Tag Archives: Lesbian

This Needs To Stop: South African Woman Killed For Being A Lesbian

A young gay woman – who was only 20 years old – has been brutally murdered in South Africa over the Christmas holidays shortly after graduating high school.

Motshidisi Pascalina mutilated body was found in an open field near her home in Evaton township, Gauteng province. She was last seen on 16 December.

Cedric Davids, a member of the Young Communists’ League working committee in Gauteng, told eNCA news.

Her body was discovered in a veld two days later. We suspect she was raped. Her body was burnt. Her eyes were taken out and her private parts were mutilated.
Most of her body had sustained burn injuries. Her parents identified her by her tattoo on her leg, it was the only thing visible.”

The police’s Tsekiso Mofokeng added,

The paramedics were on scene where the woman was abused. We are investigating a case of murder. At the moment we do not know the motive for the incident and no suspect has been arrested.”

Police her sexuality is the reason for the crime. Four men have been reportedly arrested in connection to the murder.

Yesterday, a march was organised in protest against hate crimes, and the hashtag #MotshidisiPascalina is currently trending on Twitter with people expressing their shock and anger at the murder.

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Another Study Concludes Women’s Sexuality Is More Adaptive And Flexible Than Men’s

A survey by The National Center for Health Statistics has revealed women in the US are far more likely to say they are bisexual compared to men.

The National Survey of Family Growth survey asked 9,100 adults aged between 18 and 44 about their sexual identity and sex life.

According to the results covering 2011 to 2013, 5.5% of female respondents said that they identified as bisexual, compared to only 2% of male respondents.

The survey was conducted anonymously via computer rather than directly through a person-to-person interview.

In the previous 2006 to 2010 survey 3.9% of female respondents identified as bisexual compared to only 1.2% of male respondents.

There was no significant change in the percentage of respondents who identified as homosexual or heterosexual.

This mirrors findings in similar studies that have been conducted around the world.

A study conducted by the University of Notre Dame in the United States also found the women were three times more likely to identify as bisexual.

Also, data that was released last year rom the UK’s Office for National Statistics found that women were twice as likely to identify themselves as bisexual when compared to men.

According to Dr Elizabeth McClintock, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Notre Dame in the United States, these results show that female sexuality may be more adaptive and flexible and male sexuality.

Women with some degree of attraction to both males and females might not be drawn into heterosexuality if they have favourable options in the heterosexual partner market.

Women who are initially successful in partnering with men, as is more traditionally expected, may never explore their attraction to other women.

However, women with the same sexual attractions, but less favourable heterosexual options might have greater opportunity to experiment with same-sex partners.”

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Australian Movie ‘All About E’ Is Like ‘Thelma & Louise’ But Gayer and More Diverse

All About E is one film that has garnered a lot of positive critical reception. Not only did the film land a spot on our list of the best films from the Cinema Diverse event but it also won the Chicago Great Gay Screenplay competition as well.

Also worth noting is the fact that All About E‘s writer/director Louise Wadley took part in the Outfest Scriptwriting Lab. So, now that you know the level of talent behind the film, I suppose you want to know ‘what’s it all about?’.

The best way to describe this one is ‘a gay Thelma & Louise‘. Indeed, although that iconic movie thrived on (and made its way into our hearts because of) subtext, All About E has got more than enough maintext to keep you warm at night. Its lead is the titular E, an Arabic Australian woman who hosts Spanish themed nights at a local gay club.

But when she wants to ditch her matador get up and host a night that celebrates her Lebanese background instead, racist boss Johnny gives her a giant, resounding ‘no’.

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The morning after Johnny puts his foot down, E and her gay BFF Matt find that E accidentally brought home a whole bunch of cash with her and the two have plans to open up their own club.

Unfortunately, trouble soon comes when they discover that the money belongs to Johnny leading E to her ex-girlfriend Trish’s farm to hide out, vowing to make it right with her former partner.

With a synopsis like that, there’s clearly a lot to love about All About E. It’s a little bit funny, it’s got a little bit of romance and while we wouldn’t call it ‘gripping’ in the traditional sense, the drama surrounding the criminal antics are a huge draw as well.

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What’s also positive is to hear Louise Wadley’s thinking behind the film, as she told Lesbian.com her inspiration:

The inspiration was born out of a deep frustration of not seeing my Australia represented on screen. Where is the multicultural world that is the reality of most Australian Cities ? You just don’t see it. We need to catch up with our story telling and our casting. Why not have a woman of color be the lead?

So her cultural background doesn’t have to be the whole story just as why not have lesbians in other roles in drama as just a fact and a part of their character not the reason for the whole story. So it isn’t a coming out story. It isn’t a story that is just about being Arabic Australian – it’s a beautiful story about finding yourself that’s also a road movie, a thriller and a love story.”

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And on All About E‘s love scenes, the writer/director explains that

I wanted to show a beautiful love scene between two women that was both passionate and real but also one that was complex and told a story like all of our other scenes.”

All About E is now available via Wolfe Video.

15 “Lesbian Rules” to Break

The opinions about stereotypes are all over the board. Some people think that stereotypes exist to keep us down, and some people think that stereotypes exist to make categorization easier. Personally, I feel that they can be used for your benefit or against it, depending on how they’re applied.

Certainly, lesbians have their fair share of stereotypes – some of them make no sense to us in the community because they were assigned by someone who didn’t understand. But how many of these things do you find yourself doing just because you feel like you should?

In order to be classified as a stereotypical move, it’s got to be something that you do because society and culture says you should. Obviously if any of these things are a genuine part of your personality and mannerisms, you shouldn’t stop doing them just for the sake of removing the stereotype – but if you’re not sure why you do them, why would you keep doing them?

Rule #1: Butch women need to be aggressive.

I’m not sure how this one came into play, but there’s no reason why a butch/stud woman needs to be identified by her anger and aggression. In many cases, this is a negative set of traits – so the addition of women who are only exhibiting these traits because society tells them they should, really need to stop. (Depending on the nature and extent of the aggression, professional counseling may be available to help curb an ongoing temper problem – if you think it’s something you need to pursue, it probably is.)

Rule #2: Femme women need to be helpless.

This is one of those things that, in many cases, may be just going along with the “traditional” gender roles that society assumes. I encourage everyone to be as powerful as they can be (without being aggressive; as stated previously, this is a different issue entirely). Of course, it’s possible that this isn’t a stereotype, but rather who you are – but knowledge is power, and helplessness is just an end to learning. Learn to be self-sufficient, learn to bring yourself up – don’t let anyone keep you down because of your label!

Rule #3: Lesbians must get attached quickly and move in together as soon as possible.

Okay, so attachment itself isn’t bad. But the nature of this stereotype is that we, as lesbians, become attached to someone before we even really know them – which isn’t really healthy. If you’re with a woman who treats you well and you want to move in together, great! But please, make sure you’ve done your proper research first – don’t just move forward with your relationship because you think it’s time. Wait until you’re actually ready.

Rule #4: Lesbians must decorate with rainbows and naked women – everywhere.

