Tag Archives: homosexuality

Coming To Terms With Your Sexuality

Coming to terms with your own sexuality is always a complicated and unique experience.

There are a lot of opinions out there. Some will tell you what you are feeling is just a phase. Some will tell you that you are just second guessing yourself, and to let that idea go. Others will try to get you to believe that what they are saying is the truth.

Ignore them. Ignore them all. No one can tell you how to feel, or who to love.

The only person who can uncover the truth is yourself.

If you are struggling to come to terms with the fact that you might be gay, know that you are not alone. Many struggle with these exact issues. And there is a way to deal with it.

You need to spend some time to re-evaluate yourself.

Go somewhere quiet where you can be alone, and think. This is key! You need to think. Think about who you are, what makes you you. Remember all of the positive things about you, and know that no matter what your sexuality is, it does not determine your self-worth.

Imagining yourself as both heterosexual and homosexual – ignore social norms and figure out which one feels more natural to you. When you imagine yourself kissing someone, is it always a woman? Do you find women attractive, and in more than just a physical way? Which gender makes your heart race and palms sweat more?

Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, pansexual – they are all just labels used to describe types of love. Focus less on the labels and more on your feelings.

How you feel is more important than how other people might label you.

Coming to terms with your sexuality takes time. It won’t happen over night. You’ll go through some emotions, very similar to the Five Stages of Grief.

1. Denial – “No, I’m not gay. I can’t be.”

2. Anger – “Why is this happening to me?”

3. Bargaining – “Maybe if I experiment a little I’ll find out I’m not actually gay…”

4. Depression – “I can’t believe I might be gay”

… until finally you come to the most important stage:

5. Acceptance.

Accepting your sexuality (no matter what it is) is a profound experience. It’s this moment where your mind suddenly becomes crisp and clear.

You stop, and realise that, yes, this is your sexuality and that it isn’t that bad. When you accept your sexuality, you will feel this huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. Suddenly, everything falls into place. All your problems have a source and all your feelings have a reason. Suddenly, you can’t stop smiling.

Some people have always known that they were gay. It takes others a long time to come to terms with their own sexuality.

No pace is wrong, or too slow. You have to take your time and really feel confident in yourself.

No one can tell you what to be. If you’re gay, you’re gay! You cannot decide to be gay or straight. You can only decide how and when you will accept your sexuality.

And when, and if, you accept your sexuality, it will feel amazing.

Like everything in life, there are things you cannot change. You cannot change your sexuality. You can only change your reaction to it. If you choose to accept that you are gay (or straight, or bi, or whatever), it is a huge step in your growth as a person that needs to be celebrated.

It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

We Went To Gay Conversion Therapy Camp

Powerful documentary from Vice that needs to be watched.

Conversion therapy is the practice of “curing” gay people by trying to turn them straight through counselling and lifestyle restrictions. The practice dates back to the early Freudian period, when homosexuality was considered pathological and attempts to treat it were deemed appropriate. Today, however, homosexuality has been removed from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental disorders, and conversion therapy is considered ineffective, harmful, and potentially deadly.

Regardless of a nationwide battle toward the acceptance of same­-sex marriage and equal rights for gay people, conversion therapy is still a problem, and it’s being practiced every single day in the United States and throughout the world.

Also: Did Gay Conversion Therapy Work For This Couple? Meet The McCardles

In this special report, VICE gets exclusive access to one of the hundreds of gay-conversion-therapy organisations, groups, and sessions in the United States. At the Journey into Manhood program, men pay more than $600 to attend a weekend retreat where they participate in exercises and activities the staff members claim will help them battle their same-sex ­orientation. The only qualification to become a staff member is to have successfully completed the program.

The report meets with the founder of reparative therapy, Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, who is illegally practicing on minors in the State of California, and investigates the controversial legal battle to fight conversion therapy for individuals under 18 years of age. We also travel to the annual Gay Christian Network Conference, speak with former “ex-gay” leaders including John Smid of Love in Action, who is now married to his gay partner, and hear the grueling stories of the individuals who have survived this brutal practice.

