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6 Signs That You’re Secretly a Hopeless Romantic

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Some of us are just born to be lovers. I’d say that’s a good thing.

There are easily a million different kinds of people in the world. Some prefer sex, some prefer love, some prefer neither – and that’s okay.

I personally have always considered myself a “hopeless romantic with a hard outer shell” – I pretend to have no feelings to keep myself from getting hurt. (Those who really know me, think I’m pretty bad at this, but on the surface I think I do a pretty good job with strangers.)

I know I’m not alone in this, either. I can’t be the only one who pretends to be this insensitive jerk but secretly would do anything to make sure my partner is happy.

There isn’t really any set-in-stone way to figure this out, but chances are, if you think you might be – you probably are.


Sign #1: You don’t watch romantic comedies.

Let me rephrase that: You don’t admit to watching romantic comedies.

You’ll watch them in the privacy of your own bedroom, secluded from the rest of the world – but if your girlfriend wants to go see one, you’ll of course tell her that you’ll watch it “for her”. Secretly, you’ll have teary eyes the whole time.


Sign #2: You keep a detailed relationship journal.

Okay, maybe specifically this one only pertains to me – but there are different ways of journaling, that should be considered.

Do you write sappy poems, but share them with no one? That’s a journal. Do you keep track of your dates, and how you feel about them, on a calendar or in a notebook?

That’s a journal. Do you have a blog full of relationship advice even though you’re single? Well, that’s not exactly a journal, but if you’re in love with the idea of being in a relationship and how to make it perfect – you might be a hopeless romantic.


Sign #3: You feel warm and fuzzy inside when you see a couple in love.

For me, the couple doesn’t have to be a couple of lesbians. Straight people, lesbians, gay men… They’re all adorable when they’re in love.

Of course, I’d never want to be one of those couples who steals the show with PDA – but tasteful PDA is super cute.


Sign #4: You’ve planned your wedding… Alone.

Okay, I think this one requires a bit of a back story. I had been in love with the same girl since I was 16 – in hindsight, a grievous mistake, but that’s another story entirely. In an attempt to get her to stay during one hard break-up, I proposed to her.

She wasn’t actually interested in the wedding, just in the ring – so needless to say, I was doing all the planning myself. Even when we broke up (which happened every few months with her), I continued pinning ideas to my Pinterest wedding board.

I kept it private, of course – who wants to be the loser who’s making plans for a wedding that everyone knows was never actually going to happen?

That being said, once I got with my current girlfriend – I had a lot of ideas already about what I wanted in my wedding. She didn’t know about my pins and my ideas, but she had expressed an interest in asking for my hand in marriage.

Inside I was giddy, but outwardly I gave her some rules.

You can’t ask me until we’ve been together at least a year. And you have to surprise me with the proposal. And it has to be when we’re alone, because if you embarrass me in public I’ll say no.”

I didn’t tell her that I had been looking up rings for awhile – or that I had every intention of saying yes when she asked. She waited, I planned in secret, and then when she asked – everyone else was surprised. But really, I had known it was going to happen for quite some time.


Sign #5: You love playing matchmaker.

If you’re single, you might secretly plan relationships for your friends in your head. You might hook them up, formally, or you might just introduce them casually and hope for the best.

You see qualities in your closest friends that you think would match well together, and you try to make it happen – but you’d never take credit for the union if it happens.

You might even participate in “shipping” with your favorite fandoms. This character and that character belong together – obviously.

They might be characters from TV shows, they might be celebrities, they might be little animal companions – it doesn’t matter, you’ve imagined them in their ideal relationships, even if the characters or celebrities would never reasonably meet.

If you’re in a relationship and you and your partner both have single friends, you start thinking about how you could set them up. You sparkle at the idea of having “couple friends” to do things with, even if you pretend it’ll be a total bore.

Your partner obviously knows that this emotionless facade is a mask, but she lets you pretend you’re just doing it to get your single friend off your back.


Sign #6: You’re actually reading this list right now, and trying to find proof that you aren’t a hopeless romantic after all.

Ladies, I get it. Feelings are hard to deal with, and it’s so much easier to just pretend that we don’t have them. I’ve definitely been there. But the woman you end up falling in love with will be able to see straight through your “IDGAF” mask.

She’ll notice that your eyes light up when she does certain things, even if you pretend you don’t care. She’ll notice when you say you “hate cuddling”, but you pull her closer at night without a second thought.

She’ll notice all these things, and slowly she’ll show you that you don’t have to hide your lovey-dovey side.

I wish all of you the best in finding someone who will put up with your hidden romantic inclinations, and bring out your inner softie – everyone should find that person at least once in their life.

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Author
Barbara is a 26-year-old lesbian living in California with her partner (and their “fur babies” - an adorably chubby puppy named Porkchop and a ball python named Ru). In the spare time she pretends to have, she enjoys horror movies, music of all varieties, reading, and complaining about the weather.

One Comment

  • Maxine Hardy says:

    I found this really interesting to read as i to struggle with showing emotions and affection even with family as i like to think i have a hard exterior, i met my current girl friend two months ago and i have tried to be all cool but protective.
    She says she can see right through me and that i am a big softy, i have never been in love with anyone as much as i am her but still get scared of getting hurt so my barriers are at half mast.

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