I love rainbows, don’t get me wrong. I even have a floor-length rainbow dress that I consider to be my gayest apparel. And of course, I love naked women (don’t we all?). But if your house “outs” you before a person even walks in the door, you might be going a little overboard. Try choosing a few statement pieces, scattered throughout your house. It’s one thing to be proud of your sexuality – it’s another thing entirely to lean on it for all your décor choices.

Rule #5: Lesbians should hit on straight girls so they know we’re willing to teach them.

Straight girls… What can I even say? Sometimes, we wonder if a woman is straight, because of the way she dresses, or the way she acts, or the way she flirts with us mercilessly. But is there really any difference between predatory lesbians and predatory straight men? Nope. She’s fair game if she comes onto you – but if you know she’s not interested, keep your distance.

Rule #6: Lesbian break-ups need to drag on for ages.

Maybe it’s the attachment thing, but chances are you’ve had at least one break-up that wasn’t over with nice and quick. (I had one girlfriend who I broke up with, multiple times, over the course of 4 years – yeah, it gets bad sometimes.) But the easiest way to get over a break-up is to stop living in it! If you’ve went your separate ways, go your separate ways. Resist the urge to get back together with someone who obviously hasn’t changed since four days ago.

Rule #7: Lesbians must pretend that bisexuals aren’t real, or that they’re really just confused.

It’s almost 2016, and we’ve covered a lot of ground in terms of equal rights for homosexuals – but bisexuals are still getting the short end of the stick. While it’s completely in your rights to prefer not to date a bisexual, it’s not really fair to single them out and discriminate against them. This is the exact thing that causes some bisexuals to have “mixed closets” (that is, call themselves a lesbian when dealing with lesbians, a bisexual when dealing with bisexuals, and a straight girl when dealing with straight people). If they are discriminated against in a community that’s supposed to be about inclusion, what message are we sending?

Rule #8: Shy lesbians must become intoxicated before making a move.

Look, we are all shy under the right circumstances. If you have to be drunk or high to make a move on something, that doesn’t come across as shy – it comes across as either an addiction or a lack of attraction. Get up the courage to approach a woman without compromising your mental clarity, so that you’ll actually be able to remember what was said. Who wants to be with someone who’s not going to remember it in the morning?

Rule #9: Lesbians must go “ghost” when they get a girlfriend.

I am so bad about this one personally. I have such a hard time keeping in touch with people, even when I’m single, but it’s definitely worse when I have a girlfriend. I actually used to set an alarm in my phone to remind me to send “good morning” texts to my besties. (Of course, then I got a girlfriend and deleted the alarm…) But it’s important to remember to keep balance. If anything goes sour with your new boo (which we hope doesn’t happen!), who’s going to be there to help you pick up the pieces? Well, your friends would, if you hadn’t ignored them for the whole relationship!

Rule #10: Lesbians must live, sleep, and breathe for sports.

If you like sports, that’s great! But if you just follow along with (or play) sports because it’s what you’re “supposed” to do as a lesbian, you’re missing the point. You should be an individual, and while you shouldn’t shun things just because they’re popular, you also shouldn’t follow the crowd without thinking for yourself. If you like sports, participate in sports – but if you don’t like sports, there’s really no reason to fake it.

Rule #11: Gold stars are better than everyone else.

I understand why some people have an aversion to women who have been with men before. But it’s important to realize that your aversion does not make you an elite breed. Most lesbians have been with a man before. Some of us take longer to come out than others. Some have family who expect certain things from us. Some of us even used to be attracted to men, or maybe we were questioning ourselves for awhile. Shunning a lesbian just because she hasn’t always followed your own rules of lesbianism is no different than if society shunned us as women because we don’t always act the most ladylike. It’s unfair, and it simply doesn’t hold up.

Rule #12: Lesbians must tell their coming-out story whenever they possibly can.

When you first come out, it can be exciting to share your coming out story. But the truth is that most people don’t care how you came out or what the reaction was. If someone asks, feel free to share – and if someone is questioning whether they should come out too, feel free to give them your experience. But to do it every chance you get makes you look like you’re vying for attention – and that’s not a reputation you want to have.

Rule #13: Lesbians must live in basketball/cargo shorts and tank tops.

I love my basketball shorts and my tank tops. For a long time, that’s all I wore when I wasn’t working. In fact, I still wear them on a fairly regular basis. But most of the time, I’m not going to go out like that – it’s just not practical in all settings. If it actually worked to identify me as a lesbian maybe I’d give it more of a chance, but you should wear what makes you comfortable. Don’t give into the idea of a “lesbian uniform” – it doesn’t work anyway.

Rule #14: Lesbians must love cats.

Cats are funny creatures. It’s hard to tell whether they love you or hate you, and often you’ll see signs of both with the same cat. But you don’t have to own a cat just because you’re gay. “Pussy” jokes aside, not everyone likes cats – and you shouldn’t force yourself to live with one (or five) if you really don’t like them. Pets are best when well cared for, and if you’re not happy with the idea of taking care of it, you shouldn’t have it in the first place.

Rule #15: Lesbians must hate men.

I am of the mindset that no one should hate anyone without a well-justified reason. You only need to justify the reason to yourself, but you should at least understand what it is. This applies to racism, sexism, classism, ableism… Pretty much any -ism you can think of. If you can’t actually justify it in a broad sense, you should consider breaking it down into components. For example, instead of “I hate men”, try “I hate men who won’t accept my sexuality”. Doesn’t that feel better?

 

I’m hoping that it’s fairly obvious that some of these rules are exaggerated; I can’t think of a single lesbian who actually “follows” every one of these things, nor would I want to. But if you find yourself following along with these things without understanding why you do, I urge you to explore the real reasons behind it – is it something that you actually agree with or just something you feel like you are obligated to do?

If you find it’s the latter, try to change your views on these things – consider the way you can be the best you, instead of the best “lesbian stereotype”. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, if any of these things actually is a part of who you are, by all means, don’t change yourself to avoid the stereotypes either! Just make sure you’re acting in your own best interest.

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9 Things Lesbians Should Stop Making a Big Deal About

This has been a year full of a number of monumental “firsts” in the gay community. With all these firsts, it doesn’t make sense to me that there are things that we are still (collectively) getting up in arms about. Sure, sometimes people are out against us – but does that really mean that everyone is out against us, always?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for crying out in the face of oppression, and in standing up against those who try to keep us down. But most of the time, we’re not actually the victims we want to think we are.

1. Straight girls “acting gay”.

It’s pretty much become a common belief that sexuality is pretty fluid. Why, then, do we assume that a “straight girl is acting gay” when it’s entirely likely that she is genuinely questioning her sexuality? Think of when you first came out – most of us weren’t 100% sure right away. Instead of assuming that girl is just vying for attention, try giving her a chance. She might surprise you.

2. Straight girls wearing gay clothes.

Once upon a time, lesbians were the ones guilty of claiming clothes that “didn’t belong to us”. Lesbians used to face discrimination for appropriating the fashion choices of men, and now we take it upon ourselves to “own” these clothes (and of course, flannel) and we are disappointed when we see a straight woman wearing them. Lighten up! Clothes are clothes, and they belong to everyone.

