Tag Archives: Like An Adult

7 Ways to Wake Up in the Morning, Without Any Caffeine

I don’t know about you, but… I’m a bit of a caffeine fiend. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was pretty young – I think before I even drank soda, really – and it wasn’t too long before it became a daily thing. (When you grow up with truck drivers, coffee is seen as a necessity – good, strong coffee at the start of the morning is the only way to go.)

Imagine my surprise when I found out that coffee wasn’t actually the most effective way to wake you up in the morning. In fact, in many parts of the world, coffee is drank before a short nap – since it takes about 20 minutes for coffee to fully “kick in”, the 20-minute nap actually makes both work more effectively. (But that’s not the little scientific trick I want to talk about today.)

Besides, depending on the method you use to brew your coffee, it might be a giant pain in the ass to brew a decent cup before you’re fully functional. How can you wake up in the morning without flipping on the coffee maker? We’ve got you covered.


Sunlight.

Up until relatively recently, sunshine was the only alarm clock that existed. That long-term, 300-generation-spanning history has the human brain programmed to wake up when the sun comes out. Opening your curtains when you wake up helps your body to “fight back” against the melatonin it’s been producing all night, which helps you be more alert.

If you need to wake up before sunrise, or you’re sleeping somewhere that doesn’t have windows, try an illuminating alarm clock (also called a daylight simulator). These will gradually start to brighten the room, starting shortly before you need to be up, so that it’s as bright as your brain thinks it actually needs to be before you wake up.

But, daylight simulators are pretty expensive (which is 100% of why I don’t have one myself), so those looking for a less-expensive option can choose to put a lamp on their bedside table. Ideally, you should have “daylight white” bulbs, or even simulated sun bulbs, to trick your brain into thinking the light is more natural than it really is. Then, simply flip the switch on your lamp as soon as your alarm goes off. It takes a little more work, but it doesn’t require you to change your schedule or spend a ton of money.


Cold water.

Start your day with a nice quick shower, and finish with a cool-to-cold rinse. (As cold as you can handle it – be sure you’ve got a way to warm back up afterwards, without warming your shower back up.) The cold water boosts your metabolism, and greatly reduces the chance of you falling back to sleep.

Drinking a glass of cold water can help, too, so if you can afford to do so, I highly recommend keeping a mini-fridge full of water bottles in your room. Drinking your cold water helps combine the effects of the cool shower while also making sure you’re well-hydrated – sleep seriously sucks the water out of your body. Most of the time, when you’re feeling tired, you don’t actually need caffeine – you need water.


Breakfast.

I know it’s been said a million times before, and I’m probably one of the worst when it comes to implementing this tip, but eating a healthy breakfast within the first hour of waking up is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. (Fun fact: It’s called “breakfast” because you’re “breaking a fast”.)

Since you’re probably still at least a little sleepy at this time, it’s probably not when you want to make a full-on feast. But, eating a small, healthy, fiber-filled meal, such as oatmeal and berries, helps you wake up now, and helps you maintain your focus throughout the day.

(And yes, those Shredded Wheat commercials are right – fiber helps keep you full and focused. This is one time when it’s good to listen to the advertising hype.)


Orange juice.

This feels super weird for me to say, but drinking a glass of orange juice will actually wake you up at least as much as a cup of coffee. Citrus fruits do wonderful things to your brain, and they’re quite tasty too – as long as you haven’t recently brushed your teeth, of course. The gentler stimulation also helps prevent your awake-ness from deteriorating over the course of the day, too, although it’s still important to supplement with water.


Morning dance party.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had to shut off the alarm tones you had that were parts of songs you loved, because they simply find a way to work themselves into your dreams. Rest assured – we’re not talking about that right now. In fact, using your cell phone as an alarm clock actually isn’t such a great idea after all – but we’ll go over that in a little bit.

Once you’ve gotten up, brushed your teeth, and all that jazz, then it’s a good time to turn on some of your favorite upbeat songs and start your day with a little workout. Not only does the music activate parts of your brain that have been sleeping for at least a few hours, the addition of physical activity increases blood flow to the brain and gives you a positive start to the day.

