Tag Archives: Lesbian Couples

Seven Perfect Ways to Propose

It’s almost the holiday season, and love is in the air!

You’ve been dating your girlfriend for a while, and you’re absolutely sure that she’s the one. All that’s left is to pop the question.

Treasure Hunt

Take her to the spot where you first met, and guide her step by step on a treasure hunt for items based on your memories together. For example, bury a copy of the first letter you ever left on her doorstep, or hide a box of your favorite photographs.

For the last step of the treasure hunt, lead her somewhere where all of your friends and family are waiting. Then get down on one knee.

Surprise Proposal – Lesbian

Musical Number

Using her favorite song, a song that has a lot of significance to your relationship, or an original composition, create a musical slideshow of photographs.

In the final photo, ask her to be your wife.

Best same sex proposal !!! (warning will make you cry)

Graduation Day

Graduation isn’t just about finishing college, it’s also about starting a new life, and graduation proposals are becoming increasingly popular. With the permission from the party organizers, plan a graduation party proposal that your girlfriend will remember – present her with a ring as her friends and family members cheer.


Commencement and emotional (Lesbian) Proposal 2015

Love Languages

Compose a song, poem or story for your girlfriend, incorporating inside jokes or words that only you two understand. Similarly, if you’ve traveled the world together or if you each come from different cultures, incorporate words, phrases and idioms from different languages. After all, is one language really enough to express how much you love her?

Lesbians Travel World: The Big Marriage Proposal in the Philippines

High on Love

Push her out of a plane. Not maliciously – do it during a skydiving trip. While you’re both twirling through the clouds, your friends will write “Will you marry me?” on the ground in large cutout letters so that your girlfriend can read it from the sky. When she lands, the question will knock her off her feet again.


Lesbian Marriage Proposal – Andie & Lucy 10-18-14

Rose Ceremony

Different colors of the same flower have different meanings. For example, pink roses mean gratitude while lavender roses signify enchantment.

Arrange an intimate rose ceremony with your closest friends and family. Each guest will read the meaning of the flower – “A pink rose for the gratitude your girlfriend feels for having you in her life” – and then hand it to your girlfriend. At the end of the ceremony, she’ll have a bouquet of roses, a heart full of love and a girlfriend who’s dropping down to one knee.


Kisha’s Surprise Proposal (The Lesbian Edition)

BONUS: The couple in this video isn’t lesbian, but it’s still a wonderful idea.

If your girlfriend is a Disney enthusiast or a musical theatre nerd, enlist her friends to dress up as her favorite characters and sing. How can your girlfriend say no to a soulful rendition of “Kiss the Girl”?

A Disney Surprise Proposal (Stephanie and Casey)


15 Most Annoying Lesbian Couples On TV

Lesbian relationships on television are generally love-hate. Whether we love one character and hate the other, we love the representation but hate both characters, or whatever the exact storyline is, it’s hard to find a lesbian couple we actually like and want to learn more about.

What is it that has us hating these women so deeply? Well, no two are exactly alike, but generally, they’re relationships we wouldn’t really want to see in our own lives: The women break each other’s hearts in such terrible ways and still stay together? WTF? No one wants to admit that happens in real life, so we don’t want to see it on TV, either.

How many of these couples make you angry, too?

Shane and Jenny (The L Word)


Truly, The L Word brought us so many relationships to hate – but Shane and Jenny is one of the most universally hated ones. Realistically, we couldn’t picture Escape Artist Shane hooking up with someone with so many obvious attachment issues – ahem, Jenny – or crazy narcissistic Jenny just completely getting over the fact that Shane literally just hooked up with Jenny’s girlfriend.

No matter how much Jenny might be a clinger or a hypocrite, she wouldn’t forgive Shane that fast. And the only way that Shane would have been able to pick Jenny after everything that her friends constantly told her would be if she was still picturing Season One Jenny, the sweet and innocent one.

But Shane and Jenny barely even knew each other back then – Shane had to have been able to see the crazy hanging out.

Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy (The L Word)

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It’s not too often that you can predict the catastrophe that is a particular relationship right from the onset. One of these rare examples is Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy from She-Bar in The L Word. These two are obviously deranged from the very beginning – I mean, who wants to be constantly referred to as someone’s lover? Not only does this set a precedence of ownership, but it also implies that Cindy is only good for one thing – and Dawn isn’t the only one she’s getting it from.

Then again, Dawn isn’t exactly a peach either. Would I say she deserved to be cheated on? Probably not – but she definitely deserved to have some bad stuff happen to her.

Camilla and Mimi (Empire)

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This is a relationship that literally only exists to fulfill a possibility once marriage equality was legalized in the United States. Literally – this was confirmed by series co-creator Danny Strong. These two don’t love each other, and they belong to that portion of the (hypothetical) queer community that anti-equality advocates say will destroy the fabric of “traditional marriage” – and as such I’d like to formally reject them as representatives of lesbians and bisexual women.

Samantha and Maria (Sex and the City)


Who would have ever pictured Samantha with a woman? Answer: No one, because the writers didn’t let us believe there was a chance. Then, suddenly, plot twist – she likes the ladies, too. To prove this, she ends up with a woman she has nothing in common with – no chemistry, even. We just don’t like that. And then when Maria has to basically turn crazy before they break up? Yeah, I don’t buy it – there wasn’t even anything there to start with.

Tammy and Sarah (Transparent)


This is one that was pretty much doomed from the start, even if fans didn’t want to admit it right away. Realistically, if you leave your husband for your girlfriend, it’s probably not going to work out too great. When Tammy reveals her “true colors” and basically refuses to even acknowledge Sarah’s kids – hello, they’re part of your life now, too – Sarah gets out before things get too horrible. Of course, if Sarah had just left her husband before hooking up with someone else, maybe this whole situation could have been avoided. I guess we’ll never know, since the two both ended up bitter and single and alone.

Emily and Sara (Pretty Little Liars)


Okay, so these two were never really a couple, but the writers let us think they were going to go there for just a little too long. (Shame on you for intentionally queerbaiting a seriously believable queer character, by the way – not nice!) Anyway, the writers let us think that Emily and Sara were actually going to become a thing – and then had Emily knock her upside the face. You go, Emily.

Emily and Paige (Pretty Little Liars)


This is another one that had me yelling at the TV – but Em hadn’t learned yet. I mean, would you be able to form a relationship with someone who legit just tried to kill you a few episodes back? I couldn’t, but maybe that’s not a deal-breaker for our Emily. There are more than a few times when Paige royally screws up and I just wanted her to move away or get taken by A or something. Sigh. At least things finally ended – even if it did take just a little too long.

Adriana and Gia (90210)


Maybe I’m just a little bitter about seeing someone “try out lesbianism” as a way to deal with their boy problems, but Adriana and Gia’s relationship was a mess of stuff we don’t want to deal with. It even spawned a music video – a terrible, terrible music video. Seriously, if you haven’t heard the song, take a listen and see how much angrier you are at the couple afterward.

Tess and Lou (Lip Service)


It’s rough to be with someone who refuses to come out of the closet, and while it’s a completely respectable choice to stay in the closet, it’s not fair to force someone else back into the closet, essentially, to suit your own needs. It’s not her fault you’re not out of the closet, and it definitely wasn’t her choice. These two weren’t bad people, but they weren’t right for each other – no matter how cute they were together.

Nikki and Dutch (The Strain)


I love Dutch so much – even if she is a bit wishy-washy in her relationships. But I’d rather see her with Fet than Nikki. Hello, Nikki completely abandoned you for a long time, and stole all your stuff. Why would you even consider getting back together?! Stick with Fet – he’s good for you, and he’ll actually step up and help save the friggin’ world. Nikki would rather fight with you than fight next to you. You deserve so much better!

Leslie and Clarice (Chicago Fire)


Call me crazy, but the trope about an ex coming back pregnant and the two getting back together for this new family is… Strange. Maybe it actually happens, what do I know – but this couple showed why it’s probably not the best idea – at least not for everyone.

Willow and Kennedy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)


Lesbians aren’t just interchangeable – and the pairing of Willow and Kennedy definitely lacked the depth that Willow and Tara shared. This whole relationship seemed like an excuse for gratuitous onscreen canoodling, and it really didn’t feel like Willow gave a rat’s ass about Kennedy. (Not that she should have been in love with her or anything, but there should have been some chemistry somewhere.)

Jeri and Wendy (Jessica Jones)


This couple basically exists to remind us that rich person + rich person does not automatically mean their relationship will be happy and successful and magical. In fact, these two are pretty messed up right from the start. This is what happens when you cheat on your wife – be the bigger person and break up before pursuing the side chick! Come on!

Dana and Tonya (The L Word)

Tonya might just be the most horrible girlfriend on this entire list – I mean, she allocated Dana’s money to herself, and killed her cat. Who in their right mind would get engaged to someone like that?! You mess with animals, you get an immediate “no” from me, and how about a little autonomy in finances, too? If your woman wants to give you some money, she should feel free to do so without any pressure from you. Especially if you’ve already got your own decent paying job. Buh-bye, Tonya, we won’t miss you.


Lindsay and Melanie (Queer as Folk)


These two are basically the epitome of lesbian negative stereotypes – from their clothes, to their infidelity, to their man-hating ways (we’re looking at you, Melanie). It was one of the first lesbian relationships openly shown on TV, so we really wanted to like the couple. But it’s obvious that this show was written to cater the gay men and not the lesbians. It’s almost as if it’s denying the existence of lesbians in the Pittsburgh gay scene entirely.

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34 Questions You Should Answer Together Before Getting Married

Now that marriage equality has passed, many of us are tempted to get married quickly – to avoid the laws being reversed. Unfortunately, we don’t have the same liberty that heterosexual couples have – we can’t just get divorced and leave it at that. Every divorce in the queer community “validates” someone who opposed gay marriage in the first place, and that’s a statistic we really can’t afford to be a part of – no matter how wrong it might be.

If you want to make sure you’re getting married for the right reasons, go through this list with your partner – you should be able to answer almost every question. Expect a little hesitation on some; after all, no one is perfect, and the human brain is full of doubts. But if you find yourself struggling with every question, or a large majority, maybe your relationship shouldn’t take the next step.

1. Are you willing to be the best version of yourself?

As romantic as it is to think that you’re perfect just how you are, and as much as you want your partner to think you’re already perfect… Truthfully, you’re not, and you need to understand that. There’s a big problem if you’re convinced that you don’t need to change. No one is perfect, and everyone has room for improvement.

