How to trust again after being cheated on

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So how do you to trust again after being cheated on? It can be very hurtful when someone you care and trust cheats on you. This is especially true if you never saw it coming. The shock and disappointment you get can be quite traumatizing. How do you learn to trust again after such an ordeal?

Learn from it – Everything has a good and bad side to it. It is how we choose to look at it that differs. Choose to look at your partner’s betrayal as a learning experience. Were you too trusting too fast? Did you open yourself too deep? Were you naïve? Ask constructive questions that will help you in the future.

Be emotional – Let it out. Be angry and even shed some tears.  Keeping it all bottled up in you will only make you feel bitter. Vomit it out by writing your feelings in a letter or a journal. Read the writings when you are ready.

Be patient – Give yourself time to heal. What you have been through has been a shock. You will need some time to heal, regain your focus and balance. Afterwards you can trust again. Do not jump into a new relationship too soon. You are not ready.

Don’t try to understand it – Do not try to rationalize or understand why your partner cheated. They did what they did and you can’t change that. Going over every little detail trying to look for the reason why they cheated is ill advised.

Do not blame yourself – If anyone is to blame, it’s the one who cheated on you. It was not your fault.

Talk to someone – Look for a close friend or family member and share your experience. Be angry, be heartbroken. Talk about how painful it all is and how betrayed you feel. Talking to someone else will ease the bitterness and make the whole episode seem surmountable.

Look forward – You are wiser and more experienced now. You will get over this and the future looks bright. Do not sit and moan for too long. Make plans for the future, look forward to something new, even someone new. It is a new day.

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