Her Secrets Are Tearing Us Apart | We Answer Your Questions

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp
Share on email

We aim to get to the heart of your sex and relationship problems, so if you need advice, please get in touch.

Q: Her Secrets Are Tearing Us Apart

Dear KitschMix,

Six months after I moved in with my girlfriend, I got an anonymous email telling me she has a another girlfriend that live a few streets away. A few days later, a debt collector turned up demanding £600, which I felt obliged to pay. I’ve asked her about it, but she absolutely refuses to open up – telling me its all misunderstanding.

She won’t tell me anything about her past relationships, and expects me to act normal. How am I expected to live like this?

A: Well, reader, the short answer is, “leave her”.

This probably sounds harsh, but think about it. Don’t even think about the e-mail about the other girlfriend; this is just hearsay unless you have proof. Instead, focus on the things you do know – she doesn’t think you’re worthy of the truth.

I have an ex girlfriend that I lived with for a few years, and after awhile I started to notice that things didn’t really add up – and she got defensive any time I asked her to explain. “If you actually loved me, you’d trust me” was the best response I could get.

It turns out, she was cheating on me with multiple people, using drugs, and not paying the bills where we were living – when she moved out, our electricity bill was over $700 past due. She made money, but she wasn’t paying the bills with it! But of course, when we were still together, it was none of my business.

Of course, I hope your situation isn’t as harsh as mine was – but if she refuses to tell you anything and gets defensive when you call her on things, there is a chance that she’s lying to you, and/or being manipulative. Run as fast as you can!

[interaction id=”5613a3c574a791dd4b4e82b7″]


Latest NEWS

Also see

If only the world was as “open-minded” as us… Alas, matters of sexual identity and equal love, often cause so much friction in the rest of the world. Here, find an open dialogue on the issues facing our LGBT community.

Sign up for our newsletter.

Get the best of what’s queer, right to your inbox.


come here often?

drop us a line

or try to find it on our website