2. What could you be doing better?

In order for a relationship to be ready to progress to marriage, both partners will need to focus on improving themselves – not how to improve each other. No one will really change unless they actually have the motivation to change, so if you can’t identify any weaknesses in your loving style, you’re probably not loving her to the best of your ability. No one is perfect – and marriage is a constant journey of self-improvement.

3. Does she make you better or worse?

There’s this romanticized image of the whole “bad girl vibe”, but really, if you’re with a self-proclaimed “bad girl”, you’re probably going to get hurt. Make sure the person you’re going to marry is someone who actually makes your life better. She should also motivate you to do better – the woman for you is the one who will be your cheerleader when you need it the most.

4. Do you fully accept each other – flaws and all?

Just because she wants you to do and be your best, that doesn’t mean that she is allowed to have problems with you on a personal level. Everyone is unique, so if either of you is expecting the other to conform to your personal idea of “perfect”, there’s a problem.

5. Will you stick it out through the tough times?

Things are going to be hard sometimes – and there are going to be times when you want to throw your hands up and be done with the whole situation. Are you willing to push yourself through those hard times for the eventual sunshine on the other side?

6. Will you comfort her when she cries?

Not every day is going to be happy – and being able to be someone’s metaphorical shoulder to cry on is a huge part of a happy relationship. Note that I didn’t say you’ll fix all her problems – it would be unfair for either of you to expect that. You can help her through her dark times without being her light and savior.

7. Do you love her, and are you willing to make sure the love sticks around?

Falling in love happens by chance – but staying in love happens by choice. It will take a great amount of effort to love her 50 years from now, just the same as you love her now. If you’re not ready to make your love for her a priority in life, you’re not ready to get married.

8. Who are you, by yourself?

If you don’t know who you are on your own, you’re not going to be a good partner – no exceptions. You need to fully understand yourself and be able to come up with a short description of what you do, what you want to do, and your personal goals. No one else can answer this one for you.

9. Does this relationship make you happy?

Nothing is going to make you happy 100% of the time, but your relationship should have more happiness than sadness – otherwise, you’re better off single. It’s actually scientifically proven that a woman in an unhappy relationship is going to be less healthy and happy overall – so make sure your relationship really is bringing out the best.

10. Do you feel happy when you wake up next to each other?

Whether the two of you live together yet or not (I strongly believe you should live together before you decide you want to get married, but not everyone feels the same way), you need to know that seeing her face is going to make you happy – even if she gets to sleep in and you don’t. Does she make you happy when you’re half asleep?

11. Do you feel trapped? Does she?

There’s a big to-do about staying in a relationship because you’ve invested time in it. But, realistically, this isn’t a good foundation for your relationship. That time will never be returned to you, so staying in a relationship just because you’ve put so much into it is a sure way to set yourself up for lifelong disappointment. If it feels like an obligation, you’re not going to magically be satisfied in the future – get out before it goes too far.

12. Are we partners, or just girlfriends?

In a happy, healthy relationship, both partners will be equals. Maybe you subscribe to some traditional roles in your relationship, but in terms of expectations and compromise, you should both be represented in a way that feels fair to you. This doesn’t necessarily mean 50-50, but it should be balanced in terms of your own needs – both of your needs.

13. Do you have fun together?

Just like the happiness question, it’s not going to be fun all the time, but the two of you should be able to have a good time and make each other laugh. Otherwise, the whole thing will feel like work, and it doesn’t really matter who you marry.

14. Do you have fun when we’re not together, too?

If either of you is dependent on the other person for your happiness, you’ll never truly be happy. You need to be your own person, and you need to be able to spend time apart without being sad about it!

15. Does she let you be yourself?

Relationships require compromise, but you should never feel that you’re compromising parts of yourself. If she’s pruned away something important to you, is it worth it to say goodbye to that part of your life forever, or would you be happier single and free to be yourself? (Hint: You should always pick B.)

16. Why are you in this relationship?

There aren’t exactly right and wrong answers here, but exploring why you’re in a relationship will help you decide if it’s worth being in it or not. If you feel like you’re only in the relationship because it’s easier than breaking up, you’re definitely letting yourself – and your partner – down.

17. What does the future hold?

Not everyone has a concrete plan about what the future holds for them, but some of us do – and it’s not good to live entirely in the now. You should know where the relationship is headed, and you should both be on the same page. You should be confident that your future plans align with one another, without necessarily being exactly the same.

18. Are you growing together or apart?

People change over time – it’s inevitable, and that’s a good thing. But not everyone will grow in the same direction. Are you and your partner still going the same way, or has one of you detoured? It’s possible to get back on track once you’ve gone apart, but it’ll take a steady effort from both of you, and you’ll need to make sure you’re back on the same page before you say “I do”.

19. Do you believe you can create the life you want with this woman?

This is something we often overlook – is your dream future actually with her, or is she just a fill-in? The perfect woman to marry will have a similar vision, and the two of you will work together to create it.

20. Do you share the same core values?

Your opinions are one of the areas you’re definitely going to disagree on sometimes, but the important issues – the ones you live and die for – should be aligned. If you’re afraid to even talk about the big issues, you’re not right for each other. Try to have the talk now, and see if you were hiding things for no reason. If it turns into a big thing, it’s better to get out than to keep your feelings bottled up indefinitely.

21. Do you support her passions?

You don’t have to share them, or even understand them. I get pretty passionate about schedules and planners and journals, where my girlfriend would rather live each day completely separate from past and future events. But she supports my planning nature, and she allows me to plan for her a little, too. (It brings me joy.) The woman you’re meant to marry is going to have her own things that are important to her. Can you stick by them?

22. Do you trust her?

Trust is one of the most important components in a healthy relationship, and while insecurities are sure to arise from time to time, you should generally trust the things your partner tells you. If your partner has destroyed your trust, or if your trust is still damaged from a previous partner, you’re probably not going to last very long – better to save your money and not get married.

23. Is she a good person?

We tend to back our girlfriends up, no matter what, but realistically we can tell if they’re good people or not. Would you stick up for her even if you weren’t romantically involved? Knowing what you know about her now, would you have still gone on that first date, if you had to do it all over again?

24. Are you attracted to her?

Your partner doesn’t need to be exactly your type – after all, this is usually a pretty arbitrary guess about what we really want. But you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to. This attraction isn’t necessarily on the physical level – in fact, it shouldn’t just be on a physical level – but it should still be there.

25. Are you her partner or her parent?

The letters may be the same, but the feelings couldn’t be more different. Taking care of your partner is all good and well, but if you feel like you have to raise her – for whatever reason – you will grow tired of it after a while. Imagine having kids with this person – would she help you out, or would she just be another child to take care of?

26. Is she your parent or partner?

It needs to go both ways. You should both be taking care of each other, and on fairly equal ground as far as maturity goes. Neither of you should feel the need to handle business on behalf of the other one. Trust me, it’ll get old – fast.

27. Will you take care of her when she’s sick?

I know I said that you shouldn’t be someone’s mother – but you should feel comfortable taking care of her when she needs it. Would you be willing to help her recover after a surgery, or even just a common cold? If the thought of helping her recover is not a pleasant one, she’s not the one for you.

28. Does she back you up?

You’re going to disagree sometimes – that’s a given. But you should be confident that your partner would have your back if you needed her to. She should support you and be on your team – even when you’re apart. If you rise together and fall alone, you’re doing it wrong.

29. Do you worry about a future without her?

It’s important that you want your partner to be a firm fixture in your life, and you should be willing to do what it takes (within reason) to make sure she stays. But you shouldn’t worry that things are temporary. If it doesn’t feel permanent, it might not be – so pay attention!

30. Do you feel lucky to have her in your life?

In a perfect marriage, both partners will feel like the other is out of their league – but neither should feel like they are superior, in any way. Maybe one of you is better at that one thing than the other one is, but you should celebrate these things – not compare who’s better at what. Take her strengths as your collective strengths. After all, she’s there to lift you up.

31. Are you willing to look past her mistakes?

Since no one is perfect, it’s understandable that there are going to be mistakes sometimes. You should be able to say with absolute certainty that her little mistakes won’t be held against her forever. There are, of course, big mistakes that are hard to look past – but these mistakes are generally the downfall of a relationship anyway and shouldn’t be looked past. There is a fine line between “ride or die” and “sticking around for a trainwreck”.

32. Do you want to marry her, or do you think you have to?

Some people get engaged because it’s the “next logical step” in their relationship. But, realistically, not every relationship is supposed to end up in marriage. There are some people who have pledged lifelong devotion to each other but never been legally married. Likewise, there are marriages that only lasted a few months. Obviously, “commitment” and “marriage” are not mutually exclusive. Do you actually want to pledge your life to this woman, and get the government involved, or do you just think you need to because “that’s what you do”? If it’s the latter, rethink your situation – is she worth all this trouble for something you don’t even want?

33. How does this situation make you feel?

Your intuition is one of the best tools in your arsenal, so to speak – go with it. If your gut tells you this relationship is wrong (for example, if you’re not actually going through this list with your partner, but by yourself, because you’re afraid of what you’ll find out), it’s probably best to listen to it. Either the relationship really is wrong, or you have too many insecurities to be in a relationship right now.

34. Did you actually answer these questions together?

If you were afraid to go through this list with your partner, for whatever reason, the two of you don’t belong together. Part of your brain probably already knew this, which is why you didn’t want to go over it together. Right? There shouldn’t be any secrets between you and your future spouse – and that includes doubts about the relationship. If you’re not confident that your relationship is meant to stand the test of time, it’s probably not, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. It’s only wrong if you’re denying your incompatibility – no one deserves to be lied to, even to save their feelings.

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New Dutch Study Says Queer Women More Likely To Divorce, Than Gay Men

According to the national statistics office in the Netherlands – the CBS -women are more likely to get married than men, but their marriages are more likely to break down.

Holland became the first country in the world to approve same sex weddings, when the first same-sex couples tied the knot on April 1, 2001.

Since then, nearly 700 lesbian couples and 500-600 gay couples have gotten married in the country every year.

Of them, around 200 female and 100 male couples will get divorced, the CBS said.

Of the 580 weddings between two women sealed in 2005, 30% had ended 10 years later.

Among men, the 10-year divorce rate is around 15%. One in five weddings between a man and woman ends in divorce.

One reason for the low divorce rate among gay men could be the fact they tend to get married when older, the CBS said.

One in five gay men is over the age of 55 when he gets married.

