.

A large part of what we’ve done [with regards to] the politics of the LGBT community has been about gaining our rights, fighting for our rights and achieving our rights. Recently, it’s turned more toward winning the hearts and minds of people. I feel very strongly that Orange Is the New Black has been very important in that part of what has happened to us and our community.”

DeLaria and cast-mates are currently shooting Season 4 of Orange.

12 Things Only Butches With Big Boobs Can Understand

I love women with big boobs. But when your a butch woman, its not as fun as we would like to think.

Here are some common issues facing the busty who walk among us.

1. Finding a shirt that fits is impossible.


2. Your boobs get stuck in your armpit when you lay down.


3. Clutching your chest as you pick up speed is a normal thing.


4. Wearing just one sports bra is a joke.


5. People (even those who don’t know you well!) say things to you (even in casual conversation!) like, “Have you ever thought about getting a breast reduction?”


6. You look way-to feminine in a bathing suits.


7. Cross body bag straps are a no.


8. You have to wear a bra.


9. And, Finding a bra that actually fits is practically its own Olympic event.


10. By now, you’re used to all the mean jokes about your bust size.


11. People assume that they’re much less sensitive to jiggling than they actually are.


12. You get to make all the boob jokes you want.


Growing Pains: 25 Problems Only Butch Women Will Understand

25 Problems Only Butch Women Will Understand

1. When people assume because you’re look butch, you’re butch in every way – “Just because I’m wearing a flannel doesn’t mean I own a drill.”


2. When you enter an all female changing room, you’re instantly aware of your lesbian appearance; which causes you not to make eye contact with anyone – awkward.

… hmmmm, or maybe not!


3. When you go into a women’s bathroom, and hear “Excuse me, sir, you’re in the wrong room”.


4. When you want to wear a suit, but are not able to find one that fits.


5. When the shop assistant calls you sir.


6. When your boobs refuse to fit into any shirt.


7. When you try on men’s jeans, and have to deal with the fact you have hips.


8. When you have to buy a new bra.


9. When kids stare and ask you questions like “Are you a girl or a boy?”


10. When old people stare, and then tut disapprovingly. You know their trying figure out if you’re a man or a woman.


11. When you go to a new hairdresser and have to explain how you want your haircut short “like a boys”. Then coming away with haircut that’s more femme than you wanted.


12. When people expect you to always carry the heavy bags.


13. When people expect you to fix things, even tough you have no technical abilities.


14. When your girlfriend teases you for not being able to open jars.


15. When you start to cry and get told “But you’re butch. NO FEELINGS ALLOWED.”


16. When relatives buy you femme clothes, and ask you to at least try them on.


17. When people ask you to wear something a little less “manly”, just to make it easier for others


18. And when you do, people telling you look “good as a girl.”


19. When people expect you to date only femme women.


20. When straight guys assume you want to ogle women with them.


21. When you like something that’s considered “girly” and people are really confused.


22. When gay guys hit on you.


23. When straight women hit on you.


24. When straight guys hit on you.


25. When people assume you’re “the man in the relationship”


Why Date a Butch Instead of a Man? (Video)

So we’ve all heard this before – why would you date a woman who looks like a man? Its cringing every time you hear it, but people living a hetro-normative culture can’t get their heads around this.

Thank god for Moushumi Ghose and Jenoa Harlow, and their fantastic response.

In the above video of The Sex Talk, they discuss gender stereotypes based on hetero-normative culture, our cultures obsession with fitting into neat masculine and feminine roles, masculinity and femininity ebb and flow, and attraction.

Mou and Jen are hosts of The Sex Talk, a web-series focusing on sex education, relationship and dating advice, which hopes to raise awareness about healthier attitudes about sex and sexuality.

Mou is a queer and kink friendly sex therapist, and founder of Los Angeles Sex Therapy, and Jenoa Harlow is a lesbian identified actor and coach.


Season One of Diverse Web Series ‘Dyke Central’ Premieres April 10

You’ve probably noticed that queer women don’t have it so great when it comes to TV-land.

LGBTQ women are consistently bumped off for the sake of another character’s ‘development’, the stories are never as fleshed out as those of their cis, heterosexual peers, and on the rare occasions that LGBTQ women’s’ stories are treated with the same respect, the women that they feature tend to be white and femme.

In walks Dyke Central, which was made as creator Florencia Manovil felt that the queer community has “just constantly struggled with seeing representation of queers that were highly feminine, mostly white…that are pretty. It’s a pretty homogenous representation.” You may have heard of the web series if you’ve been following queer online media for a couple of years as back in April, 2013, the very first episode of Dyke Central was uploaded to YouTube and it was a surefire hit.

The show is a drama/comedy that focuses on the lives of Alex (a black butch lesbian) and Gin (a genderqueer Filipina) who are two best friends trying to live their lives in the emerging queer city of Oakland, California. Their struggles are the same struggles that many queer viewers will face; how do you deal with a relationship you feel trapped in? How do you find a half-decent roommate? How the heck do you stay organised when everything seems to be happening all at once? It’s honest and human with sometimes funny and sometimes awkward situations that plenty of us can relate to.


In addition to Alex and Gin – who are fantastic examples of queer representation in their own right – the cast also features a Latina femme, several trans* characters and characters “from all over the gender expression spectrum”.

Dyke Central is trying to fill a diversity gap but none of these characters ever feel shoehorned in. At the end of the day, many queer people do have queer friendship groups as diverse as this and so in this show no one feels out of place. Everyone just is who they are and that feels completely normal and organic.


