Tag Archives: lesbian dating

New Maltesers advert takes a lighthearted look at lesbian dating

Have you seen the new Maltesers UK advert? Their newest video takes a lighthearted look at #lesbian dating.

It might only be 30 seconds long, but the ad – which revolves around a light-hearted chat between friends about dating – features a main character who just happens to be a lesbian (and a vegetarian, ‘course).

Sarah opens the advert by looking balefully at her phone, before explaining to her three friends: “I think I’ve worked out why I’m finding this dating thing really tough.”

She picks up a Malteser and adds: “This is me: ‘Hi, I’m Sarah, please date me.’

“Almost like I’m being discriminated against or something.”

Silence abounds at the friends’ coffee table.

Then one asks: “Is it because you’re a lesbian?”

“No,” comes the laughing reply.

“Because you’re a vegetarian?”

“I’m an accountant,” she confesses.

“Oh my god, that’s disgusting,” comes the teasing response.

“That’s not natural.”

“Do your parents know?” asks another friend.

“Haven’t told them yet,” she says.

“Ooh, to be a fly on that wall,” another comments, making Sarah laugh.

Michele Oliver, Marketing VP at Mars Chocolate UK, explained that the ad was part of a broader drive to shine a light on underrepresented women.

“The adverts recreate real-life situations faced by women from different groups in society who you don’t often see or hear from. We’re telling their stories to help combat perceived stereotypes and celebrate our similarities, whilst at the same time hopefully making people smile! These adverts explore the topics in a fun, engaging and humorous way.”


The company also revealed that Stonewall helped to source some of the focus groups who contributed ideas to inspire the ad.

Popular Chinese Lesbian Dating Site Removed From Internet, Leaving 5 Million Users Clueless

A popular Chinese dating app for lesbians has been shut down, along with its website and main social media account, just as the gay community celebrates Taiwan’s decision giving same-sex couples the right to marry, a first for Asia.

With over 6.5 million registered users, Rela’s website and main social media account mysteriously disappeared.

Users began noticing last week that the app, along with its Twitter-like Weibo account and website, was no longer accessible, according to users posting on Weibo under the hashtags #rela and #relahasbeenblocked.

The service was temporarily suspended due to an “important adjustment in service,” Rela told users on its WeChat app account.

“Rela has always been with you and please await its return!” it added, but gave no details of why it was suspending service.

“This is discrimination against us lesbians,” wrote one user on Weibo.

“Not being able to open it feels like being jilted,” wrote another.

It was not immediately clear why Rela has been shut down.

The company did not respond to an email seeking comment.

Apple did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

The state internet regulator, the Cyberspace Administration of China (CAC), has not commented on the shutdown.

Some users have suggested that it was connected to Rela’s support for parents of LGBT children who wanted to take part in a “marriage market” in Shanghai on 20 May.

The group joined the weekly event in People’s Park where older parents try to find partners for their unmarried sons and daughters, and handed out “educational flyers”.

According to Sixth Tone, security officers ordered the group to leave the park, saying they had not registered their “advertising event” with the police.


It is not illegal to be gay in China, but homosexuality was considered to be a mental disorder until 2001 and attitudes towards it remain conservative.

It is not illegal to be gay in China, although the country regarded homosexuality as a mental disorder until 2001. Many large cities have thriving gay scenes, but gay individuals still face a lot of family pressure to get married and have children.

Gay activists say deeply conservative attitudes towards homosexuality in some parts of society have contributed to occasional government clampdowns.

In April, another gay Chinese dating app, Zank, was also shut down after operating for about four years.

In a message on its Weibo account, which is still available, Zank said it had been accused by the internet regulator of broadcasting pornographic content and so had been closed down.

Still, gay dating apps are big business, even for Chinese companies.

Last week Beijing Kunlun Tech Co Ltd said it would buy the remaining stake in global gay dating app Grindr that it did not own.

‘Scissr’ Is A Lesbian Web Series That Needs Your Help To Complete Its First Season

Last week we brought you our list of queer web series picks, which ranged from a 1950s drama about a pub, a refreshing coming out story, and one about two actresses who fall in love as they’re shooting a movie. Hoping to join their ranks is Scissr, which needs your help in order to complete production on its first season.

Scissr‘s pilot, which was uploaded to YouTube last year, was hugely popular having garnered over 120,000 views from people all over the world (from the United States right to Malaysia) and it was also covered by over 100 print and online publications.


That lone episode, which has been described as a hilarious hybrid of The L Word and Girls, featured several women as they aimed to navigate the trials and tribulations of Brooklyn’s queer scene.

There was Emily, a punk rocker who’s looking for love in an increasingly small pool of options, Corey who recently broke up with her girlfriend, and the newly out Aviva who slept with Corey’s girlfriend. Yikes. (Jamie Clayton was also in the show as Niamh but since she now stars in Sense8 on Netflix, it doesn’t look like she’ll be returning to Scissr).