3. Labels.

So you’ve always been super feminine, but lately you want to dress more masculine. Or maybe you’ve always been more dominant, and now you’re curious about being more submissive. Ladies, if your personal style no longer matches how you feel – why do you have to conform to the label you previously chose for yourself? Sometimes these labels may be 10, 20, even 30 years old. There’s no rule that says you have to stay the same.

4. Bisexual girls.

It’s amazing to me that, in this day and age, there are still so many people put off by bi girls. When we think of the individual components that make up our hesitation, it’s obvious that they don’t make a lot of sense – but still many of us choose to specify that we won’t date a bi girl. The truth is, a bisexual woman is no more likely to cheat on you than anyone else. A difference in sexuality does not mean that the other person is a pervert – remember it used to be the gays that had to prove that?

5. Allies who aren’t perfect.

I have seen a multitude of posts on social media lately about “shitty allies”. What in the world makes an ally bad? Just because the person asks a million questions that you don’t want to answer, doesn’t mean that they mean any harm. Of course, you should let your allies know if they are asking questions that make you uncomfortable, but generally if they are asking questions, it means they want to understand. Lighten up!

6. Lesbians who aren’t lesbians anymore.

Unless the change happened while you were dating her, it’s really none of your business. And, honestly, even if you were with her when the change happened – it’s not really her fault. As we’ve said previously, sexuality is fluid. Certainly not for everyone, but for enough people that you can’t really hold it against them.

7. Bad portrayals of lesbians in the media.

Okay – this one is probably going to get me a lot of backlash. But let me explain something to you: Complaining doesn’t accomplish anything unless you’re actually willing to do the work to change things. Not everyone is cut out for acting, or singing, or any one specific outlet, but if you’re not working to change things, you’re indirectly part of the problem.

8. Every little thing that could be homophobic.

I get it – sometimes, people are homophobic. But that doesn’t mean that everything that happens to you is a result of someone being homophobic. I see so many examples on social media of people who feel that they were slighted because of their sexuality, when there’s really no way that the person who did the offending had any idea that they were gay. Not everything is about gay versus straight, and to keep assuming that everything is just makes the rest of us look bad.

9. Being friend zoned.

The whole notion of being “friend zoned” is sort of ridiculous. Just because you do nice things for someone does not entitle you to sleep with them – no matter how much you want to. We remember these things when it comes to someone hitting on us, but sometimes we forget when it comes to us hitting on someone else. Be realistic!

16 Things Only Lesbians Know

Ladies, let’s face it. Being gay is like being a member in a top-secret society that everyone knows about, but nobody understands. In some ways, it’s even more difficult now that we’re gaining more visibility in the mainstream media – because a lot of the things that are associated with us simply aren’t real!

Here are 16 things that all lesbians know without even thinking about it:

16. Long fingernails = bad sex.

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Most of the time, when you watch a lesbian porn, these women have super long acrylic fingernails. It can be a huge turn-on for some people, but as lesbians we know there’s no way in hell those fingernails are going inside of us.

15. Tongue rings are NOT magic.

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For a long time, tongue rings have been associated with incredible oral sex. As lesbians, we know that the incredible oral sex has very little to do with the piercing. (wink wink)

14. Scissoring is not like in porn.

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A huge number of lesbian porn features scissoring – but most lesbians who got the idea from a porno are not likely to find enjoyment from it. (It can be an incredibly satisfying experience when done right, but most porn actresses definitely do not do it right.)

13. Most gay bars suck for women.

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Most gay bars cater towards gay men, not to lesbians. I’m not really sure why that is, and hopefully your local hotspot isn’t like that – but probably 75% of the gay bars I’ve been to were mainly gay guys and straight women with their gay best friends.

12. Lesbians are crazy.

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Okay, this isn’t strictly a lesbian thing, and it’s not even all lesbians. But if you think of every lesbian you’ve ever been with, chances are, there’s at least one crazy one. (And if there’s not, maybe it’s you!)

11. Gay ladies are hard to find.

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Unless you’re attracted primarily to butch women, it can be pretty tough to find a girlfriend in the “real world”. Most likely, you’ve looked online, or hit up gay bars (only to find that they were mostly dudes… what’s up with that?). Even among other lesbians, femmes are pretty invisible.

10. Not all lesbians are vegetarians.

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I really have no idea how this stereotype started. I guess since we don’t like “sausage”, we can’t like any meat… Right? But seriously, lesbians are no more likely to be vegetarians than anyone else.

9. Drag is hard for us.

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It’s fun to play around in drag every now and then, but drag kings have it much harder than drag queens do. After all, it’s easy to tuck something between your legs and add a little padding – binding your chest and your hips takes a lot of skill.

8. Lesbians will pretty much watch anything with lesbians in it.

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Even if it’s terrible. (Especially if it’s terrible.) We eat it up, and then complain about the way they portrayed us. It’s part of our nature.

7. You will get asked for threesomes… Regularly.

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Even the least-conventionally-attracted lesbians will hear that they should join some guy and his girlfriend, or some girl and her boyfriend. We are sexualized to the point where a 6 in the “straight world” somehow gets bumped to a “10” in the “lesbian world”. And if you are conventionally attractive? That 10 turns into a 20 (and they think you’re not really gay anyway).

6. Gaydar is not real.

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Especially with straight girls stealing our fashion (I know, I know, fashion belongs to everyone), just because we think someone is gay doesn’t mean she really is. A lot of the time, it’s just wishful thinking.

5. Your exes are going to hook up with each other.

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Since the lesbian dating pool is relatively small, and a lot of women limit their choices even further by rejecting bisexual women (tsk, tsk)… At least once in your life, one of your exes will have sex with (at least) one of your other exes. I’ve got an ex who has slept with three of my exes, that I know of – after a while it’s not even weird anymore.

4. (Some) straight girls assume you’re flirting – always.

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What’s even worse is when they get offended when you set the record straight!

3. Some straight girls will hit on you.

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Not sure if they think it’s funny, if they’re questioning themselves, or what, but there’s always gotta be that one straight girl that messes with your emotions…

2. People will ask why you don’t give guys a chance.

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Sometimes it’s your family members. Sometimes it’s a well-intentioned friend who thinks your life would be easier if you’re straight. A lot of times it’ll be straight men who think they can turn you. And, occasionally, it could even be your gynecologist. (Seriously… Happened to my girlfriend one time. Akward!)

Finally, NO, we don’t all know each other!

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We probably want to, but no, not all lesbians know all other lesbians. That would be so weird – can you imagine if we were all telepathically linked? Think of all the things we could accomplish!

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Study Concludes ‘Most’ Straight Women Are Turned On By Other Women

As we previously reported, a new study from the University of Essex has found that straight women are pretty unique when it comes to what turns them on physiologically, compared to both straight men and gay women.

The big bombshell? Straight women are likely to be turned on by both men and women – while straight men and lesbians are likely to be turned on only by their stated preferred gender.

For the study, published in Personality and Social Psychology, researchers from Essex, Cornell University, and Northwestern University recruited nearly 500 straight, bisexual, and lesbian women in the United States to come into a lab and have their arousal levels measured in response to various sexual stimuli. The researchers then compared that arousal with each participant’s stated sexual preference.

