It’s not how much money you spend on Valentine’s Day, it’s the thought that counts… right? Right?!! Oh cr*p.
With Valentine’s Day swiftly approaching, it’s time to get a move on when it comes to finding that perfect gift. However, what with the holiday season having just ended, we know that funds can be pretty tight.
No problems, Hannah Hart has got you covered. There’s something for every one and your wallet will thank you!
A new movie from Pillow Talk, and our favourite ladies, Adrianna and Sarah, give some epic dating advice for valentines.
So, sit back with your morning brew and watch them debat being single vs. dating someone on Valentines. Their advice for Kristine Stewart is perfect.
Inappropriate crushes are usually those forbidden fruits we all fantasy about – be it a highschool teacher, your best friends sister, your best friend’s mum (eek)… crushes are crushes. Sometimes they make sense and other times there is no sense in them whatsoever.
But the truth is we all have inappropriate crushes. Well maybe not as many as the ladies of The GW Channel, but we have at sometime or another found ourselves crush over people we shouldn’t.
From Twin dates, to ex-girlfriend interruptions, straight-girl dating, to Ladies with the same-name as you – dating in the lesbian world can be a trick thing.
Brittany Ashley outlines the dilemmas of dating lesbians in this great new sketch. And check out cameos from a whole host of our favourite web-based lesbians – #hashtag‘s Caitlin Bergh & Laura Zak, The Better Half‘s Amy Jackson Lewis & Lindsay Hicks, and even AfterEllen‘s chief editor, Trish Bendix, gets a spot.
For some people, it can be really intimidating to figure out all of the ways to ask another woman out. There are all these same-sex flirting rules and same-sex relationship rules to get your head around.
So we turn to the ladies of The Gay Women Channel for help. Watch the latest Pillow Talk and be inspired to ask a girl out.
We’ve all been there. That messy break up when you don’t really want to break up but the other person does. Or where you both know deep down it’s for the best but, it doesn’t make it any easier.
Why am I not good enough for you? Why am I not right for you? If you’re so right for me, and I’m so happy, how are you not? The question goes over and over in our minds.
It sends us crazy. Like, literally crazy. We sometimes feel like we’re losing control. Our emotions are so up and down from one day or even one hour to the next.
It’s worse when the sex is good. I mean, some people you just connect with. It just works. And when that part of a relationship works so well, it makes it so much harder to let go of everything.
I’ve spoken to a few people recently about social media and how much it controls how we think and upsets our usually good mental health, and the responses are all the same.
We block and unblock each other from Facebook every other week. We make statuses public, so we know the other will see them when they look and you know you’ll get some kind of reaction from it. We hurt ourselves by looking at their online photos, seeing that photo that was taken on a Saturday night out and they look so happy, of course they do. We forget they’re thinking exactly the same thing whilst looking at us. It is SO unhealthy, but we cannot help ourselves. We want to know what the other person is doing.
Long gone are the days you had to call somebody’s landline to ask if they were home. Or if you were so desperate to see someone you’d have to wait outside their house. Although, that kind of behaviour is generally frowned upon!
But so in a huge way, our advanced technology makes breaking up even harder. I mean how much easier would it be to move on if you couldn’t easily see or locate their every movement? Which you do, because it’s human nature to be inquisitive (I’m not talking 24/7, I think if you have got to that stage it’s time to seek some help), but then you see the things you don’t want to see which sends you into this whole new downward spiral of negative thinking.
Whatsapp. Ohhh whoever invented Whatsapp, seriously?! It’s great to be able to see when someone has read your message… but really, you’ve been online 6 times now in the past two hours and you’ve not responded to my message.
You’re online now, and you’re not responding to my message. Who are you talking to? Because it isn’t me. You must be seeing someone else. I mean at this point as we only broke up three days ago so that is obviously the only logical answer…Obviously right?! Ha!
And the more you delve, and the more you question each other, the more erratic and snappy your texts between each other become, the more you come to start to dislike each other, forgetting the very reasons you got together in the first place. The very reasons you loved each other.