In our interview last year with Lauren Augarten (who plays Aviva) she explained that,

I came out later in life and there wasn’t a lot of lesbian TV or film I could identify with at the time, apart from The L Word. In other shows, the characters were in their thirties and lived these charmed lives. I couldn’t relate to this, as a twenty something living in Brooklyn struggling to make ends meet”.

She also told us if networks didn’t pick up the show, she’d go about producing the web series herself and that now seems to be the case.

Scissr is currently on Indiegogo seeking $30,000 of funding in order to make six more episodes at around 10-15 minutes each. The show has currently raised just over $10,000 with 11 days to go – it does have flexible funding and will receive any funds raised but obviously the more money they raise the better.

Some of the perks include a poster download, an invite to the wrap party in NYC, a t-shirt, and early access to the first season once it’s done.

Click here to support their crowdfunding campaign and to find out more.


Things Only Lesbians Say About Their Exes

When I broke up with my girlfriend, I was angry so bitched about her big time thinking it would help me get over her. It didn’t… But it did show me I was not alone in my bitterness.

Watch Things Only Lesbians Say About Their Exes, and you will certainly relate.

You can catch more videos from Arielle Scarcella on her YouTube channel – so good and so funny.

Study Concludes That Gaydar Isn’t A Real Thing, Just Us Stereotyping

The concept is not only inaccurate, it also encourages dangerous stereotypes, research suggests.

Scientists at the University of Wisconsin-Madison conducted the study to challenge the so-called “gaydar myth” in a new paper recently published in the Journal of Sex Research.
lesbian stereotypes 01

Researchers found that although many view the idea as harmless, it is actually still stereotyping – just in a more subtle form.

William Cox, lead author of the paper.

Most people think of stereotyping as inappropriate. But if you’re not calling it ‘stereotyping,’ if you’re giving it this other label and camouflaging it as ‘gaydar’, it appears to be more socially and personally acceptable.”

Cox proved this theory by splitting the study’s participants into three groups. One was told that the concept is real and another that gaydar is nothing more than stereotyping.

They were then shown photos of men and a statement about their interests.

Make sure to read: Women Explain The Science Behind Gaydar

The group that was led to believe gaydar is real were much more like to make assumptions based on traditional stereotypes – such as “he likes shopping”, or “his is emotionally sensitive”.

Cox argues.

If you tell people they have a gaydar, it legitimises the use of those stereotypes.”

Another reason gaydar is often misused, Cox said, was because LGBT people still make up such a small percentage of the population.

Imagine that 100% of gay men wear pink shirts all the time, and 10% of straight men wear pink shirts all the time. Even though all gay men wear pink shirts, there would still be twice as many straight men wearing pink shirts. So – even in this extreme example – people who rely on pink shirts as a stereotypic cue to assume men are gay will be wrong two-thirds of the time.”

Previous surveys have differed in result, with some insisting that the “gay sixth sense” does indeed exist.

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Question: Can You Tell If Someone’s Gay?

Can you spot the lone lesbian in roomful of straight women? Can you tell if someone’s gay? Is your gaydar finally tuned?

Hmmm, is it that easy? Can you look at someone and know if they are gay, bisexual, straight, pansexual… and so on?

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Make sure to read: Women Explain The Science Behind Gaydar


Why Lesbian Sex Is Better…

Ummm hello!! Do we really need explain why lesbian sex is better?

Because you do know scientist have already ascertained the sex between two women generates much better orgasms.

So merry early Christmas lesbians!

Researchers at the Kinsey Institute surveyed over 6,000 men and women about their sex lives and, boo-yah, the lesbians were revealed to be quite good at coming.

Watch the video below, as Arielle Scarcella breaks down why The Gay Ladies get to have better sex.

15 Things You MUST Know Before Dating A Sarcastic Woman

The universal truth about dating is this: People want what they think they can’t have.

I’m not saying this is good. I’m simply saying we all like the chase, and we all enjoy being kept on our toes a bit.

Dating is a game, and I think sarcastic people have a natural edge over the competition.

Well-crafted sarcasm is attractive, because it demonstrates intelligence, a sense of humour, emotional IQ, confidence, style and an edge of sassy flirtation.

You can’t help but gravitate toward the hilarious woman who can hold her own, make people laugh and win over the hearts of the crowd, which very well might be your friends.

BUT, be warned sarcastic people can be a nightmare to date (yes, I admit it).

Here are a few things you should know about dating a sarcastic woman:

1. They’re always messing with you

Don’t take it too seriously. They’re playful, like cats with laser pointers. You’re the cat and they’re the laser pointer. Just take the joke and throw it back, okay?

Sarcastic Woman 10

2. Mean comments are displays of affection

There’s nothing more intimate or affectionate than me calling you an asshole and kissing you afterwards, trust me.

Sarcastic Woman 03

3. They remember everything

That time you tripped, spilt your drink… shut your finger in the door. They like to keep their joke bank fresssssh, so don’t think that anything goes unnoticed or is off limits.

