You’re seeing this woman; and you can’t tell if she’s the one or just a waste of your time, aka a Douchebag.
Douchebag - Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confused with douche.
We’re here to help:
1. Your future wife brings out the best in you. A douchebag brings out the crazy, stalker bitch in you.
2. Your future wife values commitment and partnership. A douchebag is just trying to hang out.
3. Your future wife sees your success as her success. A douchebag needs to take you down a notch.
4. Your future wife thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. A douchebag’s eyes keep wandering.
5. Your future wife makes you feel secure. A douchebag makes you want to check her phone.
6. Your future wife priorities your happiness. A douchebag priorities her own happiness.
7. Your future wife enjoys conversation with you. A douchebag just wants you to be quiet.
8. Your future wife makes plans with you in advance. A douchebag always pops up out of nowhere the same day.
9. Your future wife creates a feeling of forward momentum in the relationship. A douchebag wants to keep things exactly as they are.
10. Your future wife makes it clear she’s into you. A douchebag keeps you wondering.
11. Your future wife makes you feel chased. A douchebag is someone you’re always struggling to pin down.
12. Your future wife consistently reaches out to you. A douchebag goes radio silent for days.
13. Your future wife texts you just to check in. A douchebag texts you when she wants something.
14. Your future wife asks about you and your life. A douchebag couldn’t care less.
15. Your future wife is great in real life. A douchebag looks good only on paper, if that.
16. Your future wife treats you like a priority. A douchebag makes you feel like a backup plan.
17. Your future wife does nice little things for you, just because. A douchebag doesn’t.
18. Your future wife wants to show you off to her friends and family. A douchebag hides you from them.
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