Tag Archives: Happiness

Apparently You Can Buy Your Happiness, But There’s A Catch

According to a new study, conducted by researchers at University of British Columbia, material gifts produce more prolonged happiness, than joyous experiences.

In the study, researcher gave one group of participants $20 to spend on either a material gift or an experience, like a concert, trip or sporting event.

The other group’s members were told to simply recall a material or experiential gift they received for Christmas.

All participants were then instructed to write down how their overall senses of happiness changed each day in the weeks after they received their gifts.

Researchers discovered those who received material gifts, such as skateboards and articles of clothing, had more consistent levels of happiness during the weeks after the gifts were given.

Recipients of experiential gifts appear to have experienced the peak amounts of happiness out of all participants. However researchers saw the joys of these experiences faded.

In contrast, recipients of material gifts constantly revisited the happiness of first receiving their gifts as they continued to use them.

Aaron Weidman, researcher at University of British Columbia said,

Consider a holiday shopper deciding between tickets to a concert or a new couch in the living room. The concert will provide an intense thrill for one spectacular night, but then it will end, and will no longer provide momentary happiness, aside from being a happy memory.

In contrast, the new couch will never provide a thrilling moment to match the concert, but will keep the owner snug and comfortable each day throughout the winter months.

So, when deciding what kind of gift to get someone, Weidman suggested, you should consider whether the recipient would prefer a limited but overwhelming feeling of happiness or smaller doses of happiness over a longer period of time.

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This study was originally published in Social Psychological & Personality Science.


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The Mystery of Confidence Solved

Confidence is a rare commodity. Only few of us have a lot of it and everybody wishes they had more of it. Confident people seem happier, more fulfilled and more likely to get to the top of their chosen profession. But what’s the secret? What can we do to boost our confidence?


One: [tweet_dis]Don’t make excuses. Confident people take responsibility for themselves, and they don’t blame others for their misfortunes. In this sense, confidence is closely linked to courage.[/tweet_dis]


Two: Embrace fear. Confront the things that most scare you and your confidence will grow and grow. Nobody gets to where they want in life without taking a few risks. Anyway, you often find that your perception of something is a lot more scary than the reality of it. As President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, ‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.’


Three:  [tweet_dis] Avoid too much comfort. Dreams die a quick death when you stay in your comfort zone, so take expeditions out of it as often as you possibly can.  [/tweet_dis]Whether this is travelling to new and challenging destinations or meeting new people, you have to keep diversifying your experience or your self-confidence will start to atrophy.


Four: They don’t procrastinate. Confidence and commitment go hand-in-hand, that’s a fact of life. There’s no use in lazing around and making excuses for not doing what really has to be done.


Five: Be yourself – genuinely and proudly. People who are too obsessed with what others think of them will never gain the confidence they need to strike out on their own. Individuality and the bravery to be yourself will give you a bedrock of confidence to help you achieve anything.

The Secret of Happiness in 5 Easy Steps

What is it that happy and fulfilled people do that makes them so different to failures and depressives? A new book, 1000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently by spiritual advisors Marc and Angel, seeks to answer that question.

Here are their top five tips for a happier existence:

  1. Spend time with people you have fun with and who love and respect you. You will have a much better time in their company and won’t feel pressure to impress or conform to someone else’s expectations of you.
  2. Don’t avoid life’s problems and challenges. You shouldn’t be a slave to your problems, you should be able to overcome them by confronting them head-on. Action and discipline are the key requirements here. Don’t ignore or evade the trickier aspects of life as this will mean you are living in a state of denial. Ultimately that will only lead to misery.
  3. Be honest about everything. You can’t live a fulfilled life without being honest about what you want, what you need and who you want to be with. The Ancient Greek adage ‘know thyself’ is so important here – you cannot begin to be happy unless you know who you are and are satisfied with it.
  4. Make yourself your main priority. This isn’t about being selfish, it’s about taking care of your needs. Far too many people invest all their energy in trying to please others or change their lives, when in fact they ought to focus on themselves first.
  5. Be yourself – always and forever. Everybody is an individual and there’s no point trying to be someone else – that’s a surefire recipe for un-happiness. You have thoughts and feelings that are completely unique and you should be proud of that.

The importance of being happy

“Happiness” is one of the main goals we set for ourselves. And for good reason! Not only does having a sense of joy and purpose enrich us emotionally, it also has a huge impact on our physical health, our ability to be productive and even how long we’ll live.

Gay-therapy…. huh?!

Gay-therapy, also-known-as: “Gay-affirmative”, or “gay friendly” therapy, it corrects and tries to heal all of the previous attempts to change ones sexual orientation.

With all of the wide ranged attempts to change, or alter someone’s sexual orientation it is nothing but a misguided perception that being gay is a choice, or a decision that one makes for their own life. Therapy ‘solutions’ such as reparative therapy, or Sexual Orientation Change Efforts have been looked down upon and discredited by most if not all mental health professions, AMA, and religious concerns have been beginning to being taken care of by gays with their own religious traditions.

When dealing with the pressure of others’ beliefs, or comments, it is helpful to remember that it is “okay to be gay”. People who have recently come out, or are preparing to may also be dealing with anxiety, depression, or a number of other mental disorders, branching off from the anti-gay attitude the general society gives off.

Therapy already traditionally helps individuals who deal with anxiety, depression, etc. Adding therapy to dealing with realizing your gay, or coming out, or dealing with triggering acts of bullying, is able to be dealt with in an open and welcoming manner.

Sometimes the therapist may question if some of the idealizations you had as a child about being gay still make sense to you as an adult, if this is causing a block in your life. Thinking of the block as some inside force against you, or an enemy is not the route to take, however to look at it as something you used to keep you safe, i.e. a security blanket.

Some can describe the feeling of being blocked like falling in love repeatedly with someone who is not emotionally available at the moment. Then the pattern is monitored to see where it is coming from. Understanding these things doesn’t mean you won’t continue the pattern, but however will make you more conscious about perusing that certain person or not.

Overcoming addictions is a wonderful motivation tactic to help you to seek gay therapy. When you are not addicted to something, your emotional side of your personality is much more reachable and attainable.  Gay ‘positive’ therapists can help you deal with negative messages you may obtain and keep buried deep inside, and then replace them with more powerful, positive, of your true self. Therapy can help those who want a better hold onto their lives without the thought in the back of their mind that they are being judged.