Sarcastic Woman 04

4. They come off cocky, but it’s a front

Sarcastic Woman 07

5. If you don’t know if they’re joking, safe to assume they’re joking

Sarcastic Woman 11

6. They ARE laughing at you, but that’s because they like you

Sarcastic Woman 13

7. They have soft, gooey centres under the hard exteriors

They’re only this sarcastic because they have many layers of depth and feelings. For every mean thing they joke about, they have five more nice things to say about you.

Sarcastic Woman 16

8. If they ignore you in a big group, it means they like you, yes you, the one their not talking to

They’ll never be the ball and chain, and the more they ignore you, the more they can make eyes at you and mouth “I hate you,” which is basically a sign of head-over-heels, stupid crazy affection.

Sarcastic Woman 18

9. “I hate you” means “I love you”

Sarcastic Woman 01

10. They will say something really mean and immediately wish they didn’t say it

It’s almost like sarcasm is this involuntary reaction and they. Can’t. Stop. Being. Sarcastic.

Sarcastic Woman 02

11. They will occasionally say something incredibly sincere, but you won’t notice because you’ll think they’re being sarcastic

Sarcastic Woman 05

12. They actually have a lot of feelings

Sarcastic Woman 14

13. They’re bad with making the first move

They truly, honestly do not know how to give you the signal that they like you or that they care about you. They are hoping you will see through their sarcasm and see they’re basically dying for you to notice them.

Sarcastic Woman 15

14. Being sincere doesn’t come easy

So when they get serious, you need to pay attention. (Or like cherish it or whatever).

Sarcastic Woman 09

15. In the truest reality, you’re dating a sensitive, affectionate, loving lady

Sarcastic girls are really the sweetest girls. Just shut up about it, okay?

Sarcastic Woman 17


Women Explain The Science Behind Gaydar

It’s been said you can’t judge a book by its cover, but in our gay world there is this crazy little thing called ‘Gaydar’.

The idea of ‘Gaydar’ is that we gay people are highly accurate at detecting other gay people.

Hmmm, is it that easy? Can you look at someone and know if they are gay, bisexual, straight, pansexual… and so on?

I’m not too sure. I’ve always found it a lot harder to spot a lesbian. Some, women find it easier to hide their sexual orientation. Some do not fit those classy stereotypes the world has about lesbians – a) short hair, b) flat shoes and c) practical clothing.

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The fact is, just like straight people, LGBT people come in all types. The only way to know anyone’s sexuality for sure is to ask.

And yes, that can be an intimidating task, but as long as you’re respectful and do it with a kind heart you’ll know for sure.

You can catch more videos from Arielle Scarcella on her YouTube channel – so good and so funny.

17 Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. It a good thing then that my girlfriend and I agree on absolutely nothing. Combine utter, polar disagreement on everything, ever, with the fact that I am a text-book ‘Only Child’, and she the second-youngest of five – and we’re warming up.

So feel my pain, when you read about some of the things we’ve argued about.

1. Preparing a fruit salad.

That’s correct. To be precise the way one should cut a Kiwi Fruit in half (along its length or across the middle).


2. Leaving the bathroom door open.

Three times a day that one, minimum.


3. The best way to wash up.


4. Those little toothpaste speckles you make when you brush your teeth in front of the mirror.


5. The way I eat food.

I eat a chocolate bars without the need to snap them into individual pieces. My GF accused me of doing this, ‘deliberately to annoy her’.


6. The amount of time I spend on the computer. (OK, fair enough)


7. Which type of hover to buy

Price wasn’t an issue, it was the principle.


8. Where to sit in the cinema

On those occasions when we a) manage to agree to go to the cinema together and, b) go to see the same film once we’re there. (No, really).


9. TV Viewing.

She enters the room. I’m watching television. She announces ‘we’ should watch something together, which means she doesn’t want to watch what I’m watching.


10. She wants to paint our bedroom blue. I have no words for that.


11. Watching films on the TV.

What she likes, is to sit by me while I narrate the entire film to her. ‘Who’s she?’, ‘Why did he get shot?’, ‘I thought that one was on their side?’, ‘Is that a bomb’



12. Or she adds her own commentary to a film.

With such interjections as, ‘Hey look! They’re the cushions we’ve got’, ‘Isn’t she the one who does that yoghurt advert?’ and, ‘Oh, I’ve seen this – he gets killed at the end.’


13. She thinks I’m shallow

My GF thinks I’m shallow because… I spend over an hour doing my hair in front of a mirror. During this argument, usually in the bathroom – our second most popular location for arguments – She’ll say ‘None of the other women I’ve been with,’ (my, but it’s all I can do to stop myself hugging her when she begins sentences like that).


14. She makes me carry her stuff

She refuses to carry a bag, yet needs to bring out multiple items, which either get slipped into my pockets or bag.


15. I’m not arguing, then why are you yelling debate


16. Me commenting on her outfit choice.


17. The TV Remote.


There are four causes for argument…

1) Ownership of the TV Remote: this is signified by it’s being on the arm of the chair/sofa closest to you – it is more important than life itself.