It’s frightening just how much imessage, Whatsapp and Facebook can control the way we’re feeling. It’s damaging. Gone are the days you split from someone and go weeks or months without seeing or hearing from them. I mean we had mobile phones and text but, you never could get all you wanted to rant within 160 characters anyway!
You didn’t know where they were, what they were doing, or who they were doing it with. You didn’t have photos of their weekends out rammed down your throat which you know you shouldn’t look at but you do because you’ve not got the self-control not to! And when we didn’t know, our minds couldn’t and didn’t wander into this ridiculous state of paranoia and accusations.
I’ve had my heart broken a few times in my life and equally I’ve broken a few. And each time you do have your heart broken it gets a little harder to move on from. Your barriers get higher and you find it more difficult to trust, but when you do find someone you feel you want to give your all to again, those barriers seem to come down quicker than ever before. Because in the end, whatever we tell ourselves and however we portray ourselves to the rest of the world, we all essentially want the same thing; to find someone to love and to be loved back.
The worst thing though, has to be when you finally see your ex on a dating site. It is absolute confirmation that you are both now over. And you have to relive those feelings from when you split all over again. It’s gutting, simple as.
Social media; it has a lot to answer for.
I had a friend a while back, who was friends with another girl. They’d been friends for a few years.
Now I knew this girl liked my friend, but when I asked my friend about her she’d say “Well I’m not really sure. We get on really well but I don’t really fancy her at all”.
Obviously we spoke a lot more about it than just this, but strangely they are now a couple, and are planning marriage.
I see them doing all the things couples do. Going out for dinners and having dinner parties, spending their weekends doing the typical lesbian things that generally make me cringe (I’m sure I’m just jealous); visiting the farmers market, spending a Friday night at an educational or cultural play at the local lgbt centre. Taking drives out to a nice country pub, discussing work and careers, the list goes on! and I see them doing all these things really well, and being a totally solid unit.
However, what I don’t see is the passion. What I don’t see is how they make the perfect couple in the ways that matter just as much if not more?
And so to me it begs the question, why did they get together in the first place? Through loneliness? Through fear of ending up alone?
We all have those thoughts (I think) when we start heading into our 30’s and we’re still single, plodding along from one failed relationship to the next (yes, I’m talking about myself).
But my point is, surely if you don’t find someone physically attractive, if you don’t find them sexy, hot, beautiful. If you don’t adore every bit of their physicality… I don’t think you can be in love with that person.
Maybe they do have an amazing personality, maybe you can hold conversations for hours on end and maybe you share all the same common interests and love spending every moment possible together. But surely, that’s your best friend? That’s not your lover. That’s not your life partner. That’s your best friend.
Lovers fight, lovers disagree. In my opinion the best relationships are when you have different interests, things that irritate you about the other and things that put the make-up sex on a whole other level. That’s love. Love isn’t real, true, amazing love unless there is passion. If there isn’t passion, it isn’t worth it. Love is volatile, love is equally as frustrating as it is happy. Someone that annoys you so much you can’t help but laugh, and when you see that person all those things that pissed you off just disappear, and you can’t help but smile. That is love. The person you can’t live with, but you can’t live without.
“There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with. Love shouldn’t be one of them”
Jill Robinson
You can grow to love somebody. Can you grow to find someone sexually attractive? I’m not sure you can.
So I joined a popular dating website about two years ago now. I actually met my latest ex-girlfriend through this site. However since recently using it a bit more often, there have been certain things that are starting to irritate me somewhat:
Firstly (and I have been a little guilty of this myself in the past), I do not want to be texting you for a month, talking about meeting up, but never actually doing so.
If you want to meet me, here is my number and let’s go for a drink. As nerve-racking as it sometimes is, it really is that simple.
Secondly, my profile states who I am and the types that I go for; I tend to like women a bit older than myself, but of course this is based on your maturity level not mine.
I have a mild obsession with married straight women. I like feminine women, girly girls, with all the curves in all the right places. If you have read my profile, thank you, but some of you clearly didn’t think it through before deciding to send me that message.
