Tag Archives: Coming out

Chicago Fire Actress Monica Raymund Introduces Her Girlfriend To The World to Via Twitter

Chicago Fire star Monica Raymund announced via Twitter that she has a girlfriend. “She is the love of my life,” Monica tweeted, along with a pic of her girlfriend Tari Segal sleeping.

https://twitter.com/monicaraymund/status/643643615579914240

Monica announced she was bi in early 2014 during the run up to the Olympics in Sochi, when she Tweeted an article about a Norwegian artist’s protest of Russia’s antigay laws.

At the time, she was married to director and writer Neil Patrick Stewart, she is now divorced. During her public coming out, she explained that she was out for the past 10 years, and she knew she was bisexual since the age of 16 years.

Also read: Changing the Face of Lesbian & Bi Visibility in Entertainment

Tari Segal is the director of photography and camera operator and is also working on the series Chicago Fire.

https://instagram.com/p/7qZ21Slihw

Lesbian Coming Out Story Illustrated By Stunning New Photo Series

The series – by photographer Arjun Kamath – captures the struggle that LGBTs go through when coming out, as well as the rejection and ridicule they may still face.

The images show the journey of Alpana and Maitreyi, who are shown climbing out of a closet, before finding peace and acceptance together.

The powerful imagery aims to show the fear and confusion many people feel when realising their sexuality, and the strength it takes to be honest with oneself, as well as society.

Speaking about his inspiration for the photographs, Kamath said:

Being straight, I think I can look at the whole situation more objectively. I don’t think discrimination against gay people is any different from other types of discrimination, such as discrimination against overweight people or discrimination against dark skinned people. People should be allowed to lead their lives without judgement. It’s cowardly to make fun of people who are different from you. That said, I don’t consider myself to be a gay activist. I’m an artist and I work on subjects that move me.”

Asked about the reaction to the series, the photographer said its reception had been nothing but positive.

The most heartening aspect has been receiving messages of support from strangers. Just today, a bisexual woman messaged me that saying how the photo shoot had moved her to tears. She says she’d been ostracised throughout her life for being bisexual and being dark skinned. She said she was really happy I’d brought this issue out into the open.”

Photographer Documents the Moment She Came Out to Her Parents (Pics)

It was not Paola Paredes intention to come out to her parents, but then she saw a book of lesbian photography and it planted a seed in her head.

Talking to Advocate, she says the book motivated her to capture her own coming-out story because “the idea of capturing it in photographs made it all of a sudden appealing.”

Coming out in any family is not easy, especially for Paredes, because her parents come from a conservative Catholic background.

I am not Catholic despite my upbringing. But I do understand that for other Latinas who are, it is hard because of what religion makes people believe. There is a lot of work to do be done. It is slowly becoming better, but the change starts in each person to build tolerance and to educate people. I think Latin women can get a lot achieved. We are empowering, intelligent, passionate, and charismatic.”

… I looked at them once more and shared my love for them once again. I said the words. ‘There is something I haven’t been able to share with you.’ And after that I just took a deep breath and let out the words. ‘I’m gay.’ After I told them, it was like popping a massive balloon. I had let out such a heavy thing that I had been carrying for so many years, so I couldn’t help but cry and put my head on the table.”

Their instant reaction was to reach out. They put their hands on my head and said ‘we don’t care, we accept you.’ They started crying as well. We all did. It was super overwhelming. After that, we carried on a three-hour conversation. I had a chance to share with them things they hadn’t heard before. We talked about their fears. But overall they were nothing but accepting.”

This is a video she shot during the “making of” her orchestrated dinner-table scene, to prepare for her parents and her sisters to join her during her coming out.

Just For Show: Singer Claims Miley Cyrus And Other Bisexual Stars Out Themselves For The PR

Dutch singer, Loona has voiced her opinion on bisexual female celebrities. Saying she believes they out themselves as bi as PR stunts.

Talking on a German TV channel Punkt 12, the singer referred to Kristen Stewart, Miley Cyrus and Cara Delevingne.

On Cyrus’ relationship with Stella Maxwell, the singer doesn’t believe this honest.

Miley Cyrus is a girl only looking for publicity. So I don’t believe her; and it’s definitely a PR stunt.’

She went on to describe Stewart (who is apparently dating Alicia Cargile), as being ‘more of a masculine type’, and that she ‘could accept it [bisexuality] from her.’

British model Delevingne, who recently made her relationship to singer Annie Clark (aka St. Vincent) public, was the only one the Dutch singer believed to be honest about her sexuality.

