Tag Archives: Coming out

Janelle Monáe Says She Felt ‘Pressure’ To Talk About Her Sexuality

Janelle Monáe has been speaking publicly about her identity for several years, and in 2018 she stated she was a “queer Black woman” who “has been in relationships with both men and women.”

In this months cover interview with Out magazine Monáe explained that she chooses not to talk about her relationships in public, but realised she would have to come out, she said: “I knew because of my art, I would have to talk about these things. So that put more pressure on me.

“The most important thing was me having conversations with my family. It was important that my family be reintroduced, not to the little girl they grew up knowing that they called ‘pumpkin’ or they knew was into this or into that, but they knew who I was today — that they knew that I was a free-ass motherf**ker.”

Monae added: “[Something] I identify with more than ever is the concept of coming in — and people coming into your life — and not coming out. I think there’s so much pressure put on people that can’t afford to announce to the world that, ‘I am queer’ or ‘I’m gay.’

“[I hope people can] talk about their sexuality and being queer, being gay, or being who they are, they can talk about it, not out of fear, but out of love and celebration for who they are.

“If people look at me as that beacon of hope, that’s great, but I always tell people don’t feel any pressure to be me. Take your time.”

Monáe added: “My hope is that we can continue to showcase the spectrum of storytelling around Black voices and around Black human beings, stories that humanize us.

“We can go beyond trauma, showing how powerful we are as Black people to persevere through trauma. I’m ready to see us in the past, the present, the future truly experiencing joy on screen and what it means to just exist.”

At the Oscars earlier this year, she gave an epic shout-out to Black History Month and made clear: “I’m so proud to stand here as a Black queer artist telling stories.”

Monáe explained of her Oscars moment: “[There are] so many people who have graced stages, who are out protesting and who are fighting to have their voices heard. I just happened to have a mic.

“To get on that stage and do anything other than that, would not have felt right to my spirit.”

Monáe added: “My hope is that we can continue to showcase the spectrum of storytelling around Black voices and around Black human beings, stories that humanize us.

“We can go beyond trauma, showing how powerful we are as Black people to persevere through trauma. I’m ready to see us in the past, the present, the future truly experiencing joy on screen and what it means to just exist.”

How Social Media is Changing the Way We Come Out

Is it easier to come out via social media, or is it just more instant?

What a time to be alive – social media makes it possible for us to express our thoughts simultaneously to all of our friends and family, as long as they’re on our social media accounts.

Despite the fact that it discourages any true social interaction, many claim that the social media revolution has made it easier for them to stay in touch with people – which, essentially, is one of the primary purposes of your social life anyway, right?

True, we’re getting that interaction from the other side of a screen, instead of face-to-face, but in some situations, that might be preferred.

For example, in the “real world”, your friends probably won’t know all of your work details, or remember your birthday. It makes sense, of course, because it can be a lot to remember. In the “real world”, you can’t instantly tell everyone about the new job – it would require several phone calls or visits in order to get the word out to everyone.

One of the biggest ways that social media is influencing our social interaction may be how people choose to come out to their friends and family.

In the “old days”, someone would have to work up the courage to tell their family members that they were attracted to the same sex – while these days you can simply change a little box on your profile and everyone will know. Or, you could post a single status update, and bam – everyone will know.

On the other side of the coin, for as long as it’s been an option, there have been people who would break into your account and “come out” for you – through one of these methods.

Often they’re in jest, such as a straight guy posting on his friend’s page that the friend is gay – which is instantly delivered to all of his Facebook friends. Sometimes it’s done more maliciously, as someone who’s not ready to come out can have their account compromised by a jaded ex-lover. (Of course these are just examples, but they are possibilities to consider.)

Do these “involuntary” coming out stories affect the integrity of those who have made the difficult choice in coming out through their social media?

Well, yes, in a way. I still encourage my coming-out friends to come out to the people who matter most, in a face-to-face setting. Sure, it takes a world of courage, but the trade-off is that they are free to share their questions and concerns with you without being in the public eye. They are less likely to feel that it has been thrown in their face (although definitely some will still feel this way, and we can’t change that.)

If you come out strictly through your social media accounts, people may assume it’s a joke. This is especially true if you are in one of the “invisible” categories, such as masculine gay men, feminine lesbians, or bisexuals in any position. It can be seen as a cry for attention, even if that’s not your true intention.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for being “out” on your social networking sites – but you’ve got to make sure that you’re making the right decision for you.

For those who really don’t want to be out to their family, coming out on social media can be an accident waiting to happen. You forget that you’ve listed your sexuality in the open, and then a conservative family member finds your page – and instantly sees everything that you’ve ever posted that backs up your homosexuality, all collected into a tiny box.

Personally, I came out to most of my family before I came out to most of my friends, but I understand that I’m in the minority here.

Your friends and family deserve your honesty – but that doesn’t mean that everything is their business. No one should force you to come out, and if you aren’t ready to come out, leaving those portions of your social media profiles “private” or “hidden” may be a good way to safeguard yourself. I’d love to say that we’re past that point in our society where we need to hide our sexuality – but sometimes that’s simply not the case.

For those who don’t necessarily want to “hide”, but don’t have the courage to come out completely in the open, social media can actually be a helpful tool. The pseudo-anonymity of the online world can allow us to be whoever we want to be – even if that person is just someone we’re afraid to admit we really are.

In these cases, your social media account could be a helpful first step to you. Come out there first, quietly – maybe just change your “Who I’m Interested In” section and go from there. Don’t make a big deal out of it, because most people won’t see it as a big deal – but those who do will find it as a segue to open the conversation.

If you’re scared to bring it up, allowing someone else to start the conversation can be a lifesaver.

They might not react how you want them to – and you can’t force them to. If you were to expect that they accept you as you are, essentially you’re not accepting them as they are – which is just as bad. Sure, you might think that they’re wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with being hurt by their reaction. But you can’t force them to react as you want.

All in all, I think that the claims against social networking are bitter. It might be taking away from our face-to-face communication, but in many ways it can help us to be more open people. Without social networking and the internet, we wouldn’t be able to voice our opinions to millions of people every day – and that really is a special feeling for most of us.

Don’t let social media be the only social life you have, and don’t use it as a crutch to stay in the closet. Facebook works best when you use it as a tool for communication rather than a substitute for it. Just make sure that you’re being true to yourself and honoring your personal needs first.

If Your Now Out At Work You Could Be Underperforming In Your Job, New Study Says

New study says LGBTQI employees who aren’t out at work suffer professionally.

