Tag Archives: lesbian dating

Great First Date Ideas For Your New Lady

You finally asked her out and she said yes! Now all you have to do is arrange the perfect first date. Don’t worry; here are excellent first date ides that will ensure you get a second date.

Go for a walk – yes really!

You don’t have to do something very complex in your first date. Most people think that a first date is all about impressing their new favorite person. Wrong. Take this time to get to know each other better. A walk around town, in the park or to the local attractions is not only delightful but will give you ample time to talk to each other.

Festivals and fairs

If you are lucky enough to have a festival or a fair going on nearby, go for it. Festivals offer a lot of fun, games and activities perfect for a first date.

Museums, exhibitions, aquariums

Strolling through a gallery of paintings with your date is relaxing and makes you seem sophisticated. Aquariums with their weird, slimy and toothy creatures also make for an interesting day out with plenty of topics at your disposal. This can be extended to zoos and amusement parks.

Theatre

Going to the theatre is ideal. First, you have to dress up so you will both be looking your best. The theatre is also a classy first date and unlike a movie it has an intermediary where you can chat and get to know each other better.

Coffee

A coffee date is very comfortable and a guaranteed safe zone, plus you won’t have to worry about the expense and complexity of a four-course meal! Look for a spacious coffee joint with a great view.

One-hour classes

This is a sure winner. Women love women who are creative and think outside the box. There are plenty of one-hour classes available. Be it painting, pottery, drawing or anything else. Just make sure it’s not too complicated and there is a feeling of achievement at the end.

Adventure date

If you are the adventurous type go for rock climbing in an indoor gym or hiking in the nearby fields. If you live near the coast: snorkeling and sea diving are among one of your many options. Confirm with your date first if she’s okay with the activity first, you don’t want to take her deep sea diving and she’s hydrophobic!

Music show

The conversation is of outmost importance. Sometimes though music can balance things out nicely. Don’t go for rock or heavy metal, no. Look for something mellow with lots of dancing. This will be a memorable event.

 

5 Signs Your Girlfriend is Not over Her Ex

It is very painful to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be with someone else. It is a waste of time and not fair to both parties at all. If your partner is not giving 100% to the relationship but is still reliving an old relationship, then your union is not going anywhere.

So, how can you tell if your partner is not over her ex girlfriend and save yourself the heartache that is sure to come down the road?

1. She is distant and confused

You catch her staring into an empty space. Sometimes you get the feeling that something is wrong with her. When you ask her she says nothing or it is something she has to deal with alone. After a few minutes or a bit later she comments about her ex. She is thinking about her, a lot.

2. Excitement

She gets really excited when her name is brought up. If she bumps into her it’s as if she’s a celebrity. She becomes animated. She likes to go to places she used to frequent with her ex. Maybe she is secretly hoping to bump into her again.

3. My ex this, My ex that

She constantly twists conversations to talk about her ex. She enquires from friends about her whereabouts and what she is up to now. It seems like she is being very open and honest about her former relationship when she talks about her to you but no. She still has the hots for her.

4. Facebook

She still has her photos in her account. She regularly comments on her exes updates. You might even see the awkward message from a friend who still think they are a couple asking how the relationship is going.

5. Friends

Her friends do not know who you are, but they know her ex.

What Women Want From Dating: An Interview with DATTCH Founder Robyn Exton

With its innovative features and cool design, the DATTCH app is a phenomenon in the world of lesbian dating. Recently named the Huffington Post’s Entrepreneur of the Week, founder Robyn Exton is expanding the app into the US, Australia and Canada. Tom Sykes asked her about the secret of her success.

Tom Sykes: How and why did you first set up DATTCH?

Robyn Exton: I used to work for a branding consultancy and one of my clients was a dating business. I learned a lot from them about the business. Later on I was in the pub helping a friend sign up to a dating site. It was basically a site for gay men, which had been re-skinned for gay women. It asked questions like “How much body hair do you have?” That may be relevant to a bear or a twink, but not really to a lesbian!

