Tag Archives: Social Media

How Social Media is Changing the Way We Come Out

Is it easier to come out via social media, or is it just more instant?

What a time to be alive – social media makes it possible for us to express our thoughts simultaneously to all of our friends and family, as long as they’re on our social media accounts.

Despite the fact that it discourages any true social interaction, many claim that the social media revolution has made it easier for them to stay in touch with people – which, essentially, is one of the primary purposes of your social life anyway, right?

True, we’re getting that interaction from the other side of a screen, instead of face-to-face, but in some situations, that might be preferred.

For example, in the “real world”, your friends probably won’t know all of your work details, or remember your birthday. It makes sense, of course, because it can be a lot to remember. In the “real world”, you can’t instantly tell everyone about the new job – it would require several phone calls or visits in order to get the word out to everyone.

One of the biggest ways that social media is influencing our social interaction may be how people choose to come out to their friends and family.

In the “old days”, someone would have to work up the courage to tell their family members that they were attracted to the same sex – while these days you can simply change a little box on your profile and everyone will know. Or, you could post a single status update, and bam – everyone will know.

On the other side of the coin, for as long as it’s been an option, there have been people who would break into your account and “come out” for you – through one of these methods.

Often they’re in jest, such as a straight guy posting on his friend’s page that the friend is gay – which is instantly delivered to all of his Facebook friends. Sometimes it’s done more maliciously, as someone who’s not ready to come out can have their account compromised by a jaded ex-lover. (Of course these are just examples, but they are possibilities to consider.)

Do these “involuntary” coming out stories affect the integrity of those who have made the difficult choice in coming out through their social media?

Well, yes, in a way. I still encourage my coming-out friends to come out to the people who matter most, in a face-to-face setting. Sure, it takes a world of courage, but the trade-off is that they are free to share their questions and concerns with you without being in the public eye. They are less likely to feel that it has been thrown in their face (although definitely some will still feel this way, and we can’t change that.)

If you come out strictly through your social media accounts, people may assume it’s a joke. This is especially true if you are in one of the “invisible” categories, such as masculine gay men, feminine lesbians, or bisexuals in any position. It can be seen as a cry for attention, even if that’s not your true intention.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for being “out” on your social networking sites – but you’ve got to make sure that you’re making the right decision for you.

For those who really don’t want to be out to their family, coming out on social media can be an accident waiting to happen. You forget that you’ve listed your sexuality in the open, and then a conservative family member finds your page – and instantly sees everything that you’ve ever posted that backs up your homosexuality, all collected into a tiny box.

Personally, I came out to most of my family before I came out to most of my friends, but I understand that I’m in the minority here.

Your friends and family deserve your honesty – but that doesn’t mean that everything is their business. No one should force you to come out, and if you aren’t ready to come out, leaving those portions of your social media profiles “private” or “hidden” may be a good way to safeguard yourself. I’d love to say that we’re past that point in our society where we need to hide our sexuality – but sometimes that’s simply not the case.

For those who don’t necessarily want to “hide”, but don’t have the courage to come out completely in the open, social media can actually be a helpful tool. The pseudo-anonymity of the online world can allow us to be whoever we want to be – even if that person is just someone we’re afraid to admit we really are.

In these cases, your social media account could be a helpful first step to you. Come out there first, quietly – maybe just change your “Who I’m Interested In” section and go from there. Don’t make a big deal out of it, because most people won’t see it as a big deal – but those who do will find it as a segue to open the conversation.

If you’re scared to bring it up, allowing someone else to start the conversation can be a lifesaver.

They might not react how you want them to – and you can’t force them to. If you were to expect that they accept you as you are, essentially you’re not accepting them as they are – which is just as bad. Sure, you might think that they’re wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with being hurt by their reaction. But you can’t force them to react as you want.

All in all, I think that the claims against social networking are bitter. It might be taking away from our face-to-face communication, but in many ways it can help us to be more open people. Without social networking and the internet, we wouldn’t be able to voice our opinions to millions of people every day – and that really is a special feeling for most of us.

