Are there lesbian dating rules? Well yes, I think there are.
Lesbian etiquette is baffling at the best of times. You can hardly tell where one relationship ends, and the other begins.
Also, the dating game and lesbian world has changed shape. We live in a digital era where single lesbians are more likely to friend their date on Facebook before they even chat, read their Tumblr blog, and like every picture on Instagram account.
We communicate by text, and become evasive if we’re not interested in a second date.
Some women are old school. And some think shots of tequila equal a romantic night out.
That said, here are dating rules — new and old — you need to know about if you’re going to start dating a lesbian.
1. Who asks who out?
There are no set rules on who should initiate a date. I guess it just takes courage. So pluck up your nerve – if you’re really interested in going out with a girl, just ask. It will never be considered inappropriate. Chances are, she’ll be relieved that you took the reins – especially if she’s been giving off the vibe that she’s as into you as you are into her.
2. Who pays?
It’s an age-old question, and one that causes all of us anxiety at some point. Do I pay? Does she? Or should we offer to split it?
In general, if you’ve initiated the date, offer to pay for it. After all, it was your idea. Sure, she might wave you off and insist on paying for her share. But offering is the right thing to do. And if it was you who were asked out, the least you should do is offer to pay for your half the bill.
3. All it takes is 15 minutes.
That’s right, according to science it takes you 15 minutes to decide if you and your date have chemistry. Worried your next date will bail if she’s not into you? Don’t, because Match.com found only 12% of singles would actually leave before the night was over.
4. Be yourself
Try to relax and be yourself during the date. Be confident in yourself and think about your positive qualities without coming across as conceited. On the other hand, don’t belittle yourself either. You can tell her details about yourself but don’t be overly personal.
5. The first kiss
Every situation is different so it is hard to gauge what proper etiquette may be for the first kiss. If you feel a mutual attraction and chemistry, then a kiss at the end of the first date may happen naturally. Approach it with a sense of humour as first kisses can be awkward and make sure she feels at ease and not disheartened. Do not pressure her to give you a kiss or to do anything physical. Make sure she is comfortable at all times.
6. Her place… Or Yours?
Again, there’s no hard and fast rule about where you might decide to crash for the night, although there are definitely some things to take into consideration. For instance, whose place is more convenient? Whose place is more private? Do you trust her enough to give her your address? Do you trust her enough to go into her home alone?
7. Honesty is (still) the best policy.
If you not interested, then tell her. If you don’t feel chemistry with her once the first date is over, do not leave her questioning. It is appropriate to call the next day and let her know whether or not you would like to go on a second date.
8. Ex Etiquette:
Short answer? No. Meaning, don’t talk about them. Don’t whine about them. Don’t mention how good they were in bed. Don’t mention how much they broke your heart (or worse, how badly you broke their heart). When it comes to ex-girlfriends it’s best to leave them in the past where they belong.
9. A first date is not an audition for marriage.
It’s just a try-out for a second date. No one ever fell in love while analysing every detail of their momentous first meeting.
