Tag Archives: Domestic Abuse

Amber Heard Reaches Out To Domestic Violence Survivors In Powerful Video

Created in partnership with the GirlGaze Project, Amber Heard is reaching out to domestic violence survivors in a new PSA and opens up about her own experience with abuse.

How is this happening to me? I’m strong. I’m smart. I’m not a victim. There’s lot of shame attached. It happens to so many women and when it happens in your home behind closed doors with someone you love it’s not straight forward.”

Heard, finalized her high-profile divorce with actor Johnny Depp in August amid allegations of domestic abuse. After the divorce was finalized, Heard donated the entirety of the $7 million divorce settlement to charity, including half to “the ACLU, with a particular focus to stop violence against women,” she said in a statement at the time.

Heard says in the PSA.

It was pointed out to me that if a stranger did this it wouldn’t be ok. Telling someone safe is the beginning of choosing yourself. I went through it in the public arena and I have a unique opportunity to tell women you’re not alone.”

Heard went on to ask the media to reconsider the way it addresses domestic violence.

It’s about how we deal with it and how we talk about it in the media. We need to take responsibility for how we talk about these things.”

She finishes off the video with a final ditch attempt at persuading victims of domestic violence to speak up.

Speak up. Raise your voice. Your voice is the most powerful thing.”

You can watch the full PSA here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srru_fLNWXo

Amber Heard’s Friend Pens Powerful Essay About The Devastating Impact Her Situation Has On Abused Women Everywhere

 

Artist and activist iO Tillett Wright has just penned a thought provoking piece for Refinery29, about how she had to call the police for a friend who fell victim to domestic abuse.

PAY-Amber-Heard-seen-with-her-friend-iO-Tillett-Wright-back-in-2012

Though the piece contains no names, it is widely believed to be about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

In the piece, Wright includes several references to the media storm regarding their on-going divorce, and Heard’s domestic abuse allegations against her husband.

Wright — a friend to the Depp family and the person cited in court documents as the one who contacted authorities about Depp’s alleged behaviour — wrote that she called for help because her friend “never would.”

PAY-Amber-Heard-and-Johnny-Depp

Wright says she “witnessed first hand the absolutely baffling mental pretzel that an abused person puts themselves into.”

I called 911 because she [Amber] never would. Because every time it happened, her first thought was about protecting him. Because every time it happened, the sweet, loving man we all cared for so much would come back with apologies, profuse, swearing up and down that he understood how bad what he had done was, and swearing never to do it again. We all loved him, but especially, especially her, and she wanted to believe that the behavior wasn’t going to last.

I understood her heartbreak. He had been my friend, too, a person I loved very much. A person I had once referred to as a brother … I knew him to be soft and gentle, with a temper and a dark side, but a golden heart. I didn’t want to believe it either, until I saw the wreckage.”

Amber-Heard

Wright also hit out at critics claiming Amber is lying

The cycle of abuse is perpetuated by every person who asserts that the victim more likely punched themselves rather than addressing the very real evidence of violence in front of them. The culture of victim-blaming is the very thing that protects abusers’ ability to get away with this kind of behavior.

Right now, every battered woman in the world is watching this media circus, internalizing the message that when they come forward for help, when they break the cycle, they will be called a gold digger, a cheater, and be accused of having faked it all for attention.

I’m looking at every journalist, every editor, every person who puts a comment on an article pointing an uneducated finger. You are the lynch mob. You are a deafening chorus. Your searching for an explanation for why he would have hit her sends the clear message that there CAN be a reason why someone hits their spouse.”

Wright’s comments echo many who have cited the backlash against Heard, as the reason women are afraid to come forward about abuse.

It doesn’t matter what was said between the two lovers, it doesn’t matter if the romance was coming to an end, because nothing warrants that response. No person, ever, should suffer violence at the hands of the person they love.

That’s why, when it happened again, when I was on the phone with both of them and heard it drop, heard him say, ‘What if I pulled your hair back?’ and her scream for my help, I wondered like so many times before if I should break the code of silence that surrounds celebrities and invite the police into the situation, and in a split second decided that, yes, I was going to.