Women were shown videos of “attractive” men and women while researchers noted subconscious responses including pupil dilation.

The researchers found that the majority of straight women (72%) were aroused by both men and women, whereas the majority of lesbians (68%) were mostly aroused by just women.

Gerulf Rieger, lead author of the study, told The Times

If you’re a man, whatever you tell me you’re attracted to I bet in the laboratory your penis will verify that. If a woman has the same conversation with me and tells me she is straight, even if she believes that, in the laboratory her body will contradict her.”

He added

I would like to stress that we did not find or say that there are ‘no straight women. Rather, we stated in the press release that even though the majority of women identify as straight, they are, in their physiological sexual responses (i.e., genital arousal or pupil dilation to images of attractive men and women) either bisexual or gay, but rarely straight.”

Why might this be? In the study, Rieger, who teaches psychology at Essex, cites one possible – albeit controversial – evolutionary explanation that is heavily debated in the scientific community. This theory is that, many millennia ago, forced copulation was standard practice among humans. And because forced sex is dangerous for a female and can result in injury to her genitals, “the female response to any sexual stimulus could have evolved in part to mitigate this risk.”

He further hypothesized that “women may have physiological sexual responses to a variety of sexual stimuli, including stimuli representing both consensual and forced sexual acts, sexual activities of non-human primates, and male and female sexual stimuli” to protect themselves when sex is unwanted.

Regardless of how it happened, we should all take a moment to acknowledge the possibility that straight women are getting turned on a lot more than popular culture would have us believe.

Let the sexual revolution begin.

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The 10 Best Things About Being a Lesbian That No One Tells You

1. Kissing a girl is totally amazing. Its so much softer, sexier and lovelier than kissing a guy.

2. You get to snuggle with someone who’s not covered in body hair.

3. Watching The L-word with your girlfriend

4. You don’t wake up to a boner sticking into your back.

5. Women smell a lot better than men.

6. Women have boobs, which you get to touch.

7. You never ever have to experience pregnancy scares.

8. Another woman knows exactly how to touch you and at what speed.

9. When you move in with your girlfriend, your wardrobe literally doubles.

10. The sex is better, which has actually been proven by science.

BONUS Thing. You get to break all societies patriarchal rules!

Up For Debate: Do Gay Men Get More Stressed Than Lesbians?

There is a new study in town that shows the odd connections between sexual orientation and stress responses.

According to McGill researcher Robert-Paul Juster, there is something funny is going on with lesbians, gay men and heterosexual people when it comes to stress.

The researcher was curious to see how gay men and women would react to stress. He already discovered that men produce more cortisol than women when stressed, and that gay people are more stressed when they are closeted. However, nobody had ever compared the stress responses of gay men and lesbian to straight people.

For the study, he brought in 87 gay, lesbian, straight and bisexual participants into his lab, made them do stress-inducing math problems and a mock job interview, and watched what happened to the cortisol levels in their saliva.

Since gay men are exposed to stressors such as discrimination and homophobia on a daily basis (what psychologists call minority stress), it was thought that gay men would get more stressed than straight men. Wrong.

It turned out while straight men’s cortisol spiked 20 minutes after the stressor; gay men remained almost entirely unperturbed.

That’s a good thing, right? Not necessarily.

It could mean that gay men have suffered so much stress they no longer react. For example, one previous study found gay men living in American states with more discrimination had blunted cortisol reactions.

It is also possible that gay men have simply developed better coping mechanisms for stress than straight men, and that their hormones have been pummelled into non-reactivity.

Which would mean lesbians should have lower stress reactivity too, right? Nope.

It turns out lesbians and bisexual women were more stressed than their straight peers.

In fact, gay women reacted much more like straight men, and straight women reacted like gay men.

The only difference was that the queer women took twice as long to get stressed. Why? Juster thinks it might be because the gaywomen spent more time turning the stress over in their heads after the event, but for now that’s just a guess.

So what should we make of the mysterious difference between how gay men and women react to stress?

Juster says,

That’s a really good question, and to be honest with you I have no clue. I really don’t know how to explain it.”

What we have learned, Juster says, is that we shouldn’t lump gay men and lesbians together when it comes to stress.

Also, because Juster controlled for sex hormones such as testosterone and progesterone in his study, we now know stress reactivity is related to social factors and not just biology.

Fortunately, Juster still has his postdoctoral research to work it all out.

There’s a lot of follow up studies that I need to do to figure out what’s going on. This is something I hope will stretch out through my entire career.”

Stay tuned.

Research Suggests Women Are Either Bisexual Or Gay But ‘Never Straight’

Researchers at the University of Essex have suggested Women who think they are heterosexual are actually bisexual or gay and “never straight”.

The research, led by Dr Gerulf Rieger in the Department of Psychology, involved a sample of 345 women who had their physical responses to sexual stimuli monitored, with experts concluding that most women are either lesbian or bisexual, with very few actually heterosexual.

Women were shown videos of “attractive” men and women while researchers noted subconscious responses including pupil dilation.

Participants who identified as exclusively heterosexual were aroused by both men and women, whereas those who identified as lesbian showed much stronger sexual responses to women in the clips shown than to men.

Dr Rieger explains:

Although some lesbians were more masculine in their sexual arousal, and others were more masculine in their behaviours, there was no indication that these were the same women.

This shows us that how women appear in public does not mean that we know anything about their sexual role preferences. Men are simple, but women’s sexual responses remain a mystery.”

BBC Presenter Opens Up About Her Struggles Growing Up With No Lesbian Role Models

BBC presenter Jane Hill – who came out in 2009 – told the Mail on Sunday about her struggle to come out and said she had no one to look up to, but credited fellow host Sue Perkins and model Cara Delevingne for increasing the public’s acceptance of LGBT women.

Where were girls like Cara when I needed them?”

Hill also discussed the difficulties she faced when coming out – a struggle she believes the younger generation will no longer face.

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Talking to The Mail on Sunday, she said

When I was growing up, I had terrible struggles with who I was,” said Hill. “It was hugely difficult for me. I didn’t know any lesbians. I didn’t see any gay women in the media in magazines. It wasn’t talked about. It wasn’t part of the conversation.

I went through my 20s and 30s not being who I was and not feeling it was right for me to be able to be who I was. There was just one image of a lesbian, this tough clichéd image and it didn’t fit me. I really struggled and it took me a very long time to get here.”

She added.

What I think is truly incredible is that I now look in a magazine and I see Cara Delevingne, this beautiful model, just completely relaxed about who she is and not trying to hide it, not being secretive.”

Delevingne, who recently went public with her relationship with singer St. Vincent, has been open about being bisexual, telling Vogue earlier this year that she has loved both men and women.

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Hill continued:

What I find even more extraordinary the fact she is gay isn’t even a story. It’s just accepted, it’s fine. It’s just who she is. For young girls growing up, this is incredible.”

She also credited Sue Perkins for helping to “turn the tide” for young lesbian and bisexual women in the UK.