According to a new report, LGBTI employees who aren’t out at work suffer professionally.

Produced by the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (RMIT) and sponsored by Deloitte, the Out at Work report surveyed 1,600 LGBTI employees.

It found only 32% of these employees were out to all of their colleagues at work.

The report also found not being out at work compromises wellbeing and decreases productivity.

Workers who were not out to everyone at work were almost 50% less satisfied with their job compared to colleagues who were out to everyone.

They were also twice as likely to be ‘downhearted’ at work.

Diversity Council of Australia CEO Lisa Annese believes the results of the report prove being out, proud and open at work is essential.

“A large proportion of LGBTIQ+ employees are still not comfortable being themselves at work. And yet hiding who they are can be costly not only to their own wellbeing, but also to the organizations they work for.

This report comprehensively quantifies the business case for creating LGBTIQ+ inclusive workplaces in Australia.

I urge employers to take a good look at what they can do to take advantage of the benefits; not only for their LGBTIQ+ employees, but for their organization as a whole.”

The report also found LGBTI employees who are out to everyone at work are:

  • 50% more likely to innovate than workers who are not out to everyone.
  • 35% more likely to work highly effectively in their team.
  • 28% more likely to provide excellent customer/client service.

Lead researcher Dr Raymond Trau believes people should just whether or not to come out on a case by case basis.

He said:

“Many people realise coming out at work is complex but don’t always realise that it’s not a one-off event.

Even LGBTIQ+ workers who are very comfortable with their identity and have come out many times still need to think twice when they work in a job or occupation that is homophobic, transphobic or not LGBTIQ+ inclusive.

This explains why our findings still show that coming out remains a problem in the workplace.”

Ellen DeGeneres Recalls Her Decision To Come Out

It’s been 20 years since Ellen DeGeneres announced she was gay on national television.

However, in a recent interview with TIME magazine, the now hugely successful TV host, reflected on her coming out, and how a string of homophobic performers nearly ended her career.

DeGeneres told the magazine in a short video clip celebrating her contributions as a woman;

I was warned by my publicist at the time — everybody said, ‘We could destroy this whole show.’ But, you know, it’s my life.”

DeGeneres explained that she wasn’t trying to be political in any way when she decided to share the news.

I wasn’t trying to be an activist. When I did, it just made sense that the character would come out, and it was the greatest thing that happened because it sent me on a different trajectory, and here I am now and there’s no secrets. I’m not ashamed of anything.”

She also admitted that even before coming out, she had a hard time getting accepted in the male-dominated world of stand-up comedy.

DeGeneres also described a moment where she didn’t think she would ever return to comedy;

There was a night in particular that there were two guys on before me and their stuff was very homophobic – slamming women in every kind of way.

And no one knew that I was gay necessarily, it was just a very angry testosterone-filled crowd by the time I got on stage. The entire front row of guys got up and turned their chairs around and faced the audience.

That was a night that I thought I would never do comedy again. And I don’t know where those guys are now, but they didn’t get the Medal of Freedom.”

Last year, DeGeneres received the Medal of Freedom from President Barack Obama in an emotional ceremony for her bravery and contributions to the community.

This Touching Photo Series Shares Captures People’s Personal Stories Of Coming Out

Alejandro Ibarra photography project pairs photos of LGBTQ individuals with their personal stories of coming out.

Ibarra says he was inspired to start the series after a friend told him how he came out to his family.

Even though [my friend’s coming out experience] was very different from mine, I really related to it: to him, his emotions, his concerns. It was almost like it had happened to me. I knew then that it would have the same effect on pretty much most of the community because, whatever you happen to identify as ― this is one thing we all have in common.”

Ibarra says that no matter how someone identifies or what their experience was like, “coming out” is a universal rite of passage that all LGBTQ people who open up about their sexuality or gender identity share.

Talking to HuffPost Ibarra explained that no matter how someone identifies or what their experience was like, “coming out” is a universal rite of passage that all LGBTQ people who open up about their sexuality or gender identity share.

Even though [my friend’s coming out experience] was very different from mine, I really related to it: to him, his emotions, his concerns. It was almost like it had happened to me. I knew then that it would have the same effect on pretty much most of the community because, whatever you happen to identify as ― this is one thing we all have in common.”

As a creative pursuit, Ibarra wants Coming Out Stories to be both a testament of the power of storytelling and also perhaps a way to relieve some anxiety for LGBTQ people that may still be in the closet.

Check out more of the Coming Out Stories project below and head to Ibarra’s website to see more of his work.

Lauren Jauregui Discusses Life After Coming Out As Bi: ‘It’s Really Changed Me As A Person’

Last year, Lauren Jauregui came out in an epic letter to Donald Trump and his supporters after he was elected as the President of the United States.

In her letter, Jauregui said,

I am a bisexual Cuban-American woman and I am so proud of it. It’s hard to accept yourself when you live in a world where nobody is like you,”

Since Lauren has come out the singer says she couldn’t be happier with the reactions and support she has received from her parents and her fans across the world.

In a new interview, Jauregui adds

Coming into my own and being comfortable with myself really changed me as a person. And made me more confident and vibrant.”

She also explains that her parents are “such loving, supportive people, they just love me and who I am”.

A bunch of my fans have come up to me and said, ‘because of you and because you came out, I have finally begun to accept myself’.

That is infinitely incredible for me. I didn’t expect to get to the point where I would own to it within myself.”

Jauregui recently collaborated with singer Halsey on a same-sex love song, Strangers, which is also on Halsey’s latest album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom.

‘Roseanne’ Reboot Confirmed for ABC With The Original Cast Returning Too

They were one of America’s favourite families in the late 1980s and ’90s – with their affectionate bickering, everyday crises, growing pains and belly laughs beamed into more than 20 million homes in the US.

Now the Conners are coming back, more than 20 years after the last episode of Roseanne was aired.

This week, ABC announced that they’ll be rebooting classic sitcom starring Roseanne Barr and John Goodman, with eight new episodes.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Sara Gilbert – who is currently a co-host of the CBS daytime show The Talk – spearheaded the revival.

Earlier this year, Gilbert had Goodman on the talk show as a guest and the two reprised their characters of Dan and Darlene Conner in a comedy bit.

Also returning will be Laurie Metcalf (Jackie), Michael Fishman (D.J.) and Lecy Goranson (Becky) are all set to return.

Sarah Chalke played the role of Becky after Goranson left the show. She will also return but in a different role.