Because I realized that as long as I was protecting the abuser from consequences, I was enabling the abuse and I could no longer partake. I had to stand up for my friend, and for what I believe in my gut to be the code of conduct by which human beings have to behave with each other.

Whether we loved him or not has nothing to do with it. When it comes to violence, ‘love’ is no longer part of the equation.”

Depp’s legal team have maintained the allegations of domestic abuse are completely false, despite numerous pictures of Amber’s bruised face being made public and after she was grated a temporary domestic abuse restraining order against him.

Only in Florida, Woman Arrested for Hitting Girlfriend in Face With Dildo

Annette Kielhurn has been arrested in Florida for hitting her girlfriend in the face with a dildo.

Kielhurn, 57, was arguing with her girlfriend over who owned a dress at the time, according to St. Petersburg Police Department.

Officers arrived at their home because Kielhurn’s girlfriend called them to stand by while she moved out her belongings, police said.

The officer wrote in his report.

While assisting the victim on a clothing assist, the defendant grabbed the victim with one arm and used the other arm to pull a dress out of her hand that she said was hers. I then specifically told the defendant no to touch the victim and told her to just verbally say what she did not want her partner to take from the house because this is civil. Shortly afterwards the defendant intentionally shoved a “dildo” in the victim’s face and grabbed her right arm while arguing whose it belonged to.”

The cop arrested Kielhurn for domestic battery was booked into jail on the misdemeanour charge.

Annette_Kielhurn-01

She was released from custody after posting $500 bail.

Kielhurn, who has Capaner-Ridley’s first name tattooed on her chest, previously served three years in prison after she was found passed out and drunk in a car that contained 25kg of cocaine – which had a street value of $2.5m.

She was also arrested in June for trespassing.

Why Did WNBA Couple Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson Break Up?

In April, 2013, basketball player Brittney Griner made headlines not just for her phenomenal talent (she was the first overall pick in the 2013 WNBA draft) but because she also came out as gay.

Brittney Griner 07

 

Her announcement was huge given that the WNBA had previously been criticised for the way that it encouraged gay players to be quiet about their sexualities for fears of the league being branded as ‘for lesbians only’. Griner also became the first openly gay athlete to be endorsed by Nike.

The star athlete made headlines again in August 2014 when she announced her engagement to fellow WNBA player Glory Johnson.

The two appeared to be a happy couple and they even appeared on the Atlanta edition of reality TV show Say Yes to the Dress which details the (sometimes extravagant) lengths that couples will go to to put together the perfect wedding.

But things turned sour just weeks before Griner and Johnson were set to marry. Following an altercation between the two at their Arizona home, the two women were arrested for domestic violence, with the police report stating that the violence had been “mutual”.

Brittney and Glory

 

Whether mutual or not, it did result in a debate about same-sex domestic violence, a topic which is rarely spoken about in the media. But this debate was short-lived as the pair proceeded to get married anyway and once more, people began to fawn over their nuptials.

However, just 28 days later, and Griner filed for an annulment of the marriage. Speaking to ESPN, Griner explained that although she did take part in counselling following April’s domestic violence charge, she tried to postpone the wedding several times and that ultimately it was a mistake. She also admitted that she “shouldn’t have went through with it”.

brittney griner interview

But for Johnson, the filing came as a shock as she released a statement saying that she “still loves and cares for Brittney” and that she was “hurt and blindsided” by the announcement. Just days before the annulment was announced, Johnson had revealed that she was pregnant and on Instagram she posted a photo of Griner (apparently lovingly) kissing her stomach.

With so much going on, it’s unclear if the pair will reconcile or if Griner will continue the counselling that she began prior to the wedding. But for readers in a similar situation, Community United Against Violence (CUAV) and the Los Angeles LGBT Center have more information on what to do.

Glory Johnson Addresses Spit from Griner and Her Pregnancy

When reports surfaced that Brittney Griner filed for an annulment a day after Glory Johnson announced she was pregnant and a month after they were married – people were left asking a lot of questions on what happened to this sporting power-couple.

After a week of speculation, Johnson has released an emailed statement, stating that she is still shaken, but moving forward with her life.

