Tag Archives: Cheating

Relationship Dilemmas – We Hate Them, But Here is Some Advice on How to Deal With Them

The world of dating is not for the faint hearted. It is a battle to find and woo your princess amidst all the rot and filth. Here are a couple of relationships dilemmas and how to deal with them.

To leave or not to leave a cheating girlfriend

This one is pretty easy to sort out. If it’s the first time and her excuse is believable, give her a second chance. If it’s not the first time, with or without an excuse get out of there. True cheats always repeat the mistake.

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In love with two people at the same time

This is a tough one. Get the emotions out of the picture. Judge the two of them using a different scale. Their life choices, education, success, focus in life, looks or whatever is important to you. Pick the one who comes out on top.

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To reveal or not to reveal what you like in bed

The fear is that if you reveal what you like she might think you’re a freak. So you bottle it inside. A relationship is a leap of faith. Take it step by step. Find a suitable time to talk about your needs and then worry about the next step. The worst that can happen is for her to say no.

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To tell or not to tell about your past

It depends on which stage of the relationship you are in. If you just met or still in the early stages, don’t give her your life history. On the other hand if you’re getting serious the skeletons in your closet should be gently explained to your future partner. There is nothing as bad as keeping secrets as they tend to come out at the most unfortunate time.

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Get intimate or not

Getting into bed with someone is a huge commitment. Sure there are one night stands and all sorts of arrangements, but its serious business. The rule is not too fast or too early.

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How to trust again after being cheated on

So how do you to trust again after being cheated on? It can be very hurtful when someone you care and trust cheats on you. This is especially true if you never saw it coming. The shock and disappointment you get can be quite traumatizing. How do you learn to trust again after such an ordeal?

Learn from it – Everything has a good and bad side to it. It is how we choose to look at it that differs. Choose to look at your partner’s betrayal as a learning experience. Were you too trusting too fast? Did you open yourself too deep? Were you naïve? Ask constructive questions that will help you in the future.

Be emotional – Let it out. Be angry and even shed some tears.  Keeping it all bottled up in you will only make you feel bitter. Vomit it out by writing your feelings in a letter or a journal. Read the writings when you are ready.

Be patient – Give yourself time to heal. What you have been through has been a shock. You will need some time to heal, regain your focus and balance. Afterwards you can trust again. Do not jump into a new relationship too soon. You are not ready.

Don’t try to understand it – Do not try to rationalize or understand why your partner cheated. They did what they did and you can’t change that. Going over every little detail trying to look for the reason why they cheated is ill advised.

Do not blame yourself – If anyone is to blame, it’s the one who cheated on you. It was not your fault.

Talk to someone – Look for a close friend or family member and share your experience. Be angry, be heartbroken. Talk about how painful it all is and how betrayed you feel. Talking to someone else will ease the bitterness and make the whole episode seem surmountable.

Look forward – You are wiser and more experienced now. You will get over this and the future looks bright. Do not sit and moan for too long. Make plans for the future, look forward to something new, even someone new. It is a new day.

Is She Cheating?

According to Scott Dikkers book ‘You Are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day, Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair.

Could it be? Could your one and only be cheating on you? Here are easy ways you can tell if you are no longer her only one.

Drastic changes to schedule – Her once predictable program is no more. There are now frequent night outs with the girls. All of sudden she has developed an interest in the gym. Working hours have recently become longer extending into the night. All she is really doing is trying to find some alone time with her new woman.

Angry and resentful –  Everything you do or say is never right, she is always lashing out at you even over the smallest things, like an angry lioness chasing the weaker lion away, this is her telling you to back off, she has a new lion king in her life.

Phone and internet – There are calls that she only answers in private, others she rejects if the situation doesn’t allow for privacy. Before she used to leave her phone on the couch while she went to open the door, now she religiously carries it everywhere, even to the bathroom. She does not want that message from her new guy thanking her for the wonderful time yesterday to end up in your hands.

Family and friends – She wants no part in the wonderful times you used to enjoy with your friends. That visit to your folks is now a big no. ’Cheaters remorse’ is eating her and there is no way she is going to take a bite of your mom’s famous chocolate cake!

Intimacy – Since she is getting action from her new love your bed is becoming cold. If your partner is no longer interested in getting intimate with you, be very worried. The few times you get lucky, she has new tricks that she wants to try. Yes, she has been practicing.

Dressing up – Her taste in clothes changes. Just like when the two of you were dating she is now trying to impress someone else. There is a noticeable increase in her wardrobe, check out her lingerie collection. What is that new provocative underwear for, if she is not putting it on for you?

While this is by no means an exhaustive list, it’s a good pointer to some things you should look for. Remember the most important thing is to trust your instincts.