Tag Archives: Foster Care

Bringing Baby Home: Important Adoption Tips For Lesbian Couples

You and your partner have taken that big step… you’ve decided to adopt a child. While congratulations are in order, you also have to do your research and find out what roadblocks you may encounter along the way.

While adoption among the LBGT crowd is becoming more widely accepted, there are still some places that either don’t allow gay couples to adopt, or may make it harder for them.

Adoption can already be an arduous process for any couple, but the more you know, the easier navigating that tricky world will become.

Here’s a look at some great tips for you and your partner as you embark on your future adoption….

Consider All Adoption Options

There are a variety of options out there when it comes to adoptions, so be sure to choose the best fit for you. Are you looking for a public domestic adoption or a private domestic option? Are you looking to adopt an infant or would you be open to adopting an older child? Will race and ethnic background play a part in your decision? These are all important questions to consider and play into the type of adoption best suited for you and your partner.

Know Local Adoption Laws

Laws will vary depending upon the country you live in, and from there the state, region, or province. Some areas may not even allow same-sex couples to adopt, so be sure you are educated on your local adoption laws and understand them before going any further.

Be Honest and Up Front

Don’t hide your sexuality. Not only is that not being true to yourself, it could end up backfiring if the truth were to come out that you’re not a heterosexual couple. Be open and honest with the adoption agency and the birth mother (if birth mother will be known). That way you’ll be building a trusting relationship with all parties involved. And why would you want to be involved with someone who is against same-sex rights to begin with?

Search Out Gay-Friendly Adoption Agencies

Not all agencies are going to be gay-friendly, and you have the right to have your adoption process no matter what your sexuality is. This might take a bit of research, but it will be well worth it. Check out the history of various agencies and whether or not they have anti-discrimination clauses listed on their website or brochures. Taking the time to ensure you’ll be treated fairly in regards to your adoption is a must.

Find a Support System

The process of adopting a child can be lengthy and exhausting. And once you’ve finally brought your child home, raising him or her will also bring challenges as you and your partner embark on the new journey of motherhood. That’s why it’s helpful to have a support group of others who have already gone through the adoption process or are still are still going through it.

It’s important to be able to share your fears and concerns as well as your joy and happiness with others going through the same thing. Having a support system will definitely help you transition into your new roles as mothers as well.

Same-Sex Adoptive Parents Are Increasing Across America

While same-sex couples have long been able to adopt from private, gay-friendly adoption agencies, adopting children from the foster care system in America has proved more difficult in some states.

Some states have even taken up legislation that would allow taxpayer-funded contractors – that oversee state adoptions – to refuse gay or lesbian individuals from adopting children if it conflicts with the organization’s religious beliefs.

Some also have policies that do not allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt foster children jointly, according to the Human Rights Campaign. In Alabama, where a federal court overruled the state’s ban on gay marriage, gay couples were also not allowed to adopt jointly.

But many of those states are changing their policies in the aftermath of the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage.

That’s the case in North Dakota, where the law allows single people to adopt but specifies that adopting couples must be “husband and wife.”

lesbian-family-06

Julie Hoffman, adoptions administrator for the state Department of Human Services, said:

It’s simple. Now that gay couples are allowed to marry, they’ll be treated like any other married couple who’s adopting.”

Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Ohio and South Dakota also are changing their practices to allow married gay couples to go through the adoption process together. Some of them said they’re starting to update their forms to make them gender neutral.

In Alabama, married gay couples will be allowed to adopt a foster child, but they’ll have to wait longer than most – the state requires married couples interested in adopting to have been married for a year before beginning the adoption process.

Mississippi is the only state that has a law that specifically bars gay couples from adopting foster children, and Julia Bryan, spokeswoman for the state Department of Human Services, said the law will be followed unless the legislature makes any changes when it reconvenes in January. However, the ban is being challenged in the courts.

The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services also will wait on the legislature before changing how it operates, according to spokeswoman Julie Moody.

Gay couples in the state will have to continue to have one member of the couple formally adopt the child, and then the other member has to come back later to do a second parent adoption – a similar process to a step parent adopting a stepchild.

Nebraska policy prevented unmarried couples, gay or straight, from fostering or adopting state wards until 2012, when the state started allowing same-sex couples to become foster parents, ultimately placing foster children with 15 same-sex couples.

A county judge recently struck down the unmarried couple ban. But the state is planning to challenge that, saying that the broad scope of the order would require its Department of Health and Human Services to treat “unrelated, unmarried adults residing together” the same as it treats individuals and married couples.

A statement from the Attorney General’s Office said that would make it more difficult to make placements in the best interest of the child.

 

Nebraska Judge Strikes Down Ban on Same-Sex Foster Parents

A Nebraska judge has struck down a policy that prevented same-sex couples from serving as foster parents or adopting state wards.

Judge John Colborn of the Lancaster County District, declared the rules unconstitutional, citing the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision that allowed same-sex marriage.

A spokeswoman for Nebraska Attorney General Doug Peterson said Thursday that the office was still reviewing the decision.

The administrative policy was put in place in 1995, but the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services quietly stopped enforcing the ban in 2012.

According to the ruling, the lack of enforcement created confusion within the department and among state contractors who work with state wards.

Same-sex couples were also forced to undergo a rigorous five-tier review from a DHHS caseworker, supervisor, two administrators and the director of the state’s Children and Family Services Division. Opposite-sex couples only required approval from a caseworker and supervisor.

Danielle Conrad, executive director of the ACLU of Nebraska, and one of three groups that sued the state on behalf of three same-sex couples, said

This is a special victory for thousands of children in Nebraska who now have more options to find loving and stable homes,”

The judge wrote

State officials have not argued, nor have they identified, any legitimate government interest to justify treating gay and lesbian individuals and gay and lesbian couples differently than heterosexual individuals and heterosexual couples in this review process.”

Bisexual Teen Says There Should Be Better Support for LGBT Foster Children

According to the British Association for Adoption and Fostering (the BAAF), 68,840 children were in the care of local authorities as of 31st March 2014. This denotes a significant rise on the 68,060 children in care as of 2013 and 65,520 children as of 2011.

Although the rate of children in care is on the up, several thousands of children are adopted each year too, with three and a half thousand children having been adopted in 2012. But while adoption is seen as a good thing, it also poses significant problems. Not just the usual issues of children learning how to settle in in their new surroundings and their new homes, but the issue of parents being against (or failing to understand) their foster child’s identity.

This is what 18 year old Emma Willoughby has spoken to ITV Fixers (a campaign that allows young people to express themselves) about. Emma explains that after discovering she was bisexual whilst in foster care, she didn’t feel comfortable to come out or discuss her sexuality at all with her foster parents.

“One of my foster care placements I was very fond of the people I lived with but I found they were very traditional, and I felt I couldn’t talk to them about my sexuality.

As this time I was dating a girl and I felt I couldn’t take them home because I was afraid of being found out and it just made me feel I was living two different lives not being able to live the one life that I really wanted to.”

She says that her foster parents were conservative and that she found their views upsetting. However, Emma also feels that this could be tackled with information which is why, in collaboration with the the Somerset Foster team, she has created a booklet of suggestions for foster carers and plans to host a series of workshops to educate foster carers on having LGBT children.