2) On those blood-freezing occasions when you look up from your seat to discover that the TV Remote is still lying on top of the TV, then one of you must retrieve it; who shall it be? And how will this affect (1)?

3) Disappearance of the TV Remote. Precisely who had it last will be hotly disputed, witnesses may be called. Things can turn very nasty indeed when the person who isn’t looking for it is revealed to be unknowingly sitting on it.

4) The TV Remote is a natural nomad and sometimes, may the Lord protect us, it goes missing for whole days. During these dark times, someone must actually, in an entirely literal sense, get up to change the channel; International Law decrees that this, “will not be the person who did it last” – but can this be ascertained? Without the police becoming involved?


13 Crazy Thoughts We ALL Have When She Doesn’t Text Back

You did it. You sent the girl you like a text. But here comes the ‘wait-for-a-reply’ moment, and waiting for a response can feel like being in purgatory.

1. Go, me!

You wanted to say something, so you made the first move and texted her.

texting-gif-03 texting-gif

2. Hmm, still no response. Maybe she’s busy.


3. But she always has her phone on her.


4. OK, what could she actually be doing?


5. Did I send this to the right person?


6. Putting the phone away now.


7. Let me just check to see if she answered.


8. Maybe I’ll just make sure my phone’s still working.


9. Yep, it’s working.


10. OMG, my phone’s vibrating.


11. Oh. It’s not her.


12. You know, whatever. If she’s going to be like this, I don’t need her.


13. Wait, she answered! Finally.


Hahahaha, she made a little joke. She’s so cute. *Heart-eyed emoji*


An Introvert’s Guide For Asking A Woman Out

1. Don’t try to be some you’re not.


Be yourself and she will like that about you!

2. Start with a simple conversation.


Initiate your talk with something casual.

3. Do your homework


Put your efforts in understanding her interests, her likes, dislikes.

4. Use the Internet to reach out.


Add her on Facebook

5. Don’t stop being shy


Some women adore shyness other women.

6. Appreciate her.


Don’t come up with any cheesy pick-up lines.

7. Be calm.


Don’t be like a drama queen!

8. Maintain eye contact.


Your eyes will communicate half the message.

9. Don’t forget to smile


That is the best way to overcome your fears, but don’t smile too much!

10. Be alright with a ‘No’


There are plenty more fish in the sea.

27 Lesbian Rites Of Passage We All Go Through

What is a Lesbian’s ‘Rite of Passage’. Well basically its the rituals that marks your transition from a baby dyke, to a former baby dyke. Simple

1. Coming to terms with your sexuality

2. Lying to your parents about your “friend” staying over – eeeek

3. Hooking up with your ex, and then telling yourself its not “complicated”.

4. Changing your Facebook relationship status to “its complicated”.

5. Pining over your ex for way too long.

6. Obsessing over your online dating profile before you publish.

7. Checking up on someone you’re still hung up on.

8. Staying with someone for all the wrong reasons.

9. Crushing on your best friend.

10. Falling for a straight girl.

11. Felling complete despair after your first big break-up.


12. Spending an excessive amount of time processing your feelings.


13. Hooking up with a co-worker.


14. Hooking up with a friend’s ex.


15. Hooking up with an ex’s ex.


16. Completely losing your sanity over a crush.


17. Not making the first moving, and then watching as your best friend makes it instead.


18. Too much eye contact, and zero conversation.


19. Divulging too much information on a first date.


20. Accidentally texting the wrong girl.


21. Accidentally texting the right girl the wrong message – cringe.


22. Changing your wardrobe in order to become more “GAY”.


23. Changing yourself for the person you’re dating.


24. Taking too many selfies when you’re single.


25. Then taking too many ‘welfies’ when you get into a relationship.


26. Getting a Bieber hair cut.


27. Telling your best friend you fancy her.

Regrets-38 Regrets-39 Regrets-40


Cat vs Girlfriend

My girlfriend doesn’t get on with my cat, at all – crazy right?

She says she has never really been a cat person, so I try not to take it personally. I’ve had my cat for 5 years (since the day she was born) – she means the world to me, but now she’s taken a dislike to my girlfriend. Which leaves me stuck in a really awkward position.

But what is so crazy, they are actually more a like than both would like to admit.

1. Both find it acceptable to eat my food.


2. Neither can decide whether or not they want to go out for the evening.

Kitten_going out

3. It is acceptable for them to sleep all day, but neither will let me sleep if they’re awake.

Kitten_wake up

4. Both demand attention whenever I want privacy.


5. I can never tell what either of them are thinking, but I assume I have displeased them in some way.


6. They both try to fit into things they clearly can’t fit into.


7. They’re both happy to disturb me when I working from home.


8. They’re able to nap wherever they find comfort.


9. They’re both too proud to ask for help.


10. Yelling at the neighbourhood hooligans to keep it down during quiet time.


11. Get spooked by someone sneaking up on them when they thought the house was empty.


12. Fall asleep on me, when I need to go to the bathroom.


13. They’re both completely spoilt by me.


14. They look adorable in glasses.


The Best Response You’ll Ever Read to ‘How Lesbians Have Sex’

A perfect response to the time old question ‘How do lesbians have sex’ – well here is the answer from Buzzfeed’s Flo Perry – This is How Lesbians Have Sex

Step 1: Take off your lesbian attire.