The first two episodes of Dyke Central are available for free at KitschMix.TV, but all 10 episodes of Dyke Central‘s first season will be available pay-per-view on DykeCentral.com from April 10, 2015.


Lesbian Pulp Web Series ‘The Chanticleer’ Debuts

If you think lesbian representation is bad now then consider what it was like in the 1950s and 60s where being gay was still an act punishable by law in many places across the world.

As a result of the criminalisation, all things gay got a bad rep and were seen as ‘dirty’ or ‘seedy’, right up their with gangs, drugs and murder.What its reputation did pave the way for, however, is lesbian pulp fiction. ‘Pulp’ fiction was called that as the books were printed on cheap pulp wood paper and as they were purposefully sensational and weren’t respect at all in literary circles, it also meant that they were able to duck the censors.

Much of the content of lesbian fiction wasn’t very good (the books were designed to fulfil straight male fantasies) and usually featured predatory lesbians, voyeurism and even witchcraft. But still, lesbian pulp fiction is an important checkpoint on the way to good representation. And now, as a bit of a throwback to the era and all of the lesbian tropes it introduced, new web series The Chanticleer has just made its debut.


Set in 1955, The Chanticleer features a woman named Edie Chaucer as she comes back to New York to take over her (deceased) father’s bar. As you’re probably hoping, things get real queer real fast when Edie hires a young lesbian named Val who quickly causes controversy due to her dress sense. Y’see, Val dresses in both men and women’s clothing, much to the despair of other gay characters who like to keep it strictly butch or femme only.

Typical gender roles aside though, The Chanticleer packs in both a dramatic and romantic punch. There are plenty of queer women here for you to ship and you’ll be rooting for Edie, Val and co. as they fend off their territory from the likes of corrupt cops who are doing everything in their power to shut Edie’s queer hotspot down. Not that Edie will give up the bar without a fight, mind you.

There will be six episodes of The Chanticleer in total, with two already posted on KitschMix.TV. The next episode will premiere on April 1st, 2015.


Question – What Do Lesbians Do In The Shower? We Have The Answer

Women in the shower are a bit crazy. Lesbians on the other hand are a new type of crazy. So what do lesbian do in the shower?


This video and the answers are too honest and too true. We just love it; another great vlog from our favourite girl, Arielle Scarcella.

15 Secrets Lesbians Don’t Want You to Know

Watch 15 secrets lesbians don’t want you to know from GirlfriendsTV‘s Arielle Scarcella.

Well, these actually aren’t really secrets ‘secrets’, just some useful lesbian insight. But hey – the title got your attention. So sit back and take notes.

Meet Nikki Eason, Creator of the Web Series ‘The Androgynous Model’

Thirty years old, Nikki Eason is doing something different and inspiring for the gay scene. Under the umbrella of her marketing company, Between Us, Eason has launched a web series called ‘The Androgynous Model’.

The series was created to help all people who struggle to be accepted for who they truly are in efforts of being able to offer a platform of change within the industry for androgynous people.

The Androgynous Model web series has gained attention globally in such a short amount of time. The show and I have been featured in the October ’13 weekly issue for Creative Loafing Charlotte, and the March ’14 issue of Curve Magazine. We have also had features on websites such as DAPPERQ, Iambalexander and takinoverradio.com to name a few…

My vision and the series was created to help all people who struggle to be accepted for who they truly are in efforts of being able to offer a platform of change within the industry for androgynous people.

Nikki Eason

Nikki Eason – Behind the Androgynous Model

‘The Same Difference’ Documentary Highlights Deep-Rooted Problems Within the Lesbian Community

When you’re part of a marginalised group, ‘there’s a high chance of discrimination’ is almost inked in small print at the bottom of the sign-up sheet, as is the nature of the thing.

It’s something we must strive to espouse through legal means (in helping change laws, for example) or perhaps through voicing opinions and changing viewpoints or by helping encourage and foster diversity amongst the exclusionary straight, white, boys club ranks that the patriarchy kindly laid out for each and everyone of us, with homophobic and racist foundations to boot.

But what happens when what you’re up against is far bigger than you imagined? What happens when they problems you face are not just external, but when the very people who identify as you do turn their backs against you for arbitrary reasons that for some reason are marginalising you even more than society already does?

For many within the lesbian community this happens regularly, which is why one filmmaker has put together ‘The Same Difference’, a documentary to help point it out.

Depicted in the above teaser trailer The Same Difference plans to cover what are arguably some of the biggest social challenges (e.g things outside of legal recognition and same-gender marriage) facing the lesbian community today – within themselves.

Borked mindsets suggest that despite already not conforming to the socially accepted norm (‘heteronormativity’) some lesbian identified women feel that it’s their onus to force each other into these norms, as if lesbians are square pegs to be fit into round holes. That’s obviously not the case, but why should a group further alienate or segregate itself on account of discriminatory ideals that the group doesn’t prescribe to in the first place?

The examples of this that The Same Difference provides extend to studs being unable to observe traits such as long hair or dresses that are often reserved for femme lesbians. While it also covers the topic of bisexuals within the lesbian community and why some people just don’t understand that a woman who loves another woman should be welcomed into a group of women-loving-women with lady-loving arms rather than being shunned because their place on the Kinsey Scale isn’t quite where some would like it to be.

The Same Difference is inarguably important then, for the topics it sheds much needed light on and you can find more out about it at the link below.