Plus, when you dance along to music (as compared to other forms of exercise – which are also great), it doesn’t really feel like you’re working out, so you’re more likely to enjoy it, and it might even become one of your favorite parts of the morning.


Morning routine.

According to one of my favorite bloggers, having a regular morning routine “sets you on the right path for the rest of your day”. The specific things that are in your morning routine are bound to vary – mine include brushing my teeth, taking my puppy out for a walk, planning my day, and putting on some deodorant. I prefer to take my showers later in the day, after I’ve done my daily exercising, but there are a good number of people who prefer to do it in the morning to get themselves up.

No matter what routine you land on, it’s important that you keep it up every day – for at least 30 days – in order to cement it into habit. Once you’ve formed a habit with it, you’ll find yourself waking up easier, just because your body is used to getting up and doing certain things at certain times. A healthy, effective morning routine will also encourage you to get your life together, too – making it a great life wake-up call, too.


Something to look forward to.

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the crack of dawn to play with your new toys on your birthday or Christmas or whatever gift-giving holidays you personally celebrated as a child? (Apologies to those who don’t celebrate gift-giving holidays, but I think the connection can be made anyway.)

According to Hal Elrod, the author of the first self-help book I ever powered through in two days, one of the biggest parts of turning yourself into a morning person is simply creating a life you look forward to waking up for. This might seem a little cliché, and maybe even like bad advice, but let me explain: When you fully love your life, and all that’s in it, you don’t want to sleep in, because you don’t want to miss anything. Everyone gets 1440 minutes a day – how many are you going to spend sleeping in and making coffee?

Are You Anxious, Or Just A Worrier?

Most people use the words “anxiety” and “worry” to mean just about the same thing. After all, they both deal with a sense of discomfort surrounding a particular topic. However, most people don’t realize that the two are actually very different psychological states, producing very different experiences. It’s definitely possible for one person to experience both within their lifetime, and even within a much shorter time period, but knowing the difference between the two can make it easier to calm yourself down. Here are 10 important differences you need to know about.

Difference #1: Worry is in our head, while anxiety extends to our bodies.

Worrying lives almost entirely in the brain, while those who suffer from anxiety will actually feel it through their entire bodies. The exact experience will vary from person to person, of course, but many people experience anxiety as a “charged” feeling, almost electrical. Others may experience racing heartbeat, perspiration, and shortness of breath.

Difference #2: Worry deals with a specific threat, while anxiety is usually broader and more generalized.

For example, you may worry about missing the last bus home, if you get out of work or school late. You may worry about your car stalling on the freeway when you can’t afford to fix it. You may be anxious about traveling in general, as your brain has created multiple scenarios where bad things have happened, and presented them as if they were logically probable outcome.

Difference #3: Worriers think verbal thoughts, while anxious people often think in mental imagery.

One of the reasons that anxiety extends through the body is that the brain creates pictures of the negative scenarios, rather than “having a conversation with itself”. These mental images are often rooted in emotions, which causes an increase in heart rate and provokes a sense of panic. Verbal thoughts, on the other hand, are treated as “possible outcomes”, rather than “probable outcomes”.

Difference #4: Worry often leads to problem solving, while anxiety often leads to panic.

Worry actually serves a valuable purpose in our lives: triggering the brain to go into creative thinking mode. When we are worried about a situation that we can change, we can strategize the solution that will do the least damage. When we’re worried about a situation we can’t change, we may find a way to be okay with it. Anxiety’s lack of specificity makes it harder to work through, though, which leads to frustration, panic, and a variety of other emotions.

Difference #5: Worry causes a mild emotional response, while anxiety causes severe emotional distress.

Since worry triggers problem-solving skills and specific problems, it’s not likely that it’ll get in the way of your daily life. Heightened stress over a long period of time has been linked to cardiovascular disease, but as long as you’re working through the problems that sparked the worry, you should be able to get past it without much disruption. Anxiety isn’t so simple – and in fact, it’s much more powerful. This means that it has the ability to cause serious damage in your personal and professional life if not managed effectively.