She’s got a bit of this manly… she’s a tough girl. But at some point, in ten, fifteen years, she’ll have a nice man and some lovely children.’

So why is Loona such an ‘authority’ on such matters. Well the singer admitted to faking a same-sex relationship with a German model for PR purposes in 2013. That stunt got her a lot of attention and much needed PR to push her career in the right direction.

Jane Lynch Explains Her Not So Public Coming Out Story

Jane Lynch (unlike may celebrities) never had to endure a public “coming out moment”, but the former Glee star says that every celebrity’s story should be different.

During an interview on SiriusXM Progress, she explained

Everybody has their own way to deal with it. I don’t concern myself with other people’s—whether or not they want to come out, it’s not something for me to think about. There are still parts of the country where it’s hard, when you realize you’re gay, it’s like a death sentence and to give those kids some hope, I love that.”

The 54-year-old actress also opened up about her experience with coming out of the closet and gave a shout-out to many who “cleared a path” for her.

Also read: The Amazing Jane Lynch Tells Her Coming Out Story

When people started taking an interest in me, where they wanted to write about me, I didn’t say I wasn’t gay, so—I never had that. And I have to give kudos to people like Melissa Etheridge and k.d. lang and Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell, all of those people who came [out] before and at the height of their career, when they had a lot to lose, stood up and said this is who I am.”

Lynch concluded

Everybody has their own psychology, their own issues, their own subconscious material. For me to make a broad statement—it’s like outing people…You might be dealing with a very fragile part of someone’s psyche. So I think everybody has got to go their own path.”

Watch Lynch’s It Got Better video below

Student Bravely Wears Rainbow Flag and Comes Out at her Graduation Ceremony in China

Wan Qing made sure her graduations was a big occasion, and brought the fight for equal rights to her academic ceremony.

Pictures show 22-year-old Wan hugging the university president, with both of them holding up fists in solidarity with the LGBT community, reports Shanghaiist.

Wan Qing, who was graduating from Sun Yat-Sen University in Guangzhou, Guangdong, China, took the opportunity to come out as a lesbian, draped in a rainbow flag.

Wan said on her Weibo account:

I’m a lesbian and I hope the legalisation of gay marriage will not be the end but a starting point for equal rights.

Those who don’t want to get married receive respect too.”

Her emotional post was shared more than 3,500 times.

Inspired by the US Supreme Court ruling legalising same-sex marriage, she said:

The dean of media and entertainment studies shook my hand and complimented my action. Many other professors didn’t even know what the rainbow flag stands for! I had to explain.”

A journalist with the university newspaper alleged that Communist Youth League Committee professors at the school asked for pictures of Wan’s rainbow flag to be pulled from their WeChat account, but Wan says she has only received positive messages.

Ellen Page Discusses Marriage Equality, Her Career as a Lesbian Actress

Ellen Page made our hearts skip a beat last year when she came out of the closet.

This week the actress spoke to Variety about how she feels Hollywood helped pave the way for LGBT rights, and what coming out meant for her.

I’m happier than I probably could imagine. Now it doesn’t feel like I was ever not out. It’s hard for me to imagine not existing in the way that I’m existing now. It boggles my mind that it seemed so difficult and so impossible. I wish I’d done it sooner, quite frankly. Some dark cloud has completely evaporated, thank goodness.”

She added

There are still not many young people out in Hollywood. There’s this narrative that people are attached to: You cannot come out because it’s going to hurt your career. And that’s potentially true. When I made the decision to come out, I wasn’t naive to that.”

On Hollywood, being out and acting she said

… the roles that do exist, you’re specifically a device for the male character or you’re hypersexualized in regards to the male gaze. For whatever reason, people can believe straight actors playing gay roles, but there’s this idea they can’t believe gay actors playing straight roles. And for me, it got to a point where it didn’t matter.”

Hollywood (for all it failings) has helped drive LGBT stories to a larger audience. There is now growing acceptance for gay and lesbian story lines; and gay rights and marriages.

Aside from all the silliness of Hollywood and what we do, stories are told that are really important, and that touch people and transform how they feel about things, whether it’s been “Philadelphia,” “Brokeback Mountain” or “Milk.” And I think it definitely can change minds and push things forward.

Whenever you’re telling a story about a minority group, it’s potentially not as appealing because there’s a feeling it’s not going to get the audience a financier needs. I feel like that’s been proven wrong time and time again, particularly when you’re looking at the diversity on TV right now. You can tell that’s what people want.”