Roseanne ran on ABC from 1998-97 and had several gay characters including Roseanne’s friend Nancy (Sandra Bernhard) and her former boss Leon (Martin Mull) who married his boyfriend Scott (Fred Willard) in a 1995 episode.

A year earlier, Roseanne had visited a gay bar with Nancy and was kissed on the lips by guest star Mariel Hemingway.

20 Years Later And Darlene Finally ‘Comes Out’ In Mini ‘Roseanne’ Reunion

A mini Roseanne reunion delighted the audience of The Talk, with John Goodman and Sara Gilbert reprising their roles as Dan and Darlene Conner some 20 years after the beloved show left the air.

“So, uh, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for awhile now,” Gilbert, as Darlene, says as the pair watch a basketball game.

“What’s that, kiddo?” Goodman, as Dan, asks.

“God, I don’t know how to say this… I’m a talk show host,” she spills.

“Well, wow. As long as you’re happy, me and your mom will support ya,” he responds. “You know, for a minute there I thought you were gonna tell me you were gay.”

“Let’s save something for halftime,” she says.

Goodman & Gilbert in mini Roseanne reunion after 20 years on The Talk.

Gilbert came out as a lesbian in 2010, in the lead up to launching The Talk. She married music producer and musician Linda Perry in 2014, with whom she has a son. Gilbert also has two children with former partner Allison Adler.


Should You Come Out At Work?

Coming out is hard. Your parents might disown you. Your friends might shun you. Your priest might send you to reparative therapy.

And, of course, you might get fired.

Even if your family, friends and rabbi are completely okay with your sexuality, your boss might not be as forgiving. And it’s not always easy to leave the job of your dreams.

The harsh statistics:

The Human Rights Campaign found that 62% of openly LGBT college graduates hurried right back into the closest after accepting their first job.

And for good reason. Anglia Ruskin University did a study that, depressingly, found that lesbians are 5% less likely to get offered a job interview than straight women with the same skills. If you could increase your job prospects by 5% by hiding your crush on Samira Wiley, why wouldn’t you?

Bisexual women don’t get off the hook any easier. A recent study showed that bisexual women earn less than their straight counterparts. How much less? From 7% to 28%. Yes, coming out as bisexual could automatically cut your paycheck by more than a quarter because bisexual people are considered “dishonest.”

In the U.S., 28 states still allow employers to fire employees for being gay. Yes, that’s more than half, and with Trump on the throne that number is likely to rise. Ten percent of lesbian, gay and bi workers have been fired from their jobs in last five years. Read more about those studies here.

So should you come out?

Coming out is a personal choice. There’s no right time or wrong time, and even the safest of situations could turn dangerous at any moment. But repressing yourself is arguably just as dangerous to your mental health. So should you come out?

Ask yourself a few questions first:

Have your colleagues or your employer expressed homophobic or transphobic sentiments out loud?

Do you think your work environment would turn hostile if you came out?

Is this job your only possible source of financial security?

If you don’t have a backup plan, then think about setting something up, whether that’s lining up another job, planning to live on your partner’s income or moving back in with your parents. Have a plan B in case of the worst.

But the most important question of all is this:

Do you want to come out?

Don’t feel pressured to come out in the name of LGBT rights, or because you feel like you have a responsibility to be yourself. Your responsibility is to prioritize your mental health. And if you don’t want to come out, then don’t.

If you do, then check out the Human Rights Campaign’s resources on coming out while at work.

Netflix’s New Sitcom ‘One Day at a Time’ Gets It Right With Coming Out Story

This year, Netflix has rebooted the classic Norman Lear sitcom One Day at a Time.

The 13-episode first season focuses on three generations of the Cuban-American Alvarez family: mother Penelope (Justina Machado), grandmother Lydia (Rita Moreno), kids Elena and Alex (Isabella Gomez and Marcel Ruiz), plus hangers-on like Penelope’s boss, Dr. Berkowitz (Stephen Tobolowsky) and their landlord Schneider (Todd Grinnell).


In the same vein as Lear’s classic sitcoms (All in the Family, Maude, The Jeffersons, Good Times, Sanford & Sons, and the original One Day at a Time), the reboot balances laughter with an approachable social commentary.

The first season explores sexism, immigration, veteran’s rights, and has an honest coming out story that takes centre stage.

Penelope’s 15-year-old daughter Elena is a headstrong star student who loves railing against the patriarchy, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and starting composting programs at her high school.

Over the course of the first season, Elena gradually comes out to her family.

In episode seven (Hold, Please) we learn that Elena likes girls, but she isn’t sure how to tell anyone in her life about her sexuality. When she finally does in the 10th episode (Sex Talk) it’s a beautiful moment of self-acceptance and joy that she can share her identity with her mom.

While coming out stories on television or film are often a best or worst case scenario, Elena’s coming out process is more realistic.

Her family doesn’t immediately know all the right things to say or do, but they try. When she does deal with rejection from a family member, she’s confident enough in herself to cope.

Stories about queer women, much less queer teens of colour, are still rare on TV. Even after being introduced, many LGBTQ women characters are shunted to the side or killed off.

Elena’s story is, unfortunately, still the exception on TV. She’s the kind of character of which we need to see more.

Bex Taylor-Klaus Is ‘V Gay’!

The Scream actress just came out to the rest of the internet in a very casual tweet Wednesday night, followed by a YouNow stream addressing further questions.

She has fueled rumors ever since starring in television series in which she portrays all queer characters – The Killing, Arrow, Scream, and House of Lies.

I have this thing where I value honesty, and I realized that I have not been honest with both myself and with all of you.”

When asked what she felt leading up to the very exciting day, she says,

Part of why I’m coming out now is because there’s so much hate and fear in and around the LGBT community right now and it’s important for us not to halt progress out of fear.”

Taylor-Klaus also reveals the real reason she’s coming out this way, “So I have a chance to interact with those of you who feel that way and who kind of want to know more.”

The star recalled coming out to her family – which she chose not to discuss because “it involves uncomfortable sex jokes” – and how fans have been messaging her

over the years about how it’s been hard for them to come to terms within themselves, not even yet talking about their family or how to come out to [family] and friends. It’s just the first step is within yourself and for some people, that’s hard to do.”

Bex received an overwhelming amount of support from fans and people of the industry alike not long after her stream went off air, thanking them on twitter: “Thank you for all the support since last night – truly means a lot!”

Honestly, we’re just really proud of her.

Lauren Jauregui Comes Out With A Bang

With the heat of post-election blues, the youth all over the world is trying to speak up and make an impact – assuring any person who is part of the minority that everything will be alright, so long as we stick together.