There she is, a completely open, gay woman hosting the biggest BBC show on television. Bake Off is huge. But it’s about middle class, middle England, Mary Berry and Victoria sponge cakes and there is Sue just embraced as part of all that and to any woman of my age who is gay it’s an extraordinarily wonderful thing.

I know Sue, I think she’s wonderful and, like Cara, I think she’s absolutely inspirational and just the very fact of them representing themselves not as clichés but as who they are is tremendous.”

Sue Perkins

However, she said that she is cautious of using her sexuality to further her career and criticised celebrities such as Miley Cyrus – who revealed she is pansexual earlier this year – for doing so.

I see people like Miley Cyrus doing the gay thing – and while that’s absolutely fine – it’s not such a realistic representation for most women. It’s a bit of a London bubble thing, a fashion thing. But we’re moving forward. For me life is good.

At work, my sexuality has never been an issue. That’s how it should be. I’m just very glad I can be exactly who I am.”

10 Things To Look Out For In A Perfect Facial

A decent facial can work wonders for your skin and also your stress levels!

Here are Sam’s top tips on what to look for during a first class facial treatment!

Consultation – this is often overlooked but a great consultation is vital to understand your skin’s needs. Your therapist should find out everything from how long you spend in the sun (ie are you an avid gardener) to how long you have to spend on your regime and what your goals are. They should listen and summarise what you want from the facial.

The Room – is it relaxing? Does it smell good?  Is it warm enough? Ambience is key to relaxation.  A heated bed is totally expected now, and the bed should be covered in layers of towels or blankets to wrap you up in once your body gets cooler.

Hygiene – a bugbear of mine is dirty hands – they should be washed in front of you! Fresh breath is also vital – I always pop a Smint in before going near anyone’s face.  It’s just curtesy.  Oh and clean towels -I don’t want to see tide marks from the lady before!

To chat or not to chat – sometimes I want to know what is going on my skin – sometimes I want to shut up and chill out. Your therapist should read this (or just ask you at the start).

The Cleanse – Just because it is a cleanse doesn’t mean it needs to be rushed. My cleanse is like a massage.  It should feel thorough but luxurious and if I have congestion around my nose they should focus on it (even if it is purely to make me feel like they listened). No area should be missed (ie sides of neck, and shoulders if they are going to massage as I don’t want dirty oil massaging into my lovely clean skin!). And never ever ever cover both nostrils. I would like to breathe without having to open my mouth.

Removal – yes this is important! I don’t want soggy cotton wool, or sponges that have been used on every client before me. (Remember hygiene…) Some aromatic warm clean mitts please. Every bit of my face should be covered – there is nothing worse than a bit of cleanser over your top lip or a load of exfoliant being massaged round your face afterwards.

The massage – and relax….. This should be in time to the music, very slow – firm on the right places, soft on the others.  Sweeping movements that seem flawless until you have no idea which hand is where. The best compliment for a therapist is a snoring client believe it or not.

Thou shalt not leave your client – during the mask. Ever.  And I want choices – a boring hand and arm massage is not for me, but extra time on my tense shoulders of a decent foot massage will get me coming back again and again. If I’m going straight home then a scalp massage with oil is simply divine.

Clean up – I don’t want to leave with a) mask up my nose, b) oil in my hair if I have requested otherwise, or c) a slick of over  applied moisturiser.

Aftercare – therapists seem to think we don’t want to buy! I love to be told by my hairdresser what will help my hair and my clients want to know what will improve their skin.

Don’t just throw us out of the door – tell me what I need, offer me some water and somewhere to “come round” and one of the nicest things I have had is my therapist calling me to see how my skin was a few days later.  Treatment plans are also lovely especially running up to something like a wedding.

Hurrah, Liz Feldman Comedy ‘Hello Again’ Gets CBS Put Pilot Commitment

Hurrah, Liz Feldman has landed put pilot commitment from CBS for her new comedy series Hello Again.

Deadline reports that the show will focus on a “mostly happy” married woman whose life gets complicated when a new, next-door neighbour moves in and it turns out it is a man who just so happens to be the only person besides her husband she’s ever been in love with.

Feldman – credited already for writing 2 Broke Girls and One Big Happy – will also executive produce the new series.

On Twitter, Feldman wrote that the series will feature “a gaggle of lesbians.”

Feldman writer is also the host of This Just Out With Liz Feldman, billed as a “super low budget, ridiculous DIY chat show featuring interviews with some of the most visible and beloved lesbians.” Guests on the show have included actress Kate Moennig (“The L Word”) and musicians Tegan and Sara.

Lesbian Coming Out Story Illustrated By Stunning New Photo Series

The series – by photographer Arjun Kamath – captures the struggle that LGBTs go through when coming out, as well as the rejection and ridicule they may still face.

The images show the journey of Alpana and Maitreyi, who are shown climbing out of a closet, before finding peace and acceptance together.

The powerful imagery aims to show the fear and confusion many people feel when realising their sexuality, and the strength it takes to be honest with oneself, as well as society.

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Speaking about his inspiration for the photographs, Kamath said:

Being straight, I think I can look at the whole situation more objectively. I don’t think discrimination against gay people is any different from other types of discrimination, such as discrimination against overweight people or discrimination against dark skinned people. People should be allowed to lead their lives without judgement. It’s cowardly to make fun of people who are different from you. That said, I don’t consider myself to be a gay activist. I’m an artist and I work on subjects that move me.”

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Asked about the reaction to the series, the photographer said its reception had been nothing but positive.

The most heartening aspect has been receiving messages of support from strangers. Just today, a bisexual woman messaged me that saying how the photo shoot had moved her to tears. She says she’d been ostracised throughout her life for being bisexual and being dark skinned. She said she was really happy I’d brought this issue out into the open.”

Photographer Documents the Moment She Came Out to Her Parents (Pics)

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It was not Paola Paredes intention to come out to her parents, but then she saw a book of lesbian photography and it planted a seed in her head.

Talking to Advocate, she says the book motivated her to capture her own coming-out story because “the idea of capturing it in photographs made it all of a sudden appealing.”

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Coming out in any family is not easy, especially for Paredes, because her parents come from a conservative Catholic background.

I am not Catholic despite my upbringing. But I do understand that for other Latinas who are, it is hard because of what religion makes people believe. There is a lot of work to do be done. It is slowly becoming better, but the change starts in each person to build tolerance and to educate people. I think Latin women can get a lot achieved. We are empowering, intelligent, passionate, and charismatic.”

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… I looked at them once more and shared my love for them once again. I said the words. ‘There is something I haven’t been able to share with you.’ And after that I just took a deep breath and let out the words. ‘I’m gay.’ After I told them, it was like popping a massive balloon. I had let out such a heavy thing that I had been carrying for so many years, so I couldn’t help but cry and put my head on the table.”

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Their instant reaction was to reach out. They put their hands on my head and said ‘we don’t care, we accept you.’ They started crying as well. We all did. It was super overwhelming. After that, we carried on a three-hour conversation. I had a chance to share with them things they hadn’t heard before. We talked about their fears. But overall they were nothing but accepting.”

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This is a video she shot during the “making of” her orchestrated dinner-table scene, to prepare for her parents and her sisters to join her during her coming out.