On coming out, and her new role as LGBT spokesperson, the actress added

I feel extremely fortunate and humble when I have experiences with LGBT people who come up to me and say how I helped them come out. Those moments are really extraordinary. They are typically really emotional. The biggest feeling I get is gratitude. I totally stayed in the closet, and I felt guilty about it. I was finally able to get out, and that was my life journey. I’m interested in gay issues. It’s natural for that to be a part of my life.”

It Doesn’t Get Better… It Gets Epic! (Video)

A host of our favourite YouTubers have gathered to deliver a very special message about being out.

Watch below.

YouTube Beauty Guru Ingrid Nilsen Comes Out in Powerful New Video

You might know YouTuber Ingrid Nilsen from her stint as a judge on Project Runway: Threads, or maybe you’re one of her more than three million YouTube followers who have been watching her videos for the past six years.

And if you are, you know her to be one of the most honest video stars out there, someone who really connects with her fans.

Yesterday, Nilsen had an important message for her 3.3 million followers, announcing in an emotional 20-minute video that she is gay.

The video, which garnered more than 1 million hits in just eight hours, featured an alternately tearful and pensive Nilsen explaining how she decided to come clean about something very personal.

Looking *so* relieved to say the actual words, “I’m gay”, Ingrid gets right down to business when the video starts.

Just try not to cry with her as she spills her heart out on camera – it’s so, so touching.

She goes on to explain how she grew up in an environment where being gay was “not universally accepted” and that she was dating men just to “go through the motion.”

This is something that is a part of me and has always been a part of me”

Her last boyfriend, the “last guy she’ll ever date,” was “kind, respectful, and supportive,” but she couldn’t keep lying to herself.

I want to live my life unapologetically because I am proud of who I am and I am not going to apologize for who I am anymore. This is the life that I have always lived in my head and now it’s real.”

Women’s World Cup Hopeful Abby Wambach Opens up About Why She Never Came Out Publicly

Abby Wambach is an athlete that has managed to dodge the spotlight on her sexuality for her entire career.

For years, rumours and speculation followed her, but she never spoke out. When her U.S. women’s teammate Megan Rapinoe came out, many of her loyal lesbian fans expected her to do the same. But she didn’t.

It wasn’t until her 2013 marriage to Sarah Huffman that she even broached the subject openly, and the wedding was done with little fanfare.

In speaking candidly in a recent New York Times article, Wambach explained why:

I never felt like I had to have this huge party for myself about my sexuality. To make a party for something that I think of as normal, for me, that just didn’t seem authentic. I wanted it to be as normal as possible.”

According to the article, Wambach added that she wanted to show that a same-sex marriage could be as typical and routine as a heterosexual one. She also explained how her attention shifted from soccer to soccer and family:

I’ll be honest. After I got married, I definitely had a shift in emotional devotion. Forever, it was just soccer — passion, life, love. Then I got married, and I had to transfer some of my energy. I want to be my best for my country, but I also made a really big promise and choice to be the best in my marriage. That has not always been the easiest thing to manage.”

This summer may very well be Wambach’s last chance to go for gold at the Women’s World Cup.

Even though she never intended to make a bold statement regarding her sexuality, the entire world will be watching her.

Tatum O’Neal: ‘I’m Dating Women Now’

In an new interview PEOPLE magazine, Tatum O’Neal has revealed a new turn in her love life.

I like women. I definitely have been dating mostly women recently. I’m not one or the other.

I think women are the most amazing creatures on earth. They’re gentle, and also more intelligent than the men that I’ve met recently. I don’t have a steady right now, but I look forward to it.”

Tatum won an Academy Award at the age of 10 for the film Paper Moon – was married tennis star John McEnroe in 1986 and they have three children, Kevin, 29, Sean, 28 and Emily, 24. Their split in 1992 led to a long custody battle over the children. McEnroe went on to marry Patty Smyth, with whom he has two daughters.

O’Neal is the daughter of Love Story star, Ryan O’Neal. Her mother, actress Joanna Moore, was an alcoholic and she lived with her father in Malibu while growing up. She later claimed he’d been physically and verbally abusive to her and virtually abandoned her after embarking on a relationship with the Charlie’s Angels star Farrah Fawcett.

After a decades-long struggle with drugs, O’Neal says she is clean and in a good place these days.

I’m the most content I’ve ever been. I’m the proudest mother in the history of the world.”

Understanding and Accepting Your Sexuality (Video)

TeenLine has a great video called LGBTQ: Understanding Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities.