This Is How Lesbians Have Sex

Step 2: Talk about your feelings.

This Is How Lesbians Have Sex

Step 3: Get yourself some scissors.

Step 3: Get yourself some scissors.

Step 4: Cut your bra right off.

Step 4: Cut your bra right off.

Step 5: Burn your bras.

This Is How Lesbians Have Sex

Step 6: Hold hands, but not for too long.

This Is How Lesbians Have Sex

Step 7: Introduce your cats. (You can hold hands if you feel the urge.)

This Is How Lesbians Have Sex
Step 8: Get out the biggest dildo you own.
This Is How Lesbians Have SexStep 9: Sword fight with your dildos.
This Is How Lesbians Have SexStep 10: High five your gal pal! You did it!
This Is How Lesbians Have Sex
Step 11: Remember to put back on your lesbian attire, and you might need to buy a new bra.
Step 11: Remember to put back on your lesbian attire, and you might need to buy a new bra.

So now the age old mystery of how lesbians have sex is finally solved! You’re welcome.

5 Reasons Why ‘Hook-Ups’ are a Poor Excuse For a Date

So we live in the world Hook-Ups – where you meet a person and suggest go grabbing a coffee or a drink, instead of asking some out on a date. You must have heard the line “I’ll meet you at the bar,” which sounds so lame – well unless you’re Shane from The L word that is.


Now I’m not a fussy dater. I’m not always expecting a multi-course meal at a five-star restaurant, but for a first date, I am hoping for a place that offers something a bit more than muffins, free WiFi and my favourite brew.

Here are my top five reasons why we should get rid of the Hook-Up dates once and for all:

1. It makes me feel like you don’t think I’m worth a real date


Asking someone out for drink is just an easy way to ask someone out without really asking someone out. For the people doing the asking, there is virtually nothing to lose.

If they get rejected, they can simply use the cop-out that it was never actually a date.

If they manage to lock down the date, it’s a very straightforward thing to plan. If it goes badly, they can know, rest assured, no effort or resources were wasted.

2. It results in a lot of confusion as to what this “meet-up” is


“Let’s grab a coffee on Monday” via text message is easily the most nonchalant way to ask someone out. It’s to the point I’m not even sure if this is a real date.

Did you just friend-zone me? Are we just catching up? At least with dinner or some other date-like activity, both parties are (usually) fully aware of what the outing entails.

3. It’s a little too casual


I’m all for casual dates, but the local lesbian bar is too casual for me. It’s nosy, we’re near to your ex, my friends just walked in, and now I’m not exactly motivated to strike up engaging conversation.

If we’re on this date, it means I’m at least slightly interested in you. I want to look good for our date, and I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb next to a plethora of people in sweats.

The environments of Starbucks and other quirky coffee shops are made to be casual. They are supposed to encourage studying and “hanging out,” rather than nervous and excited conversations by first daters trying to look desirable.


4. It has an inevitable short time frame


There are very few people in this world who can drink one single drink for more than 20-30 minutes, so you have to order a second to prolong a date – which means you face the risk of appearing to be a lush.

I suppose having a guaranteed out within 20-30 minutes is a pro if the date goes badly, but if I’m going on a date in the first place, I’m hoping it’ll turn out well.

Also, we are so fast-paced in every other aspect of our lives, we don’t need or want our dating lives to be as such. I want to take my time, and I want you to take yours. If you try to tell me you don’t have the time for more than a simple coffee drink, you certainly don’t have the time to take this relationship to the next level.

The drink date is limiting – the longer you go, the drunker you get. And the drunker I get the more I forget. So I forget all the the good stuff – the life stories, the experiences and the passions.

5. Drunk kiss or no kiss


A (sober) first kiss is awkward enough without it being along a line of people waiting at the bus top outside the coffee shop in pure daylight. Unless your drunk, and by now all you rules i.e. ‘you’re not the “type” to kiss on a first date’, gets blown out of the water.

The majority of our generation favours casual hangouts and hookups rather than actual dating, but the coffee date blurs the line between what is “real” and what is casual.

I, like many girls I know, am done wasting time trying to figure out whether our coffee meet-up or “study sesh” was considered a date or not.

Hooking up is fine, but if you’re into someone, do her a favor and take her on a real date. This way, there will be no overanalyzing what your intention is.

5 Ways to Electrify Your Sex Life

We can all use some fresh ideas to spice up our love lives. So, here are 5 approaches I found useful

Surprise a lover with a new experience

New experiences energise us. Sharing them increases intimacy, making hot sex more likely. So rent an erotic film, plan a trip somewhere romantic, or organise a couples massage.

Use role-play to engage your imagination.

People find it invigorating to become someone else for a moment, to act in ways they normally wouldn’t. It can be exciting to do things that you may have only dreamed about.  Role-playing can give you the freedom and the permission to act out in ways that are out of character.

