Sex toys are a tricky position for many. Some women swear by them for times when their partner is unavailable to service their needs, some women enjoy them as a regular part of their sexual activity, and some women are dead-set against them in any rights.


There are equally as many stigmas surrounding them – things that would hold some women back from purchasing them simply because of something that other women (or even men) have said.

Let me firmly state my opinion, before delving into the specifics: I don’t think that toys are a necessary part of the sexual experience, but they can be very beneficial for certain types of sexual play.

That being said, there are definitely some types of toys that are more suited for certain people, and others that are simply not reasonable for these people.

Now that we’ve got the opinions out of the way, allow me to help dispel some of the myths that surround the sex toy industry.

Myth #1: Sex toys reduce the intimacy between you and your partner.

This myth is commonly circulated because people feel that using a piece of plastic, glass, rubber, or whatever the toy you decide to use is made of is somehow less “real” than sex using only parts of your body.

However, in lesbian relationships, the use of a strap-on can allow for greater intimacy than what can be achieved without using toys. This is because a strap-on frees up your hands and allows you to caress your partner while giving her pleasure.

While they’re definitely not a right fit for everyone, it can add a new depth (pun definitely intended!) to your sexual relationship and offers a way to explore your options.

Myth #2: The use of a sex toy means your partner is unable to satisfy you on their own.

This is definitely true in some situations, but it’s not mutually exclusive. In many cases, the use of a sex toy can add extra pleasure that your partner might not be able to provide on their own; however, their agreement to use these toys already proves that they choose to satisfy their partner in ways that may otherwise be difficult.

Additionally, sex toys can be used in conjunction with satisfying sexual activities for a change of pace.

Also read: 12 Positions to Step Your Toy Game Up

Myth #3: Toys are only for young people.

This is really a silly myth, if you think about it. The idea that anything is only allowed for a certain age group is ridiculous!

Older women can enjoy the pleasure brought about by toys just as much as younger lesbians, and in fact their advanced age may allow them to consider new opportunities to introduce toys into their sex lives.

Myth #4: If a woman wants to use sex toys, it means she’s not really a lesbian.

This is a myth that was undoubtedly started by straight men, or jaded lesbians who felt inadequate when their partners requested the use of sex toys in the bedroom. It’s important to notice that the desire for penetration is not directly related to your sexuality.

Although bisexual women may feel a certain feeling of fulfillment if their partner uses a sex toy on them, that doesn’t mean that they’re doing it to replace a heterosexual partnership. It’s simply a different experience.

Additionally, there are some toys that aren’t even meant for penetration – so the thought that these are to replace a man is simply unfounded.

If you are new to the idea of toys, it might be helpful to shop around a bit. Be advised that cheaper toys are not exactly a good choice for a new user – generally speaking, these cheaper toys may be made of a cheaper material and can cause a great deal of discomfort. (As someone who once bought a $12 strap-on before investing in a $90 one, trust me on this!)

It might be fun to get your partner involved in this shopping experience, as well. It can be quite a bit of fun to check online for something that interests you. Keep in mind your own personal preferences, and consider the possibility that your first choice might not be right for you.

Bigger is not always better, and just because something has received rave reviews doesn’t mean it’ll be a good pick for you personally. Shop around and consider all your options before deciding on one to purchase, and keep an open mind for the future.


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