Tag Archives: Fostering

Bringing Baby Home: Important Adoption Tips For Lesbian Couples

You and your partner have taken that big step… you’ve decided to adopt a child. While congratulations are in order, you also have to do your research and find out what roadblocks you may encounter along the way.

While adoption among the LBGT crowd is becoming more widely accepted, there are still some places that either don’t allow gay couples to adopt, or may make it harder for them.

Adoption can already be an arduous process for any couple, but the more you know, the easier navigating that tricky world will become.

Here’s a look at some great tips for you and your partner as you embark on your future adoption….


Consider All Adoption Options

There are a variety of options out there when it comes to adoptions, so be sure to choose the best fit for you. Are you looking for a public domestic adoption or a private domestic option? Are you looking to adopt an infant or would you be open to adopting an older child? Will race and ethnic background play a part in your decision? These are all important questions to consider and play into the type of adoption best suited for you and your partner.


Know Local Adoption Laws

Laws will vary depending upon the country you live in, and from there the state, region, or province. Some areas may not even allow same-sex couples to adopt, so be sure you are educated on your local adoption laws and understand them before going any further.


Be Honest and Up Front

Don’t hide your sexuality. Not only is that not being true to yourself, it could end up backfiring if the truth were to come out that you’re not a heterosexual couple. Be open and honest with the adoption agency and the birth mother (if birth mother will be known). That way you’ll be building a trusting relationship with all parties involved. And why would you want to be involved with someone who is against same-sex rights to begin with?


Search Out Gay-Friendly Adoption Agencies

Not all agencies are going to be gay-friendly, and you have the right to have your adoption process no matter what your sexuality is. This might take a bit of research, but it will be well worth it. Check out the history of various agencies and whether or not they have anti-discrimination clauses listed on their website or brochures. Taking the time to ensure you’ll be treated fairly in regards to your adoption is a must.


Find a Support System

The process of adopting a child can be lengthy and exhausting. And once you’ve finally brought your child home, raising him or her will also bring challenges as you and your partner embark on the new journey of motherhood. That’s why it’s helpful to have a support group of others who have already gone through the adoption process or are still are still going through it.

It’s important to be able to share your fears and concerns as well as your joy and happiness with others going through the same thing. Having a support system will definitely help you transition into your new roles as mothers as well.

Same-Sex Adoptive Parents Are Increasing Across America

While same-sex couples have long been able to adopt from private, gay-friendly adoption agencies, adopting children from the foster care system in America has proved more difficult in some states.

Some states have even taken up legislation that would allow taxpayer-funded contractors – that oversee state adoptions – to refuse gay or lesbian individuals from adopting children if it conflicts with the organization’s religious beliefs.

Some also have policies that do not allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt foster children jointly, according to the Human Rights Campaign. In Alabama, where a federal court overruled the state’s ban on gay marriage, gay couples were also not allowed to adopt jointly.

But many of those states are changing their policies in the aftermath of the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage.

That’s the case in North Dakota, where the law allows single people to adopt but specifies that adopting couples must be “husband and wife.”

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Julie Hoffman, adoptions administrator for the state Department of Human Services, said:

It’s simple. Now that gay couples are allowed to marry, they’ll be treated like any other married couple who’s adopting.”

Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Ohio and South Dakota also are changing their practices to allow married gay couples to go through the adoption process together. Some of them said they’re starting to update their forms to make them gender neutral.

In Alabama, married gay couples will be allowed to adopt a foster child, but they’ll have to wait longer than most – the state requires married couples interested in adopting to have been married for a year before beginning the adoption process.

Mississippi is the only state that has a law that specifically bars gay couples from adopting foster children, and Julia Bryan, spokeswoman for the state Department of Human Services, said the law will be followed unless the legislature makes any changes when it reconvenes in January. However, the ban is being challenged in the courts.

The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services also will wait on the legislature before changing how it operates, according to spokeswoman Julie Moody.