Plan a trip to a sex-related entertainment destination

Visit a burlesque club, see a stripe club show, or visit a fetish club. Go with an open mind and make sure you stay long enough to make that initial uncomfortable anxiety disappear.

Read an erotic story

Find a new book that is written about sexual experiences you have not yet experienced. When you have done so, write out a fantasy or two of your own.

Spending time examining the experiences of others can give us saucy new ideas. Some of the things we read will bore us, others might make us cringe, but usually there will be something that captures the imagination and gets our own creative juices flowing.

Note: When writing, remember that you are doing this for yourself, so don’t spend too much time obsessing about how well you are writing, how good your grammar is or if your spelling is diabolical. You can worry about all of this if you decide you are going to share what you write with others.

Visit a sexy lingerie shop or a sex shop

Push yourself out of your comfort zone and actually ask the sales staff about the toys you have never even considered looking at in the past. Looking online is not the same, as you cannot interact with others directly and actually see and touch the toys (and learn how to use them). If you are too embarrassed to go on your own, consider going with your lover or a really close friend.

Finally, enjoy yourself

Take the time to make the most of all aspects of your life. You deserve to have an electrifying sex life, and you can create one with some courage, imagination and persistence.


Quiz | Which Pop Breakup Anthem Are You?

When a relationship is on its last leg and a breakup is inevitable – life gets sh*t.

However, as tough as it is to dump or be dumped, when you find the right soundtrack to your suffering, it can also feel weirdly enjoyable. So we invite you to celebrate the heartbreak; whether angry, homicidal or just a bit sad, by finding your perfect pop breakup anthem.

The Lies Lesbians Tell

Have you ever been in a relationship where the communication was lacking? Either one of you or even both weren’t being truthful with each other? You’re supposed to care for the person you’re in a relationship with…. right? So why do people constantly lie, cheat, and manipulate?

While most people generally want to be in healthy, truthful relationships, that isn’t always the way it plays out. First we have to think about human nature. We may not realize it, but lots of the decisions we make are based on ideas and instincts that were passed down to us from our ancestors. One of those traits is lying.

Lying is part of our human nature, because most of the time the decisions we make are based on our emotions. As we get closer to another person, we both intentionally and unintentionally share with them information about who we are. This is because as humans, we have a fundamental need to be understood.

While it is absolutely necessary to trust your significant other, this also lays the ground for deception. After all, who makes a better victim than someone who is eager and willing to trust everything you have to say?

Mathematician Reveals Formula For Finding the Perfect Partner 

Are you on the quest to find true love? It is often said that one must kiss a few frogs before meeting a princess.

Well, it would appear this theory is true.

Dr Hannah Fry, a mathematician at University College London, has come up with a formula to find a perfect partner.

She has developed a practical theory for love, which involves ruling out anyone you meet in the first 37 per cent of your dating life.

So, if someone began dating at the age of 16, and hoped to stop at 40 at the latest, then you’ll find true love around the age of 25 – ta-da!


It is suggested that people “get a feel for the marketplace” when they are young before settling down with the “next person that comes along who is better than everyone they have met before”.

Dr Fry has publishing a 116-page book entitled The Mathematics of Love.

Some of her statistically proven tips include always being prepared to approach a would-be mate, finding a similar-looking but slightly less attractive “wingman”, and never cropping one’s faults out of a photograph on an online dating profile.

Speaking at the Oxford Literary Festival, Dr Fry said that looks were not proven to make a difference in finding love.

Ultimately, no one cares if you look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. All they care about is how you look compared to everybody else.”

Thus, she suggested finding a similar looking, slightly less attractive friend was the best strategy.

Leading Lesbian App Dattch is Relaunched as HER, After Receiving $1million Investment

After receiving $1million investment, Dattch, the leading app for lesbian and bisexual women, is relaunching as HER.

The Lesbian App

The name change signals the next stage of growth for the app, as it takes on a stronger social focus in preparation for expanding across America and launching internationally.

HER has also closed a $1million seed round of investment from leading investors Alexis Ohanian, founder & Chair of Reddit, Michael Birch, founder of Bebo, Andy McLoughlin, founder of Huddle, AngelList and 500 startups.

Also: What Women Want From Dating: An Interview with DATTCH Founder Robyn Exton

Created by Robyn Exton, the app combines Pinterest style layouts and Tinder functionality with queer events and the best content from across the web.

Multi Screen shot

Announcing the relaunch, CEO and founder Exton said:

“HER is about creating a space where lesbian, bi, queer, curious, flexisexual, pansexual and not-so-straight women can meet and find out what’s going on in their lesbian world. Dattch taught us a huge amount and you’ll see the best parts of it in HER, along with a whole new experience incorporating everything our community kept asking us for.

More social, less dating. Women aren’t looking for a ‘Hot or Not’ – they want to chat & meetup, make friends, meet girlfriends, find events. HER is a complete lesbian community” 

The app, which launched in London in 2013, is now available in the UK, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Miami and New York. Phoenix is the most-requested city so it’s next on the docket, and will be available to women there by next month.