Acceptance Tanja Ineke, chairwoman of the LGBT rights lobby group COC, told broadcaster Nos that the higher divorce rate among women may be because lesbians are less accepted.

There is more attention paid to discrimination involving gay men. Discrimination against women is less visible but certainly exists. Lesbians often feel they are taken less seriously.’

Despite the divorce rate, there is reason for celebration, she said.

15 years ago the Netherlands was the first country to allow same sex couples to get married. Since then, 20 countries have followed suit. And that is really great.’

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Thoughts You Have When All Your Friends Are Getting Married

I have a lot of married friends. Maybe it’s because I mostly hang around with people who are much older than me.

Or at least, that’s what I used to think. Lately, though, more and more of my younger friends have been getting married.

I think part of it might have something to do with gay marriage being legalized here – those friends who were waiting until all of us could be married, don’t have to wait anymore.

Maybe it’s because the gay friends can get married now, and a few of them already have.

It seems fast to me, but I’m not one to judge their paths – if they’re ready to get married, that’s wonderful for them – and really, I’m so happy for you, but…

Are you sure you’re ready for such a big commitment?

I feel like a lot of people laugh off the commitment that is “marriage”. Okay, maybe seeing it as a lifelong institution worked better when people only lived to the grand-old age of 40, but if your options are “break up or get married”, maybe that’s not the right reason to get married.

Have you thought about the changes your life will face?

I’ve dated people who genuinely believed that, once you married someone, you pretty much owed them frequent sex and home-cooked meals every night. That’s great, if that’s what you both want, but marriage doesn’t take away autonomy.

Have you guys even lived with each other yet?

I know the verdict is still out on this one, but I couldn’t imagine marrying someone I’d never even lived with. Can you imagine – spending no more than three days at a time together, and then suddenly you’re pledging to spend the rest of your lives together? I couldn’t.

Have you had sex yet?

This is another issue that’s a bit divided. There are so many good reasons for not having sex with someone, so anyone who feels they should wait until they’re married is definitely entitled to stay with that thought. But if you haven’t at least talked about sex with your partner, how will you know if you’re compatible? I think abstaining-until-marriage typically works out best with two people who both want to wait until they’re married.

Why are you in such a hurry?

Listen, everyone. The institution of marriage has been around for a long time – it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. And if you’re worried that some morally bankrupt politician is going to come in and screw everything up, well… You might even be right. But in most cases, marriages aren’t a have to situation, and if you’re rushing into it just because you have to, you’re not having a marriage – you’re just having a wedding.

What are you getting out of this?

For a long time, I thought being married meant tax breaks – but then I found out that’s not necessarily the case for poor people like me. I thought that being married meant a bunch of things that it doesn’t always mean. Even when you’re married, if you don’t have the support of whoever is backing the benefit you’re hoping to get (no matter why you don’t get their support), you’re out of luck. There are other criteria to meet.

Are you really sure?

Okay, I already asked this, but seriously it’s so important I’m going to ask it again. Are you actually sure you’re ready to be someone’s wife? Once you get married, you’re either married or divorced – “single” isn’t exactly a thing anymore. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a divorcee – but it’s not for everyone.)

Can you really handle risking half your stuff?

I know, the cliché is dated and most people don’t really take half of their ex’s stuff when they split. And then, of course, there are the people like me, who tend to hand off a certain portion of my stuff after a breakup (my exes usually invite themselves to it, actually). But could you handle the thought of her having every legal right to claim half of everything you owned – and sticking you with half of her debt, in some cases? That’s just not enough personal control for me.

If you don’t hate me yet, then I offer you congratulations.

Just because I’m too much of a control freak to get married right now, the institution of marriage is something that a lot of people dream of their whole lives. While it might be a little silly on the surface, I can’t pretend to understand how things are for you – I can only look at things from my perspective. Maybe you think like me and maybe you don’t. But that doesn’t mean I’m not totally happy for your wedding – as long as you’re not the type to go on and on about how much different your life is after you’re married. Yes, I know it’ll be different. That’s why I don’t want to get married yet.

As long as we can agree to keep the taunts to a minimum – don’t tell me how great being married is, and I won’t tell you how great not being married is – then I’m definitely going to be at your stupid wedding. I’ll be the one right in front taking most of the pictures.

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Saying Your “I Do’s”: Helpful Wedding Vow Ideas

Your wedding day is the special opportunity to announce to the world (okay, maybe just your family and friends) your love, devotion, and commitment to your partner.

So what in the world are you going to say when it’s time to say your wedding vows? Don’t worry, we’re here to help.

And while your vows are best said from your heart, here’s a look at some tips to help give you a little bit of inspiration when it comes to declaring your love to your new wife…

Start with Brainstorming

Grab and pen and paper and write down all of the reasons why you want to spend the rest of your life with your girl. You can chose a serious tone or keep it light-hearted and humorous…depending on your vibe as a couple.

Be Yourself

If you’re the romantic, then by all means, pour on the sentiment. If sticking with tradition is more your thing, then go with a more traditional wedding vow. And if you’re a jokester, then make your vows humorous. The point here is to always be yourself when writing your vows…that’s who she fell in love with in the first place, isn’t it?

Don’t be Afraid to Use Quotes

Is there a specific song lyric or line of a poem that says what you feel perfectly? Or maybe you want to include lines from the first movie you two saw together. If it has sentimental value or will remind her of a fun moment you two shared together, then you should totally add it to the vows. It’s sure to bring a smile to her lips.

Edit and Rewrite

Read over what you’ve written and cut out things that aren’t vital. It’s a good idea to try to keep it under three minutes…anything longer might start to seem like rambling. Have a friend or family member go over the vows with you to see how they sound. They can also tell you if the vows sound like your personality or if you’re trying too hard to impress and something’s getting lost in all of the words.


Say your vows out loud before the ceremony. Practice does make perfect after all. If you’re thinking of memorizing them, just be sure to have a copy handy in case you get too nervous in front of your beautiful bride and forget everything you were going to say.

Speak From the Heart

She’ll know it’s coming from the heart, so there’s no need to try to impress with fancy words or too many love poem quotes. Just be you and let your heart do the talking. It writes the best vows anyway!


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Capturing The Big Day: Tips For Finding A Great Wedding Photographer

Finding the perfect wedding photographer can sometimes be a stressful part of your wedding planning.

And it’s definitely going to be an investment in both time and money; yet most newly married couples will most likely agree that finding the perfect match in a photographer is worth the hassle.

But choosing a photographer to capture you and your partner’s big day doesn’t have to be as stressful as it may sound. With some planning ahead and a real vision of what the two of you want out of your wedding shots, you’ll be much more likely to find the right photographer to shoot your big day.

Here’s a look at some helpful tips to make finding that perfect wedding photographer a whole lot easier…


Settle on a Photography Style

Before you begin your photographer search, first you and your partner need to decide what type of photography style or look you want with your photos.

Are you looking for a more candid style, catching each other and your guest in the moment, or would you prefer the classic portrait type of shoot? Maybe you’d like a mix of both?

The point here is that some photographers may specialize in a specific shoot style, so make sure you know what you and your future wife want before choosing a photographer.


Do Your Homework

When it comes to finding the perfect photographer, research and word of mouth are the best ways to find the right one to shoot your wedding. Check out potential photographers’ websites and blogs, as their style will most likely show here, and they will probably also have samples of their work to look through as well.

It’s also a good idea to talk to married friends to see who they would recommend.


Remember the LGBT Factor

You need to know up front if potential photographers are willing to shoot a same-sex marriage. If he or she doesn’t state whether or not they shoot all types of weddings, be sure to call to find out.

You don’t want to find yourselves thinking you’ve found the perfect photographer only to find out they are too close-minded to shoot a wedding with two brides.


Set up Interviews and Request Portfolios

After you’ve narrowed down your list of potential photographers, now it’s time to meet with them to get a feel for how they would shoot your wedding. Be prepared to talk about your wedding style, your venue, and what you and your partner want out of your photos.

And be sure to check out their portfolios since that’s what’s really going to let you know if you like their photography style.


Make Sure Your Personalities Match

Sure, it’s not the photographer you’re marrying, but both of you should like him or her and actually bond with them. For instance, was one of your potential photographers instantly excited with your wedding vision and was already offering ideas too?

This is somebody you’ll have to be comfortable with shadowing your every move and capturing intimate shots, so it’s definitely important that you and your photographer click.

Once you’ve chosen a photographer, don’t forget to confirm him or her for your wedding day. Now you and your future wife to be will have one less thing to stress about when it comes to the wedding planning.

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Image source: Ali & Meenoo // Philadelphia, Pennsylvania // Photos courtesy of Tara Beth Photography

The Lesbian Engagement Ring Selfie: Tips For The Perfect Shot

In this day and age, ruled by social media, it’s pretty much a given that you’re going to share a huge life moment with all of your “friends.” And showing off your engagement ring is no exception.

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It’s a great way to get the world out there, especially to far away friend and family, that you’re now engaged.

This means you’ve got to put some planning into that engagement ring selfie. You’re going to post one anyway, so why not give them something to ooh and ahh over?

Here’s a look at some helpful tips for getting that perfect engagement ring selfie shot….

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Remove Other Jewelry

Your engagement ring is the star of the show, so you shouldn’t have any other jewelry on for your shot. Any other rings or even a bracelet will be competing with your ring, which should be the center of attention since you are announcing to the world that you’re getting married!
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Choose Proper Lighting

Yes, this may sound a bit technical and something reserved for professional photographers, but lighting plays a big key in how your ring will look in the picture. Soft, natural lighting will make your ring really look its best. The best lighting is on a cloudy day or after 4pm so you can avoid harsh shadows while still having the benefit of natural lighting.

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Play Around with Angles

Make sure you’re showing your ring at its best by playing around with different angles. Try angling your ring to the side to put more focus on it. Also capture the angle that best shows off what makes it unique. Perhaps it has a captivating stone or a special detail in the setting. Experiment with your angles to see which way showcases your ring the best.

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Don’t Zoom

This will compromise the quality of the photo. Hold the camera at an arm’s length to get the best, most detailed shot. You can always crop it from there. Using zoom risks having a more pixilated shot, which can take away the detail of the ring.

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Notice Your Background

Use the background of your selfie to help engage intrigue about the proposal. Did she propose on the beach or while you were on vacation? Then maybe you can capture the perfect ring selfie with a heart drawn in the sand and the surf coming in. If you were proposed to on vacation, pick a famous landmark and take your selfie with it as the backdrop. Not only will it make for great shot, but it will also capture the memory of being proposed to.