Difference #6: Worry is rational, while anxiety is irrational.

We worry about things that present a real and present danger, whether to our person, our family, or our job. For example, if you performed poorly at work during the last quarter, you’ll probably worry about the results of your next review. However, if you’re concerned about something that doesn’t seem logically connected – such as being concerned that your girlfriend is using you for your money, if she earns her own money… It’s probably anxiety.

Difference #7: Worry is within our control, while anxiety is out of our control.

Although there are many methods for managing anxiety, both with and without medication, it’s almost impossible for us to talk ourselves out of an anxiety episode. Since anxiety isn’t based in logic and reason, using logic and reason to fix it doesn’t really come naturally. It often takes an outside fixture – such as another person, or an anxiolytic of some kind. Worry, while not always a simple fix, will generally diminish once the immediate cause of the worry has been addressed.

Difference #8: Worry moves on, while anxiety moves around.

Once the underlying cause of our worry has been resolved, the worry usually goes away. Worrying is a temporary state. Anxiety, on the other hand, can stay for long periods of time, even crossing from one area of your life to another, or even occupying multiple areas at the same time. This can make it even more difficult to resolve without outside help.

Difference #9: Worry doesn’t affect other things, while anxiety touches everything we do.

Since worry involves smaller, more focused thoughts, worrying about something isn’t going to do anything to your day-to-day life. No one takes a sick day just because they’re worried, unless there are significant other factors involved. Anxiety, on the other hand, has the ability to cause so much distress that you may have days where it’s all you can do to get out of bed. You may be restless and distracted, and this can definitely impact your personal and professional life.

Difference #10: Worry is a mental state, while anxiety is a mental disorder.

In a figurative sense, the mind of an anxious person doesn’t connect the way it should. Maybe there are wires crossed somewhere, or maybe there’s an over-abundance of a certain chemical, or maybe someone messed with the programming and broke the system. Psychologists don’t really agree on what causes anxiety, but they do know that it can negatively impact your life if left untreated.

Thankfully, some sufferers may be able to manage their anxiety on their own without medication or therapy, but if you find that you’re experiencing anxiety for excessive periods of time, with excessive frequency, or with an intensity that prevents you from living your life, please be sure to get in touch with a mental health specialist in your area – you deserve to break free from your anxiety!

How To Stop Your Pets From Killing The Mood

Pets are great, aren’t they?

About a month or two ago, I had a little situation with my anxiety. No one was home except me and my dog, and my entire body was racing over who-knows-what. I was on the verge of tears, and my dog seemed to know exactly what to do to help calm me down. I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so grateful to have her around.

Then, not even a full week later, she invited herself up into my bed at the worst possible time, and adamantly tried to wiggle herself in between my girlfriend and I. We’d forgotten to put her to bed before beginning our romantic festivities. If you’ve never been violently shoved out of the mood by a pet, let me tell you… It’s pretty awkward.

This isn’t even the first time my dog has done this, either. When she was little, we’d have to stick her in a kennel before getting intimate… All because one time she started trying to nurse on my exposed nipple. As awkward as bad-timing-cuddles are, wrong-species-nipple-licks are the absolute worst. (Well, I’ve heard it’s even more awkward if your pet actually physically touches your genitals, but this is something I thankfully haven’t experienced.)

She’s not even the first pet that I’ve had that tried to get involved, either. An ex-girlfriend had a dog that would try to hump the leg of whoever was humping on his bed. A Chihuahua I used to own would (audibly) cry from the corner of the room the second the pants came off. Once I even dated a girl whose cat would sit on the headboard and watch. (We mostly had sex at my place after that.)

According to pet lifestyle expert Wendy Diamond, some animals just react strangely when they see their pet parents getting it on. “Some dogs are not phased by their owner having sex in front of them and do not exhibit behavioral signs of excitement or stress.” In cases where the pet does act out, she says it’s likely based on territorial guarding. She says that this territorial guarding “can cause some dogs to think that their pet parent is being attacked by his or her sexual partner, on what the dog believes to be his bed.”

