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Love At Second Sight: Why Second Dates Should Be Classed As The ‘Real’ First Dates

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Sometimes, your first impression is the only chance you get. Thankfully, sometimes it’s not.

I’m sure we’ve all been there before – a first date that’s going so horribly. You couldn’t find the shirt you wanted to wear, so you’re in your “back-up” shirt. Or, your car stalled on your way to the restaurant, so you were ten minutes late. Certainly, these things can make a bad impression sometimes.

Luckily, some women are aware that these things happen, and are more forgiving – and they may give you a second date even if you screwed up the first one. This is an amazing opportunity!

First of all, sometimes a first date is just plain bad, and it’s completely out of your control. Maybe you booked a restaurant at a steakhouse, only to discover that your new boo was a vegetarian. Maybe you offered to take her out to a movie, and then there was nothing that you wanted to see (that wasn’t sold out). Hey, these things happen, and you shouldn’t dwell on them!

For your second date, there will be a lot less pressure – which seems counter-intuitive, since you’re likely to do better if there’s less pressure. You’ll already know a bit of background information about each other from the first date, and will therefore be able to pick something more suited to her tastes. These are both incredibly helpful things that are really difficult to achieve for a first date. (The obvious exception here is if you’ve been “dating” for awhile on the internet, and this is just your first time meeting face to face.)

On a second date, you’ll know exactly who you’re looking for, so you won’t accidentally approach someone who sort of  looks like the description you have of this girl (if you’ve never met face to face before).

You might know something small that she likes, and you can bring a little gift. (Make sure you don’t overdo it, though; it can be a bit suffocating if you give gifts that are “too big” too early in the relationship.)

Most likely, in the first date, you’ve already uncovered some topics that could count as shared interests between the two of you, and maybe even some topics that are considered taboo. This is helpful, as it can help give you a framework. Sure, it won’t be a script, exactly, but it’s easier if you have at least something to go on.

Furthermore, just by getting a second date, it’s almost guaranteed that this woman is, in fact, interested in you – something that you can’t always tell by a first date. If you already know she’s into you, you’re less likely to do things that you think will make her like you more, only to find out that she can see right through you. Of course, you should never be lying to your potential dates anyway, but that’s another story altogether.

It’s important that, if you do get a second date, you do everything reasonable in order to appeal to what you’ve learned about her. This will not only show her that you were paying attention to the things that she told you, but it will also let her know that you intend to make her happy in the future. You shouldn’t honor every single request if she has high demands, but you should do enough make sure she feels like a valuable new part of your life. After all, isn’t that the point of dating?



 

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Author
Barbara is a 26-year-old lesbian living in California with her partner (and their “fur babies” - an adorably chubby puppy named Porkchop and a ball python named Ru). In the spare time she pretends to have, she enjoys horror movies, music of all varieties, reading, and complaining about the weather.

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