HER is available to download on the Apple app store & will be available on the Android store soon.

Meet Every Lesbian


Lesbian Dating Problems

From Twin dates, to ex-girlfriend interruptions, straight-girl dating, to Ladies with the same-name as you  – dating in the lesbian world can be a trick thing.

Brittany Ashley outlines the dilemmas of dating lesbians in this great new sketch. And check out cameos from a whole host of our favourite web-based lesbians – #hashtag‘s Caitlin Bergh & Laura Zak, The Better Half‘s Amy Jackson Lewis & Lindsay Hicks, and even AfterEllen‘s chief editor, Trish Bendix, gets a spot.

Eeek… The First Time You See Your Ex After A Breakup

So, you haven’t seen your ex girlfriend since your breakup and now she’s asked you to meet up. You happily(ish) oblige… You’re excited, yet nervous – full of hope, and at the same time, weary of what might happen. You’ll want to kick them and screw them (grab the body that doesn’t belong to you anymore), and any conversation you have will feel like nails on a chalkboard.

You’ll say the words “Good. Really Good. Jobs. Work. Weather,” and they will not mean a thing to you, because when you’re having a conversation and both parties know it’s BS, a thickness develops with each and every single word.

Sadly most of us have been there, so great news we’re not alone in this.

Watch Brittany Ashley and Fawzia Mirza…

What Lesbians Do Before and After A First Date?

So what are your dating rituals? Our favourite vloggers, Steph Ello and Arielle Scarcella, take us through the pre-date insecurities to a fashion crisis, on to post-date facebook stalking, sexual preference confirmation, and to the great text debate – who texts first?

Screen Shot 2015-01-26 at 20.09.57

Watch and enjoy people…


After… too funny

Lesbian Relationships – Expectation vs Reality

Lesbian Relationships – sign! Expectation vs Reality – yes my friend, lesbian relationships fall into these category. What you think you have you don’t, and the ladies at The Gay Women Channel highlight this so well in their latest video.

So grab your coffee or a tea, and laugh while you watch.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love… And Social Media

We’ve all been there. That messy break up when you don’t really want to break up but the other person does. Or where you both know deep down it’s for the best but, it doesn’t make it any easier.

Why am I not good enough for you? Why am I not right for you? If you’re so right for me, and I’m so happy, how are you not? The question goes over and over in our minds.

It sends us crazy. Like, literally crazy. We sometimes feel like we’re losing control. Our emotions are so up and down from one day or even one hour to the next.

It’s worse when the sex is good. I mean, some people you just connect with. It just works. And when that part of a relationship works so well, it makes it so much harder to let go of everything.

I’ve spoken to a few people recently about social media and how much it controls how we think and upsets our usually good mental health, and the responses are all the same.

We block and unblock each other from Facebook every other week. We make statuses public, so we know the other will see them when they look and you know you’ll get some kind of reaction from it. We hurt ourselves by looking at their online photos, seeing that photo that was taken on a Saturday night out and they look so happy, of course they do. We forget they’re thinking exactly the same thing whilst looking at us. It is SO unhealthy, but we cannot help ourselves. We want to know what the other person is doing.

Long gone are the days you had to call somebody’s landline to ask if they were home. Or if you were so desperate to see someone you’d have to wait outside their house. Although, that kind of behaviour is generally frowned upon!

But so in a huge way, our advanced technology makes breaking up even harder. I mean how much easier would it be to move on if you couldn’t easily see or locate their every movement? Which you do, because it’s human nature to be inquisitive (I’m not talking 24/7, I think if you have got to that stage it’s time to seek some help), but then you see the things you don’t want to see which sends you into this whole new downward spiral of negative thinking.

Whatsapp. Ohhh whoever invented Whatsapp, seriously?! It’s great to be able to see when someone has read your message… but really, you’ve been online 6 times now in the past two hours and you’ve not responded to my message.

You’re online now, and you’re not responding to my message. Who are you talking to? Because it isn’t me. You must be seeing someone else. I mean at this point as we only broke up three days ago so that is obviously the only logical answer…Obviously right?! Ha!

And the more you delve, and the more you question each other, the more erratic and snappy your texts between each other become, the more you come to start to dislike each other, forgetting the very reasons you got together in the first place. The very reasons you loved each other.

It’s frightening just how much imessage, Whatsapp and Facebook can control the way we’re feeling. It’s damaging. Gone are the days you split from someone and go weeks or months without seeing or hearing from them. I mean we had mobile phones and text but, you never could get all you wanted to rant within 160 characters anyway!


You didn’t know where they were, what they were doing, or who they were doing it with. You didn’t have photos of their weekends out rammed down your throat which you know you shouldn’t look at but you do because you’ve not got the self-control not to! And when we didn’t know, our minds couldn’t and didn’t wander into this ridiculous state of paranoia and accusations.