So, essentially, when your pets ruin the mood, it’s because they love you. Or something like that. They don’t exactly understand the concept of human sex, but they do see the things that their parents do, and in some cases may try to mimic that behavior, in an effort to not be left out.

Obviously, that’s not the type of playing you want to do with your dog, so let’s explore some of Wendy’s tips to see what you can do to keep this from happening again.


Option #1: Remove the pet from the bedroom.

Sometimes, the simplest solution is the one that works: Take your pet out of the bedroom when you’re going to be intimate – either with yourself, or with a partner. Some pets will become excited, as they think you’re playing. Others may be aroused, although they probably don’t understand why. Still more are doing it to express dominance – whether over their owner or the bed. This type of loyalty is one of the things we love about our pets, but that doesn’t mean we want it when we’re trying to get busy.

Unfortunately, in issues of dominance or separation anxiety, it might not be helpful to put the dog out of the room. Your dog may whine and scratch at the door, which isn’t exactly going to help things along in the bed anyway. While he’s not getting in on the action, he is a major distraction to you. So what do you do now?


Option #2: Train the dog to stay off the bed.

Okay, so I’ll admit: This is another sort of obvious answer. If your dog normally sleeps in the bed with you and your partner, she may feel that the bed is hers. This isn’t normally a problem, but when she thinks that you’re trying to do harm to the thing that she thinks is hers, she’s going to act up. (Keep in mind this is coming from someone who had to bottle-raise her own dog… We’ve dealt with some separation anxiety problems over the time she’s been alive.)

Training your dog to stay off the bed isn’t as difficult as you might expect, but it will require that she has a substitute bed of her own. My dog has a bright pink kennel with a giant comforter in the bottom, but she’s a bit spoiled, too. You should also keep things in the kennel that make your dog happy, to encourage her to go in it on her own. It usually only takes a few weeks to train a dog to go to their own bed, as long as you stay consistent.


Option #3: Get them fixed.

Most likely, a dog trying to jump into your sex life isn’t because of the sex itself, but there is a connection between unaltered dogs and this “horny” behavior. Along with potentially helping with behavioral issues, spaying and neutering could also save your pet’s life.

If the dog is too old to be safely spayed or neutered, or you choose not to get them fixed for other reasons, obedience training may help. After all, it’s not really about sex – it’s about their reaction to the sex.


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How To Be A Grown-Up With Your Money

I’ve been a “little old lady” for a really, really long time. Okay, maybe not that long, but since I’m barely in the second half of my 20s, it seems like it’s been forever.

There’s one thing that’s always left me feeling a little less in control, though: My finances.

When I was 18, I opened my first credit card – and by my 19th birthday, an ex helped me run up over $1,000 worth of debt. Sure, that doesn’t seem like a lot – but that’s exactly why it’s a problem. By the time I turned 22, a different ex helped me to ruin a bank account I had. (If your bank offers cash advances, do not take these cash advances, it’s a trap – trust me.)

By the time I turned 25, I had horrible credit and what felt like zero chance of recovering. Thankfully, over the past year, I’ve made a lot of positive financial strides – but it would have been much easier to save myself the headache in the first place.

Some of my issues with money are based almost entirely on procrastination. I often wait until almost the last minute to pay my bills.

I’ll write them on the calendar, the day that they’re due – often weeks ahead of time – and then I just won’t get around it until the day before it’s due. Sometimes, I procrastinate even writing the due date down in the first place, which can cause its own set of problems.

Thankfully, though, there are some grown-up ways to help manage your money better, without hiring someone to do it for you. (Because hiring a personal accountant is super expensive, guys. I checked.)


1. Make a list.

According to a 2015 study by Northwestern Mutual, the #1 cause of people creating a financial plan is a financial emergency. We get hit with a hard situation (such as my credit score dropping so low I couldn’t even open a bank account), and it’s easy to feel stuck. Unfortunately, this type of situation doesn’t always result in a financial plan – only about 20% of people have a written plan that they’re working on.