I am truly really saddened by the recent turn of events and was not expecting to have our marriage end so abruptly. I am ready to begin focusing on my health, pregnancy and am going to remain in Tulsa to continue to build my relationship with the Tulsa Shock organization, and my teammates. I appreciate the support of my fans, family and loved ones and look forward to returning to the basketball court as soon as I can.”

She went into further detail about the rumours pertaining to whether Griner played a part in her pregnancy or not.

At no stage was Brittney pressured to undertake the fertility process. In fact, throughout the entire process, Brittney was a willing participant, consenting and signing all the necessary documents that needed to be signed in order to move forward with the treatments.

I would like to address the inaccurate statements released surrounding my marriage and pregnancy, so that I can continue, after this statement, to focus on my privacy and allow our lawyers to handle this situation.”

Griner stated last week that she married Johnson under duress. Johnson said the decision to move forward with the wedding was mutual.

In addition, while we may have both had our reservations, we both willfully and joyfully walked down the aisle together and decided to get married.”

Last week, Johnson’s agent, Boris Lelchitski said the Women’s National Basketball Players Association was planning to file a grievance to appeal the suspensions for both players, but Griner backed out. Lelchitski said the deadline has now passed, and his client did not appeal.

Johnson’s suspension will not start until the 2016 season because she will not play this season.

Brittney Griner Breaks Her Silence on Divorce in Interview with ESPN (Video)

The Internet has been buzzing the last 48 hours with a number of questions surrounding the ‘emotional roller-coaster’ of Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson relationship.

Griner has now sat down with a rep from ESPN to discuss the events that took place.

Prior to us getting married, I knew I shouldn’t have went through with it and I talked to Glory about it but sometimes you feel pressured into things. I went along with it and I knew I shouldn’t have and it was a huge mistake.”

As previously reported, Griner, filed for the annulment, claiming her marriage to Johnson is based on “fraud and duress.”

Last Wednesday, Glory and I agreed to either legally separate, get divorced, or annul our marriage. In the week prior to the wedding, I attempted to postpone the wedding several times until I completed counselling, but I still went through with it. I now realize that was a mistake.”

During her interview with ESPN, the star broke down crying before concluding she’s now going to just try to “submerge” herself in basketball.

While we understand that Brittney and Johnson are both grown women and should be held accountable for their actions, we can’t help but feel bad for both parties involved in this mess.

Anyone who says they’ve never gotten caught up in the infatuation phase of a relationship is lying. The best way to deal with situations like the one at hand is to learn from it.

Brittney Griner Files to Have Marriage to Glory Johnson Annulled a Day After Johnson Announces Pregnancy

Brittney Griner has filed papers seeking to annul her 29-day marriage to Glory Johnson.

A statement was released from Griner on Friday

Last Wednesday, Glory and I agreed to either legally separate, get divorced, or annul our marriage. I can confirm that today I filed for an annulment. In the week prior to the wedding, I attempted to postpone the wedding several times until I completed counselling, but I still went through with it. I now realise that was a mistake.”

The news of Griner’s filing comes one day after Johnson announced on Instagram that she is pregnant.

Johnson said in a statement provided by the team.

It has always been a dream of mine to start a family with someone I love. Being a professional athlete that plays year round, there is never a perfect time to get pregnant without putting my career on hold. The entire process, from learning our fertility options, to making sacrifices necessary nine months before the child is born, is merely preparing me to become a great wife and an even better mother.”

Despite Griner’s statement that the couple had discussed a divorce or annulment, Johnson’s agent, D.J. Fisher, said in a statement late Friday that she was unaware of the filing and was “extremely hurt and blindsided” by Griner’s actions.

She loves Brittney and made a huge sacrifice to carry a child, put her career on hold, invest in their relationship and their future.”

The two WNBA stars married May 8, just three weeks after both were arrested in Arizona on domestic violence charges.

brittney-griner-wedding-02

Griner entered a diversion program, agreeing to plead guilty to disorderly conduct and attend 26 weeks of counselling. Once she had completed the program, the charges will be wiped from her record.

Johnson’s case was transferred to a jurisdiction without a diversion program, so her case is still pending. She must either fight the case in court or reach a plea agreement.

Brittney and Glory

The WNBA investigated the altercation — listed by the police as “mutual combat” — and suspended both players seven games.