Just this weekend, Fifth Harmony singer Lauren made her mark.

The 20-year-old came out as bisexual in a very powerful open letter to the supporters of the president elect, and we couldn’t be more proud.

I am a bisexual Cuban-American woman and I am so proud of it. I am proud to be part of a community that only projects love and education and the support of one another.”

This is right after an intimate picture of the star kissing another girl – who’s thought to be Lucy Vives – made rounds on the internet.

Although, addressing the issue, Lauren states in a tweet, “nopee(: I wrote it this morning when I saw who appointed as attorney general..before rehearsals” – in reference to when the letter was penned.

The picture is said to be taken on a wedding just Friday. Not long after, the hashtag LongLoveLauren trended worldwide on twitter as a sign of support from fans.

No further statements were given by either side, and it isn’t clear whether there was anything romantic behind said kiss.

The singer’s message paved way for discussions about the current state of our society and the implications, effects, and consequences of what just occurred not only to the United States, but the world in its entirety.

It also encouraged a lot more people to stand up for themselves and fight for what they believe in.

If I could tell every Trump supporter two things, it would be to travel and read a history book. Look beyond yourselves, look at how petty the morals you uphold seem when you realize we are not the only ones. Realize that your white skin is the result of immigration from Europe, that the only true “Americans” are Native Americans, who are indigenous people that inhabited this land before these conquerors from other countries (England, France, Italy, Spain) wiped them out almost entirely. None of us belong here but all of us deserve the right to feel safe and live our lives in peace.

To not have to worry about potentially dying, or being electro-shocked, or beaten, or raped, or emotionally abused because our existence and/or choices for ourselves upset someone else. This is the world Trump is fostering. This is the division that has risen since the beginning of the campaign. We are not America indivisible any longer, we are united on two separate sides; Love and Hatred. We are not “whining” about our presidential choice losing, we are screaming battle cries against those whose political and personal agendas threaten our lives and sanity. We are making sure you hear us, no matter how much it bothers you, we EXIST.”

Sam Fox Opens Up About Her Sexuality: “I Would Say I Prefer To Be With Women”

Sam Fox has admitted she has been frightened to label her sexuality.

The former glamour model turned singer and reality star, come-out publicly back in 2003, when she declared she was in love with her then partner, Myra Stratton.

The couple were together over a decade, but sadly Stratton passed away in 2015 of cancer, leaving Fox devastated.


Speaking on British TV show Loose Women, she revealed that her perception of her sexuality has shifted, as she has entered another relationship with a woman.

I was a bit scared. People in Britain do know about it, and on Big Brother I talked about it. It was a good chance to speak about it in my own words.

I did sit on the fence a little bit. I said I don’t believe in labels. For a long time I was a bit scared, because I did feel maybe – I’ve got of male fans and female fans too – and I was scared I would lose that fanbase.”


Asked if she finds it hard to say ‘I am gay’, she added:

A little bit, because it is a label isn’t it. I always believe in love, you can’t help who you fall in love with, but I can’t really see myself ever marrying a guy.”

She was also asked if she was worried it would be bad for business, she said: “Yes.”

The fact I was with Myra for 16 years and now I am in love again with another woman. It’s just I would say I prefer to be with women. It’s lovely being in love, don’t ever forget that. Be true to yourself.”

Ellen DeGeneres Recalls Her ‘Rock Bottom’ After Coming Out

Ellen DeGeneres made history when she came out publicly 1997 on the cover of Time magazine, but in doing so she found her career suffered.


Her hit her ABC sitcom was cancelled a year later, and her movie career also stalled after starring in the dismally-reviewed (and prophetically-titled) romantic comedy Mr. Wrong, which bombed at the box office in 1996.

Talking to the annual Out 100 issue, she recalls

I was the punch line of lots of jokes. I laughed at some, but I realized there’s somebody on the other side of them. It’s cruel. I’ve never liked mean comedy, but that became even more important to me after I was the brunt of it.”

But luckily for us, the 28-time Emmy winner went on to land her own daytime talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which boosted her self-esteem.

Before this show, I had a lot of insecurity. I wasn’t sure if I was going to work again, and although I was out, I was still trying to alter myself — not dressing the way I wanted to dress or wearing my hair the way I wanted to. I slowly gained the confidence to be authentic, and what I’ve learned about other people is that they strive to be authentic, too.

So whether they fully support me, love my lifestyle, or love that I’m married to a woman, I think they like that authenticity, and they’re drawn to it.” At the time, the media response reaffirmed DeGeneres’s comedic philosophy.


DeGeneres continued:

And what I’ve learned about other people is that they strive to be authentic, too. So whether they fully support me, love my lifestyle, or love that I’m married to a woman, I think they like that authenticity, and they’re drawn to it.”

Why I Have Given Up On Coming Out

Growing up gay, and coming out always seemed to be the most honourable and logical next step in being open and comfortable with my own sexuality.

But, as soon as I got to University, I stopped coming out. What changed?

The teen years and the closet

Being a young lesbian in a small town in Portugal, and coming out never seemed that big of a deal. I wasn’t seen as gay or straight, I was simply Carol.

As time passed, and with LGBTQ rights being more openly discussed, coming out became a necessity and not a luxury.

But what is the point of coming out? To me, it was a rather foreign concept, as was for most of my friends and family. As I saw it, coming out has a sort of magical effect: my loved ones went from discussing gay rights to discussing my rights.

The true realisation that when they opposed gay marriage or adoption by same sex couples, they weren’t just denying these experiences to some unknown gay person, but directly denying it to me: their friend, their daughter, their peer.

And so, I came out. Step by step I broke the news to friends, then my sister, then, much later, my mom. And I have been extremely fortunate in all the reactions I got so far, with nothing but love and support from those closer to me.

Am I still in the closet if I don’t come out?

As I moved to a foreign country and started a new chapter of my life as University student, something changed. I stopped coming out altogether.

Not out of shame or fear of rejection, simply because I didn’t feel the need to do so anymore. I cut my hair short, didn’t hold back about my sexuality, and decided to live my life as an open book. If the military had “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, I have “If they ask, just tell”.

And it works for me! Not making a big deal out of coming-out, has definitely helped me feel like I belong, while still being openly gay.

But there was a key step between these two outlooks on coming out; coming out to my mom. I still remember how nervous I was, handing herthe letter that would, without a doubt, change our relationship. As I anxiously saw her finish reading it, putting the letter down, and calmly saying “I know. And I love you.”