Gay couples in the state will have to continue to have one member of the couple formally adopt the child, and then the other member has to come back later to do a second parent adoption – a similar process to a step parent adopting a stepchild.

Nebraska policy prevented unmarried couples, gay or straight, from fostering or adopting state wards until 2012, when the state started allowing same-sex couples to become foster parents, ultimately placing foster children with 15 same-sex couples.

A county judge recently struck down the unmarried couple ban. But the state is planning to challenge that, saying that the broad scope of the order would require its Department of Health and Human Services to treat “unrelated, unmarried adults residing together” the same as it treats individuals and married couples.

statement from the Attorney General’s Office said that would make it more difficult to make placements in the best interest of the child.

 

Nebraska Judge Strikes Down Ban on Same-Sex Foster Parents

A Nebraska judge has struck down a policy that prevented same-sex couples from serving as foster parents or adopting state wards.

Judge John Colborn of the Lancaster County District, declared the rules unconstitutional, citing the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision that allowed same-sex marriage.

A spokeswoman for Nebraska Attorney General Doug Peterson said Thursday that the office was still reviewing the decision.

The administrative policy was put in place in 1995, but the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services quietly stopped enforcing the ban in 2012.

According to the ruling, the lack of enforcement created confusion within the department and among state contractors who work with state wards.

Same-sex couples were also forced to undergo a rigorous five-tier review from a DHHS caseworker, supervisor, two administrators and the director of the state’s Children and Family Services Division. Opposite-sex couples only required approval from a caseworker and supervisor.

Danielle Conrad, executive director of the ACLU of Nebraska, and one of three groups that sued the state on behalf of three same-sex couples, said

This is a special victory for thousands of children in Nebraska who now have more options to find loving and stable homes,”

The judge wrote

State officials have not argued, nor have they identified, any legitimate government interest to justify treating gay and lesbian individuals and gay and lesbian couples differently than heterosexual individuals and heterosexual couples in this review process.”

​UK’s Foster Care Associates Call for More Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender People to Consider Fostering

Foster Care Associates (FCA) is calling for more gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender singles and couples in the UK to consider fostering. The step comes to reinforce the positive contribution LGBT foster carers make to helping children and young people.

A report by the Rees Centre, a University of Oxford education department, which specialises in research into fostering and education, has revealed that many LGBT foster carers express concern about how agencies, social workers and foster children might respond to their gender and sexuality.

FCA has built a reputation as one of the leaders in championing and supporting LGBT foster carers for more than 15 years.

They were one of the first independent fostering agencies to offer LGBT diversity training for all their carers and staff, and 2015 marks five consecutive years of being recognised in the Stonewall Top 100 employer’s listings as one of the UK’s most gay friendly organisations.

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Crystal is an FCA foster carer, with her partner Katie. She said:

“As foster carers we aim to provide a safe and happy home environment for foster children and it is that level of stability which is so important to a child’s wellbeing. Being a foster carer isn’t always easy but when you see a child grow and improve at something you have helped them with, it makes all the hard work worthwhile. Teaching a child right from wrong is one part of our role and when you actually begin to see them listen and act upon your advice, you feel you have made positive strides forward.”

David Oldham, chief executive of FCA, said:

“We have some amazing foster carers, and from the outset we only recruit people from across the spectrum who are open to diversity. We’re committed to developing a cohort of supportive carers, both for each other and the children they looked after. Our underlying message is that fostering is open to everyone and it’s up to FCA to provide a safe and welcoming community to support and develop our carers from the assessment process through to placement.”

Approximately only 2% of FCA’s 2000 carers are LGBT, a percentage that the agency aims to increase partly through regular visibility at LGBT events across the country as well specific information and recruitment events to communicate that fostering is an incredibly rewarding life choice which is open to everyone.

For more information on becoming a foster carer with the FCA, call 0800 023 4561 or visit www.thefca.co.uk