Coming To Terms With Your Sexuality

Coming to terms with your own sexuality is always a complicated and unique experience.

There are a lot of opinions out there. Some will tell you what you are feeling is just a phase. Some will tell you that you are just second guessing yourself, and to let that idea go. Others will try to get you to believe that what they are saying is the truth.

Ignore them. Ignore them all. No one can tell you how to feel, or who to love.

The only person who can uncover the truth is yourself.

If you are struggling to come to terms with the fact that you might be gay, know that you are not alone. Many struggle with these exact issues. And there is a way to deal with it.

You need to spend some time to re-evaluate yourself.

Go somewhere quiet where you can be alone, and think. This is key! You need to think. Think about who you are, what makes you you. Remember all of the positive things about you, and know that no matter what your sexuality is, it does not determine your self-worth.

Imagining yourself as both heterosexual and homosexual – ignore social norms and figure out which one feels more natural to you. When you imagine yourself kissing someone, is it always a woman? Do you find women attractive, and in more than just a physical way? Which gender makes your heart race and palms sweat more?

Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, pansexual – they are all just labels used to describe types of love. Focus less on the labels and more on your feelings.

How you feel is more important than how other people might label you.

Coming to terms with your sexuality takes time. It won’t happen over night. You’ll go through some emotions, very similar to the Five Stages of Grief.

1. Denial – “No, I’m not gay. I can’t be.”

2. Anger – “Why is this happening to me?”

3. Bargaining – “Maybe if I experiment a little I’ll find out I’m not actually gay…”

4. Depression – “I can’t believe I might be gay”

… until finally you come to the most important stage:

5. Acceptance.

Accepting your sexuality (no matter what it is) is a profound experience. It’s this moment where your mind suddenly becomes crisp and clear.

You stop, and realise that, yes, this is your sexuality and that it isn’t that bad. When you accept your sexuality, you will feel this huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. Suddenly, everything falls into place. All your problems have a source and all your feelings have a reason. Suddenly, you can’t stop smiling.

Some people have always known that they were gay. It takes others a long time to come to terms with their own sexuality.

No pace is wrong, or too slow. You have to take your time and really feel confident in yourself.

No one can tell you what to be. If you’re gay, you’re gay! You cannot decide to be gay or straight. You can only decide how and when you will accept your sexuality.

And when, and if, you accept your sexuality, it will feel amazing.

Like everything in life, there are things you cannot change. You cannot change your sexuality. You can only change your reaction to it. If you choose to accept that you are gay (or straight, or bi, or whatever), it is a huge step in your growth as a person that needs to be celebrated.

It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

I’m Christian But I’m Also a Very Out Lesbian (Video)

Crystal Cheatham was told by her church that she had the voice, an incredible gift of playing the guitar, the ability to lead a band, to write music, and to mentor children. But all that meant nothing to them because she’s a “practicing homosexual.”

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Today, I am more than comfortable with my orientation and my faith.

Watch her touching story below

 

Male Police Officer Suspended After Allegedly Threatening Rape a Gay Woman

Police sergeant, Jesus Menocal Jr. from Florida has been suspended after being accused of sexual abuse by a young lesbian couple he pulled over.

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The couple – who have asked not to be identified – said that Menocal pulled them over for making a U-turn and then detained them for questioning. He told one of the girls, who is 17, to get in the back of his cop car, and had her 20-year-old girlfriend follow behind in her car.

Back at the station, the couple say Menocal took the younger girl into a private room and began asking her inappropriate questions.

Talking to WSVN, the young woman said

… [He asked me] how do I have intercourse, and I told him, ‘Why do I need to answer that? Why is that necessary?’ He insisted me to answer it, so I told him how me and my partner have intercourse, which is me and my girlfriend. After, he asked if I was a virgin. He asked me, if he was to test me right that moment, if I had any diseases on me.”

She went on to say that Menocal began rubbing his genitals over his pants and alleges he told her to “take off my pants or I was going to get arrested.”

After putting her shorts back on, he asked to see her tattoos.

He wanted me to take off my shirt and my bra together, and I told him, ‘No. Why do I have to do that? There’s no reason to do that,’ Then he said, ‘Oh I thought you wanted to fuck’. Honestly, I thought I was going to get raped. I thought he would make me sleep with him.”

The teen reported that the officer returned her to her worried girlfriend about fifteen minutes later, and they immediately filed a police report.

The day after the alleged sexual assault, Menocal was suspended with pay while the Hialeah Police Department began an investigation into the couple’s allegations.

The Hialeah Police Department, Police Chief, Sergio Velázquez said in a statement.

Very serious allegations were made, which require a methodical, detailed and thorough examination of all statements and evidence. This is a very delicate road … and we seek to be impartial. Our job is to get to the bottom of this. If it is proven that there is wrongdoing, the appropriate decision will be taken. Otherwise, he will return to work.”

Funny Video Alert | Give This Mom Credit For Her Hilarious Reenactment Of Daughter’s Coming Out

The daughter, who goes by Bri, first posted the video on her Tumblr page.

My mom says this was how it was when I came out. I love her.”

…And we love her too after watching this hilarious reenactment too and her amazing support to her daughter.

As we all know not all LGBT children get the same treatment. Many struggle for acceptance in schools, at church, at work, and especially in their own home.

You can see the funny video here:

Watch | Can You See Past the Label?

A new video is out from the United Nations, which is hitting home the impact of discrimination – “Lesbian”, “gay”, “bisexual”, “transgender”, “intersex”, “queer”: can you see past the labels?

The video is from the United Nations Free & Equal campaign which celebrates the contributions that millions of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people make to families and local communities around the world. The cast features “real people” (not actors), filmed in their workplaces and homes — among them, a firefighter, a police officer, a teacher, an electrician, a doctor and a volunteer, as well as prominent straight ally and UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon.

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It challenges you to look beyond the label and see these people for what they truly are, just normal people going about their daily lives.

The video was launched in Times Square in New York City, where it will play throughout the day, and on YouTube.

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Ki-Moon, the Secretary-General of the UN, said:

We should all be outraged when people suffer discrimination, assault or even murder simply because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. We should all speak out when someone is arrested and imprisoned because of who they love or how they look. This is one of the great neglected human rights challenges of our time. We must right these wrongs!

Some may oppose change. They may invoke culture, tradition or religion to defend the status quo. Such arguments have been used to try to justify slavery, child marriage, rape in marriage and female genital mutilation.

I respect culture, tradition and religion, but they can never justify the denial of basic rights. My promise to the lesbian, homosexual, bisexual and transgender members of the human family is this: I’m with you. I promise that as Secretary-General of the United Nations I will denounce attacks against you and I will keep pressing leaders for progress.”

Will the Labour Party be Brave Enough to Appoint a Lesbian MP for their Leader?

Ever since Ed Milland resigned as party leader, rumours have been circulating about who will step forward to take the Leadership.

One MP being considered is Wallasey MP Angela Eagle, who happens to also be a lesbian.

Mr Miliband resigned as party leader after the Conservatives won an absolute majority in the General Election.