Maybe you’ve got a few things you already know you need to save up for. Great! Write them down on a piece of paper. You should try to be as specific as possible, but if you notice that some of your goals are directly connected to each other, it’s fine to lump them together. (For example, I’ve got a goal sheet of things I want to get for my dog, which includes things like microchipping, immunization boosters, and a spay – these all have to do with her, so they go together as a single savings goal. However, almost-connected things, such as credit card debt on two different cards, should be listed separately.) Try to think of everything you absolutely need to pay, and write those things down first.

If you know how much each of these things cost (and their cost isn’t likely to go up very much), go ahead and jot the price/cost down next to the item on your paper. If there is an ultimate deadline, write that down, too. If there isn’t already a deadline attached to the item, give yourself one – that’ll make it easier to push yourself out of procrastination mode and into react mode.


2. Make another list.

Once you’ve covered the things you need, make a list of the things you want. For me, that includes things like new pens, new tattoos, and a gazebo. None of these things are essential (well, the pens would be if I didn’t already have literally hundreds), but they’re things that would bring me joy – and joy is super important. If your financial plan only consists of the things that are essential, you’re not going to stick with it – you’ll be too busy splurging on the things you want and procrastinating on the things you need. (Hint: This is bad.)

Try to make this list as specific as possible, too – that way, you’ll be able to get prices for these things, as well. Arrange your list from smallest price to biggest price, and then set it aside. These are the things you’re not going to buy right now, but will slowly start working toward as you build up your savings.


3. Break down the “needs” list into smaller savings payments.

If you’ve got big things on your list, such as the down payment for a house or car, credit card debt in the five-figures, or a wedding coming up, it can be daunting to see such big numbers on the page. (Technically, a wedding is a want and not a need, but I understand if you’ve put it on your “need” list anyway.) By breaking these big expenses down into smaller amounts, according to your deadlines and pay schedules, your “to save” list now has a bunch of small numbers, instead of a couple big numbers. Since the numbers are smaller, you’re less overwhelmed by them – which prevents procrastination.

A bunch of small numbers are registered by the brain as insignificant. Think about how many times you’ve spent your pocket change, without even thinking about it – after all, it was just change, and change is insignificant (unless you’re completely broke). Once you get started saving, it’ll be easy to keep saving. It’s the same for any adulting task, really – once you get started, momentum picks up, and you get going faster and better.


4. Open a savings account – or, preferably, a few.

If your bank lets you open a few different savings accounts, take advantage of this feature. This will let you save in multiple spots, so that a dip into your “emergency fund” doesn’t cut into your “new car fund”. Obviously, the nicknames you give to each of these accounts may be different than the ones I’ve provided, but the process is going to be the same.

Once you’ve got these savings accounts, it’s important that you promise yourself you won’t touch them for something other than their intended purpose. This shouldn’t be a situation where you’re hiding money from yourself. Instead, think of it as having multiple wallets, for multiple different situations. Try to keep track of how much you’ve put into each account and how much you’ve taken out, but not necessarily the available balance. Of course, you should watch for unexpected fees, but if you’re effectively making your deposits and collecting interest, most fees will be covered by bonuses, rather than your planned deposits.


5. Get saving, as much as possible.

If your bank offers any type of automatic savings transfers – such as those that automatically “move the change” into your savings account when you make a purchase, sign up for them. If you qualify for any programs that may raise the interest rate in your savings account, make a note to speak with your bank about it as soon as you can. All these little bonuses make it easier to save up for everything you want, without saving any more than you need to. You see what I did there?

If you receive unexpected money that wasn’t a part of your budget, it’s a great idea to dedicate a portion of that money to your savings, as well. After all, you didn’t expect to get it, so it’s like a free gift from the universe. This can count toward your planned deposits, but if you can afford it, don’t track this one. Let it be a bonus for you, for later. The extra interest payments will add up.

When you give yourself extra advantages, you’re literally finding extra money, without even trying. Once you’ve made all the savings transfers you planned to do, you’re going to have extra money in there, because of interest and the “change jar effect”. This money is now yours to spend as you wish – either going toward buying the things off your “want” list, or to give you a head-start on the next thing on your “need” list. (Just remember, if you use it for the “wants”, it’s going to take you a little longer to cross off that next “need”.)


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