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Have a Steady Hand and Use Focus

You definitely don’t want to end up with a blurry picture of what looks like it could be a ring. Keep your hands steady while taking the shot. If you’re using your cell phone, take advantage of the camera’s burst mode, which snaps several frames per second so you can chose which one came out the best. And with proper focus, your shot will look all the more professional.

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Married With Children: How to Include Your Kids in Your Wedding

Whether you’ve been together for a long time and finally have the opportunity to tie the knot where you live, or you’ve just decided the timing is right to propose to your girlfriend, involving your children in your union will make it all the more special.

By including your children in your big day, you’ll not only give them plenty to be proud of, but also give them a renewed sense of assurance that you will all be committing to each other as a loving family.

And aside from the typical tradition of putting your kids in the bridal party, there are also other ideas that can be done either at the wedding ceremony, or in private as a family.

Here’s a look at some ways to get your children involved in your wedding plans…

Write Them Into Your Vows

This is a great way to make your kids feel special and included. And what better way to do that than when you’re speaking to each other from the heart while exchanging your vows.

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Have Them Walk You Down the Aisle

This works especially well if your children are older, but there doesn’t have to be any sort of age limit either. It’s not written in stone that you have to have your father or parents walk you down the aisle. Why not make your child feel like a real part of something by allowing him or her to walk with you.

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Let Them Make Something to Display

Kids love to be creative. And what better way to let them express their love for you than by allowing them to create something for your wedding to put on display. Or maybe they want to recite a poem for you and your partner. Whatever they have in mind, it will definitely come from the heart, and you’ll all be feeling the love all around.

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Put Them in the Wedding as Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Who says your bridal party has to consist of only adults? Having them be a part of the wedding party is the ultimate way to make them feel included. This works especially well if your child is too old to be a flower girl or ring bearer.

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Have a Family Bridal Shower

Of course they can always come to the regular bridal shower too, but by throwing your own family bridal shower (you, your partner, and the children) you’ll be able to celebrate with each other in a more private manner. Let them plan a game or help with baking a cake with you. It’s a great way to bond as a family and make them feel included and a part of the wedding festivities.

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Location, Location, Location: 5 Tips for Picking the Perfect Wedding Venue

If you and your girlfriend recently got engaged, chances are one of the things you’ve been thinking about is where to tie the knot.

Choosing a wedding venue is definitely one of the most important parts of the planning since it does dictate pretty much everything else involved with the ceremony like decorations and the size of your guest list.

Here are a few major tips to consider when it comes to picking out the perfect venue for you and your future wife…

Estimate Your Budget

How much are you willing to spend on your wedding venue? The venue will most likely take a large chunk out of your budget (unless you’re looking for a simple location like the backyard of your parents’ house), then you most likely won’t have to worry about large venue costs.

But if you’re looking for something else, be sure to shop around at the type of venue you’re looking for to see what the average cost is.

That way you’ll be sure to budget enough money for your location.

Figure out Your Wedding Day Style

The wedding style you and your partner envision having will definitely play a role in where you decide to have your wedding. You’ll also need to determine if you want a traditional or more non-traditional venue.

Plenty of traditional venues are most likely going to be well-equipped to handle a wedding, whereas a more non-traditional venue may require you to be responsible for a bit more of the details.

For example, most wedding ready venues often provide tables, chairs, linens, and a clean-up crew, and a non-traditional space may not provide all of that, so you’ll have to make sure to include those expenses not included into your budget.

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Visit Potential Venues More Than Once

Once the two of you have finally narrowed it down to a few potential venues, it’s time to revisit each of those venues to see which one resonates with you and your partner the most. Do the venues have the same charm as before? Are they big enough to accommodate all of your guests? Do they fit your intended wedding style?

It’s also a good idea to visit the venues around the same time of day you intend to have your wedding, that way you can see how the lighting and all around look of the place is for when you’ll be taking pictures. Visit each finalist venue a couple of times if you need too.

That way you’ll be more than sure of your perfect choice.

Have a Guest List Estimate in Mind

How many guest to you plan to invite to your wedding? You’ll need to make sure your choice of venue will be able to accommodate however many people you decide to invite.

If you and your partner want a small wedding, then it’s probably not a good idea to rent out a banquet hall. But that banquet hall could work perfectly if you intend on inviting a lot of people.

So it’s definitely a good idea to at least have an estimate about your guest list before you start looking for a venue.

Be Sure to Check About Religious Ceremony Requirements

If you intend to have a religious wedding ceremony, you’ll need to first find out if you’re required to have the ceremony in a house of worship. If your religious leader is able to come to a venue, then you don’t have to worry as much about this.

However, you do need to make sure he or she would be available around the time of year you and your partner want to get married.

5 Great Wedding Destinations for Lesbian Couples

Are you and your partner considering a destination wedding? With more and more countries finally coming to their senses by making same-sex marriage legal, it might be the perfect opportunity to travel to a place you two have always wanted to go while getting married at the same time.

Whether you’re looking for an exotic wedding destination or one that’s a bit more off the beaten path, here’s a look at 5 destinations that could make your nuptials all the more special…


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Same-sex marriage became legal on this tropical paradise island in 2013. Known for its romantic setting with thatched roofed huts dotting the blue-green lagoons, it’s the perfect place to get hitched if you’re looking for a tropical wedding destination.


Who wouldn’t want to walk hand in hand with their new wife along the chalk-white sands as you enjoy the views from your island bungalow, right?


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It’s pretty much the complete opposite from Tahiti, but just as beautiful with some pretty much amazing scenery. Iceland has a thriving LGBT community, and same-sex marriage was legalized in 2010, making it a great wedding destination.

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And with the numerous thermal pools, hot springs, active volcanoes, and snow-covered glaciers, you and your new wife will have plenty of great outdoor adventures to and sights to see after the wedding.

Cape Town, South Africa


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It’s known as Africa’s gayest city, which is saying a lot since quite a lot of the African continent is still very homophobic. Same-sex marriage was legalized in this South African country in 2006, so they definitely know how to roll out the gay-friendly red carpet.

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Not to mention, the city is very beautiful and picturesque. From the flat-topped mountains, sculpture-lined parks, golden beaches, and eccentric mix of cultures, you’ll find plenty to do here. And don’t forget about taking your new wife on a safari or penguin spotting outing!

Buenos Aires, Argentina

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Buenos Aires, Argentina

It’s one of Latin America’s gayest capital cities, and also one of the most tolerant. Same-sex marriage was legalized in Argentina in 2006, making it one of the few South American countries that allow it.

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There’s definitely plenty of culture here. Whether you’re looking to take a wine-tasting tour to sample some of the famous Malbec wine and other varieties, or want to visit the grave of the iconic Evita, the city is full of vibrant history and sights to see. And don’t forget those tango lessons. What a better way to celebrate your marriage than with a sultry tango with your new wife!

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Queenstown, New Zealand

If you and your partner are all about adventure, then you should definitely consider a wedding in this picturesque city. It’s a popular resort area, and is known for its daredevil sports. So after you say “I do,” you and your wife can do a little whitewater rafting, skydiving, bungee jumping, and jet boating.

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Same sex marriage was legalized in New Zealand in 2013, so don’t miss out on getting married in this beautiful country, especially if you both love the outdoors!

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Will You Marry Me? 5 Tips for Planning The Perfect Proposal

Have you been thinking about popping the question to your girlfriend but aren’t quite sure where to start?

Sure, getting married is a bit deal, but planning the proposal is pretty darn important too.

So what’s a girl to do? Where should you start? And do you have to get an engagement ring?

One thing’s for sure…you should definitely make sure your proposal is something she’ll remember.

Here’s a look at 5 tips to help you plan that perfect proposal…

Decide on Ring or No Ring

While there’s nothing written in stone that it’s necessary to present her with a ring when proposing, it is traditional to do so. However, if you and your girl aren’t exactly into “tradition,” then it’s totally okay to skip asking her to marry you with a ring. And hey, if this is the girl you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, you probably already know by now if she’d want an engagement ring or not, right?

Plan Something Awesome

What’s your idea for the proposal? This is probably the most important part, since it will show your girl that you’ve been paying attention and truly get her. Think of a plan that is personal to you and your future wife. Perhaps you want to return to where you had your first date…whatever the idea is, by making it personal and really giving it some thought, you’re bound to get a yes from her.

Plan the Date and Location

You most definitely need to plan ahead when it comes to choosing when and where you want to ask her to marry you. Do you want to do it privately with something like a picnic on the beach? (Be sure to pack all of her favorite foods for bonus points) Or are you thinking about going to your favorite restaurant on your anniversary to pop the question there? Choose a location and a date that’s going to mean the most to you both, and if you do choose a restaurant, it’s always a fun idea to get the wait staff involved in your happy moment too.

Speak From Your Heart

This always tends to work a lot better than trying to rehearse a speech or recite something you’ve tried to memorize right before you actually propose. Chances are your nerves are going to get the best of you anyway, so why not just tell her what your heart is feeling. Words from the heart are always the most romantic and endearing, and she’ll definitely have a hard time saying anything but yes when she looks at the true love in your eyes.


She said yes! Awesome…now it’s time to celebrate. Getting engaged is a huge deal. It’s definitely not something that’s going to happen to you every day. So don’t just sit there in your engagement bliss…get out there and celebrate, you future brides to be!

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Ring Shopping 101: Tips for Picking out the Perfect Wedding Bands

You’ve popped the question, and she said yes. Now it’s time to get into the whirlwind mode of wedding planning. Sure you’ll have to set a date, pick out a venue, figure out what to wear…but what about the wedding rings? It’s never too early to think about the sort of wedding bands you and your future wife would like to wear…for the rest of your life. So yeah, shopping for your rings is pretty important. Don’t know where to start? Here’s a look at some helpful tips to help get you on the right track to picking out the perfect wedding bands…

Decide on a Style

Are you and your girl a traditional sort of couple, or are you more of a couple who says to hell with tradition and do your own thing? Think about your style and how you want your wedding bands to represent you and her. It’s also important to figure out if you want to get matching bands or not. While that’s a popular choice, many couples also choose to pick out different bands for each other.

Figure out a Budget

While you don’t want to go broke spending all your hard-earned money on wedding bands, you also want to make sure you choose something that is going to last and be with you always. Decide on a budget together and be sure to stick with it. Don’t forget you’re going to have many more wedding expenses to consider when planning your budget for the rings.

