Your Network, Your Community, Your Mix

7 Little Understood Rules That Lesbians Have In Relationships.

We have our own set of rules in relationships as well, even if most people don’t understand them.
11.57K 3

So many people have preconceptions regarding lesbian relationships and many think that we don’t have rules like hetro couples simply because we are two women. Well, let’s inform the misinformed and tell them the top rules that many of us gals follow when we are in a relationship.

We don’t define by gender

It’s very strange how many people believe that two women in a relationship take on certain gender roles. Just because one of us may dress more feminine doesn’t mean to say we ‘keep house’ or if one of us has an outside job we ‘change lightbulbs and fix the car.’ There are no automatic gender roles and most women do things jointly or do the things they are stronger at. It’s that simple.

Not all lesbian couples are made up of one butch and one femme

This misconception must be the most common. People always tend to believe that one woman must be the ‘man’ in the relationship and the other the ‘woman.’ What a load of rubbish. Although there are couples that define as the butch and femme roles, many do not. Some lesbians do not identify as butch or femme and it’s just as common for two butches or two femmes to be a partnership.

Sex toys do not have to dominate in the bedroom

Yet another silly idea people have. It seems that unless we are using penetration with a sex toy we are not getting pleasure or having real sex. Using sex toys in the bedroom is something only the couple decide between them and one of our rules is to decide between the two of us whether we wish to use sex toys or not. Sex can be great with or without sex toys and many lesbians choose not to use them in the bedroom.

We don’t have to have sex every night

Just because we are two women together it doesn’t mean we have sex every night. Most women have sex because they feel like it and if they don’t feel like it they don’t have sex. Just because this could cause a problem in a heterosexual relationship does not mean we play by those rules and we have sex when we both want it, it’s that simple.

Because we are two women together doesn’t mean to say we are settling down

Why people assume that because two women are in a relationship it means they are going to settle down and be together forever is a bit strange. All relationships take time to make decisions like that and there is no rule stating that because we are together doesn’t mean to say we are making massive commitments until we both feel ready.

Cheating is still cheating

If you are in a relationship with someone the same rules apply as they do with all other couples. Cheating is cheating and unless we are in an open relationship most of us will not be happy of our boo cheats on us. Apparently some people think that if a lesbian cheats with a man that doesn’t count as cheating. Well it does.

Threesomes don’t come as standard

Participating in threesomes is not something many lesbians do. Of course some women might do so, but it’s something that can only be agreed between the couple. It comes down to the idea that women need a man to have sex. Well we are sorry to disappoint the men out there but we have good sex without male participation and we are not usually up for sharing ourselves with another person.

So hopefully the people out there that struggle to understand that lesbians also have rules in their relationships this little list can put them all straight.

Subscribe to KitschMix's newsletter for more stories you don't want to miss.

Since you’re here …

Like many other media organisations, KitschMix is operating in an incredibly challenging financial climate. More people are reading the KitschMix than ever, but our advertising revenues are falling fast. So you can see why we need to ask for your help. KitschMix is an independent website that takes a lot of time, money and hard work to produce, but we do it because we believe women in the LGBTQ community need more positive visibility.

If everyone who reads our articles, who likes them, helps to support them, our future would be much more secure.

Make a contribution



I'm a writer, film maker, producer and a self believer. I live with my girlfriend and two children in Valencia, Spain and I write as I live my life. With passion, honesty and full of fun.


Leave a Reply