When it comes to having better sex, most people turn to new positions or fancier toys. The truth is, people have been having great sex for a lot longer than these more modern additions have been around – so there’s really no need to go overboard with your solutions.
If you’re looking for some scientifically-proven ways to improve your sex life, without any complicated steps, check out the following 7 tips. Try them tonight – you never know what you might be missing!
1. Dim the lights.
In a perfect world, every sexual experience would be surrounded by soft yellow twinkle lights and sensual slow jams. It might sound a bit cheesy, but there’s a reason these things are featured in so many romantic movies: They help calm the nerves and lower your inhibitions, both of which are helpful to having amazing sex. All too often, we try to get intimate under harsh bulbs or complete darkness. Neither of these is flattering, and the added self-consciousness can really put a damper on the mood – even if you don’t realize it’s affecting you!
2. Get clean.
Although many people swear by the effects of human pheromones, and it’s even been speculated that lesbians have their own specific pheromones, there’s no conclusive evidence that says there is a human pheromone responsible for attraction. Until such a pheromone is discovered – and we find a way to harness it – you’re better to wash up before sex, and put on a perfume, cologne, or body spray that your partner likes. Don’t forget to scrub under your fingernails!
3. Give each other sensual massages – with oil.
Not only can the day-to-day stresses of life work against your sexual prowess, there’s also a strong connection between physical contact and oxytocin production. (This would be the same oxytocin that’s produced when you have an orgasm, just so we’re clear.) The combination of stress-reduction and hormone-production, with the sensual feel of slippery massage oils, creates the perfect mindset for amazing, passionate sex.
4. Tell her she looks (and tastes) good.
It’s no surprise that confidence is one of the cornerstones of sexual satisfaction, too – and if your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she’s beautiful, she’s less likely to enjoy sex. For many women – even otherwise confident women – their vagina and vulva is a source of insecurity, because the porn industry glorifies vulvas and labias that all look exactly the same. Remind your girlfriend that hers is the best because it’s all yours, and enjoy the extra boost it gives to her mental orgasm.
5. Eat better foods.
Eating healthier is often a solution to many problems, and your sex life can get some benefits from a better diet, too. Make sure you’re eating plenty of dark green vegetables, brightly-colored fruits, and lean proteins. These will make sure you’re getting all the nutrients you need to stay running for longer, without weighing you down and making you bloated.
6. Slow it down.
There’s a lot to be said about suspense, and doing a sexy strip tease for your partner sure helps to build the suspense. In a perfect sexual situation, both partners would drag on teasing each other until neither could resist, but in the real world, it’s a little difficult – so just focus on slowing down the things you can reasonably slow down, and save your strength for the things that need it.
7. Learn her favorites.
Lastly, you need to remember that every woman is different, and the skills you picked up with your ex might not do anything for your current partner. Find the time to talk to her – preferably when you’re not having sex – to find out the things that she enjoys most. If the receiving partner is enjoying herself more, the giving partner is bound to enjoy herself more, too. (Plus, your partner will appreciate that you care enough to ask ahead of time – it shows you want to be prepared.)