I just knew that my need to come out was finally put to rest.

But what’s next?

As University comes to an end, and the job hunt starts, I have wondered how will my views on coming out change? Will I disclose my sexuality to my co-workers and boss? Or will I stay quiet until asked?

I am excited to find out and, frankly, slightly terrified.

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Miley Cyrus Talks Growing Up Pansexual: “I Always Hated the Word Bisexual”

Cyrus first came out as pansexual just over a year ago, expressing the fluid nature of her sexuality. Since then, she has be incredible out-spoken about her struggle to come to terms with her sexuality

In a recent interview with Variety magazine, Cyrus said she become more aware of her sexual orientation between the age of 10 and 12 – just before she started filming Hannah Montana.

The pop singer also described the moment she realised she was pansexual. and the realisation did not fit into one specific gender, explaining she had always felt equally aligned with both genders.

I didn’t understand my own gender and my own sexuality. I always hated the word ‘bisexual’ because that’s even putting me in a box”

She continued

I don’t ever think about someone being a boy or someone being a girl. Also, my nipple pasties and shit never felt sexualised to me. My eyes started opening in the fifth or sixth grade. My first relationship in my life was with a chick.”


Cyrus explained she first figured out she was pansexual when she realised what it meant.

I went to the LGBTQ centre here in LA. And I started hearing these stories. I saw one human in particular who didn’t identify as male or female. Looking at them, they were both: beautiful and sexy and tough but vulnerable and feminine but masculine. And I related to that person more than I related to anyone in my life.”

Cyrus said she had felt involved in the LGBTQ community for the entirety of her life.

Even though I may seem very different, people may not see me as neutral as I feel. But I feel very neutral. I think that was the first gender-neutral person I’d ever met. Once I understood my gender more, which was unassigned, then I understood my sexuality more. I was like, ‘Oh – that’s why I don’t feel straight and I don’t feel gay. It’s because I’m not.’”

She also spoke of growing up in a deeply religious family in the deep South in Franklin, Tennessee, saying that despite the fact her parents didn’t understand her sexuality straight away, she knew they would learn to.

Cyrus explained that her mum had since apologised for not being more immediately understanding about her sexuality.

On The Voice this young girl started crying when she left, because I’m the reason she came out. My mom started crying. She was like, “I’m so sorry about the way I was when you were that age and coming out.” She never understood me until she saw that girl who couldn’t be herself. It was very cool.”

Cyrus first came out as pansexual just over a year ago, expressing the fluid nature of her sexuality.

Bella Thorne Says She Feels “Free” Since Coming Out As Bisexual

In August, the former Disney star, Bella Thorne shared a Snapchat video showing her playfully kissing another woman on the lips.

Almost immediately, fans started asking her about her sexuality on Twitter, and Thorne confirmed she was bisexual.

Since then, she has done her part to increase bisexual visibility by living open and honestly, and this past Bisexual Visibility Day shared a touching message of love and encouragement to her fans as about embracing your true self.

Happy Bisexual Visibility Day! My best friend Bella and I went camping and made life time memories. Not only today but all days we should celebrate acceptance of others. Be who you want to be and it will take you to being your happiest self! #bivisibilityday.”


The actress shared many posts throughout the week to dispel myths about the bisexual experience ― like the idea those who identify as bi are “indecisive” or “confused.” She also encouraged her followers to “go kiss someone.”

Thorne also took over Galore magazine’s Snapchat feed for the day, where she was seen sharing a couple quick pecks with her female friends and urging her fans to embrace their sexuality.


Bella Thorne Addresses The Misconception About Bisexuality

When fans questioned Bella Thorne’s sexuality after she posted Snapchats kissing her best friend Bella Pendergast back in August, she took the opportunity to bravely come out as bisexual (even though the two were just being friendly.)

Though the response to her coming out was overwhelmingly positive, she has continued to receive some comments from fans who are sceptical.

A Twitter user who goes by The Hornet tweeted at Thorne, asking how she really knows she’s bisexual if she hasn’t been sexually active with a female.

Thorne was quick to shut down the questioning by responding, “I didn’t say I hadn’t?”.

Thorne’s answer is a big reminder that we don’t have access to everyone’s personal lives, nor do we need it.

If someone identifies as bisexual, it’s no one’s place to ask if they’ve experienced same-sex sexual contact.

Also, having same-sex experience, or not having it, does not really say anything about someone’s identity.



6 Simple Steps To Coming Out Later In Life

Coming out of the closet usually isn’t a one-step process; it takes a lot of self-discovery and planning to make sure everything goes smoothly. Of course, there’s never a guarantee that things are going to go smoothly, but women who come out later in life seem to have even more apprehensions.

It’s never easy to be the “late bloomer”. Humans are competitive by nature, so when someone else is seen further ahead of us, we become frustrated, and sometimes even depressed. When everyone else in our age group has already done the things we want to do, we start to feel like children (and that’s never fun). Truthfully, though, when it comes to coming out of the closet… You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. The process has already been well defined by every brave woman who’s gone before you.

Find your support group first.

I’m not necessarily talking about a therapy support group (although that might be the tribe for you). I’m just talking about a group of people who support you, and who you already know have favorable opinions of the queer community (or, at least their opinions aren’t negative). Ideally, at least a few of those people should be in the LGBT community, too – that way, you can benefit from their experiences and their advice.

Your support group is going to be filled with the people who it would be easy to come out to. In time, as you come out to people, you’ll get more people in your support group. This is a good thing. Make sure you don’t shut yourself off from your local LGBT community – you still have a lot to learn from other people who have been in similar situations. You can even practice your “coming out speech” with them, if you’re concerned with that.

Having a support group isn’t going to magically fix everything, but it makes it a lot easier when you have a solid foundation.

Be proud of yourself.

Coming out takes a lot of courage, no matter how old and life-experienced you are when it happens. In fact, in some ways it’s harder the further along in life you are, because people have had more time to form their expectations about you. But your simple act of reading this article shows that you are strong and confident about who you are – and that means so much more than the opinions and expectations of others.

Now, something that’s often hard to hear in life: You have to start before you’re ready. The truth is, you’ll never be ready, and if you keep waiting until you know everything there is to know first… Well, I’m sorry to say, but you never will know everything. It’s impossible.

Your journey has just begun, but that’s the hardest part.

Take things at a pace that works for you.