Don’t let social media be the only social life you have, and don’t use it as a crutch to stay in the closet. Facebook works best when you use it as a tool for communication rather than a substitute for it. Just make sure that you’re being true to yourself and honoring your personal needs first.

Halsey’s Responds To Accusations She’s Using The LGBTQ Community As Marketing Stunt

Halsey has hit back after someone accused her of using the LGBTQ community as a marketing strategy. 

The singer posted a photo from one of her shows in São Paolo, Brazil, to her Instagram on July 6, captioned “peak bi gurl evolution.”

The first photo showed her standing on stage, singing, the second showed her doing the same, except with a rainbow Pride flag.


However, one Instagram user commented on Halsey’s “peak bi gurl evolution” post saying, “rainbow is the new marketing strategy.”

Halsey – who is bisexual, has been out as bisexual, and everyone who pays even a smidge of attention would know she’s bisexual – was having none of it, commented back,

“There’s been a flag in my show for 5 years. You’re just not paying attention you whiny little baby.” Oof, tell ’em, Hal! The singer’s fans couldn’t get enough of this clapback.

Halsey, who came out in 2015, has repeatedly spoken out about the stigma bisexuals face both from the heteros and from within their own LGBTQ community.

“So if I’m dating a guy I’m straight, and if I date a woman, I’m a lesbian. The only way to be a #True bisexual is to date 2 people at once.”

She also has continuously portrayed same-sex relationships in her music, videos, and choreographed live performances.

National Unfriend Day: 14 Types Of People You Need To Ditch Today

We all know that our Facebook friends list are about 25% real actual friends.

The rest are people we went to school with and people we met and friended while drunk, then never saw again. Also, there are even a surprising number of Facebook friends that you actively dislike.

But, really, do you need or want hundreds of Facebook friends?

Likely today marks the 5th year of National Unfriend Day, a day that makes it socially acceptable (ish) to delete the most annoying of your Facebook friends.

It’s time to clear out the friend clutter. So how do you decide stays and who goes.

Just ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do they post unwanted spoilers for your favourite films/TV shows?


2. Are they almost a complete stranger to you, and yet you know every minute detail of their life? Has it ever crossed your mind that that’s a bit weird?


3. Do they post endless smug pictures of their charmed, approval-seeking lives?


4a. Do they post tonnes of baby pictures? (This one depends on one other factor)

4b. Is this a baby with which you have an actual emotional attachment?

In which case, they can’t post enough photos of their adorable offspring. You can keep them.


5. She’s your ex and you know you shouldn’t be stalking her like this…


6. Are they forever copy-and-pasting chain statuses?


7. Do they send you constant Candy Crush requests?


8. Do they demonstrate a remarkable ignorance of how to actually use Facebook?


9. Do they go on regular offensive rants about the gay/feminist/black/Muslim ‘agenda’? – DELETE


10. Do they post loads of cute animal photos and videos? – LOL, that’s what a Facebook feed is for. They can stay.


11. Are they an emoticon lover – to the point you have to google in order to understand what is being expressed in their status?


12. Do they over share? Like every minute updates of their living day…


13. Do they vague-post? Like ‘well that was unexpected… ;)’ or ‘SOME PEOPLE are just so annoying’. Ditch, you don’t have time for their psychological mind games.


14. Would you ever have an actual real-world conversation with them?

If the answer is no then, well, they’re not a friend, are they?



New Advert For Domestic Abuse Puts ‘The Dress’ Debate To Good Use

Last week the world went crazy over the picture of a dress which some saw as white and gold, while others saw it in blue and black. Picture was shared millions of times online – opening a catalog of debates including gender, race and prejudices.

However, the South African branch of the Salvation Army has but the picture to good use; using #Dressgate to launch a powerful awareness campaign around domestic violence.

The organisation has produced a poster showing an image of a young woman, covered in cuts and bruises.

She’s also wearing ‘that dress’ – albeit the mythical white and gold version.