Watch the full documentary here.

Sigmund Freud’s Surprising Viewpoint On Homosexuality Revealed in New Letter

Although most of us consider homosexuality as a perfectly normal, acceptable identity, a small minority of people still consider it as a mental illness; something to be cured. Up until 1990 the World Health Organisation classed homosexuality as a mental disorder.

And, although things are certainly more progressive when it comes to the way we see identities and sexual orientations, cures for homosexuality are still far too common. Cures that take place now include ‘therapy’ which is usually led by religious followers and aims to rid the patient of the sin by telling them that homosexuality will send them to hell and in some places there are even ‘corrective’ rapes.


During the 20th century, these sorts of cures and beliefs were more prevalent which is why one concerned parent sent a letter to renowned psychiatrist Sigmund Freud, begging him for help. But, as Freud’s response suggested, he didn’t feel that homosexuality was anything to be worried about.

“I gather from your letter that your son is a homosexual. I am most impressed by the fact that you do not mention this term yourself in your information about him. May I question you why you avoid it? Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation; it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function, produced by a certain arrest of sexual development.

Many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them. (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime – and a cruelty, too. If you do not believe me, read the books of Havelock Ellis.”

Freud also explained that when it comes to ‘cures’ for homosexuality, “the result of treatment cannot be predicted.”

It’s a shame that people didn’t pay attention to Freud when the letter was written in 1935 as clearly he was ahead of his time, but hopefully now that the letter is on display at the Museum of Sexology in London (as part of its Wellcome Collection), Freud’s words will be able to encourage more accepting viewpoints.



New Jersey Judge Rules Labeling Homosexuality A ‘Disease’ In Gay Conversion Therapy Ads Is Fraud

Superior Court Judge Peter F. Barsio Jr has ruled that labeling homosexuality ‘a disease’ in adverts for controversial gay conversion therapy is fraud.

The ruling came this week, with the judge saying making such claims in marketing was a violation of New Jersey’s consumer protection laws.

“It is a misrepresentation in violation of the CFA (Consumer Fraud Act), in advertising or selling conversion therapy services to describe homosexuality, not as being a normal variation of human sexuality, but as being a mental illness, disease, disorder, or equivalent… advertising or selling conversion therapy services, to include specific ‘success’ statistics when there is no factual basis for calculating such statistics.”

Judge Peter F. Barsio Jr

The state judge made the ruling as part of a consumer fraud lawsuit filed against Jews Offering New Alternatives for Healing (JONAH), a New Jersey-based conversion therapy provider.

The Southern Poverty Law Center brought the lawsuit on behalf of four gay ex-JONAH clients, claiming the group used ‘deceptive practices’ to lure clients to pay for gay-to-straight therapy – which can cost more than $10,000 a year, reports NBC.

‘Conversion’ or ‘reparative’ therapy is the attempt by individuals, often posing as professionals, to try and alter the sexuality of lesbian, gay or bisexual patients.

“This ruling is monumental and devastating to the conversion therapy industry. This is the principal lie the conversion therapy industry uses throughout the country to peddle its quackery to vulnerable clients. Gay people don’t need to be cured, and we are thrilled that the court has recognized this.”

David Dinielli, SPLC’s deputy legal director


LGB Seniors Face High Levels of Homophobia, Study Shows

One of the biggest challenges faced by our aging population is how they will be cared for as they get older. One top of physical and mental health stability, some elderly people may find themselves having to go to care institutions or relying on the help of friends and family to get by.

Consider the problems of an aging queer population then who don’t just have to face care issues but must also consider homophobia and discrimination when making their future care decisions.

