Other than a few years as a teenager, I’ve always been someone with a lot of ambition and drive. Remarkably, I usually end up dating women who don’t always have a lot of ambition or drive. I think perhaps that’s because two super-busy people have a hard time making things work out – scheduling conflicts make things pretty difficult.

When my girlfriend and I first got together, I was working two jobs. I ended up quitting the one with more hours because… Well, I hated it. My girlfriend also had surgery around that time, so I wanted to take a little time to take care of her. It wasn’t too long after her recovery that I actually ended up finding a second job again. I do a lot better when I’m busy.

Thankfully, these days I set my own working hours – which is either good or bad, depending on how you look at it. I love it because I can literally make as much money as I set aside time for.  My partner doesn’t really like it, because… Well, I like money more than I like downtime. Like, a lot more. My motto for a while was “I’d rather be busy than bored.”

What can I say? I plan to build an empire, and if I don’t get started now, I’ll never make it on time.

But I know it’s not always hard to date someone who’s always on the hustle – so if you’re struggling to make it work, here are some tips from a pro.

Schedule “couple time”.

It might sound patronizing, but I promise you, it’s not. Putting your relationship explicitly on the schedule will make it so much easier for her to actually set aside the time. If she offers to schedule some time, you should take it as a huge compliment, because she never breaks her schedule.

Schedule sex if you need to, too.

I try not to let it get to this, but sometimes, when we’re busy, we forget to have sex with our partners. It’s not that we don’t want you – it’s that we want to stay in work mode. Remind your girlfriend that it’s been a while, but do not accuse her of making you wait. This is not going to make her want to give you any. I repeat: Do not shame your girlfriend for not giving you sex as regularly as you’d like!!!

Make sure date time is date time.

Don’t let anything distract you from each other when you’re actually on a date. This means if she pulls out her phone to respond to a work e-mail, gently remind her that you’re on a date, and please put her phone away. Remember, the key word here is gently – you’re not trying to start a fight. She could be making money right now, but she’s trying to spend time with you instead. (And make sure you’re not blowing her off for technology, either.)

Communicate openly – but not constantly.

She’s busy, so calling her 20 times a day is probably just going to stress her out, no matter how much she loves you. Check in if you feel the need, or if something came up for you (she’ll understand). An occasional “I love you” or “I’m thinking about you” text can be nice too. Just don’t blow up her phone with small talk – she doesn’t have time for that.

Demonstrate affection, even when you’re apart.

Small surprises can make all the difference in a relationship like this. Even if you don’t get to see each other very often, it doesn’t take a lot to maintain the level of love and care that you need. An e-mail about what you love about her, a little stuffed animal to keep on her desk, just something small to remind her that she’s on your mind even when you’re apart. Trust me – your relationship is thriving in her imagination.

Don’t be afraid to let her know if your needs aren’t being met.

She may just assume that everything’s going fine because you haven’t told her otherwise. It might seem like you’re saving her the trouble, but chances are, she wants to meet your needs – so let her know if that’s not happening. She might have an immediate panic attack that she has to rearrange her schedule, but the fact that she feels she has to means that she really cares about you and wants to make things wrong – she just has a unique way of showing it. Trust me, if she has panic attacks about you, you mean a lot to her.

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