It is an educational video, which focuses on the lives of several LGBTQ teens in Los Angeles. The video discuses their coming out process, the support (or lack of support) they received, and how the learned to embrace their identities.

As we know some LGBTQ youth are more likely than their heterosexual peers to experience difficulties in their lives and school environments, such as violence.

Negative attitudes toward lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) people put these youth at increased risk for experiences with violence, compared with other students. Violence can include behaviours such as bullying, teasing, harassment, physical assault, and suicide-related behaviours.

LGBTQ youth are also at increased risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviours, suicide attempts, and suicide. A nationally representative study of adolescents in grades 7–12 found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth were more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide as their heterosexual peers.³ More studies are needed to better understand the risks for suicide among transgender youth. However, one study with 55 transgender youth found that about 25% reported suicide attempts.

For youth to thrive in their schools and communities, they need to feel socially, emotionally, and physically safe and supported. A positive school climate has been associated with decreased depression, suicidal feelings, substance use, and unexcused school absences among LGBQ students.

Schools can implement clear policies, procedures, and activities designed to promote a healthy environment for all youth. For example, research has shown that in schools with LGB support groups (such as gay-straight alliances), LGB students were less likely to experience threats of violence, miss school because they felt unsafe, or attempt suicide than those students in schools without LGB support groups. A recent study found that LGB students had fewer suicidal thoughts and attempts when schools had gay-straight alliances and policies prohibiting expression of homophobia in place for 3 or more years.

Funny Video Alert | Give This Mom Credit For Her Hilarious Reenactment Of Daughter’s Coming Out

The daughter, who goes by Bri, first posted the video on her Tumblr page.

My mom says this was how it was when I came out. I love her.”

…And we love her too after watching this hilarious reenactment too and her amazing support to her daughter.

As we all know not all LGBT children get the same treatment. Many struggle for acceptance in schools, at church, at work, and especially in their own home.

You can see the funny video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=20&v=pAwad6dSjn0

Cate Blanchett Confirms Her Past Relationships With Women

Blink and you’ll miss it – but Cate Blanchett just confirmed she has enjoyed past relationships with women.

In new piece with Variety, the six-time Oscar nominee talks about playing the lead in Carol, a new lesbian romance based on Patricia Highsmith‘s novel The Price of Salt. In the article, Blanchett also mentions that she has had relationships with women “many times” before – wow!

From the article…

When asked if this is her first turn as a lesbian, Blanchett curls her lips into a smile. “On film — or in real life?” she asks coyly. Pressed for details about whether she’s had past relationships with women, she responds: “Yes. Many times,” but doesn’t elaborate. Like Carol, who never “comes out” as a lesbian, Blanchett doesn’t necessarily rely on labels for sexual orientation. “I never thought about it,” she says of how she envisioned the character. “I don’t think Carol thought about it.” The actress studied the era by picking up banned erotic novels. “I read a lot of girl-on-girl books from the period,” she says.

This is the first time she’s spoken about having been with women. However, the actress is currently is married to Australian writer/director Andrew Upton, so any further outings with women will be pretty limited.

Carol is an adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s 50s lesbian pulp novel The Price of Salt. While lesbian pulp novels usually ended in tragedy (it would have been blasphemous to end them in blissful romance) Highsmith broke barriers by doing the opposite. In The Price of Salt the lead falls for a young woman – a department store clerk and artist – and spoiler alert (!) it ends in a way that lets us imagine that the two women end up happy together.

On the film, director Todd Haynes says

In some ways, the event of a gay love story is less surprising every day. But I think love stories are hard to pull off, period. They require external forces that keep the lovers apart.”

Cate is now one of several public women who have spoken about having relationships with women, while also not labelling themselves, much like Miley Cyrus.

Must Watch – Gillian Anderson’s ‘Bride of Hannibal’ Trailer

OMG. We’re sitting on the edges of our seats today as we watch the new trailer for Hannibal, with Gillian Anderson taking centre stage – watch now!

Anderson has been upgraded to series regular for the third series of NBC’s psychological thriller.

The new clip teases her character Bedelia Du Maurier’s relationship with Hannibal (Mads Mikkelsen), opening with the oft-used phrase: “Behind every great man is a great woman.”

Also read: Gillian Anderson Says She Would Not Rule Out Another Same Sex Romance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ4Bn5YuGcE

Hannibal returns to NBC in the US on June 4 – get a taste of what’s in store below.