You look like me. I don’t want to date ‘me’.
Which then means you either didn’t read my profile, or you’re suffering from an extreme case of reverse body dysmorphia.
Thirdly, I am always really frustrated by the generic “hi” messages;
“Hi”.
Well “Hi” right back at yah.
This conversation is over. I mean it hasn’t even started and it’s already over. You like me, yet you’re expecting me to start the conversation? Nu-uh. Nope.
Another thing, if someone does not respond to your “Hi”, they’re not being rude, they’re just not interested.
There is no point in engaging in conversation with someone if you’re not interested. It’s called leading someone on or getting someone’s hopes up. So when they don’t respond, please girls have some self-respect because this –
“Hi” (12:34)
“Hiya hun” (15:37)
“Hello?” (15:55)
Let me tell you, it’s not cute. It’s desperate.
Lastly, but probably the most important one for me – do not start a conversation with me by telling me where I work, please. It’s a little bit weird and kind of slightly stalker-ish. Do I tell you where you work? Who your friends are? No, no I do not. “You work in that bar don’t you?” Yes. Yes I do…
Block.
Watch our favourite comedy ladies at the ‘Gay Women Channel‘ give some fantastic dating advice. Giving greats tips on ‘taking here on a date’, the ‘complementing’ schedule (on the hour and every hour), and ‘how do you know if she interested’.
With over 48 million views and 300 thousand combined subscribers, the performing duo known as BriaAndChrissy has quickly become YouTube’s most popular singing lesbian couple. Known for their catchy songs with inspiring lyrics, the two use music and comedy to promote equality.
Watch their latest video ’10 Worst Ways To Break Up’
Dating is one of the most emotionally challenging things a person can do. You meet a nice person, have loads of fun and you allow yourself to think that the long search might be over. And then, nothing happens. She is too busy, too far away, not available or worst of all you are not the one. How do you deal with such disappointment?
Don’t overthink it
Do not try to think why this person did not want to go out with you anymore. Did I do this or that? Maybe if I change this one thing I will be perfect. No, these kind of questions will get you nowhere. The point of dating is to find someone who will love you just the way you are.
Don’t take it personally
Take the dating game as a sales person takes a sale. Realize that every ‘no’ means that you are one step closer to a ‘yes’. Take what you learn from each date and use it to better your game ready for the next one.
Love Yourself
At the end of the day you are trying to find someone to share your love with. This is not going to happen if you don’t take care of yourself. Sure, you are not perfect and there are some things maybe you could have done differently in the date but you’re only human. Learn to forgive yourself fast. Then indulge in the healthy activities you enjoy with the people who love you just the way you are.
Be Patient
A fisherman throws his pole into the water many times. Sometimes he has to wade through what he catches and throw some back but eventually with enough patience he gets his catch. Bring the same patience and mentality to your dating. Do not look at dates as failures but as a means to an end with your one and only being just another pole throw away.
You are in a conversation with a great person you just met. Everything is going splendidly until suddenly, you run out of something to say. You briefly smile and look away. She says nothing, you say nothing. Awkward! Just how do you avoid these awkward silences in the future?
1. Be prepared
Before going out or meeting that special someone prepare. Research, ask around, and get lots of stories and topics to talk about. If you have an arsenal full of tasty rib cracking conversations you won’t stall. Whenever you hit a dead end there will be five more paths to choose from.
2. Safe statements
Learn your safe statements. When you hit an awkward silence talk about the food, weather or the stories around town. Practicing this will give you time to think of something more concrete to say next.
3. Attentive listening
People love to talk about themselves. You can keep your date talking about herself for quite a long time just by listening and asking the right questions. Avoid boring questions that make your date sound like a job interview.
4. Activity
If despite all your efforts the awkward silence is still there. Suggest an event. Go for a walk, dance or whatever activity your situation allows. Find something to diffuse the tension. Make sure it’s something you can do together.