Labour’s deputy leader Harriet Harman – who is serving as acting leader until a new leader is chosen – has also announced she plans to step down, leading to a second leadership vacancy.

Ms Eagle sits on the centre left of the party and has represented the Wallasey constituency since 1992. She has also served as a Minister under Gordon Brown and is currently Shadow Leader of the House of Commons, is one of just three out lesbians currently in Parliament.

Ms Eagle, who was re-elected with a 38-point lead in her Wallasey constituency, is thought to be considering a run to replace Labour leader Ed Miliband, who resigned yesterday.

A source told the Liverpool Echo:

Angela’s thinking about running the Labour leadership or deputy leadership. She’s popular with members, the PLP (Parliamentary Labour Party), and unions.”

The source said her experience as former chair of the party would stand her in good stead, as would her current positions as chair of Labour’s national policy forum and shadow leader of the House of Commons.

She would face stiff competition from rumoured front-runners Chuka Umunna, Andy Burnham, Yvette Cooper and Dan Jarvis – making a run for deputy leader more plausible.

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Ms Eagle’s twin sister, Maria Eagle, is also an MP.

Lesbian Convicted of Hate Crime Against a Gay Man

A Washington court has convicted a 21-year-old lesbian and her twin brother of aggravated assault while armed, which was listed as a hate crime, for an October 2013 attack that caused a gay male victim to suffer facial bone fractures and a broken wrist.

Christina Lucas, 21, who did not testify at trial, told police that she was a lesbian and therefore could not be accused of an anti-gay hate crime.

Christina, her brother Christopher Lucas and a group of men approached the unnamed victim about 12.30 am on 19 October 2013 after he left a party in Washington DC with two female friends.

In a statement, the US Attorney’s Office said

The male victim was knocked over on the sidewalk and punched and stomped multiple times by the Lucases and others in the group. Christina Lucas had an object in her hand and used it to cut the victim’s face while he was lying on the sidewalk.”

A police arrest affidavit says a witness told police that the assault followed a verbal altercation that began when Christina Lucas approached the male victim and called him a “faggot motherfucker.”

The witness, a woman who was with the male victim at the time, told police that Christopher Lucas punched her in the face when she “attempted to intercede” to assist the male victim, the affidavit says.

 

Christopher was also found guilty of simple assault for punching a woman in the face who tried to help the victim. The Lucases will be sentenced on 9 June.

Watch | Raven Symoné Supports Miley Cyrus on Not Wanting to be Labeled Bisexual

While serving as a guest host on “The View,” Raven-Symoné said she supports Miley Cyrus‘ desire not to be labeled for her sexuality, but added: “Miley, I agree with you and, girl, I said it first.”

Symoné was filling in for Whoopi Goldberg, who was dealing with a family issue, when Cyrus’ recent interview, in which she said she has relationships with both men and women, but does not want to be labeled “gay” or “straight” came up.

Also read: Miley Cyrus: “I’m Not Hiding My Sexuality”

“I think I heard that somewhere,” Symoné said. She then played a clip from a 2014 interview she did with Oprah Winfrey.

I don’t want to be labeled gay. I want to be labeled a human who loves humans. I’m tired of being labeled. I’m an American. I’m not an African-American. I’m an American.”

Speak on the view, Symone said of the backlash she received after the interview

They thought I said I wasn’t black and I didn’t want to be labeled. Miley, I agree, we should not be labeled because it creates tension between people and you feel like you can look down, like that’s this type of person and this is how I should feel about you.”

Also read: TV World Gets Another Diverse Lesbian Character as Raven-Symone Guest Stars in ‘Black-ish’

Co-host Rosie Perez added

I think it’s a generational thing because I think that there was a time where labels were necessary because we were disenfranchised. We were ostracized from the conversation. So to put ourselves into the conversation, to take our seat at the table, there was a need to say, ‘Wait a minute, I am this. I’m not ashamed of it and I’m going to speak out'”

Under Gay Propaganda Law, Russian Court Says Lesbian Is Unfit To Teach

A St. Petersburg school teacher was fired in December 2014 for her lesbian social media activity.

The teacher, only identified by her first name, Alevtina, was sacked because her employer said her behaviour was incompatible with her job.

She last week lost a court appeal to be reinstated, but plans to continue to fight the ruling.

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A court called upon “experts” to analyze the teacher’s photos on VKontakte, Russia’s version of Facebook, and declared them “extremely unacceptable from a moral point of view.”

Alevtina appealed to the court in January to get her job back plus a compensation of 300,000 rubles, or around $5,600, for emotional distress. Her appeal was rejected last week on the grounds that she had committed “acts of indecency.”

She lost her job in December because of the crusading of Timur Isayev, who has made a career of outing school teachers who post expressions of homosexuality online. He claims their outward homosexuality violates Russia’s law against “gay propaganda.” Isayev said in December he had gotten 29 teachers fired for being gay.

On forwarding the photo to the school, Isaev wrote: “You have an unhealthy, psychologically abnormal lesbian teacher working for you.

This teacher openly reveals on social media that she is an immoral lesbian and that she lives or co-habitates with another unhealthy woman just like herself.We strongly urge you to dismiss her for incompetence in the profession.”

Gay people have faced increasing issues in Russia since President Vladimir Putin in 2013 signed a federal law banning the “promotion of non-tradtional sexual relations”.

The teacher told Meduza she “proudly wiped her tears” after hearing the court rejected her appeal. She might file suit with the European Court of Human Rights, the thorn in Russia’s legal side, she said. But even if she were to prevail in the European court, while she might get some compensation, there is not much precedence to show she would get her job back.

It’s not illegal to be gay in Russia, but the law against gay propaganda that president Vladimir Putin passed in 2013 essentially lets the government crack down on anyone it believes is being too public or flamboyant about their sexual preferences.

Celesbian Spotting Coachella & the World goes Wild When Kristen Stewart and Alicia Cargile are Seen Together

This weekend we saw the second and final weekend of the 2015 Coachella music festival in Indio, California, come and go.

And like always the stars were certainly out in force. The music festival is one of the most loved by VIPs – especially the celesbian crowd.

Last year we saw lesbians everywhere, but this year the only focus was on one and her BFF.

Who are we talking about? The now inseparable, Alicia Cargile and gal pal Kristen Stewart.

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Stewart was grilled pretty heavily last week on subject of Cargile on Wednesday night’s episode of Conan on TBS. Watch the clip below to see how she handles it…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUQ3DR__5jQ

 

Study Concludes That Sexual Identity Changes Linked to Symptoms of Depression

Lesbian and bisexual women who initially were in heterosexual relations and do not discuss their same-sex attractions, or romantic feelings are more likely to experience depressive symptoms than others, a survey has found.

The study was carried out by sociologist at University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), who conducted a this survey with heterosexual, bisexual, gay and lesbian individuals. People selected either said they were open with there sexual identities throughout the survey period, as well as people whose identities changed from gay, lesbian, or bisexual to heterosexual or from gay or lesbian to bisexual.

Bethany Everett, assistant professor of sociology at the UIC in a paper that appeared in the Journal of Health and Social Behaviour, explaining…

This findings highlight the need for social support during periods of sexual identity transition toward same-sex attraction, not just for adolescents, but also for young adults.”