There were fake accounts on this site and you’d get straight guys sending you messages trying to “convert” you or asking for a threesome. So I realised that lesbians had two choices: these re-skinned sites or straight sites where, even though you’d select “interested in women”, you’d still get harassed by straight men. Seeing a gap in the market for a lesbian-specific dating site, I quit my day job and spent 6 months raising the bootstrap funds for a brand new app. It launched in the UK in September 2013.

TS: What features did you build into the app that would distinguish it from the competition?

RE: We architected our app around what women want from dating, which is very different to what men want. We started with a standard engine – the type that all the other dating sites use – and found it didn’t work for females. Our users weren’t messaging each other and the interaction was really poor.

Unlike other sites we don’t show you the user who is nearest to you geographically because girls tend to find that a bit creepy. We discovered that women are really bad at describing themselves as compared to men. On gay male apps we found that men tend to exaggerate characteristics like height, saying they’re 6 foot instead of the truth which might be 5 foot 9. On the other hand, women tend to undersell their body types. They won’t, for example, say they have an athletic body type unless they go to the gym every single day.

We took the emphasis away from writing about yourself and onto using images to describe who you are. DATTCH is a mobile platform and our phones are filled with images of how we spend our time and where we’ve been going out and so on. In many ways our pictures are a far more accurate reflection of the kind of person we are. So our profiles on DATTCH have Instagram built into them so you upload images that show how you spend your time, the food you eat, the sports you play etc. It’s also possible for users to “like” each other’s content.

We also have an interaction game called ‘Would You Rather’ where you get shown the profiles of two girls and you decide which one you’d rather have a conversation with. If it’s a mutual match then DATTCH will let you know. Our ‘Relationship Mode’ allows users to retain membership even after they have found a steady partner. Your profile is updated to say that you’re off the market, even though you can still access the blog and chat with other users

TS: There’s been a lot of bad press about fraud and abuse on dating sites. How does DATTCH safeguard against those threats?

RE: We verify everyone who joins the app, ensuring that they are both female and genuine. We mostly use Facebook to do that as well as Skype and phone calls. Obviously we can’t guarantee that at some point somebody who shouldn’t get through will get through, but so far the system has worked fine.

The downside with our approach is that some people who we’d like to join aren’t able to at the moment. While we are accepting female-identified trans users we are not accepting male-identified trans users, but that could change in the future.

TS: Have you tried it DATTCH yourself?

RE: Yeah!

TS: Was it successful?

RE: I have gone on dates through it, but I’m not now in a relationship as a result. However, I did meet a couple recently that, having met on DATTCH, are now moving in together. They described each other as “soul mates” which was really nice!

TS: So where next for DATTCH?

RE: The Android version has just come out and last Friday we launched in New York. We are then expanding across the US city-by-city before hitting Canada, Australia and then the non-English speaking countries.

 

Keeping it Casual, Then Avoid These First Month Dating Faux Pas

Dating Faux Pas – The first stage in any relationship is the meeting stage where you establish if you have enough chemistry to go on. This may mean a couple of dates to determine whether you are a good fit. Generally this takes about a month. While spending time with your new date is exciting and you should bring out your fun side, there are things you should avoid during the first month.

  1. Spending too much – No matter how much you want to see her. Don’t see her too much. The general rule here is two dates in a week at the most. This shows your new date that your time is precious.
  2. No family members please – Never ask her to meet your family or close friends. Sure she is just so adorable and you want your brother to see just what a beauty you have. One month is too early for family. This also goes for children you might have from a previous relationship. The first month is for showing her how fun and interesting you are. Spend this time alone with her as much as you can. There will be time for your family to meet her later .Use this time to learn more about each other.
  3. Being late – Always be on time for a date. Being late can be taken as a lack of interest in her or worse as irresponsibility. Be prompt in returning her calls and messages.
  4. Stay off the sex – Some people might have different views on this but one month is too early for sex. Waiting till you get to know each other makes everything much more special. It makes you look mature and self-disciplined. Use the first four weeks for creating a basic foundation.
  5. Online stalking – Social media is a useful tool for bringing people together. Avoid the temptation to check out her friends, sizing up supposed competition and commenting on her every post. Don’t flaunt your relationship with ‘I miss you’ posts and expect her to do the same. Do not make a fool of yourself!
  6. Comparison – Avoid comparing your date with your ex. No two humans are the same so don’t expect her to dress and talk like your former partner. After all if your ex was so perfect why are you not still together?