Maria Bello Questions the Labels We Give Ourselves

In November 2013, Bello wrote a column for the “Modern Love” section of The New York Times called “Coming Out as a Modern Family” about her family. For Bello, her “modern family” consists of her beloved son, a close friendship with her ex-husband and a romantic pairing with her long-time friend Claire Munn, whom Maria only realised she was in love with when she was 45 years old.

The column received thousands of comments, which prompted her to write a book called Whatever…Love is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves.

The book allows Bello to explore various aspects of her life. For example, each chapter starts with a question like “Am I a Catholic?” and “Am I LGBT or W?” – The “W” stands for “whatever”. It’s also a book about loving yourself and honouring the real relationships in your life, whether or not they fit the model of what family, friends or lovers are “supposed” to look like. Rejecting that nasty compulsory white-cis-heterosexism that tries to trap women – just find a man, and you’ll be OK.

I raised questions about the meaning of partnership, modern family, and the labels we all carry. I wrote about the people standing by my bedside when I was sick at the time.

They were all my partners in some way, whether I slept in the same bed with them, did homework with them or had a child with them. When I told my son that I had fallen in love with a woman [Clare Munn] who was like a godmother to him, he simply said to me, ‘Whatever, Mom…Love is love’. That statement opened up a door to a larger conversation about how many of the labels we use today are outdated.”

In a recent interview with on GLAAD: All Access, hosted Claire Pires, actress Maria Bello opened up about her new book. Watch the interview here:

How To Know You’re a Lesbian

So you’re questioning, but how to be sure?! A quick and cheeky checklist to watch from our favourite YouTubers – BriaAndChrissy and Arielle Scarcella.

Lily Tomlin on the Long Road to Being Public About her Sexuality

Lily Tomlin has often quietly spoken about her sexuality – and married her long-term partner Jane Wagner on New Year’s Eve 2013, but its only now she is starting openly discuss her sexuality in interviews.

Speaking to HuffPo Live, she opened up her life in the transparent closet – joking that “everyone” already knew she was a lesbian.

I was on Carson one night [in 1971], and he [asked if I wanted kids], and I said no… the audience was deathly still. That was a hot subject to bring up to a straight audience. I wasn’t totally forthcoming. Everybody in the business knew I was gay, and certainly everybody I worked with and everything like that.

I just never had a press conference to announce it. In 1975, [TIME magazine] wanted to put me on the cover just for being gay! I was making my third album at the time.”

Also read: First Look At Netflix’s Jane Fonda-Lily Tomlin Comedy ‘Grace And Frankie’

However, Tomlin did not agree to do the cover – and kept her sexuality off-the-record until years later.

I wonder if I had come out on that ’75 cover on TIME, if I would have had as long a career as I’ve had. It would have been an inopportune time to make such a grand statement. I mean, Ellen [DeGeneres] didn’t really come out until 20 years later. It’s been a long life… I’ve been really lucky.”

Tomlin is currently working with Jane Fonda on the comedy series Grace and Frankie, which is a comedy drama called Grace and Frankie, which follows long-time rivals Grace and Frankie, who are brought together after their husbands announce they are in love with each other and plan to get married. The 13-part Netflix series, is set to air from May 8.

I’m a Lesbian, But I Wasn’t Born This Way

None of the science dedicated to finding a gay gene holds water, so why not make a positive choice to reject heterosexuality and decide to switch sides?

Julie Bindel explains why she believes she chose her sexuality, rather than it having chosen her. But, she asks, have we returned to the essentialist notion that we are either ‘born that way’ or that we are unthinkingly heterosexual?

Original X-Men Member Comes Out

A leaked comic has confirmed that one of the original five X-Men, will come out as gay.

Due to be released this week, All-New X-Men #40, confirms that Bobby Drake, aka Iceman, is gay

The comic series centres around the five young original X-Men (Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman and Jean Grey) who time travel to the present day and fight alongside new members of the team.

In the new issue, Iceman makes a comment about their female professor’s “incredible hotness”, and gets pulled aside by psychic Jean Grey.

She questions why he says things like that – and reveals the she knows he is gay.

They discuss the fact that they have met Iceman’s older self, who is not gay, and Bobby suggests:

Maybe he couldn’t handle being a mutant and gay in a society that had issues with both? And one is easier to ‘put away’ than the other?”

He points out that his older self dated character Kitty Pryde, who was played by Ellen Page in two of the live-action X-Men films, and Jean reminds him:

And now she no longer lives on planet Earth.”

The X-Men franchise has often dealt with issues of discrimination and oppression, with many similarities to LGBT rights struggles.

