I’m one of those people who sees nothing wrong in dredging up the name of ex’s for one simple and obvious reason: THEY’RE EX’S!
There’s a reason I’m not with them and whether they dumped me or I dumped them, it amounts to the same thing: the case is closed.
And if I’m in a committed relationship and I want my girlfriend to really understand me, she needs to hear my crazy stories.
This is my history. This is my rocky path. This is my life.
The mere concept that I shouldn’t mention how crazy this ex was, or how devotedly misguided I was to another ex, is silly.
But again, I’m not pining for them, putting them up on a pedestal, or talking to them four times a day.
I’m sharing a very important part of my past, like talking about the way I was in high school, or my deceased father.
These are the facts; I hope you choose to accept them.
To my girlfriend’s credit, this chatter doesn’t faze her in the least, because she knows it has nothing to do with her.
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And I know, when she gets emotional or vulnerable when sharing the pain of her failed 12-year relationship, that it has nothing to do with ME.
She doesn’t miss her ex. She misses the innocence, happiness and security that she felt when she was in that relationship.
As a result, I do everything I can to make her feel special, including not getting jealous if she talks about the good times she had before that relationship fell apart.
This is all about removing your ego from the equation and looking at the facts in front of you.
So, when your current partner talks about her last love, consider what she is really saying.
Is she talking about her because she wants her back? Or is she saying that she really cared about her, but she was fatally flawed? Because those are two very different things.
While it may not feel good to know that your lady has latent feelings for someone else, as long as you don’t think she’s going to act on them, you should probably get over it.