Has Brittney Griner WNBA Suspensions Prompted us to Address Domestic Abuse in Same-Sex Relationship?

On April 22, WNBA stars Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson were arrested and charged with assault and disorderly conduct after the couple reportedly had a fight in their Phoenix home.

Brittney and Glory

A week later, Griner pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and agreed to participate in a 26-week domestic-violence diversion program.

On May 8, the couple got married, and then, on May 15, each woman received an unprecedented seven-game suspension from the WNBA.

brittney-griner-wedding-01

Though severe, the punishments mirror recent efforts within the NBA to take a zero-tolerance approach to domestic violence.

In many cases, the WNBA’s decision is being lauded. Deborah Larkin, CEO of the Women’s Sports Foundation, an advocacy group for women in sports, has been a WNBA season-ticket holder for the past 15 years and agrees with the league’s response.

When you say there’s zero tolerance and you have a strict punishment, it sends the message to the league, to other sports, to boys and girls and to league owners: We’re serious.”

People are certainly paying attention to Griner and Johnson’s troubles, though this is hardly the exposure they’re looking for.

But Larkin thinks WNBA stand will make fans rally around the league and

[Fans] respect the WNBA for doing the right thing. That’s the kind of people we are and that’s what’s important to us. I’ll back them for that.”

Still, the WNBA doesn’t appear to apply these tough standards equally.

While Larkin supports the strict response to Griner and Johnson’s fight, she has openly criticised the WNBA for allowing Isiah Thomas to become president of the New York Liberty.

In 2007, a jury found in favour of a woman who claimed that Thomas sexually harassed her when he was head coach of the New York Knicks.

That Thomas is now team president and could become a part owner of the Liberty feels unfair.

I would like to see the same standard applied when there’s sexual harassment, and racism. Don’t just stop when there’s domestic violence.”

Though Griner and Johnson are making moves to take responsibility for what happened, Thomas continues to dispute the claims of sexual harassment. For this reason, many continue to object to Thomas’ new role in the league, at the same time they support a second chance for the players.
Lack of awareness and understanding about domestic violence within same-sex couples is another reason institutions should dole out punishments and suspensions with caution.

Until recently, domestic abuse within same-sex couples was largely invisible.

Chai Jindasurat, director of national programming at the New York City Anti-Violence Project voiced…

It takes some pretty detailed assessing to figure out the power dynamics of a relationship. Without a detailed understanding of relationship history and dynamics, in a same-sex relationship it can be hard to tell who’s the survivor and who’s the abuser.”

Counsellors and domestic violence advocates look at relationship history, how financial decisions are made, and the circumstances of the violent episode to determine whether a fight like the one between Griner and Johnson is an abusive situation or the result of an “unhealthy” relationship.

People arrested for domestic violence or abuse often have to go through intervention programs, like the one Griner agreed to take part in.

Jindasurat added

It is detrimental to a survivor to have to go through a program and be told everything’s your fault need to take accountability for it. If the abusive partner is not going through these programs they’re really validated in what they’ve been doing.”

Griner has said that the diversion program “is definitely making me a better person and I’m taking full advantage of it.”

Johnson has yet to respond to the charges against her, but the WNBA is requiring counseling for both women. If the couple can heal and return to the basketball court, will fans stick around to cheer them on?

New Advert For Domestic Abuse Puts ‘The Dress’ Debate To Good Use

Last week the world went crazy over the picture of a dress which some saw as white and gold, while others saw it in blue and black. Picture was shared millions of times online – opening a catalog of debates including gender, race and prejudices.

However, the South African branch of the Salvation Army has but the picture to good use; using #Dressgate to launch a powerful awareness campaign around domestic violence.

The organisation has produced a poster showing an image of a young woman, covered in cuts and bruises.

She’s also wearing ‘that dress’ – albeit the mythical white and gold version.

The message on the advert reads: ‘Why is it so hard to see black and blue?’

A caption adds: ‘The only illusion is if you think it was her choice. One in six women are victims of abuse. Stop abuse against women.’

Using the hashtag #StopAbuseAgainstWomen, the campaign hopes to piggyback off of the enormous virality of the white and gold/ blue and black argument.