Know Your Ring Materials

Do you prefer gold or silver? White gold or platinum. What about diamonds or another precious stone? There’s no rule that says a wedding band has to be made out of a certain material. These days even titanium and stainless steel are gaining popularity. Some couples have even chosen the ring tattoo route. The point here is to go with what you like and with something that shows your unique personality.

Shop at Least 3 Month Before the Ceremony

This gives you plenty of time to shop around and really get a feel for what you and your girl like. There are plenty of choices out there, so you may need time to narrow it down, or maybe you’ll fall in love at first sight with a ring your first time shopping. Just be sure to give yourself enough time to make your choice and get the rings properly sized so that they’ll be all ready for the big day.

Have Fun!

Not only will you be spending time with your future wife picking out something vital to the wedding ceremony, but you’ll also be having a blast doing it. You can even make a weekend getaway trip out of your wedding band shopping. Have fun and don’t forget what the purpose of the rings is really about…you and her committing to each other.

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My Big Fat Lesbian Wedding: The Do’s and Don’ts

When it comes to planning a same-sex marriage, the details aren’t all that different than a “traditional” marriage.

And while you may run into a few snags here and there when it comes to dealing with opposition to your lesbian wedding, you shouldn’t let that deter you from planning the perfect day for you and your future wife.

Here are a few do’s and don’ts to consider when it comes to your wedding planning…

DO: Know Your Goals and Priorities: Wedding goals are must no matter who is getting married. Know what you want out of your ceremony and be sure to prioritize what you hope to achieve.

DON’T: Feel Like You Have To Plan Your Wedding Like You are Bride & Groom: Find a balance that’s right for you and your girlfriend. You may want to go with traditional or you may want something completely different.

DO: Plan Things Your Way: Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion if there’s something in the planning you or your girlfriend don’t like or aren’t happy with. It’s your day after all…so be firm and make sure it’s done your way.

DON’T: Be Afraid to Put Creative Spins on Tradition: Who says the two of you can’t walk down the aisle together? While it’s okay to stick with tradition as well, how you plan your wedding and what traditions you want should depend solely on you and your bride to be. Don’t be afraid to get a little creative with your wedding.

DO: Help Family & Friends be Confident in Their Wedding Roles: Will one parent walk to down the aisle? Both? Or will you walk each other down the aisle? Will there be joint showers and bachelorette parties or does such tradition even interest you and your girlfriend? Be sure to keep your friends and family clued in on everything too. That way you’ll have less of a chance for misunderstanding and conflict.

DON’T: Let Backwards Thinking Vendors Get You Down: Opposition to same-sex marriage will probably always exist. As a lesbian couple, you both must feel comfortable with your potential vendors. Make sure you are upfront and communicate with them. You don’t want to find out a week before your wedding that your baker doesn’t want to do a same-sex wedding.

When everybody is up front with each other from the start, planning will go smoothly. And don’t worry about those who refuse to take part in a gay wedding. There are plenty of vendors out there that will have no problem making your special day that much more special.

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The Allure of Eloping… Why it May be Perfect for You and Your Girlfriend

Back in the day, eloping carried a negative stigma of sorts with it. To elope meant that you had the intention of running away together…be it because the match wasn’t approved by the parents or maybe even because there was a pregnancy involved.

The elopement has come quite a long way since then. These days it’s seen more as a planned destination wedding between the brides and maybe a handful of witnesses, or perhaps just the brides alone with someone to officiate their nuptials.

If you and your girlfriend aren’t into all the bells and whistles that come with a big wedding and are more into the idea of having a more intimate ceremony between yourselves, then eloping just may be the perfect way to do it.

Here’s a look at all of the reasons why you’d want to elope…

You’ll Save Money

It was recently estimated that the average wedding will cost around $29,000. And the costs will only increase depending on the size of the wedding, how many guests you want to invite, and how extravagant you want the reception to be.

So if you and your girlfriend were already contemplating eloping, definitely factor in the costs versus having a traditional wedding.

If you’re already strapped for cash, going more into debt to say “I do” is probably not going to help matters since money tends to be the biggest reason why couples argue or even break up.

Sharing an Intimate Moment…More Intimately

Let’s face it…getting married should be about the two of you, not about guests, where the most convenient locations would be for guests, or who might get offended by not getting an invite. Repeat after me…a wedding is about you and your future wife…each other. And while you might want your loved ones to share in the happiness of your matrimony (you can always have a reception/celebration when you get back), eloping can allow the true intimacy a wedding should celebrate.

No Family Drama

Okay, if they are the sensitive types then you might hear a bit of bitching and complaining about not having a traditional wedding and eloping. But that kind of family drama can be handled pretty easily by just going for it.

Whereas if you stick around and have a wedding ceremony, there may be some uninvited drama headed your way like oppositions to a same-sex marriage, vocal opinions on how the wedding should be planned, or family members making sure you invited so and so, making your guest list way too big.

If you and your girl aren’t about the drama…eloping may be the best decision to make.

Less Stress and More Focus on Each Other

Planning a wedding can take months and often comes with a whole lot of stress. From the cake to the food to the seating arrangements, focus tends to be only on the planning and not on each other. If you want to avoid that stress, you may want to consider eloping. It doesn’t require an elaborate plan…just a destination and the two of you.

You’ll Have a Blast!

Not only will you be getting married to each other, you’ll be doing it on your terms and in a location that means something to you. And it will definitely be a fun and memorable way to celebrate your love.

Eloping isn’t going to be for everyone, but it’s definitely an option to consider if you’re both avid travelers and are looking to have a more intimate celebration of your love.

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Breathe! … And 5 Other Things Brides Forgets To Do On Their Wedding Day

It’s your big day… you’re going to marry the woman of your dreams. And no matter what kind of calming pre-wedding rituals you’ve decided to try (and let’s face it, you’ve probably tried it all), you just can seem to calm those butterflies in your chest, much less remember if you’ve forgotten anything regarding the ceremony.

So chances are you’re probably not even thinking much about taking care of yourself.

What’s a bride to do? Here’s a look at 6 things brides to be tends to forget to do on their wedding day.


How can something as basic as remembering to breath be an issue? Well, with all of those nerves and excitement, you may find that taking a breather for yourself…even for a moment is something you may forget to do. You definitely don’t want to be known as the frantic bride. So step back, relax, and take in a deep breath throughout your day.

Take Time for a Snack Break

Food is your friend…no really. Do you want to be fainting from hunger during your wedding vows? Probably not. So be sure you have a few snacks throughout the day if sitting down for a meal isn’t an option. It’s even a good idea to assign someone to “snack patrol” so that you’ll remember to eat and feel great for those “I do’s.”

Spend Some Time With Your Friends

They can be a calming source for you as well as your go to support system if you feel like you’re about to have a nervous breakdown. Plus it’s always good to acknowledge their love and support of your big day.

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Take Time For Yourself

You’re likely going to be surrounding by everyone involved with or in the wedding as you go through last minute preparations. A moment alone to collect and calm yourself is a must during all of the mayhem. And while you’re taking that moment…remember that breathing tip.

Remember What the Day is About

Between the family, friends, dancing, and celebrating…don’t forget that this day is for you and your wife. It’s a day where you are celebrating your togetherness and love for each other. Nothing and no one else really matters in the grand scheme of things but the two of you.

Appreciate the Moment

When it’s all said and done, you are getting married to the woman you love. Don’t forget to appreciate and savor every moment. From her walk down the aisle to your first dance…take the time to cherish and remember the moments with your new wife.

Checkout these beautiful lesbian weddings…


Tying the Knot? Make Sure Your Girlfriend Has These Qualities Before Marrying Her

You and your girlfriend have been together for a while now. Things are going splendidly.

You’re head over heels in love and even contemplating taking that big step of getting married.

Marriage…otherwise known as a lifetime of commitment and devotion to each other. But before you decide to jump into the matrimonial bliss, first it’s time to take a step back from things and make sure your girlfriend truly is the one you want to marry.

Often times we can be blinded by lust. And while lusting can be quite fun, you also have to make sure your girl has the qualities you’re looking for in a future wife. So before you two tie that knot, let’s take a look at qualities to look for in each other.
Does your girlfriend…

Share Your Beliefs and Values?

This doesn’t mean she has to share the same religious beliefs (or lack thereof), but it does mean that she should have respect for your views.

It definitely does help to have some of the same moral and ethical beliefs though. Believing in the same things…like coffee as a morning necessity, for example, can make life a whole lot easier on the two of you.

Like to Learn New Things?

Spending your life together can get pretty boring if you aren’t learning from each other as well as trying new things. If your girlfriend is okay with the same old routine and isn’t one for changing things up, then you may have a problem down the road. (Unless you’re not a change sort of girl either, then it may work).

But your relationship will only grow and flourish with learning together. So make sure she’s up for trying something new…whether it’s traveling to an exotic destination or taking up a new hobby together, never stop trying new things.

Trust You (And is Trustworthy Herself)?

Trust is one of the most important things for a relationship to survive. If your girlfriend feels like she needs to check your cell phone 24/7 to see if you’ve been texting your ex or is always jealous of past relationships or even other women passing you by on the street, then you may have a problem.

Trusting each other is vital, and if she doesn’t trust you, or gives you any sort of reason not to trust her, its not likely things will change once you get married.

Willingly Make Compromises?

If your girlfriend is willing to forgo staying in to catch that next episode of her favorite TV show that she’s been dying to see all week in order to accompany you to your favorite artist’s concert (even if she isn’t really into the artist), then she’s probably a keeper for life.

Let’s face it; relationships are about compromise and not always getting your way. And if you’re both willing to compromise to make each other happy, then your relationship will stay healthy and happy as well.

Love Your Flaws?

And do you love hers? You’re not perfect, and neither is she, but does she embrace your flaws and imperfections, or does she always point them out and dwell on them? Your girl should find the beauty in your flaws.

It’s the beautiful quirks that make you who you are. If she doesn’t appreciate those quirks and thinks she can change who you are, then she’s not worth holding onto.

Have the Same (or Close to the Same) Sex Drive?

Being sexually compatible is always a plus when it comes to your relationship. If you and your girlfriend are completely off when it comes to each other’s sex drives…like you want to be constantly doing it like rabbits and she’s totally fine with making love once a week…then you have a problem.

And while sex isn’t the only thing you should base a future with her on, it’s still quite important. You should be with someone who has a similar interest in sex as you do.

Make You Happy? (…like you can’t stop smiling when you see her…happy?)

Okay, maybe you don’t have to be smiling every second of every day, but she should at least give you a feeling of true happiness.

