Ah, the city of love. Bright lights. Great food. Beautiful people. Eternal love.
Let’s face it, the city of love is wherever you studied abroad.
Studying abroad is a magical time. You get to live for six months in a foreign country, experiencing only the best of what that city has to offer, namely attractive college students and tourist attractions.
It’s normal to fall in love while you’re abroad. Overseas, it feels like you’re going to live this magical new life forever. But then you return home, and reality sets in. It’s not as easy to have a 5,000-mile long-distance relationship as you thought.
So how can you get over someone you thought was your True Love after it doesn’t work?
1. Accept that sometimes love is just for a season. Some people and experiences are meant to come in and out of your life. The memories are precious. Instead of being frustrated that something has to end, appreciate that it happened.
2. Don’t keep trying. If the long distance makes the romance fizzle out after a few months (or hours) of you being back home, accept that. Don’t keep trying to force it.
3. Don’t ghost her. That said, you don’t have to cut her off completely – just because you get on a plane doesn’t mean the person has to become dead to you. Keep up your friendship.
4. Don’t idealize her. Life after study abroad is hard. You return to exams and reality and a Trump Presidency. It’s tempting to look back on your ex-lover and think, “If I could be with them again, I would be as happy as I was when I studied abroad.” That’s not true. They might remind you of the happiness you had abroad, but they can never replicate that happiness, and trying to force a relationship with them won’t send you back in time.
5. Get back in the game. You’re young and beautiful and smart. You should be out meeting other young and beautiful and smart people. Ask out the cute barista with braces and a butterfly tattoo. Download Tinder, Her and Bumble, and swipe right on people way out of your league. Stay in a bar long past closing. Just put yourself out there and have fun!
And if all else fails, buy a plane ticket somewhere else.