There’s something about big age differences in relationships that’s always seen as taboo. When you’re dating someone who’s old enough to be your mother (or maybe even your grandmother), people will often assume that the two of you are related and not romantic partners. But should you worry about what other people think?
If you’re happy in your relationship, no one else should be able to sway your opinion about her. There are benefits and drawbacks specific to the dynamics of a relationship that spans multiple generations. There’s always going to be someone who doesn’t understand, someone who doesn’t approve, and even someone who’s jealous.
If you can work past all these people passing judgment on you, dating an older woman might be right for you. Here are a few reasons why.
Women mature at different rates.
Some women will mature much faster than their peers, and they could be benefitted by having an older partner. Likewise, some women aren’t as mature as their peers – and they could be benefitted by having a younger partner. After all, age is mostly in your head; as long as you have things in common with your partner and you are truly happy with the arrangement you have, the age shouldn’t define your feelings.
Of course, this can be a drawback, as well, as there is always the chance of a mature younger woman being frustrated by the lack of maturity with her relatively-immature older partner. It’s important to realize that maturity and age are not mutually exclusive, and there are no promises in regards to what you’re getting yourself into.
Older women have had more time to get their lives together.
If you’re looking for someone who can take you on wild adventures, it’s likely that an older woman will have found time to find success. While age does not guarantee money (it’s about what you do with your time, after all), older women have had a longer time to save and prepare for the future.
This isn’t to say that you can’t find a successful woman your age, if that’s what you’re after. But older women also have more life experience and can offer valuable advice. As long as she is willing to respect your opinions and not “mother” you, she could be a valuable asset in your life.
Younger women will keep you more youthful.
If you are the older woman in the relationship, there’s a good chance that your younger partner can influence you to keep yourself from “getting old”. If you’re both willing to try new things, or you have similar, “youthful” interests, you can use this to your advantage – and motivate each other to stay young at heart.
Of course, this is under the assumption that you do have shared interests. It can be difficult to work around age differences if you are truly from “different worlds”. If you can’t get along as friends, you won’t get along as partners – although there is still a chance that you could be great lovers.
Older women can challenge you.
For those looking for someone who can challenge their beliefs, their intelligence, and their goals, an older woman is in a perfect position to do that. As we touched on before, an older woman will have more life experience. Although age doesn’t guarantee wisdom, it goes hand-in-hand with experiences.
This can be a problem if your older partner takes it upon herself to correct the things she feels you’re doing “wrong”, though. Your partner should guide you toward making the right decisions, but she should never control your actions. If your partner is doing this – no matter what the age difference may be – she is not the right woman for you.
The “sugar momma” fantasy is a real thing.
While I don’t broadly support the idea of “sugar mommas” and “sugar daddies”, they do exist – and many people are drawn to this idea. If all partners involved are on the same page in terms of the expectations from the relationship, there’s no foul play going on, and no one is being unfair to the other, there’s nothing wrong with it.
I personally feel that relationships should be built on a foundation of love and understanding, and not financial support, but I also feel that you shouldn’t look to someone else to validate your personal life. As long as the relationship exists between consenting adults, no one can tell you that it’s wrong. (At least, not legitimately.)
It’s not as weird as you think.
Many people have at least one partner throughout their life who isn’t in their age range. Some even intentionally seek out this type of partnership for the benefits it can offer. While it probably shouldn’t be your primary consideration, you aren’t alone in your attraction to an older woman.
Sarah Paulson fans may have recently heard about her current May-December romance with Holland Taylor, who is 32 years her senior. While this information has not been directly validated by the couple, it was reported to People Magazine by multiple sources – and certainly they’re not alone.
If you’re doing it just for the “shock value” of dating someone who isn’t your peer, it could be a bad thing, though. Generally speaking, we shouldn’t let society dictate who we love – whether we are going along with their expectations or rebelling against them. You should love your partner for who she is, not for how she makes you look.
No one else has the right to tell you what to do.
Of course there are going to be relationships where one partner allows the other to dictate certain aspects of their relationship. As long as you’re in agreement about it, there’s nothing wrong with it. But when someone who is not involved with your private life tries to determine what you should do with your private life, they are revealing that they are not worthy of your time and respect.
This is a general statement, of course. The opinions of your family and friends may factor into the decisions you make, but you should not be swayed by the opinions of strangers – and generally, these strangers are going to be the ones with the strongest opinions about what you’re doing “wrong”.
Everyone has an opinion, and you are sometimes obligated to listen to these opinions, but that doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to follow advice that you do not agree with. As humans we are responsible for our choices – not for the choices of others. As long as you’re not breaking any laws or putting anyone’s safety at risk, your life is your life.