Of course there are going to be bumps in the road along the way, but at the end of the day, do you look forward to being in her arms and feeling that genuine sense of pure content that comes with loving her?

If so then make sure you hold onto her tight and work together to keep that happiness vibe flowing!


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The Complexities Of Being Step Parent In Same-Sex Relationship

When dealing with children from a past relationship, it can be especially tough when the new step-parent is the same gender as their partner.

Nowadays, it’s becoming more and more difficult to find a family that consists of a single household.

The statistics point to divorce increasing, marriage longevity decreasing, and of course the wider spread acceptance of homosexuality and bisexuality – these all lead to an increase in multiple-household families, those in which the parents are no longer connected except through the children.

I myself was a child of step-parents. My mother and father weren’t together for very long due to “irreconcilable differences” (for lack of better terminology) and both were married to other partners by the time I was six.

I never really thought anything of it, and in fact I felt that I was better off with the two households than I would have been if my parents had tried to stay together “for my sake”.

That being said, I have a very limited amount of information surrounding same-sex step-parent situations, but it’s always been a subject that interested me.

I have a number of bisexual friends who have children from former relationships, and generally speaking these children seem happy as long as their parents are happy – and isn’t that what matters?

With that being said, there are a number of differences when lesbians and bisexual women have children from a previous relationship.

Sometimes, the parent of the child is bisexual, or recently out of the closet.

In these cases, the parent (and step-parent) will have to decide whether to let the child know about their sexuality. There may be some confusion when the child finds out that their new step-parent is not the same gender as the parent’s past partner.

For especially young children, they can grow accustomed to the idea faster – but some may not choose to share this detail if they feel the child is “too young” to understand.

For older kids, they may be able to figure it out on their own. This can be a good thing or a bad thing – it all depends on how you handle the situation.

If you are honest with your child, the entire process can be made easier. Of course, your decision to come out to your kids (or step-kids) is entirely your decision.

Some people have preferences to not date people with children – and you can’t force them to accept it.

This can be true regardless of sexuality, but many lesbians have a specific preference against dating bisexual women, and they may see your biological child as “proof” that you’re not “really gay”.

It’s not really fair, as bisexuality isn’t an automatic indicator of unfaithfulness. But the fact is you may face women who won’t date you simply because you have a biological child.

This can make it difficult for the single parent, but once they find someone who accepts their child as their own, it’s a magical experience.

Some single parents choose to instead leave their child out of the equation. Again, this is your decision, but it’s sort of unfair to your child.

If you refuse to acknowledge that you have a child, imagine how the child is going to feel when they find out about it (and it’s always a possibility that you have to consider).

In some cases, their other biological parent may stir up drama.

Of course, we hope this isn’t the case. Break-ups are already nasty enough without mudslinging. If your ex happens to get into your child’s head about your sexuality and how it’s “wrong”, the only thing you can do to address this is to live your life in such a way that your ex’s quips have no effect.

Thankfully, these days, your sexuality is unlikely to interfere with your ability to get fair custody of your child. Just keep in mind that a jaded partner can say some pretty hurtful things – and you shouldn’t let these things get to you.

If your ex-partner is the same sex as you, and you are not biologically related to the child, you could face extra problems.

Please don’t take this to mean that you should stay with a partner who is not good to you – we at KitschMix never recommend that.

However, unless you have already signed adoption papers, it can be incredibly difficult for you to prove that you have been a “parent” to the child.

If your ex decides to drag her feet through the adoption process, or changes their mind about your daughter being “your child” together, it’s entirely possible that you will have a long fight ahead of you.

Occasionally, the parent may blame their child when they can’t find a partner.

This is a completely different issue, and it’s definitely not fair to the child. I have known a few people who take it very personally when a partner leaves or rejects them because they have a child.

It’s important to remember that none of this is your child’s fault. It’s not his fault that you and his other parent separated, and it’s not his fault that your new partner doesn’t want kids.

Placing the blame on him is a form of emotional child abuse that is likely to lead to resentment later in your child’s life.

What can you do if you are a single parent looking for a same sex partner?

There are a number of people who specifically look for “RMF’s” (Ready Made Families). While the term itself has somewhat of a negative connotation, it doesn’t have to.

Some people are incapable of having children or they have a preference to adopt, rather than conceive. (I happen to fall in the second group.) For these people, your kids may be a godsend – as long as the timing is right.

Other people aren’t exactly looking to become a step-parent, but they don’t mind the idea. These people may not be specifically looking for what you have to offer, but they are open to the idea of having a child who isn’t related to them.

Wouldn’t you rather be with the person who would accept your child, anyway?

My advice to our readers is that you are open and honest with your children and your partners – and this can be especially true when it comes to their knowledge of each other.

Obviously your child doesn’t need to know every detail of your life, but they should know enough to not be blindsided if it comes up in the future.

Major Study Concludes Children Benefit More From Having Same-Sex Parents

According to a major new study, same-sex parents invest more time in their children.

The research, conducted by the Population Research Centre at the University of Texas, was carried out to confront prejudices against LGBT families.

In the study, researches analysed the time 40,000 parents spent with children while engaged in tasks including reading, playing and bath time, and found that same-sex parents spend significantly more time engaged in activities than mixed sex parents.

The difference is most pronounced in families with two mothers, where parents spend on average 40% more time on child-focused activities than straight couples.

The extra time comes largely because both mothers typically offer as much child-focused activity as mothers in heterosexual partnerships. Fathers with female partners spent only about half as much time with their children.

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The report’s author Kate Prickett explained:

Our study suggests that children with two parents of the same-sex received more focused time from their parents – 3.5 hours a day, compared with 2.5 hours by children with different-sex parents.

Our findings support the argument that parental investment in children is at least as great – and possibly greater in same-sex couples as for different-sex couples.”

Although it’s unclear why this difference exists, Dr Prickett thinks the answer may lie in how families are created.

First, it’s possible that selection plays a large part. That is, the ways that same-sex families come about, such as partnering with someone who already has a child, going through insemination or surrogacy, or adoption, suggest a strong desire to be a parent.

Second, parenting remains a gendered process. Fathers coupled with women still tend to be the main breadwinners, and their partners take on more domestic responsibility.”

Read more about the findings here.

Lesbians Really Are The Marrying Kind, As Survey Reports More Queer Women Are Getting Married Than Men

First official figures in the UK have offered intriguing evidence that queer women are more likely to marry than gay men.

Until the law changed last year allowing gay and lesbian couples in England and Wales to marry, men and women were, by definition, equally likely to get married.

But new figures published by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) show that during the first 15 months of legal same-sex marriage, lesbian couples were significantly more likely to tie the knot than gay men.

Overall 4,059 lesbian couples tied the knot between the end of March 2014 and June this year (or a 55 per cent of the total) compared with only 3,307 male couples.


That contrasts sharply with the situation when civil partnership was the only form of legal union for same-sex couples when male couples outnumbered female couples almost every years since their introduction in 2005.

Previous ONS studies have also shown that twice as many men as women identify themselves as gay, while women are more likely to say they are bisexual.

Significantly, the latest figures show that women in same-sex marriages are twice as likely to have been married previously to someone of the opposite sex.

One in seven women in same-sex marriages were divorced compared with one in 13 men.

Overall, there are now just over 15,000 married same-sex couples in England and Wales, when those who converted their civil partnerships are included.

Gianna Lisiecki-Cunane, a family lawyer with JMW Solicitors, said the figures appeared to suggest that gay women shared the preference of their heterosexual counterparts for the security and stability of marriage.

Even though it might seem to be a stereotype, more female same-sex couples than males are opting for the greater commitment which marriage is taken to represent.

However, the history of civil partnerships makes clear that women are also more likely than men to end those relationships which aren’t working out.

Given that married couples must wait a year before they can divorce and the first same-sex marriages only took place in March last year, it is reasonable to assume that we might detect a similar pattern amongst gay married women in the future.

The figures also indicate that those men who do make a commitment to one another might be more inclined than women to try and work through their problems and regard either a civil partnership or same-sex marriage as being for keeps.”

She added:

What is apparent is that a significant proportion of men and women are choosing to marry partners of the opposite sex before entering into same-sex relationships. In the case of women, in particular, that might be because they feel somewhat pressured by family, friends and wider society into pursuing heterosexual marriage, even though they may not feel entirely comfortable in such an environment. Also, at the time of those relationships, same-sex marriages might simply not have been legal.

The demise of their earlier marriages might well have coincided with the opportunity to marry in a manner of their own choosing as well as the confidence in expressing their true selves which comes from being even a few years older.”

Lesbian Couple Wins Right To Have Both Names On Their Childs Birth Certificate

A Utah court has ended a lawsuit filed by a lesbian couple to get the mothers’ names on their child’s birth certificate.

According to a local affiliate:

In a joint agreement filed with in U.S. District Court and obtained by FOX 13 on Sunday, the ACLU of Utah and the Utah Attorney General’s Office acknowledged that Kami and Angie Roe had received a birth certificate that included Angie Roe’s name as a parent of their child, Lucy. Lawyers for the two sides also agreed to make the judge’s injunction permanent, effectively ending the case.”

The ruling opens up the doors for other gay couples to place both parents’ names on birth certificates.

The lesbian couple, sued the state after the health department wouldn’t allow the couple to both be on the birth certificate, only the biological mother, even though the two were legally wed in Utah.

31 Beautiful Lesbian Wedding Photos That Prove Two Brides Are Better Than One

We’re feeling the love here at KitschMix HQ. These stunning photos celebrate the love and joy that partnership can bring. And as we all know recognition and acceptance are the fruits of a long and difficult struggle, and while there is still progress to be made, perceptions are changing for the better.

Do you have any LGBT wedding photos to share? If you are a photographer, a bride, or a bride-to-be, we would love to see your lesbian and queer wedding and engagement photos for our website then please drop us an email.