Growing a young relationship calls for patience and control. Never forget to enjoy yourself and give each other lots of space.

Where Else is it Possible to Meet Lesbian other than a Bar?

Believe it or not, but there are a number of places for women to meet other women – you just need to have a little imagination, and to put yourself out there.

Even though the first locations that usually comes to mind when you think about meeting women is a bar or online dating site, there are many more options you could try

Here are a few places to consider to try when seeking new lesbians.

Become a volunteer

In general, volunteering is a great way to meet new, like minded people, no matter your sexual orientation. Also, selflessness is new sexy, and women usually prefer a woman who is compassionate, selfless and kind, over someone who is more selfish. By volunteering, you will also have a lot of fun and actually do some good in the world. Volunteering will put you in direct contact with people who support the causes you do. And don’t forget that June marks LGBT Pride month. Most cities have entire websites dedicated to Pride events and volunteers are always needed.

Political Activism

If you’ve never been politically active, there’s no better time to break out your posters, buttons, and leaflets than right now. With marriage equality advancing across the country and world, it’s easier than ever to attend a rally or march in support of LGBT rights. Gather your supportive friends and design posters with witty phrases that’ll start conversations and introduce yourself to the people around you.

Sports Events

As cliché as it may sound, you will always encounter at least a couple of women who like women on sports teams. Just go to an athletic event and you’ll have plenty of chances to meet lesbians, as there are a lot of women who love sports.

LGBT Groups

Most towns have at least one LGBTQ club, but if you’re finding it hard to discover this place you could trying discovering groups through meetup.com, which has a number of lesbian-related groups to join. Poetry readings at your local café, theater performances, indie concerts, and farmer’s markets are all prime places to meet lesbians.

Local LGBT Bookstore

On place to you’ll definitely meet other lesbians is at your local gay-friendly store. So strike up a conversation. Don’t be afraid to approach someone you like, especially if you meet them there pretty often, just be yourself and go for it. This way, you’ll have nothing to regret later and you might even meet the love of you life.

Do you have any places to meet lesbian and bisexual women to add to the list? Let us know in the comments…

Our Top 10 MUST NOTs When Dating

Our Top 10 MUST NOTs When Dating  – If you truly want to turn me off, then ensure you ignore the following list.

  1. MUST not Play Games

  2. MUST not have really offensive friends

  3. MUST not be addicted to serious drugs

  4. MUST not be obsessed with someone else

  5. MUST not be pushy about your religious views

  6. MUST not boring

  7. MUST not be sexist

  8. MUST not be racist

  9. And ideally, MUST not be a criminal

  10. MUST not be too mushy in bed

 

 

 

 

10 First Date Questions To Help Ease Things Along

First dates can be nerve-wracking event. Sometimes they lead to hot passion; sometimes they’re a damp squid. However, the key to having a great time is relaxed conversation, which can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.

  1. What kinds of things really make you laugh?
  2. What is your favourite movie of all time and why?
  3. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?
  4. What’s your favourite place in the entire world?
  5. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?
  6. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?
  7. What is your favourite way to spend a Saturday?
  8. What were you like as a kid?
  9. Do you or have you had a nickname?
  10. Have you figured out your calling in life?
  11. What do you hate most about first dates?

Always remember…

Listen as much or more than you talk. The best communication happens when even and equal exchanges occur between two people. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Each person gets a turn—and no one hogs the ball.

Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. It’s a slow and safe process. Be overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, and you risk going too fast. Ask too many personal or sensitive questions can put people on the defensive.

Don’t dump. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centredness than true intimacy.

Genuine interest goes a long way. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate. But remember its exciting to be able to get to know another human being. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what they. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.

5 Ways to Scare a Lesbian Away

5 Ways to Scare a Lesbian Away – Don’t mess up a good thing by making dating mistakes. Ladies, act this way and you’ll just scare the lesbians away…

Bad Manners

This is dating rule 101. Besides things like belching, swearing or texting/talking on the phone during your date, ladies are taking note of how you treat others as well.

