Connect
To Top

The Problem With Living In A Hookup Culture That Lacks Sex Education

I’m going to level with you guys really quick: I didn’t really start learning about same-sex sex education until a few years ago. It’s not something that you really hear about too much, even in places where heterosexual sex ed is in the core curriculum at school. This has led to a few generations of women who are seriously uninformed about their risks. Just because I didn’t know how to have safer sex with a woman until I was in my 20s, I had been having sex with women since I was in my teens. My first time with a woman and my first time getting tested were about five years apart. Of course, now I know that’s far too long to go without getting tested – but it wasn’t until I had a scare that I even considered it a possibility.

In places where sex education is a solid part of the curriculum, it’s often lacking, sometimes even criminalized. Abstinence is the only way to be safe, they say. But without knowing all their risk factors in the first place, many teens will do pretty much everything except penetrative sex – after all, if you can’t discuss sex, you’re very well not going to discuss the different types of sex, now are you? But the reality is that, aside from any type of sexual contact, you can get some STDs even through innocuous contact – or by walking in tall grass. I don’t mean to scare you, but it’s important to realize that there are other methods of transmission here.

This is a very big problem in the lesbian community, as many of us grew up thinking that, since they don’t tell you there’s anything to worry about, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, that’s not really the case – you can get STDs from a woman just as easily as you can from a man. Your risk factors will include the different types of sex you have and whether or not you’re using protection reliably, but if it’s not in the school systems… Most people don’t even think of it as a problem. The number of women I’ve spoken to who have never even brought up safer sex with their partners is astounding – and, in some ways, depressing.

Fast forward to now, when many millennials are caught up in this hook-up culture. I know it’s not all of us – I’d say about 50% of my friends do “hook-ups”, and about 50% do “relationships”. While the simple act of promiscuous behavior doesn’t put you more at risk of developing an STD, it does rely on a sense of safer sex that is, quite frankly, lacking. Sure, most of us figure out safer sex as an adult – but what does that leave for those younger than us who are experimenting with their sexual identities and not really sure what they need to do to protect themselves?

I’m not trying to promote the idea of underage sex here, but let’s think about this from a realistic standpoint. A good portion of kids lose their virginity before they turn 18. In fact, it’s a goal to lose your virginity as early as possible sometimes. While there seems to be more pressure for boys to “give it up early”, in the lesbian community, we are especially prone to losing our virginities at a younger age – no matter what that definition may be for you. Maybe it’s all statistics and numbers, but there’s a clear-cut connection with our community and a lack of safer sex practices.

What can we do to fix this problem? The answer is simultaneously simple, and very complicated. It’s as easy as getting lesbian sex education into schools, and stop criminalizing (or sexualizing) women for their sexuality. But, of course, how you’d implement such a strategy is an entirely different story – our society just hasn’t reached that point yet.

One way we can start working toward a brighter future in the world of sex education is by openly talking about it. If you have kids, start the conversation early – and make sure you’ve got your facts right before you start. While it might seem like a horrible idea to start talking to your nine-year-old daughter about protection, chances are, the younger you start, the less uncomfortable she’s going to be with the idea in the future. Of course, the responsibility doesn’t fall entirely on the girls, though – boys should be taught at a younger age, too. (Personally, I got my first sex talk at the age of five, and I’m pretty sure if it had included the possibility of me turning out to be a raging homo, my sexual history would have been a lot different.)

Many times, we can think that our kids aren’t able to understand what we’re telling them, because it’s “too advanced for them”. But, as Einstein once said, “If you can’t explain it to a five-year-old, you really don’t understand it yourself.” There’s a lot of truth in those words – you should know a way to talk to your kids about safer sex without making it awkward. Talking about your health should never be awkward, and it just might come in handy someday.


Leave a Reply

More in Let's Talk About Sex

  • 10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions For An Unforgettably Romantic Night

    Whether you two are in love, like, or lust, Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to have sex that’s as dirty...

    KitschMix.com StaffFebruary 2, 2018
  • What Will Sex Be Like in the Future?

    On one hand, sex has stayed the same since the beginning of time – after all, male and female bodies haven’t...

    J MarieJune 13, 2017
  • People Look For Hookups More In Summer, Study Says

    Fall is for dates at pumpkin patches. In winter, you need someone to cuddle with. Spring is the season of blossoming...

    J MarieJune 9, 2017
  • Should You Do A Sex Detox?

    Sometimes, you have to limit your body in order to free your mind. That’s the rationale behind a new wave of...

    J MarieMay 12, 2017
  • 4 Signs Porn Is Damaging Your Relationship with Your Girlfriend

    “Why do I watch porn? It’s like, sometimes you want to go out to brunch with friends and all drink mimosas...

    J MarieMay 11, 2017
  • Science Says Women Who Fake It During Sex Are More Likely To Be Unfaithful

    According to Dr RM Ellsworth – from the Department of Anthropology, University of Missouri – women who fake an orgasm are...

    KitschMix.com StaffApril 26, 2017
  • Here’s Why An Open Relationship Is Actually Good For You, According to Science

    A lot of people spend their time worrying whether or not their sexual desires and practices fit in with what society...

    KitschMix.com StaffApril 20, 2017
  • What Do Butch Women Like In Bed?

    When you picture a butch woman, who comes to mind? Maybe it’s Poussey or Boo from Orange is the New Black,...

    J MarieApril 19, 2017
  • Science Says This Why Kinky Sex Feels So Good

    So here’s a thing, it turns out that kinky sex you’ve been having with your bea can do a lot more...

    KitschMix.com StaffApril 18, 2017
  • ‘What’s In Your Box?’ Subscription Service Helps Women Have Better Sex

    Vaginas are awesome. But even though vaginas are so awesome, people who have them aren’t taught to be proud of them....

    J MarieApril 12, 2017

A dedicated website for Lesbians, Bi, Trans, and Gay women; offering posts on lesbian lifestyle, LGBTQ news, lesbian film rental, health advice, lesbian dating and more...

Latest News

  • Gillian Anderson: ‘I Could Be Dating A Woman Next Year’

  • Watch: Rachel McAdams, Rachel Weisz Spark Forbidden Passion In ‘Disobedience’

  • Ellen DeGeneres Moved To Tears By Wife Portia De Rossi’s Birthday Gift

  • Coronation Street Actress Discusses Playing Soap’s First Lesbian Muslim Character

  • 10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions For An Unforgettably Romantic Night

Most Shared Posts

  • Science Proves That Homophobia Means You’re (Probably) Gay...
    According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, homophobes are “more lik
    189.7k Shares
  • The Queer Muslim Movement Is Growing...
    In America, Muslims are often depicted as intolerant and bigoted. However, more and more Muslims are
    37.4k Shares
  • 31 Beautiful Lesbian Wedding Photos That Prove Two Brides Are Better T...
    We’re feeling the love here at KitschMix HQ. These stunning photos celebrate the love and joy that
    35k Shares