Meditating by yourself teaches you how to be one with the universe. Meditating with your girlfriend teaches you how to be one with each other.
1. Select your soundscape.
2. Set a minimum time limit.
Together, decide how long you’d like to meditate for: maybe five minutes, maybe ten, maybe half an hour. Start small and work your way up.
Put a clock where one of you can see it. But don’t set an alarm – that will jolt you out of your reverie.
3. Sit with your back straight and face your partner.
When you think of meditation, you probably think of someone sitting on the floor in lotus position with their legs crossed and their middle fingers pressed to their thumbs.
You don’t have to meditate like this. You can sit in a chair with your feet on the ground, or you can sit on the ground with your legs folded. The important thing is that 1) you’re comfortable and 2) your back is straight to facilitate easier breathing.
4. Place your hands on your partner’s hands.
Place one hand face up on your knee and the other face down. Have your girlfriend do the same, so that you’re touching palm-to-palm.
Placing your hands palm-to-palm in front of you with your arms outstretched isn’t recommended, because your arms may get tired.
5. Look at each other.
Make eye contact with your partner, and fight the urge to laugh – eye contact can be tricky, but it’s important. (You’re allowed to blink.)
Look at your partner. Look at her looking back at you. It’s a cliché to “get lost in someone’s eyes,” but if you do this exercise right, you will.
6. Breathe at the same pace.
Inhale deeply for three counts, then exhale deeply for three counts. Make sure you and your partner are inhaling and exhaling at the same time. Get into a rhythm.
7. Release your mind.
Empty your mind. Stop consciously thinking of anything.
If thoughts pop up, don’t stress about them. Don’t follow them. Let them enter and exit on their own. Having thoughts doesn’t mean you’re “failing” meditation.
Allow yourself to relax. Release your muscles so that all you feel is the weight of your girlfriend’s palms on yours. Feel her heartbeat in your hand. Keep looking in her eyes.
Let the world melt away until you’re the only two people left.
8. Transition back to the real world slowly.
When your time ends, don’t immediately jolt back down to earth. Take a moment to appreciate the peace that you two cultivated, and pick a time to do it again – say, tomorrow morning?
If the meditation didn’t help you relax, don’t stress; it will come with time. The important thing is that you and your girlfriend keep practicing, cultivating a safe and quiet place where you can enjoy each other’s company.