If you want to take things slow, take things slow. No one “needs” to know what you have to tell them, even if they think they “deserve” to know. You’re going to learn as you go. There really isn’t a definitive “how-to” guide out there because there are so many right ways to do things. There is no one-size-fits-all plan and no one really knows what they’re doing until after they’ve done it.

Likewise, though, if you want to take things quickly, take things quickly! Your confidence and courage is inspiring, and you shouldn’t let anyone else dull that fire. You aren’t coming out to make other people more at ease, so in all honesty it doesn’t really matter if you being gay makes them uncomfortable. We come out to put ourselves at ease and make ourselves more comfortable.

This is your journey, not theirs.

Be prepared for some uncomfortable conversations.

For some unknown reason, when someone comes out, other people see it as an open invitation to ask intrusive questions. Some people will even make off-handed remarks that can be really surprising, if you’ve never discussed those topics before. You can’t always predict who’s going to be an ally and who’s going to be a homophobe, but please try to judge whether or not it would be unsafe for you to come out before you do.

I strongly encourage you to practice some responses to the most common questions, like these thirteen or these ten things. However, it’s also important to realize that you don’t owe anyone an answer simply because they asked. You’re in charge of what information they know about you. (Oh, and try not to take the questions too personally – they’re usually coming from a harmless, ignorant place.)

When the questions start to dig too deep, a polite reminder about personal boundaries may be necessary.

You get to decide your boundaries.

You are not required to indulge in conversation with bigots – even if those bigots are related to you. When people start asking personal questions or making rude statements, it’s best to disarm them. This is one of the reasons we come out in the first place – so that others can’t use our orientation against us. (I mean, if it’s not a secret, they can’t spill the secret, right?)

If being out at work or around family is risky, it’s completely okay to keep your orientation secret within those groups. We make a big fuss about coming out, but no one has the right to know. You come out for yourself. You don’t have to know all the answers, and neither do they.

No one knows everything about everything, even you.

Don’t take it too seriously.

Lastly, don’t forget that your sexuality is – at most – just a piece of who you are. We’re a bunch of neurotic monkeys trying to act like we’ve got our shit together – and I don’t think I know a single person who stopped learning new things about themselves. Your “new thing” just happens to be that you’re into women – but that doesn’t mean that everything before it was fake. (Unless, of course, it was – but only you can figure that one out.)

For women who come out later in life, it’s hard to start putting your own needs first. You’re so used to taking care of others that you don’t really know how to take care of yourself. It’s my biggest wish for you that you don’t stop at just coming out of the closet – that you use this same type of courage to learn even more about yourself.

This is only the beginning – there is still so much wonder ahead of you.

How to Come Out to Your Religious Parents

Coming out to your parents can be tough – and it’s especially tough if their strict religious beliefs don’t match up with who you are. But lying to them for the rest of your life just isn’t feasible, and it’s usually better to tell them than to let them find out.

That said, you need to ask yourself a very important question before deciding to make the big reveal:

Will I be okay if everything goes wrong?

If your parents throw you out of the house or stop paying your college tuition, do you have a plan? Do you have an emotional support system if they don’t accept you? Anything can happen, so unfortunately you have to prepare for the worst.

Choose the right time to tell them.

In movies, people often come out to their entire families with a grand toast on Turkey Day – or Turkey Gay – but I don’t recommend that.

Come out to your most open-minded family members first. If you have a cool, nonjudgmental cousin, call her up and see how she reacts; she’ll also be able to support you when you come out to the rest of your family. Afterward, tell your parents in private.

Keep it about love.

For a lot of religious parents, it’s not really the same-sex love that upsets them, it’s the same-sex sexual relations. Conversations about homosexuality often devolve into tirades about “unnatural acts” and “sodomy.”

When you’re coming out to them, focus on the fact that you experience romantic feelings for women. Describe how women make you feel safe, secure and loved in a way that men never have and never will. It might not convince them to be pro-gay activists, but it might keep them from having heart attacks.

Keep the faith.

Make sure your parents know that being a lesbian doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve become an atheist (if you have, that’s a conversation for a later date). If they seem receptive to it, offer your own interpretations of scripture so that they understand a different perspective.

Resources for Christians

Resources for Muslims

Resources for Jews

Give them time.

Your parents might throw you out, and then realize later that they’ve made a huge mistake.

They might accept you at first, but become upset later.

They might be reserved, insisting that you’re going through a phase – or worse, that you’ve never said anything at all.

Unfortunately, for many religious parents, coming to terms with an LGBT child is a process that might take years.

But at the end of the day, they do love you, even if they’re not always good at showing it. And whether they accept you right away or not, you’ll eventually be glad that you told them the truth.

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‘Eat, Pray, Love’ Author Announces She Is In Love With A Woman: “I Love Her, And She Loves Me”

Eat Pray Love author Elizabeth Gilbert has announced that her marriage with her husband, Jose Nunes – who features in two of her books – ended this year after she entered into a romantic same-sex relationship with her best friend, the Syrian-born author Rayya Elias, who was recently diagnosed with incurable pancreatic and liver cancer.

Gilbert says in post on Facebook this week, that the horrible diagnosis actually helped Gilbert realise her true feelings towards her longtime best friend and loyal companion.

In the moment I first learned of Rayya’s diagnosis, a trap door opened at the bottom of my heart (a trap door I didn’t even know was there) and my entire existence fell straight through that door. From that moment forward, everything became about HER. I cancelled everything in my life that could be cancelled, and I went straight to her side, where I have been ever since.


Death — or the prospect of death — has a way of clearing away everything that is not real, and in that space of stark and utter realness, I was faced with this truth: I do not merely love Rayya; I am in love with Rayya. And I have no more time for denying that truth. The thought of someday sitting in a hospital room with her, holding her hand and watching her slide away, without ever having let her (or myself!) know the extent of my true feelings for her…well, that thought was unthinkable.”

Gilbert confirmed that her relationship with Elias had brought about the end of her marriage to Nunes but asked for privacy and respect in the wake of her announcement.


She and Elias had decided to speak publicly about their relationship “for the sake of our own integrity”.

Rayya and I are together. I love her, and she loves me. I’m walking through this cancer journey with her, not only as her friend, but as her partner. I am exactly where I need to be – the only place I can be.”

How Can I Be Sure I’m A Lesbian (And Not Just Sexually Curious)?

If you’re still a little confused about your sexuality, check out some of these indicators.

OK, we aren’t going to go on about the obvious and say, ‘the first clue is you like women.’ Of course it is, but that doesn’t necessarily make you gay. It could mean you are bisexual or you simply recognize an attractive woman when you see one. Even Lesbians think some men are good looking!