The message on the advert reads: ‘Why is it so hard to see black and blue?’

A caption adds: ‘The only illusion is if you think it was her choice. One in six women are victims of abuse. Stop abuse against women.’

Using the hashtag #StopAbuseAgainstWomen, the campaign hopes to piggyback off of the enormous virality of the white and gold/ blue and black argument.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love… And Social Media

We’ve all been there. That messy break up when you don’t really want to break up but the other person does. Or where you both know deep down it’s for the best but, it doesn’t make it any easier.

Why am I not good enough for you? Why am I not right for you? If you’re so right for me, and I’m so happy, how are you not? The question goes over and over in our minds.

It sends us crazy. Like, literally crazy. We sometimes feel like we’re losing control. Our emotions are so up and down from one day or even one hour to the next.

It’s worse when the sex is good. I mean, some people you just connect with. It just works. And when that part of a relationship works so well, it makes it so much harder to let go of everything.

I’ve spoken to a few people recently about social media and how much it controls how we think and upsets our usually good mental health, and the responses are all the same.

We block and unblock each other from Facebook every other week. We make statuses public, so we know the other will see them when they look and you know you’ll get some kind of reaction from it. We hurt ourselves by looking at their online photos, seeing that photo that was taken on a Saturday night out and they look so happy, of course they do. We forget they’re thinking exactly the same thing whilst looking at us. It is SO unhealthy, but we cannot help ourselves. We want to know what the other person is doing.

Long gone are the days you had to call somebody’s landline to ask if they were home. Or if you were so desperate to see someone you’d have to wait outside their house. Although, that kind of behaviour is generally frowned upon!

But so in a huge way, our advanced technology makes breaking up even harder. I mean how much easier would it be to move on if you couldn’t easily see or locate their every movement? Which you do, because it’s human nature to be inquisitive (I’m not talking 24/7, I think if you have got to that stage it’s time to seek some help), but then you see the things you don’t want to see which sends you into this whole new downward spiral of negative thinking.

Whatsapp. Ohhh whoever invented Whatsapp, seriously?! It’s great to be able to see when someone has read your message… but really, you’ve been online 6 times now in the past two hours and you’ve not responded to my message.

You’re online now, and you’re not responding to my message. Who are you talking to? Because it isn’t me. You must be seeing someone else. I mean at this point as we only broke up three days ago so that is obviously the only logical answer…Obviously right?! Ha!

And the more you delve, and the more you question each other, the more erratic and snappy your texts between each other become, the more you come to start to dislike each other, forgetting the very reasons you got together in the first place. The very reasons you loved each other.

It’s frightening just how much imessage, Whatsapp and Facebook can control the way we’re feeling. It’s damaging. Gone are the days you split from someone and go weeks or months without seeing or hearing from them. I mean we had mobile phones and text but, you never could get all you wanted to rant within 160 characters anyway!


You didn’t know where they were, what they were doing, or who they were doing it with. You didn’t have photos of their weekends out rammed down your throat which you know you shouldn’t look at but you do because you’ve not got the self-control not to! And when we didn’t know, our minds couldn’t and didn’t wander into this ridiculous state of paranoia and accusations.

I’ve had my heart broken a few times in my life and equally I’ve broken a few. And each time you do have your heart broken it gets a little harder to move on from. Your barriers get higher and you find it more difficult to trust, but when you do find someone you feel you want to give your all to again, those barriers seem to come down quicker than ever before. Because in the end, whatever we tell ourselves and however we portray ourselves to the rest of the world, we all essentially want the same thing; to find someone to love and to be loved back.

The worst thing though, has to be when you finally see your ex on a dating site. It is absolute confirmation that you are both now over. And you have to relive those feelings from when you split all over again. It’s gutting, simple as.

Social media; it has a lot to answer for.



Online Dating – The Beginners Basics

So I joined a popular dating website about two years ago now. I actually met my latest ex-girlfriend through this site. However since recently using it a bit more often, there have been certain things that are starting to irritate me somewhat:

Firstly (and I have been a little guilty of this myself in the past), I do not want to be texting you for a month, talking about meeting up, but never actually doing so.