I’ve had my heart broken a few times in my life and equally I’ve broken a few. And each time you do have your heart broken it gets a little harder to move on from. Your barriers get higher and you find it more difficult to trust, but when you do find someone you feel you want to give your all to again, those barriers seem to come down quicker than ever before. Because in the end, whatever we tell ourselves and however we portray ourselves to the rest of the world, we all essentially want the same thing; to find someone to love and to be loved back.

The worst thing though, has to be when you finally see your ex on a dating site. It is absolute confirmation that you are both now over. And you have to relive those feelings from when you split all over again. It’s gutting, simple as.

Social media; it has a lot to answer for.



You’ve gotta think she’s hot… Right?

I had a friend a while back, who was friends with another girl. They’d been friends for a few years.

Now I knew this girl liked my friend, but when I asked my friend about her she’d say “Well I’m not really sure. We get on really well but I don’t really fancy her at all”.

Obviously we spoke a lot more about it than just this, but strangely they are now a couple, and are planning marriage.

I see them doing all the things couples do. Going out for dinners and having dinner parties, spending their weekends doing the typical lesbian things that generally make me cringe (I’m sure I’m just jealous); visiting the farmers market, spending a Friday night at an educational or cultural play at the local lgbt centre. Taking drives out to a nice country pub, discussing work and careers, the list goes on! and I see them doing all these things really well, and being a totally solid unit.

However, what I don’t see is the passion. What I don’t see is how they make the perfect couple in the ways that matter just as much if not more?

And so to me it begs the question, why did they get together in the first place? Through loneliness? Through fear of ending up alone?

We all have those thoughts (I think) when we start heading into our 30’s and we’re still single, plodding along from one failed relationship to the next (yes, I’m talking about myself).

But my point is, surely if you don’t find someone physically attractive, if you don’t find them sexy, hot, beautiful. If you don’t adore every bit of their physicality… I don’t think you can be in love with that person.

Maybe they do have an amazing personality, maybe you can hold conversations for hours on end and maybe you share all the same common interests and love spending every moment possible together. But surely, that’s your best friend? That’s not your lover. That’s not your life partner. That’s your best friend.

Lovers fight, lovers disagree. In my opinion the best relationships are when you have different interests, things that irritate you about the other and things that put the make-up sex on a whole other level. That’s love. Love isn’t real, true, amazing love unless there is passion. If there isn’t passion, it isn’t worth it. Love is volatile, love is equally as frustrating as it is happy. Someone that annoys you so much you can’t help but laugh, and when you see that person all those things that pissed you off just disappear, and you can’t help but smile. That is love. The person you can’t live with, but you can’t live without.

“There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with. Love shouldn’t be one of them”

Jill Robinson

You can grow to love somebody. Can you grow to find someone sexually attractive? I’m not sure you can.


Online Dating – The Beginners Basics

So I joined a popular dating website about two years ago now. I actually met my latest ex-girlfriend through this site. However since recently using it a bit more often, there have been certain things that are starting to irritate me somewhat:

Firstly (and I have been a little guilty of this myself in the past), I do not want to be texting you for a month, talking about meeting up, but never actually doing so.

If you want to meet me, here is my number and let’s go for a drink. As nerve-racking as it sometimes is, it really is that simple.

Secondly, my profile states who I am and the types that I go for; I tend to like women a bit older than myself, but of course this is based on your maturity level not mine.

I have a mild obsession with married straight women. I like feminine women, girly girls, with all the curves in all the right places. If you have read my profile, thank you, but some of you clearly didn’t think it through before deciding to send me that message.

You look like me. I don’t want to date ‘me’.

Which then means you either didn’t read my profile, or you’re suffering from an extreme case of reverse body dysmorphia.

Thirdly, I am always really frustrated by the generic “hi” messages;


Well “Hi” right back at yah.

This conversation is over. I mean it hasn’t even started and it’s already over. You like me, yet you’re expecting me to start the conversation? Nu-uh. Nope.

Another thing, if someone does not respond to your “Hi”, they’re not being rude, they’re just not interested.

There is no point in engaging in conversation with someone if you’re not interested. It’s called leading someone on or getting someone’s hopes up. So when they don’t respond, please girls have some self-respect because this –

“Hi” (12:34)

“Hiya hun” (15:37)

“Hello?” (15:55)

Let me tell you, it’s not cute. It’s desperate.

Lastly, but probably the most important one for me – do not start a conversation with me by telling me where I work, please. It’s a little bit weird and kind of slightly stalker-ish. Do I tell you where you work? Who your friends are? No, no I do not. “You work in that bar don’t you?” Yes. Yes I do…



Sisters Or Girlfriends? Lesbians Couples Who Look Related

You all know the scenario the longer you are with someone, the more similar you become one.

Girlfriend TV’s Arielle Scarcella and friends explain the lesbian phenomena: Sisters Or Girlfriends?

Many of my lesbian couple friends have told me that straight people often comment on their ability to somehow look like they could be sisters, or at least, related.

We all know that the longer we are with someone, the more similar we become. You start shopping at the same stores, eating at the same restaurants etc…”