1. Ilina & Kristin // Photographs courtesy of JAG Studios.


2. April & Heather // Photos courtesy of Nicolle Moshiri.


3. Erica & Kasandra //Houston, Texas // Photos courtesy of Oryan Photography.


4. Anne & Allyson//Washington // Photos courtesy of Jonathan Steinberg.


5. Ariel & Michelle//Connecticut // Photos courtesy of Amanda from Boro Creative Visions.


6. Becca & Laura//Denver, Colorado // Photos courtesy of Andrea Flanagan.


7. Jillian & Emily // Provincetown, Massachusetts // Photos courtesy of Lisa Rigby


8. Jamie & Sam // Seattle, Washington // Photos courtesy of Jenny J.


9. Dawn & Jennifer//Provincetown, Massachusetts // Photos by Studio Gregg


10. Olivia & Nicole//Maryland // Photos courtesy of Maggie Winters


11. Mandy & Aleyna//California // Photos courtesy of Nicole Anderson


12. Meghan & Emily // Portland, Oregon // Photos courtesy of You Look Nice Today Photography


13. Ashley & Sherry//Massachusetts // Photos couresty of Solare Wedding Photography


14. Ali & Meenoo // Philadelphia, Pennsylvania // Photos courtesy of Tara Beth Photography


15. Chrystal & Rebecca // Colorado // Photo courtesy of Maria Alexandra


16. Sara & Megan // Seattle, Washington // Photos courtesy of Andrew Bueno and Tony Lau.


17. Desiree & Sara // Mexico // Photos courtesy of Bethany Moslen, BLM Photography


18. Lil & Nere // New Zealand // Photos courtesy of Larsson Photography



19. Jamie & Jesse//Chicago, Illinois // Photos courtesy of Carol DeAnda


20. Ashlee & Alyssa//Ontario, Canada // Photos courtesy of Miller Ellis Photography


21. Andrea & Julie // Chicago, Illinois // Photos courtesy of Arthur Mullen & Nako Okubo.


22. Natalie & Lauren // North Yorkshire // Video courtesy of Craig and his ironically named business


23. Lo & Kate//Mexico // Photos courtesy of Pink Palm Photography


24. Latrice & Maurita // New York City // Photo courtesy of De Nueva Photography


25. Holly & Mya // San Francisco, California // Photos courtesy of Blueberry Photography


26. Ellen & Amanda // New Hampshire // Photos courtesy of Rodeo & Co

lesbian-wedding-2727. Jess & Emet // California // Photos courtesy of Jennifer Emerling


28. Katrina & Nora // Massachusetts // Photos courtesy of Erica Camille.


29. Jaci & Kerry // Key West, Florida // Photos courtesy of Melissa Kelly


30. Katy & Emory // Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts // Photos courtesy of Michelle Davidson-Schapiro


31. Laura & Kathy//New Jersey // Photos courtesy of Peter Gebhardt.



Top 10 Halloween Costume Ideas For Lesbian Couples

Are you looking for recognizable lesbian costumes for you and your girlfriend?

Here’s a list of unmistakable costumes to try out this year.

10. Abbi and Ilana

Abbi and Ilana

Comedy Central’s hit television show, Broad City, portrays an eccentric bisexual character and her equally engaging best friend. Though these two aren’t actually together, you can find scenes on them kissing on their youtube channel prior to the show’s release. This costume is a fun and easy way to act like a couple of broke, jewish party girls this Halloween. Also try out their fur-coat look from episode 1, or their dream-sequence music video get-up from episode 9 for a challenge.

9. Santana and Brittany

Santana and Brittany

Though Glee’s prominent success has dwindled over the years, the matching cheerleader outfits worn by these leading ladies are both easy to make and easy to spot. If you want to relive those glory days in high school and find a nice couples costume, this is your match.

8. Sailor Uranus and Neptune

Sailor Uranus and Neptune

For the couple who sports a lipstick and androgynous pair, this pair is perfect. After the Sailor Moon revamp in 2014 (Sailor Moon Crystal), the internationally known sailor scouts and their short skirts are easily identifiable. While Sailor Neptune sports long, flowing turquoise hair, her partner adorns short blonde hair and both the scout uniform and a more masculine suit similar to Tuxedo Mask’s.

7. Korra and Asami

Korra and Asami

Who would have thought that Nickelodeon would reveal the protagonist of their Avatar sequel, The Legend of Korra, to be a lesbian? Well, they did. And that gives us a dynamic costume idea for you and your girlfriend.

6. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy

Superheroes are making a comeback! With the 2016 releases of several new comic-related movies (Suicide Squad, Captain America: Civil War, etc.), superheroes and associated icons regularly walk the streets.

These two characters can be seen sleeping in the same bed in the New 52’s release of the Harley Quinn comics, and are always fun costumes to make or coordinate. Also try Harley and Power Girl, as the two recently got their own comic series with the popularity of the crossover in issue #13.

5. Batwoman and Maggie Sawyer

Batwoman and Maggie Sawyer

That’s right, an openly gay superhero sporting qualities similar to one of DC’s biggest icons. Since Batman is already a major star on the Hollywood stage, how about bringing his lesbian ex-military ally into the spotlight? And don’t forget her love interest, Detective Maggie Sawyer at her side.

4. Cameron and Mitchel

Cameron and Mitchel

A good gender-bender is always fun around Halloween, and if you’re looking for a simple yet recognizable costume, try out this married gay couple from Modern Family. If you can find a Vietnamese doll or willing young relative to walk around rolling her eyes at your ridiculous behavior, bring their adoptive daughter Lilly along too.

3. Amy and Karma

Amy and Karma

Though this costume may be harder to recognize by those who are unfamiliar with MTV’s new series, Faking It, it’s very easy to pull off. All you need is a doughnut shirt and an acoustic guitar and you’ve got this one in the bag. Or, fulfill your prom fantasies by wearing the king and queen’s crowns and sashes like this pair did in episode 2. But if you’re more of a Reagan fan, dressing up like an alternative DJ or cater-waiter can be fun too.

2. Xena and Gabrielle

Xena and Gabrielle

Forever a classic, no one can forget the sensation that was this Greek warrior princess, and her trusty sidekick. Especially when their sexualities were finally questioned in the finale of the 6 season series.

1. Piper and Alex

Piper and Alex

Or pretty much any other couple in Orange is the New Black. After the major popularity of the show’s third season this year, anyone who’s anyone will recognize this couple’s costume. Besides, it’s also really easy to make, putting it at the top of our list for popular Halloween costumes this year.

Madrid Offers Assisted Reproduction To All Lesbian Couple After Court Ruling

Only days after a court handed down a decision in Spain against government restrictions on assisted reproduction treatments, Madrid regional premier Cristina Cifuentes said her government would immediately open the publicly funded services to all women regardless of their sexual preference or marital status.

Cristina Cifuentes

The announcement came after a Madrid court ordered regional government health officials and the Fundación Jiménez Díaz hospital to pay compensation to a lesbian woman who was cut off from the program following an order from the Health Ministry to deny services to unwed mothers and gay women.

After the couple filed numerous complaints and a lawsuit in May, the hospital said that it would re-evaluate all the cases and the woman is once again back under the assisted reproduction program.

The hospital’s decision to remove her from the program was based on a 2013 order by then-Health Minister Ana Mato, who excluded unwed mothers and lesbians from receiving artificial insemination and other fertility therapies paid for by the public health system.

Mato had issued the order based on a government decree to cut some €7 billion from the public health budget. Both Cifuentes and Mato are from the ruling Popular Party (PP).

But the court opined that the order went against legislation passed in 2006 on assisted reproduction, which clearly states that such treatment is available to women over the age of 18, “regardless of their civil status or sexual orientation.”

It ordered both the regional government and hospital to pay €4,875 in compensation to the women.

Cifuentes said that neither the government nor the hospital will appeal the decision and confirmed that the patient is back in the program.

All women “have the same rights” when it comes to reproduction assistance, she said.

30 Signs She’s Not Clingy, She’s Actually Crazily Obsessed With You

As we all know there’s a fine line between clingy and creepy.

But alas, we’ve all been there at one at one point in our lives. We’ve met someone who seems really nice. They’re nice to you. Kind. Thoughtful. BUT they’re a little too obsessed. That’s ok at the beginning. You accept she’s a little too emotional, a little too available and a little too all up in your business.

But for some reason (as much as we like complaining) we keep them around because who doesn’t love attention?

We facilitate the problem until we hit our breaking point. This isn’t health. This is clingy obsessive behavior.

So how do you make that distinction between creepy and clingy? Well…

1. She doesn’t just ask where you are; she tracks you down in a blind panic.

2. She doesn’t just take you to dinner; she orders for you.

3. She doesn’t just make out with you; she kisses you with her eyes wide open.

4. She doesn’t just see a future; she tries to move in with you within two weeks of dating.

5. She doesn’t just cry after sex; she showers twice.

6. She doesn’t just like cats; yet when she finds out you do, she gets one and names it after you.

7. She doesn’t ask about your feelings; she tries to dictate them.

8. She doesn’t just ask you on a second date; she asks what you’re doing for the month.

9. She doesn’t just want you to meet your parents; she insists you all FaceTime together.

10. She doesn’t ignore your past; she just adds all your exes on Facebook.

11. She doesn’t just follow your Instagram; she likes pictures 18 months old when you were with your ex.

12. She doesn’t just ask you out; she wants to make it official on Facebook.

13. She doesn’t just like your name; she tattoos it on herself.

14. She doesn’t ask to accompany you to plans; she demands you cancel to spend time exclusively with her.

15. She doesn’t think you mean it when you want to break up; she thinks you just mean you don’t want to hang out tonight.

16. She doesn’t just cook for you; she insists on feeding you.

17. She doesn’t write love notes; she smears it on the mirror with lipstick.

18. She doesn’t want to be your everything; she wants to be your only thing.

19. She never just texts; she only calls.

20. She doesn’t just check in; she leaves eight-minute voicemails.

21. She doesn’t just drunk dial you; she drunk cries you.

22. She doesn’t just spoon you; she spoon-feeds you.

23. She doesn’t sleep; she stares at you through the night – ensuring you wake up face-to-face.

24. She doesn’t just take selfies of you; she takes pictures of you when you don’t know it.

25. She doesn’t just complain about you clogging the drain with your hair; she actually collects it.

26. She doesn’t just stay over; she packs her bags and makes a drawer.

27. She doesn’t just like your friends; she calls them regularly.

28. She doesn’t ask your opinion; she needs it.

29. She doesn’t try and make you laugh; she tries to be a one-woman show.

30. She doesn’t respect your body; she demands ownership of it.


19 Things Lesbian Couples Will Know Only if they’ve Been Together For More Than 3 Years

1. You are no longer introduced as an individual. It’s always your name accompanied by your partners, and if she’s not there it still happens.