One of Aussie TV’s Most Loved Television Presenters has Come Out as Gay

Faustina “Fuzzy” Agolley is one of Aussie TV’s most loved television presenters, and as part of her 31st birthday celebrations, the former model has publicly come out as gay.

Fuzzy made it big in Australia, hosting most watched music program Video Hits on Network Ten. It was a job that took her all over the world to interview music’s biggest entertainers including the Alicia Keys, Kanye West, Adele, Green Day, Rihanna, and Sinead O’Connor.

She made the revelation in a blog post entitled I’m gay, which was published today.

As a child I always knew I was gay, but somewhere the feeling got lost. A long and, not always scenic, route ensued to bring me back to who I truly am.”

She attributed her decision to come out to meeting a “tribe” of women whom she could connect to.

For the first time in my life I came to the full realisation of who I am and I felt safe in their company. They bolstered my confidence and gave me my voice again. And I love them eternally for it.”

Fuzzy – whose father is from Ghana and mother is Chinese-Malaysian – went on to conclude by posting to her Instagram account these powerful words:

As black as my skin, as Chinese as my blood, and as Australian and British are my nationalities, I’m also a proud gay woman. Most importantly though, I’m a happy human being.”

https://instagram.com/p/1SNiV_Dg-J/?taken-by=faustinathefuzz

You can read the full post below:

And tonight, to coincide with my birthday, I’m celebrating with friends over Rainbow Cake. It’s the Elton John of cakes, complete with rainbow flares.

As a child I always knew I was gay, but somewhere the feeling got lost. A long and, not always scenic, route ensued to bring me back to who I truly am.

What I needed was to find my tribe. I wasn’t actively seeking it, though sometime last year I met a group of women that I could truly connect to. I could see myself in them in many ways. And they are women of character who I aspire to. Most importantly, they are women that are generous and kind. For the first time in my life I came to the full realisation of who I am and I felt safe in their company. They bolstered my confidence and gave me my voice again. And I love them eternally for it.

Thankfully my tribe has now extended to my family and friends that I’ve had the confidence to come out to. We’ve created noise, a celebratory noise. We’ve drowned out the negativity that sadly weaves through many homes, communities, governments and countries throughout the world.

In life, philosophy and literature imparts one of the greatest lessons we continuously come back to, and that is to know thyself. For those reading this who are LGBT and haven’t come out – even when society may not deem you equal because of your sexuality – know that you are. And just like in my situation, know that there are people in the world that have your back.

Some may be asking “Why does she feel the need to write this?”. The answer is that there is nothing I’m leveraging off or deliberately seeking. This simply feels like the right and natural way to let it be known, sincerely.

As black as my skin, as Chinese as my blood, and as Australian and British are my nationalities, I’m also a proud Gay Woman.

Most importantly though, I’m a happy human being.

Love,

Faustina Agolley

New Study Concludes That Stereotypes Make Coming Out Harder for Bisexuals

When US Gov. Kate Brown of Oregon came out as bisexual to her parents, they reportedly told her they wished she’d come out as a lesbian instead, because it would be easier to understand and accept.

Reactions like this are pretty common, and according to a new study co-authored by UNL sociologist Emily Kazyak, cultural perceptions and stereotypes have more impact on bisexuals’ coming-out experiences than those of gays and lesbians.

Also read: Bisexual Women Myths Busted

Bisexual stereotypes are often pervasive, negative or over-sexualise individuals. Kazyak highlights that most research ignores bisexual identity or lumps it together with gay and lesbian sexual identity, so she and co-authors Kristin Scherrer of Metropolitan State University in Denver and Rachel Schmitz of UNL looked at how people who identified as bisexual might have different experiences when coming out.

We know that there are certain stereotypes about bisexual identity that are different from gay and lesbian sexuality. Our hunch was that bisexual people really have a distinct experience in coming out to family members, given those stereotypes attached to bisexual identity.”

Emily Kazyak

Researchers interviewed 45 people who identified as bisexual and found that perceptions of how family members viewed bisexuality caused the interviewees to react in one of three ways: to not come out at all; to come out as gay or lesbian; or to come out as bisexual.

Perceptions of bisexuality also affected to whom the person decided to come out, and how those family members responded.

Bisexual identity may be more difficult to accept because of mono-sexism, the belief that people can only be gay or straight, Kazyak said.

We really have this sense that sexual orientation is something that is black and white and that you’re either attracted to people of the opposite sex or you’re attracted to people of the same sex.”

Such beliefs often leave bisexual identity open to re-interpretation and misunderstanding.