Given that many of the UKs senior were alive before homosexuality was decriminalised in 1967, many may have faced persecution for their sexuality in the past. They may have even been kicked out of homes, fired from jobs or just generally been mistreated because of it. So it’s understandable that in later life, as the UK becomes more accepting of LGBT people, that LGB seniors would want to finally be treated with respect.


Sadly though, according to a Stonewall survey about the matter, not only are LGB seniors facing high levels of homophobia, but they are also deeply concerned that the care available to them cannot accommodate or understand their needs as LGB people.

According to their findings (which were taken from LGB people over the age of 55), LGB seniors are more likely to have histories of poor mental health, are more likely to suffer from anxiety (one in three people) and depression (two in five people), are more likely to take drugs (1 in 11 LGB seniors as opposed to 1 in 50 heterosexual seniors) and drink alcohol more often too (45% drink regularly in comparison to 31% of heterosexuals). Their report also stated that half of all LGB seniors feel as though their sexuality will have a negative impact on their life as they get older.

John, from London told Stonewall that “There is a severe lack of understanding about the particular needs of older lesbian and gay people, especially from some faith-based organisations that provide care services”, meanwhile Rita from the South East added that “Although things are improving, there is still a lot of ignorance at least, homophobia at worst, among health and social care people.”

While there’s hope that a lack of understanding could be improved with proper training and so on, the UK’s population needs this assistance now and cannot wait years down the line when a care worker suddenly realises that LGB discrimination has no right being in the workplace. Furthermore, the life expectancy of UK citizens is now a massive 81 years and is expected to rise with improvements to medical treatment – this means that more of us will need care than ever and that more of us stand a likelihood of being discriminated against because of our identities.

It’s unclear just what’s being done to combat this but with Stonewall being such a prominent group, there’s hope that their new study will change the homophobic tides.

Source: Stonewall

Commonwealth Games Opens with a Gay Kiss

Glasgow Commonwealth Games opening ceremony made sure to drawing attention to the nation’s support for gay marriage, with the opening ceremony featuring a gay kiss between actor John Barrowman and a male dancer, to celebrate equality in Scotland.

The kiss was accompanied by shouts of “here’s to equality in Scotland”, and other backing dancers pulling party poppers.

It’s also no surprise, that just seconds after the reference appeared on screen, Twitter erupted.

Campaigners have called for statements in support of LGBT rights, given the number of Commonwealth countries which still currently criminalise homosexuality.

When Will the Republican Party Move Out of the Stone Age?

In the US, while more and more Republicans declare their support for same-sex marriage, the party remains officially opposed to gay unions. Its National Platform calls for a ban on such measures, going as far as to amend the Constitution to put a stop to sexual equality.

A recent Huffington Post survey showed that 42 state branches of the Republican Party (out of a possible 50) have totally ignored same-sex marriage in their respective platforms. In Texas, for example, Grand Old Party members believe that “the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society and contributes to the breakdown of the family unit.”

But nationally there are reasons to be cheerful. Dissidence is growing within the ranks and LGBT-tolerant Republicans are pressing for a total rewrite of the National Platform in 2016. Over the last year or so there have been valiant attempts in Indiana and Nevada to do away with opposition to gay marriage, but Republican activists were defeated.

Pressure groups such as the Young Conservatives for the Freedom to Marry is spending over $1 million to re-write the National Platform. Leader Tyler Deaton is devoted to abolishing anti-LGBT rhetoric within the GOP.

Freedom to Marry, the organisation that Deaton’s group is affiliated to, successfully campaigned to persuade the Democrat Party to include support for same-sex unions in its National Platform. Freedom to Marry’s national director Marc Solomon isn’t optimistic about pulling off the same coup in the GOP.

‘We’re not doing what we did with the Democratic platform,’ he said. ‘In that, we called for freedom-to-marry language, because that’s where the party was. And it was still a heavy lift and a push because the president wasn’t there yet. In this platform, what we’re saying is…

“Look, we recognize there is a mix of opinions on this issue and that people’s opinions are changing quickly on it.”‘

Republican Party 01