2. People confuse you for you partner all the time.


3. You no longer say ‘I’. It is now only ‘We’.


4. Most of your conversations involve the phrase “remember that time when we…”


5. You can be brutally honest with each other.


6. But you also know exactly how to compliment them.


7. And that’s because you’ve shared nearly every single thought and insecurity you’ve had over with them.


8. When someone asks you keep a secret, you assume telling your girlfriend doesn’t count.


9. You are totally comfortable sitting in silence together doing absolutely nothing.


10. Your girlfriend can make you belly-laugh like no one else.


11. It’s an unspoken rule that you hate all the same people.


12. You can always tell when they’re lying.


13. In fact you can NEARLY read their mind.


14. Over the years you’ve learnt all their favourite foods and when they’ll need them.


15. They have been there for you no matter what.


16. And they always seem to know what to say.


17. There are no boundaries in terms of personal space.


18. Or a conception of personal belongings.


19. You know you’ll be together for years to come.


15 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Angry Girlfriend

1. “Stop being so dramatic.”

Oh, I’m sorry for having emotions.


2. “Why are you crying?”

Because you’re making me cry!


3. “I don’t understand why you’re so mad. It’s not a big deal.”

It may not be big to you, but it’s a big deal to me. If you were listening to what I was saying, you would understand.”


4. “Can you calm down?”

Really? Are you trying to piss me off even more?


5. “You’re overreacting.”

No, I’m not. You’re just being too dense and unresponsive.


6. “Let’s just kiss and make up, okay?”

No, it’s not that simple. Let’s talk about this like adults.


7. “Why are you so cranky?”

Why can’t you take a hint?


8. “Here we go again.”

Don’t give me that shit.


9. “It could be worse.”


10. “You’re so quiet. Say something!”

I’m quiet. I don’t want to say anything. Leave me alone.


11. “Oh, whatever!”

Immediately dismissive, and it infuriates me.


12. “What do you want me to do about it?”

Quiet a lot actually, but I know you’re not prepared to do anything because you don’t care. You’re so unreasonable.


13. “What’s Your Problem?”

My problem? Seriously, like you don’t know!


14. “Grow Up!”

Are you calling me an idiot?


15. “But”

No “buts”. Like I need to hear your side of thing.


So, stay calm. Keep looking her in the eyes with a calm expression and a disarming tone AND you can keep your “but” out of harms way, you can effectively cool her down when things get hot.

Scientific Community Agrees Kids Turn Out Just the Same Whether There Are Raised by Same-Sex or Heterosexual Couples

new study from the University of Colorado Denver finds that there has scientific consensus on same-sex parenting for decades.

By assessing a number if studies that examined same-sex parenting, and studying the trends and shifts between them, the researchers were able to determine that the scientific community agrees there were no differences in children raised by same-sex couples and different-sex couples.

Despite arguments made to the contrary just this year in Supreme Court amicus briefs, the consensus is not new.

According to the study, there was already a developing consensus affirming same-sex parenting among social scientists by 1990. By 2000 and henceforth, that consensus has been “overwhelming.”

Lead researcher Jimi Adams, associate professor in the Department of Health and Behavioural Studies at CU Denver College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, told Think Progress that even though there is still the occasional dissent…

… even those dissenters seem to agree that consensus exists. They’re forced instead to claim that they think that the existing consensus is pre-mature.”

Adams, along with co-author Ryan Light of the University of Oregon, found that studies conducted before 1990 “disproportionately focused on same-sex parenthood that occurred following dissolved heterosexual partnerships.”

Pam Yorksmith, Nicole Yorksmith, Grayden Yorksmith, Orion Yorksmith

These studies thus couldn’t isolate the effect of having same-sex parents on children from the effects of divorce and separation. As researchers began to focus on same-sex couples who adopted or used in vitro fertilisation — thus raising their children from birth in a stable household — the differences disappeared and consensus began to lock in.

Even when differences are still found among children of same-sex couples, it’s not necessarily because of the sexual orientation of the parents.

As Adams explained.

.. [relationships] have had a tendency to be more unstable [and] parental relationship instability is associated with negative outcomes for kids.”

But cultural stigma and legal inequality could contribute to that instability, so the progress of marriage equality could likely “lead to beneficial changes for these other sources of potential negative impacts on kids.”

It’s these other factors that contemporary dissenters like Mark Regnerus and Loren Marks fail to account for. Regnerus’ study, which purported that the children of same-sex couples fare worse, conflated children whose parents separated and then entered a same-sex relationship with those raise by same-sex couples from birth. As Adams and Light point out, a recent re-analysis of Regnerus’ data controlling for these factors actually supports the “no differences” consensus.


Marks’ dissent does not stem from new research he conducted, but from a critique of past studies because they use small convenience samples — methods of recruiting participants that aren’t totally random, such as snowball samples, where one same-sex family might help recruit another that they know — which he believes bias the results.

Adams told ThinkProgress that “it’s really difficult to gain much leverage on the observable patterns from large population-based samples like Marks/Regnerus are claiming we need more of” because those random samples simply don’t capture enough kids raised by same-sex couples.

Likewise, Adams isn’t persuaded by Marks’ critiques of convenience samples.

Any one convenience sample can rightfully be criticised regarding its lack of ability to generalise its findings to the broader population from which it was drawn.

But when study after study finds the same thing — each with their own separate means for drawing their convenience (or small scale) samples — those weaknesses become less and less likely to be able to account for the mounting consistency of the resulting evidence.”

Adams admits that sometimes a consensus can be re-evaluated, and there is certainly still new information to be collected on the matter of same-sex couples.

Perhaps the most glaring gap is how few of the kids in these studies are from married same-sex homes.”

As marriage equality expands, there will be more opportunities for “apples-to-apples” comparisons, but he expects such studies would only confirm the consensus, if not reveal some new advantages that the children of same-sex couples experience when their parents can marry.

The cumulation of evidence we have to this point — according to our analyses — appears to be pretty robust. So, I think it would take some earth-shattering new evidence to upset this applecart.”

RomCom ‘Portrait of a Serial Monogamist’ is a Hilarious Take on a Common Lesbian Trope

‘What does a lesbian bring to a first date? A U-Haul!’ We’ve all heard that joke; it’s a ‘humorous’ take on the stereotype that lesbians are obsessed with being in relationships and settling down, before moving in and taking advantage of the world’s changing laws on same-sex marriage.

While there’s very little harm in it (this is one assumption about lesbians that actually works in favour of human rights rather than against them), straight men and women are stereotyped in similar ways when they choose to partner up, and so the trope has become a bit of a joke.

It’s a joke that is being presented to us in movie form with romantic comedy Portrait of a Serial Monogamist. The film, which has been directed and written by Christina Zeidler and John Mitchell, stars Diane Flacks as Elise, a television producer who is somehow always in relationships.


As described in the film’s trailer, she likes to work on these women like a personal project and then once they’re fixed up and she’s done, having written her name at the bottom like a real artist, she ups and leaves and unwittingly finds herself with someone new soon after.

Going off of that description, it’s easy to write Elsie off as a grossly unlikeable character who doesn’t deserve the love of these women she so mercilessly dumps.

However, it was Zeidler and Mitchell’s aim to make a film like High Fidelity, where the lead character lives just like this and yet is still endearing to the audience. Zeidler has explained that they wanted Elsie to be “a fuck up, but funny and charming”.

The loveable side of Elsie also comes through thanks to the fact, Flacks explains, that “she’s quite deluded” and that “she doesn’t really know” that she’s a serial monogamist.


Instead, the actress says,

she’s just kind of doing the right thing by everyone and making sure everyone’s taken care of. And then maybe in the back of her mind there was that DJ/barista, who, you know, you really should check out now that it’s over.”

Mitchell also says that they “wanted the audience to be with Elsie every step of her journey, even if they were disagreeing with her choices. Her behaviour is poor, but somehow you understand and sympathise.”

Just how well the film manages to do that will be seen later this year, as Portrait of a Serial Monogamist has been picked up by Wolfe Release to give the film a US theatrical release.


What Lesbians Couples Fight About (Video)

Have you ever wondered what other couples argue about?

The shame sh*t you argue about…

Anyone who is in a relationship is going to argue with their partner and it doesn’t matter if you just started seeing each other or are a couple who has been going strong for five years.

1. The sides of the bed/ultimate sleeping position.

We should all really dedicate an entire date in the initial stages of casual dating to cuddling. You think you love someone, and then you find out that they take the entire blanket and smother you as you sleep. What do you do with two big spoons?

Lesbians Couple Fight 01

2. The “I gave it to you to borrow, not to keep” debate.

You’re so sweet on each other that you’re sharing each other’s clothes and personal space, breathing in one another’s musk, rocking hair ties, pants, hoodies – the whole lesbian wardrobe bliss. Until one day when she asks for her hoodie back…um, that is a staple in my wardrobe now? You gave it to me!

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3. The music in the car.

During the honeymoon period of your relationship, both of you got equal play with the iPod. Then you realized you were dating a ‘skipper’ who switches songs 30 seconds in. After a while, the battle of who picks becomes so real that you have to turn on the radio just to have something ‘neutral.’

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4. The bad backseat girlfriend – You all know how it goes.

“Let me know when to turn”
*20 minutes pass*
“I think we missed the turn?”

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5. The “no, it’s YOUR turn” argument.

Usually relating to cooking dinner, washing the dishes, taking the bins out or some other undesirable chore. “But I washed the dishes two days in a ROW last week!”

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6. The “but I’m so comfortable!” argument.

Many a screaming match are born out of being so cozy in your blanket while your significant other uses the bathroom that, upon seeing them amble over on their return trip, you demand that they get you the remote, or the bag of chips, or some thing that you need so badly to survive but cannot be bothered to get up for because you “Are. So. COMFORTABLE.”

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7. The ‘Shane’ argument.

I call this the ‘Shane’ argument because my ex and I literally broke up over an argument sparked by my support of The L Word’s Shane sleeping with Cherie Jaffe. Everyone has a person, a band, a show, whatever… that they know is kind of insufferable and lacks a defence for a lot of its awfulness, but you fight for them anyway.

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8. The cuddle/tickle fight gone wrong.

It all starts with a playful touch. It ends in a kind of crying-laughing torture that can only be stopped with verbal death threats.

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9. The thermostat cold war.

You get cold in the middle of the night and close a window. They wake up sweating and open it up. They leave for work. You put the heat on to compensate. They come home, livid that it is June and the heat is on. They open all the windows. The world explodes.

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10. The great Netflix debate.

“Do you want to watch Grey Anatomy?”
“No, I want to watch Orphan Black”
“What about House of Cards?”
“I kind of wanted to watch Orphan…”
“We could always do Orange is the New Black?”

Lesbians Couple Fight 07