Family members will say, ‘Oh, it’s just a phase,’ or, ‘You’re confused. That’s why a lot of people came out as gay or lesbian. They would say things like, ‘I think this will be easier for my family members to understand.’ They thought coming out as bisexual would be too confusing to their family.”

While Kazyak had hypothesized that the experience of coming out would be different for bisexuals, she was surprised at how much stereotypes and perceptions mattered.

We were struck by how much people really thought about this. People put a lot of thought and energy into how they were going to come out. It’s not necessarily easier or harder to come out as bisexual, but there’s a different set of negotiations that bisexual people have to go through.”

The study was published in March in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

Pillow Talk | Oh Sh*t I’m Gay

People often ask ‘so when did you discover you were a lesbian?’ Which is highly annoying, but does give me food for though – was I always a lesbian, or did I discover my sexuality?

I kind of knew I was gay, but when I was younger I didn’t really know what that meant. In school I chased boys, and I even had a boyfriend for most of my time at high school, but on the back burner I was having these weird crushes on girls.

However, at the time, the thought of being with a woman felt more like a ‘secret’ fantasy than reality. Back then, I didn’t think I’d ever act on these ‘secret’ feelings and sadly, the idea of actually telling people I was lesbian, bi, queer… terrified me. I felt certain it would fill my life with stress, judgment and trouble. I was scared.

It wasn’t until I met my first girlfriend, and my pulse sped up to the point where I felt dizzy that I knew. So, I finally embraced, and found, myself.

The process of discovering sexuality differs for everyone. It might take a while for you to figure it out, and there’s no need to rush.

Like me some people say they ‘felt different’ from the time when they were young, but it took a while to think of themselves as queer, lesbian, or bisexual. As they grew older, they realise that those words fit in with their feelings.

Some other people don’t discover their attractions until later in adulthood.

If you’re feeling confused, you’re not alone. Sexual orientation, like many things in life, develop over time and over time your questions will become clearer.

21 Things Gay Women Are Sick of Hearing

Be prepared to slap heads and groan, because as lesbian we really do get asked crap like this over and over again. Wake-up world….

Also feel free to add your own in the comments below…

Food Writer & Great British Bake Off Favourite Ruby Tandoh Comes Out on Twitter

Runner-up to the BBC’s Great British Bake Off, and now food writer for The Guardian, Ruby Tandoh, has come out.

She took to Twitter to tell her followers that she was out to her parents.

https://twitter.com/rubytandoh/status/583615656999923712

She linked to a video of Diana Ross’ ‘I’m Coming Out’, and said: ‘Me to my parents today. feeling lucky and joyful and f r e e. over and Out.’

https://twitter.com/rubytandoh/status/583617949317124096

‘& to all the bros who hate social media, who pit it against “real life”,’ she added. ‘i never would’ve had courage to be me w/out twitter’s queer queens.’

Tandoh made headlines back in 2013 when she competed on the BBC show, finishing runner-up.

While she was loved for her cooking and dry wit, there was also gossip that she ‘made eyes’ at male judge Paul Hollywood.

In her coming out, she made a point to put those rumours firmly to rest.

https://twitter.com/rubytandoh/status/583623071711547393

She did see the funny side though, retweeting this

Stop Everything | Gillian Anderson Says She Would Not Rule Out Another Same Sex Romance

After two marriages and three children, the beautiful star of The Fall and The X Files, Gillian Anderson says she would not rule out another same sex romance – as long as her next relationship is The One

Anderson is on a career high right now and we love it. She is the hero in the dark and gripping gripping thriller The Fall, now commissioned for a third series. Has a new BBC mini series due out called War and Peace, in which she plays socialite Anna Pavlovna. She’ll be continuing role as Hannibal Lecter’s psychotherapist in the US TV series Hannibal. She has a new movie due out – Robot Overlords – where she’s playing the mother, Kate, in a the new British family sci-fi film. And there is now talk of a reprise of The X-Files with David Duchovny.

The beauty has her hands full balancing all this with her home life, and raising three kids, Piper, 20, Oscar, 8, and Felix, 6.

Also read: Gillian Anderson Speaks Out About Her Late Lesbian Lover

But in a recent interview with Telegraph, Anderson said she could find time for a little romance.

“I’m so lucky to have such great work. I’ve got a fantastic life, I have a wonderful relationship with my kids, and there’s nothing lacking, but I’m leaning towards the idea that it’s time for somebody to be brave enough to ask me out.”

And when asked would she ever consider another same-sex relationship? Anderson answered….