So how do you really know if you are a lesbian?

You’re fantasizing about women

Sometimes even straight women fantasize about having sex with a woman. That could mean you are simply curious, bisexual, or even just horny. But if your whole sexual fantasy life involves touching, being with or having sex with another woman there is a very good chance you are a lesbian.

You’re experimenting with women

Believe it or not a lot of women find their sexuality can be fluid and having sex or experimenting with women doesn’t always mean you are a lesbian. You could just be bisexual or even just curious, but if you have been having sex or experimenting with women and only women for a period of time this is a good indicator that you are a lesbian.

You’re questioning

Sometimes even asking yourself if something is possible can be an indication that you know the answer deep down. If you find that you are googling ‘how do I know if I’m a Lesbian’ or ‘I think I might be a lesbian’ then the chances are you could well be and are just seeking a little bit of reassurance.

You’re looking at romantic comedies in a different way

Have you noticed recently when watching romcoms that rather than feel happy when guy ends up with gal you wish she had realised just how sexy and super cool her best friend is? Our subconscious often makes us look at things in the way we’d like them to turn out if it was us in the same situation so perhaps you should trust in yourself a little bit more.

You’re checking out women

Do you find yourself looking at attractive women on the street or develop crushes on female film or TV stars? Do you wonder what it might be like to kiss her, or what she might look like naked? Ask yourself if you do this with men? If you don’t then you might be a lesbian.

You feel more comfortable with the Lesbian community

If you find that you feel quite at home surrounded by lesbians and you feel you are able to be yourself and not get judged, then this can be an indicator you are gay. Straight women do go to les bars of course, but, it’s not really the norm for them. If you are finding that when you go out you head for the les bars and feel totally relaxed in them, you are probably a lez.

You think men are attractive but don’t want to have sex with them

This is probably the biggest indicator of all. If you are getting hot under the collar thinking about women, but you simply don’t feel like that over men, you are probably gay. Thinking a man is attractive or looks good doesn’t mean to say you want to get up close and personal with one. If you do and women still rock your boat you could be bisexual.

Try not to be too quick to label yourself. Half the fun of finding out who you are is experimenting and having the confidence in yourself is far more important than labelling yourself. That will happen when you are ready, so just be happy being you and try not to put any more unnecessary pressure on labelling your sexual orientation.

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YouTube Star, Eva Gutowski Comes Out As Bisexual On Twitter

Eva Gutowski has come out to her fans on social media as bisexual.

The 22-year-old YouTube star, who ended her relationship with Alex Hayes just days ago, wrote the message on Twitter for her fans.

She admitted that she has felt open to loving anyone, no matter what, since she was 12 years old.

She also pleaded with her fans to be more open-minded and boundless when it comes to love, and to not be limited by society and what it deems to be “normal.”

It is great to see her be so open and honest with her viewers and followers about her sexuality. It is never easy to be so vulnerable in front of millions of people.

Bella Thorne’s Coming Out Inspired By Kristen Stewart Recent Openness

Last week, actress and social media celeb Bella Thorne casually revealed that she’s bisexual via twitter.

When a fan asked if Thorne is attracted to women as well as men, Bella replied simply, “Yes.”

The news was met with an outpouring of support from fans from Thorne millions of social media followers.

Reports have emerged in the wake of Thorne’s coming out, indicating that Kristen Stewart may have played a role in Bella’s decision to come out.

According to source;

Bella was inspired by her contemporary Kristen to reveal her sexual preference.

While she doesn’t know Kristen personally, Bella admires her bravery and the way she has dealt with the media intrusion with her personal life,” the insider claims.

Like Kristen, Bella feels we live in a day and age now where who you hook up with is irrelevant when it comes to your career.”

The source adds that Thorne looks up to K-Stew in more ways than one:

Kristen has thrived in recent years, making some bold career choices professionally and Bella sees her as a role model.”

Bella Thorne Reveals She’s Thankful For Support After Coming Out As Bisexual

This week, the actress surprised fans yesterday with one simple tweet

She did not elaborate on her answer, but quickly received an outpouring of support from fans on social media.

Thorne returned to social media to reveal how grateful she was for all the support.

Her latest tweets come more than a week after she mutually broke up with Wizards of Waverly Place star Gregg Sulkin after one year of dating.

They said in a joint statement: “After much thought and soul-searching, we have made the difficult decision to end our relationship.

We will always love each other and have a deep respect for one another, as we have each grown to be better people because of our time together. Our schedules made seeing each other difficult, and we decided that for now this would be best.”

As to why Bella decided to tweet about her sexuality, some fans are speculating that it’s because she recently shared a photo of herself kissing a girl.

Regardless of who she is and isn’t dating, fans are applauding the Hollywood star for her openness on social media.

Here’s Why Kristen Stewart’s Coming Out Is Still So Important To Me

Last week the Kristen Stewart took a bold step in revealing in the new issue of Elle U.K. that she’s in love with a woman.

Right now I’m just really in love with my girlfriend. We’ve broken up a couple of times and gotten back together, and this time I was like, ‘Finally, I can feel again.’ “

In doing so she told the world she was not closeted, and she was not ashamed to be in a relationship with a woman.

I was like, ‘Actually, to hide this provides the implication that I’m not down with it or I’m ashamed of it, so I had to alter how I approached being in public,” Stewart said.

I know what many of you are thinking. You’re not surprised and knew Stewart and Alicia Cargile were in a relationship for quite some time now.

You’ve seen the photos of the couple holding hands. You’ve read the tabloid reports about their ups and downs.

But the big difference now is that Stewart herself has gone on record and confirmed the romance.

And by opening up about her girlfriend, she has helped many of her young fans struggling with their sexuality to see that being gay or bisexual is okay.



Yes, some of us are lucky enough to live in a time when the LGBT community is slowly being accepted, but as we all know more still needs to be done.

Coming out is still very important for us to be free and to eventually have equal protection under the law.

Harvey Milk, the first openly LGBT person to be elected to office as a city supervisor in San Francisco, understood this well when he said,

Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must tell your relatives. You must tell your friends if indeed they are your friends. You must tell the people you work with. You must tell the people in the stores you shop in. Once they realize that we are indeed their children, that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and all. And once you do, you will feel so much better”

Before the gay rights movement, it was easy to believe for many that we hardly existed.

We were only a pariah of society, labelled as perverts to be harassed by police and arrested, simply for being in a bar frequented by our own kind.