The self-portrait you present to the world comes into vivid focus in the way you treat people, even those with whom you have only fleeting contact: cab drivers, restaurant servers, department store clerks. If you are disrespectful, you should rethink your approach.

Showing Off

A big ego can be a real lady-killer. The more you brag about how much you make or how many women find you attractive, the less she will be interested. It is pretty easy to see when someone is over-compensating, so don’t try so hard.

It sounds cliché, but just be you. If she likes you, great – if not, then there is someone out there who will.

Ms Serious

It is nerve wracking getting to know someone new, but the more you try to be light-hearted about the whole situation, the better – after all, it’s only a date. Keep in mind that sense of humour ranks as number one in what most women look for in a partner, so if you are too stiff, serious, or negative she will likely be turned off.

Over Texting

Many women seem to believe that they can prove their interest by chasing a woman down – calling, texting, emailing, and following up on each unanswered message with more. Of course, a lady could be flattered by all this attention, but that’s never how it works. Instead, you’ll seem desperate, socially inept, insecure or impatient. Not a flattering picture.

Bringing up Sex Too Soon

Yes, sex is an important part of a healthy relationship and sexual compatibility plays a vital role in building a long-term partnership. That’s all true, and it doesn’t matter. If you mention anything overtly sexual in your first few emails, phone calls, or dates, you’re going to be seen as a person who is fixated on sex.

The first thing she will do is filter out if you’re only interested in SEX. Most women believe that discussions of a sexual nature are best left for when you know each other better and certainly not during an email exchange.

My Top 21 Lesbian Dating MUST Haves

Now this is not a detailed list, but it’s a list that covers all bases. I’m not that choosy, but I do have certain standards, which make up my lesbian dating MUST Haves of 2014. Who knows, 2015 may offer a new list depending how this one goes…

  1. MUST respect themselves and others

  2. MUST prefer women

  3. MUST have a positive goal in life

  4. MUST dresses reasonably well

  5. MUST wash their clothes regularly

  6. And MUST wash themselves regularly

  7. MUST brush their teeth and floss regularly

  8. MUST have some common sense

  9. MUST be kind

  10. MUST have a brain

  11. MUST the means to pay their rent or mortgage

  12. MUST have a moral conscious

  13. MUST practice safe sex

  14. MUST be truthful about their life and their lifestyle

  15. MUST be able to relate to people

  16. MUST be a non-violent person

  17. MUST be culturally educated

  18. MUST be able to take no for an answer

  19. MUST have good taste in music

  20. MUST spontaneous

  21. MUST put up with PMS

 

 

4 Lesbians, 12 Relationships, 1 App = New Lesbian Series SCISSR

The pilot episode of the lesbian web series SCISSR was released the end of April and KitschMix is loving it.

Co Created by Lauren Augarten and Katie Scoones, the synopsis is simple and something we can all (at some point in our life) relate too: Aviva, Corey, Emily and Niamh are four twenty-something lesbians from very different backgrounds.  Aviva (Lauren Augarten) has just come out and is hoping to connect with the other lesbians online, while Corey (Paulina Singer) has just gone through a traumatic breakup and is ready to swear off women altogether and Emily (Kelly Sebastian) is constantly looking for the next best thing. Navigating life and love in Brooklyn is easy for none of them, but when they meet through an iPhone app, the girls realize they have much more in common than they originally thought.

This series is new, but looks promising and full of adventure starts.

I can count on my right hand the television shows in both my country of birth (Australia) and country of residence (US) that are about, or even feature, lesbian women. And those shows (or, lez be honest, one show) that do, have received criticism from the LGBTQ community for not showing enough diversity.

We want to establish a more realistic world, where gay women come in a multitude of colors, shapes and sizes. Where sexuality is simply a part of our characters, it is not their entire personality. 

If there is one thing I know, it’s that living in New York as a twenty-something year old, trying to figure out who you are and how you want to impact the world, is a daily struggle, sexuality aside. For me, it’s made so much easier by the community of people I have around me, egging me on as we tread that path together. With SCISSR, we want to give young lesbian women that community, in a realistic, relatable and entertaining way.  

SCISSR

For more information visit – www.facebook.com/scissrwebseries / www.scissrwebseries.tumblr.com

Image source