“I wouldn’t discount it. I did it before and I’m not closed to that idea. To me a relationship is about loving another human being; their gender is irrelevant.”

So could ‘the one’ be a woman – only time will tell.

But, would you be brave enough to make a move?

How Coming Out Allowed Ellen Page to Reconnect With Fashion

If you’ve been feeling a stronger-than-usual desire to purchase a Saint Laurent suit lately, then Ellen Page is probably the cause.

Page is stepping up a gear when it comes to fashion visibility, and it would seem her coming out has helped pave the way for this.

In the new issue Vogue (April 2015), Page confirms that coming out as gay has reignited the spark when it comes to getting dressed.

Also: More on Ellen Page and Julianne Moore’s New Lesbian Drama ‘Freeheld’

The out actress and activist said:

“I used to feel this constant pressure to be more feminine; a quiet or sometimes not-so-quiet demand — You need to wear a dress or people will think you’re gay.’ Now I feel a sense of freedom in dressing, and I’m enjoying it so much. I love wearing a Saint Laurent suit to an event… I mean, what a gift.”

Page will be playing Julianne Moore’s lesbian love interest in the upcoming film Freeheld, a role which has gained further significance since she publicly came out last year.

Lets take a moment to really appreciate Page’s post coming out wardrobe.

The Lesbian Friend Zone

Ah the lesbian friend zone. You know what I’m talking about. You were once good friends and then you kiss and now you’re dating…

Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual UK Servicemen And Women Are Now Willingly Out Themselves On Their Military Records

Hundreds of gay, lesbian and bisexual servicemen and women have willingly outed themselves on their military records in the UK.

Around 250 servicemen and 181 servicewomen said they are homosexual on files, while 86 men and 18 women were bisexual.

However, 829 men and 102 women chose to keep their sexuality secret – many because of fear of bullying, says a military source.

This first official audit came after the Ministry of Defence gave service personnel the option to reveal their sexual orientation in January.

An MoD spokesman said:

“The MoD proudly encourages diversity. Personnel are now encouraged to declare their orientation. Although this is not mandatory, collecting this data will give us a better understanding of the composition of our Armed Forces and help ensure policies fully support our personnel.”

Another military source applauded the news, but warned more must be done.

“The fact many troops feel confident enough to declare their sexuality on their personal documents is a major step forward in the right direction. But homophobic bullying still exists within the military and it is a problem, which isn’t going away. The armed forces need to ensure that they continue the good work because there is a lot more to be done.

The Ministry of Defence should not be complacent because some troops feel confident enough to declare their sexuality.”

Stonewall, however estimates there could be at least 10,000 LGBT troops serving in the UK armed forces, but many fearing abuse and prejudice, which stops them from coming out.

Recently lesbian soldier, Lance Bombardier Kerry Fletcher, won £124,000 in 2009 for sexual harassment that led to her quitting the Royal Artillery. And one general recently revealed he is preparing to out himself in protest over homophobic comments made by a colleague.

“I never considered outing myself until another very senior officer said he believed that admission of homosexuality by a senior officer would be career suicide. I actually felt like saying, ‘Actually I’m gay and it has never prevented me from serving Queen and country’. “I was furious, but in the end I let the comment pass. Over the last few weeks, I started to ask myself whether the time had come for someone of my rank to speak out and say you can serve your country at the highest levels as a gay man or woman.”

Wanda Sykes Discusses Coming Out

Watch as out comedian Wanda Sykes discusses how she never meant to come out at a Prop 8 rally in 2008.

Talking on The Meredith Show, she says she was called on stage by organisers as she had been vocal about her support for the anti Prop 8 campaign, but she didn’t intend to come out.

However the timing was just right. She married her wife Alex Sykes in 2008 just before Proposition 8, the law that banned same-sex marriage in California, was passed.

Although afterward her speech, she says people treated her like a Unicorn because, at the time, there was very little visible representative of the African American people in LGBT community.

“It just came out. I had just gotten married. So instead of speaking as a supporter, I was speaking as one of the victims. It just happened. I didn’t even think about it… We continued with the rally and by the time I got to the hotel, I’m looking at the CNN scroll and it says, ‘Comedienne Wanda Sykes: I’m proud to be black and gay’ and whatever, I was like, ‘Oh lord. What the hell just happened?’ It was crazy.

It was funny though, because especially being an African-American celebrity who’s out, it was like they started treating me like a unicorn. We’ve never seen one of you before! It’s like me and RuPaul. I guess that’s it.”

Wanda Sykes