If you want to meet me, here is my number and let’s go for a drink. As nerve-racking as it sometimes is, it really is that simple.

Secondly, my profile states who I am and the types that I go for; I tend to like women a bit older than myself, but of course this is based on your maturity level not mine.

I have a mild obsession with married straight women. I like feminine women, girly girls, with all the curves in all the right places. If you have read my profile, thank you, but some of you clearly didn’t think it through before deciding to send me that message.

You look like me. I don’t want to date ‘me’.

Which then means you either didn’t read my profile, or you’re suffering from an extreme case of reverse body dysmorphia.

Thirdly, I am always really frustrated by the generic “hi” messages;


Well “Hi” right back at yah.

This conversation is over. I mean it hasn’t even started and it’s already over. You like me, yet you’re expecting me to start the conversation? Nu-uh. Nope.

Another thing, if someone does not respond to your “Hi”, they’re not being rude, they’re just not interested.

There is no point in engaging in conversation with someone if you’re not interested. It’s called leading someone on or getting someone’s hopes up. So when they don’t respond, please girls have some self-respect because this –

“Hi” (12:34)

“Hiya hun” (15:37)

“Hello?” (15:55)

Let me tell you, it’s not cute. It’s desperate.

Lastly, but probably the most important one for me – do not start a conversation with me by telling me where I work, please. It’s a little bit weird and kind of slightly stalker-ish. Do I tell you where you work? Who your friends are? No, no I do not. “You work in that bar don’t you?” Yes. Yes I do…



12 highly, highly irritating things lesbians do on social media

I saw this article and smiled, then realised half the things on this lists I actually do… sign. Orginally written by Sophia M T Carter for her blog ‘Anything Can Meaning Everything

(p.s. the picture is Miley Cyrus and not a lesbian, but I think you get my point for using it).

12 highly, highly irritating things lesbians do on social media

  1. Selfie after selfie after selfie and so on. They don’t even try and change their hair, makeup, clothes or even change the background.
  2. Selfies taken half naked….or even worse…in the shower. Why? Just why would you do that?
  3. Selfies taken in the shower when they probably should have stayed covered up.
  4. Selfies taken when they finally decided to dress and you think…shit…they don’t look any better……
  5. Selfies with a caption professing their vanity It always seems to be the less blessed ones, or captions saying they feel sad or lonely. Great idea here. Maybe…just maybe if you stopped taking so many photos of yourselves and got yourself outside you might actually meet some friends that would stop you feel lonely and sad?
  6. Status updates…CONSTANTLY! Shut UP! I don’t care that your girlfriend left you anymore, it may be a revelation, but I’m fairly certain that my news feed cant take it anymore We get it…your sad, but she left you a year ago…move on!
  7. Status updates about how they are newly Lesbian and they’ve found themselves and the one they love. I mean I really am all for that, but please stop posting pictures and how much you love each other and the PET NAMES (princess, pookie etc)….you are littering my fucking news feed and I really am sick of looking at it.
  8. Lesbians adding lesbians and lesbians and lesbians…until they end up with about one million lesbians on their friends list of who they don’t even know, and probably turn out to be creepy old men pretending to be female.
  9. The ‘I don’t give a shit about being single, I’m loving life’ …your fooling no one. I’m just saying.
  10. Professions about how many girls they hooked up with…if you have to say that to everyone all over fb or twitter, it looks kind of desperate…leading us all to the logical conclusion, your lying. You are not a ‘player’ you just do what the rest of us do, go home…alone…have a pizza and go to sleep.
  11. Use of language such as and I quote ‘rubbing fannys’ is gross…like do you actually have any sort of dignity…or respect for yourself?
  12. Lesbians who profess through instagram, twitter, facebook and god knows what else…that they live some kind of Miley Cyrus lifestyle. Breaks my heart to say it…but you don’t. Your not, nor will you ever be…Miley Cyrus.