Should I Tell Her I’m Gay and That I Like Her?

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We aim to get to the heart of your sex and relationship problems, so if you need advice, please contact us.

Q: Should I Tell Her I’m Gay and That I Like Her?

Dear KitschMix,

I’ve had a crush on this girl in one of my classes all semester. We’ve been paired up in our class a few times so we’ve talked a bit, and even exchanged numbers for studying purposes. Since the first time we were paired up I feel like she’s been either flirting with me or being very friendly. l really like this girl. She is very pretty and one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. The thing is I don’t know if she still has a boyfriend and/or if she is straight. Someone advised me to text her and be very straightforward with her. Should I text her? If I do, what should I say that isn’t awkward, or make me come across as creep?

Honestly, reader, if you want to know, the easiest way to know is to ask.

But I’m like you – I’m super conscious of everything I do that could come across as awkward or make me sound like a creep. It’s tough to find the right balance.

In this day and age, most people aren’t offended by a show of interest, even if it’s not reciprocated. Of course, there’s still a risk, but especially among females, it’s usually considered more flattering than creepy. Especially if you’re polite and considerate about how you present your feelings.

Maybe you’re looking for a more “sly” way to do it though, which is something I understand. You could consider texting her about “the girl you like” – without making a big deal about you being gay – and see where that goes. I’m really keen on “dropping hints” and letting them get picked up as they will. But I’m pretty shy, and I don’t really like to draw a huge amount of attention to my sexuality most of the time. (There are definitely some exceptions.)

As shy as I am, though, I do understand that there will always be a “what if” for anything you want that you don’t pursue – and this girl is no different. If you don’t tell her how you feel, you’ll never know if she feels the same way unless she happens to be much more daring than you. I don’t like to wait around on other people, so if I was in your shoes I’d probably just bite the bullet, so to speak.

It’s not easy to open up to someone, especially in a situation where you work and/or attend classes together. There’s this scary though that, if she rejects you, you’ll still have to see her every day – which can definitely be super awkward.

I wish I had some super magical tip for you here, but there isn’t one. If you want to know if she’s into you or just being nice, you’ve got to face your fears and say something – or else you could be waiting around for her to say something (which may never happen).

I wish you the best of luck, and please don’t hesitate to write back to let us know how things turned out – I’m rooting for you!

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