As an unchangeable introvert and overall hermit, finding that special someone has always been hard for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I used to date quite a lot, although all dates shared a common feature: uninterest. It was just another date night, when I met my first and current girlfriend, and oh boy have I learned a ton
about relationships since then!
Although I am no expert in the topic, here is a small list of things I have learned since I first started dating my girlfriend.
1. Easy does it
In all past dates, I was always scrambling to find a common topic to talk about, desperately trying to avoid those few seconds of awkward silence in-between questions. Not with her. We were chatting non-stop for 3 hours, jumping from topic to topic while sharing endless glasses of wine in a dodgy bar. And awkward silence? There are plenty of moments of pure silence, where I just appreciate her company and let the wine sink in.
2. A new found appreciation for sleeping
I love slumber-parties but inevitably always hated going to sleep. Sharing the bed, (sometimes floor or camping mattress), with someone always ended up with me either sweating or shivering. Not with her. Cuddling up next to her and, better yet, waking up next to her, feels exponentially more comfortable than doing so alone. And, even more surprisingly, I went from being unable to nap, to falling asleep in her arms whenever I’ve had a rough day. I am not even joking, I still can’t nap alone.
3. Can we hang out later?
As previously mentioned, I am a natural introvert. If I spend more than a couple hours outside, I am dreaming of my couch and tea pretty much after the first 15 minutes. Not with her. I forgot to come home before a school day.
I. Forgot. To. Come. Home! Now, after a long day of classes and work, all I am dreaming of is my couch, my tea, and her. We mostly watch Harry Potter and SpongeBob, but I honestly couldn’t even begin to think of a better way to spend my free time.
4. Let’s talk about sex
Story time: Before meeting her, I was a virgin. So, the first time we had sex, I was quite clueless and the room was quite dark. Mid-sex, I ended up punching her nose, blood went everywhere and so did my will to live. Terrified and confused as hell, I tried to help the best I could, only to find her hysterically laughing while I got her some frozen peas and tissues. What did I learn? Sex is meant to be fun and sometimes, awkward situations happen!
We just talk/laugh about them and move on, mostly only bringing them back up to mock each other.
5. Balancing friends and a girlfriend is tough
I didn’t expect it to be so hard for me to keep up with school, work, check up on my friends AND date someone all at once. It’s super hard at times, and picking one over the other always ends up feeling horrible. I am still trying my hardest to keep up with everything and everyone, although it only gets harder and harder. Suggestions?
Thank you for making it through this very untypical and way too personal post. What was your first relationship like? Are you still together?