Then came a night at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village when a group of gays decided they were fed up with being harassed and corralled into patty wagons and taken to jail, just because they frequented a known gay bar.

It was time to fight back and it was time to let the world know that we did exist and we had a right to exist.

Nowadays, every time a celebrity comes out, there are those who find it offensive and they do not mind voicing their disgust in blogs and in comments.

Some just simply cannot understand why we feel the need to let everyone know we’re gay, because it is just not important anymore, to them.

I beg to differ. It is very important that gay people, especially celebrities, to let the world know they are gay or bisexual because it is those who stand up to be counted as one of us, yet another gay person, that pushes our fight for equal rights forward.

If it were not for those willing to stand up, we all would be back in the closet, living in fear, afraid to lose our jobs, our freedom, even our lives.

Perhaps the day will come when it will no longer be important that someone like Kristen Stewart to come out and let the world know she is queer.

However, as long there are people in this world that cannot live free and equal the same as heterosexuals do, then it will be of the utmost importance that every queer person who is willing and who can, to stand up and be counted.


More Than 70% Lesbian And Bisexual Women Feel They Need To Hide Their Sexuality At Work, Research Finds

According to new research, more than two thirds of lesbian and bisexual women have experienced discrimination in the workplace.

Conducted by the British LGBT Awards, the study interviewed 1,200 lesbian and bisexual women in the UK to analyse their experiences at work.

Sadly, 64% said that they had experienced some kind of negative treatment including sexual discrimination, inappropriate language, lack of opportunity, or bullying at work.

73% also said they were not fully out to colleagues, and 86% of those asked said there needed to be more visible lesbian and bisexual women in senior professional roles to help boost visibility and provide role models for other women.

In the past, we’ve been told that a ‘gay pay’ gap may exist in the workplace and lesbian women are meant to earn 9% more than heterosexual women on average.

It is thought this may be due to heterosexual women being more likely to take maternity leave and facing discrimination as a result, which lesbian women are less likely to encounter.

Research on how bisexual women’s pay is affected by their sexuality is inconclusive.

Some studies have suggested bisexual women may be less likely to be employed than lesbian or heterosexual women, however, it is not known if this is due to bisexual women being younger on average and this thereby affects employment rate indirectly.

Sarah Garrett, British LGBT Awards founder, said that the results show that while progress has been made for LGBT equality, work still needs to be made for LGBT women.

The results are startling and clearly show that in 2016 lesbian and gay women are still finding it hard to be themselves in the workplace and worse still, those who are out at work have had negative experiences including discrimination, bullying and reduced opportunities to progress compared to male counterparts.

The findings are worrying and show that a lot of work remains to be done to change attitudes and promote acceptance.”

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How Did You Know You Were Bisexual? (Video)

Sound familiar “A lot of people just assume I’m straight”, well sadly you’re not alone.

Bisexual women often face their own unique set of complications when they come out.

Bi erasure is a real thing, and most gay (and straight) people would rather pretend that it’s not possible to fall somewhere in the middle.

Beyond that, many bisexual women face over-sexualization from both sides of the spectrum, and there are often assumptions that it’s all about sex.

Which sadly means it becomes a lot harder for Bisexuals to come out.

Ellen DeGeneres Reveals How Her Father Struggled With Her Decision to Come Out As Gay

The actress-and-talk show host, , who is married to actress Portia de Rossi, announced to the world she was a lesbian in 1997.

Ellen, whose parents divorced when she was young, has revealed how her ‘overprotective’ dad, Elliott Everett DeGeneres, was worried for her when she went public with her sexuality because he wanted her to have a quiet life and was the opposite of her “sassy” mother Betty DeGeneres.

Speaking to HELLO! magazine, she said:

My parents divorced when I was young – they were very different personalities. My mother is a strong woman, sarcastic and sassy, and I learnt how to be a tough woman from her. My dad is a wonderful man but he has a lot of fear and he was overprotective of me.

He didn’t want me to hurt myself so he wanted me to be nice and quiet all the time and not really argue or speak my opinion. So imagine his challenge of having an openly gay child … When you’re growing up, whatever your environment is, if you don’t know any different, that is what it is.

I didn’t know anything was wrong until I got older and I started doing some soul-searching and read some books. I learnt a lot of lessons the hard way, which is a beautiful way to learn them.”

Ellen married Portia, in August 2008 after the ban on same-sex marriages was overturned in California.

Now I have Portia in my life, I’ve been forced to grow a great deal, because I’ve learnt that you can’t really get anything from anyone unless you have something to give to them.

So I come to this relationship as a whole person, which I wasn’t ever before. She and I both support each other and we both believe in each other and it’s great.”

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Montreal Singer Coeur De Pirate Comes Out As Queer In Open Letter

Montreal singer-songwriter Béatrice Martin – better known by the stage name Coeur de Pirate – has shared an open letter in the wake of the shooting that led to the death of 49 people in Orlando, Fla.

In the letter which was published Thursday on music website Noisey, the 26-year-old artist reveals she is queer,

She details the struggles she faced and the impact the LGBTQ+ community has had on her since the mass shooting at Pulse nightclub on June 12.

In a world where, in certain countries, being gay is still punishable by death, it’s important to take a stand. The internet is a beautiful place sometimes. That’s when I started feeling like a hypocrite. The whole situation made me wonder if I was considering myself honest.”


Martin said she was only six or seven years old, when she first had romantic feelings were for another girl. At the time, she read manga like Sailor Moon, which portrayed female characters in lesbian relationships, a plot she described as “enlightening.”

As she got older, she realised that for some “it was considered weird to like someone of the same sex”,  so she suppressed her feelings, had a child and believed everything would be fine.

However, after giving birth to her daughter, she says that everything she had repressed came back in full force.


She said she felt “used and helpless” every time she came into contact with others.

Martin underlines her experiences as a closeted queer person and stresses the importance of living one’s truth.

That is why I’m coming out as queer today; because I can no longer be scared of what people might think about me. I can’t be scared that someone will stop listening to my music, or that parents might not want their kids listening to me because of the fact that I want to love whoever I want to love.

I’m coming out for my daughter who needs to learn that love knows no race, religion, gender or orientation. Even though the family that she knew in the very beginning won’t be the same, she deserves all of the love that she needs or wants. I’m coming out for the victims that lost their lives because they wanted to celebrate who they truly were.”

Representatives for Martin said she would not be commenting on the subject for the time being outside of this open letter.

Martin took to Twitter following her letter’s publication to thank people for their support.