Using data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health, Everett’s study included over 11,200 respondents.

A sexual identity change toward same-sex attraction may continue to be a stressful life event despite the society’s increasing acceptance of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people.

Supporting people during this time-period may be critical for improving their mental health.”

Future research should continue to investigate the factors that contribute to the link between sexual identity change and symptoms of depression.

It may be that changes to bisexual, gay, or lesbian identities expose young adults to new sources of LGBT-related discrimination.

Additionally, there is a certain amount of stigma attached to sexual fluidity itself that may impact mental health during this developmental period.”

One of Aussie TV’s Most Loved Television Presenters has Come Out as Gay

Faustina “Fuzzy” Agolley is one of Aussie TV’s most loved television presenters, and as part of her 31st birthday celebrations, the former model has publicly come out as gay.

Fuzzy made it big in Australia, hosting most watched music program Video Hits on Network Ten. It was a job that took her all over the world to interview music’s biggest entertainers including the Alicia Keys, Kanye West, Adele, Green Day, Rihanna, and Sinead O’Connor.

She made the revelation in a blog post entitled I’m gay, which was published today.

As a child I always knew I was gay, but somewhere the feeling got lost. A long and, not always scenic, route ensued to bring me back to who I truly am.”

She attributed her decision to come out to meeting a “tribe” of women whom she could connect to.

For the first time in my life I came to the full realisation of who I am and I felt safe in their company. They bolstered my confidence and gave me my voice again. And I love them eternally for it.”

Fuzzy – whose father is from Ghana and mother is Chinese-Malaysian – went on to conclude by posting to her Instagram account these powerful words:

As black as my skin, as Chinese as my blood, and as Australian and British are my nationalities, I’m also a proud gay woman. Most importantly though, I’m a happy human being.”

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You can read the full post below:

And tonight, to coincide with my birthday, I’m celebrating with friends over Rainbow Cake. It’s the Elton John of cakes, complete with rainbow flares.

As a child I always knew I was gay, but somewhere the feeling got lost. A long and, not always scenic, route ensued to bring me back to who I truly am.

What I needed was to find my tribe. I wasn’t actively seeking it, though sometime last year I met a group of women that I could truly connect to. I could see myself in them in many ways. And they are women of character who I aspire to. Most importantly, they are women that are generous and kind. For the first time in my life I came to the full realisation of who I am and I felt safe in their company. They bolstered my confidence and gave me my voice again. And I love them eternally for it.

Thankfully my tribe has now extended to my family and friends that I’ve had the confidence to come out to. We’ve created noise, a celebratory noise. We’ve drowned out the negativity that sadly weaves through many homes, communities, governments and countries throughout the world.

In life, philosophy and literature imparts one of the greatest lessons we continuously come back to, and that is to know thyself. For those reading this who are LGBT and haven’t come out – even when society may not deem you equal because of your sexuality – know that you are. And just like in my situation, know that there are people in the world that have your back.

Some may be asking “Why does she feel the need to write this?”. The answer is that there is nothing I’m leveraging off or deliberately seeking. This simply feels like the right and natural way to let it be known, sincerely.

As black as my skin, as Chinese as my blood, and as Australian and British are my nationalities, I’m also a proud Gay Woman.

Most importantly though, I’m a happy human being.

Love,

Faustina Agolley

Nigerian LGBT Activist’s Bid for Asylum Rejected Becasue Judge Doesn’t Believe She’s a Lesbian

Nigerian LGBTI activist, Aderonke Apata, bid for asylum was rejected by a British High Court, because the judge ruled her lesbian relationship was ‘fabricated’.

Apata says she now faces persecution, imprisonment and even death if she returns to Nigeria, where she had been an outspoken gay rights activist before moving to the UK in 2004.

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Her applications for asylum have been repeatedly denied as the Home Office did not believe she was really a lesbian.

Also read: UK Home Office Claims Asylum Seeker Can’t Be A Lesbian Because She Is A Mother

Last year Apata, desperate to prove to the authorities that she is homosexual, submitted private photographs and a DVD of her sex life.

However, a Home Office barrister argued last month that Ms Apata cannot be a lesbian as she has children. He claimed that while she “indulged in same-sex activity” she was not “part of the social group known as lesbians”.

Deputy High Court Judge John Bowers QC this week said:

I find it difficult to disagree with the conclusions of the First Tier Tribunal that ‘she has engaged in same-sex relationships in detention in order to fabricate an asylum claim based on claimed lesbian sexuality. I also accept the associated submission made by [the Home Office] that she has in effect adjusted her conduct so as to adopt other customs, dress and mores of a particular social group purely as a way of gaining refugee status.”

He mentioned the “impressive” amount of support she had received, including a petition signed by several hundred thousand people, but said that did not count as evidence.

He disagreed that having children could be considered evidence against her, but did agree Ms Apata was not part of the “particular social group” of lesbians.

In court, Apata was supported by human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell. He said:

It’s bizarre that the judge does not accept that Aderonke is a member of a particular social group, namely lesbian women. I find it offensive to suggest that she’s adopted the ‘customs, dress and mores’ of lesbian women purely in order to gain refugee status, given the evidence that she’s presented in her claim. 

The worst aspect of the ruling is the judge doesn’t accept that she has a well founded fear of persecution if she returns to Nigeria. It’s clear that she’s been publicly identified in the UK and in Nigeria as a lesbian or bisexual woman. Such women face the twin threats of legal persecution and mob violence in Nigeria.”

In Nigeria homosexuality is punishable by up to 14 years in prison, under laws passed in January 2014; the country has also seen a spike in violence against homosexual people.

Apata’s mental healt also formed part of the case. In 2005 she was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress and attempted suicide while she was in prison, waiting for deportation.

She has not made a public statement, but although she is frightened of the future Apata believes there may be a chance for her to stay.

Her long-term partner Happiness Agboro, to whom Apata is engaged, is also from Nigeria and has already been granted asylum because of her sexuality.

Food Writer & Great British Bake Off Favourite Ruby Tandoh Comes Out on Twitter

Runner-up to the BBC’s Great British Bake Off, and now food writer for The Guardian, Ruby Tandoh, has come out.

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She took to Twitter to tell her followers that she was out to her parents.

https://twitter.com/rubytandoh/status/583615656999923712

She linked to a video of Diana Ross’ ‘I’m Coming Out’, and said: ‘Me to my parents today. feeling lucky and joyful and f r e e. over and Out.’

https://twitter.com/rubytandoh/status/583617949317124096

‘& to all the bros who hate social media, who pit it against “real life”,’ she added. ‘i never would’ve had courage to be me w/out twitter’s queer queens.’

Tandoh made headlines back in 2013 when she competed on the BBC show, finishing runner-up.

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While she was loved for her cooking and dry wit, there was also gossip that she ‘made eyes’ at male judge Paul Hollywood.

In her coming out, she made a point to put those rumours firmly to rest.

https://twitter.com/rubytandoh/status/583623071711547393

She did see the funny side though, retweeting this