5. Enjoy the silence
A philosopher once said ‘our ability to enjoy silence can say more than any words we can find to fill that silence’. Whether we open our mouths and talk or stay silent we are always communicating what we believe about ourselves. If the idea is of awkwardness in your mind then that is what your date is going to read in the conversation. It is our minds that transform what was simply a moment of silence into an awkward moment of silence. Step in and enjoy the moment. Do not look at your phone or gaze around, simply look at her and relax.
The world of dating is not for the faint hearted. It is a battle to find and woo your princess amidst all the rot and filth. Here are a couple of relationships dilemmas and how to deal with them.
To leave or not to leave a cheating girlfriend
This one is pretty easy to sort out. If it’s the first time and her excuse is believable, give her a second chance. If it’s not the first time, with or without an excuse get out of there. True cheats always repeat the mistake.
In love with two people at the same time
This is a tough one. Get the emotions out of the picture. Judge the two of them using a different scale. Their life choices, education, success, focus in life, looks or whatever is important to you. Pick the one who comes out on top.
To reveal or not to reveal what you like in bed
The fear is that if you reveal what you like she might think you’re a freak. So you bottle it inside. A relationship is a leap of faith. Take it step by step. Find a suitable time to talk about your needs and then worry about the next step. The worst that can happen is for her to say no.
To tell or not to tell about your past
It depends on which stage of the relationship you are in. If you just met or still in the early stages, don’t give her your life history. On the other hand if you’re getting serious the skeletons in your closet should be gently explained to your future partner. There is nothing as bad as keeping secrets as they tend to come out at the most unfortunate time.
Get intimate or not
Getting into bed with someone is a huge commitment. Sure there are one night stands and all sorts of arrangements, but its serious business. The rule is not too fast or too early.
A soul mate is supposed to be that one person you were destined to be with. A partner who is your perfect fit. Is there such a thing?
Just where did this notion come from? It originally originated from ancient mythology. Apparently the gods were mad at humans and split us into two parts. Whoever did not find the other half was doomed to a loveless life. That does not sound very healthy does it? It is easy to disregard this as a childish myth with no basis.
The skeptics point out that if you’re waiting for a person to magically complete you there is a good chance you’ll be waiting for a long time indeed.
Start making connections with the people around you who have the qualities you are looking for. Waiting for someone who feels right is playing with fire. Relationships should not be solely built on feelings. When the butterflies in the stomach are gone and the storms come the union won’t stand the test.
On the other hand there are numerous couples who swear they have found their soul mates. They bonded together so quickly and perfectly it just had to be fate. They didn’t believe in soul mates but now they do. It feels like they have known each other for hundreds of years. It was meant to be. Their relationship is a perfect evidence of this fact.
This is definitely confusing, isn’t it? So is there such a thing as soul mates? Well, it depends on you. If you meet a person and sparks fly and she’s just perfect, you’ve found your soul mate. But if the person you meet isn’t magical yet she has the traits and characteristics you’re looking for, don’t shy away. True love is a combination of feelings, facts, good choices and a splash of magic.
Food for thought…
An informative video by Mary Malia for YourTango.com – 3 Great Dating Tips Every Single Lesbian Should Follow
“Ladies, we’re going to give it to you straight. After coming out, one of the reasons why it’s sometimes hard for us to find love — or jump back into the dating field, for that matter — is because we end up getting in our own way. It makes sense that we’re so caught up in figuring out the protocol for asking a woman that we miss out on a lot of opportunities. It’s okay to be nervous about how to approach that girl that we ran into at the bookstore or on line at the coffee shop; we just have to remember that the only way that anything can happen is if we put ourselves out there. That being said, are there any dating rules that we can follow to make playing the field easier?”
Mary Malia
Dating expert Malia talks about ways to get out of our comfort zone and find love.
“We don’t need “gaydar” to crack the code of whether or not a woman is interested; we just have to get up and ask her! And if she ends up saying that she doesn’t feel the same, we shouldn’t take it so hard. Just brush it off and smile because the more you ask, there’ll come a day when you get to that “Yes”
Mary Malia
This content originally appeared on YourTango.com as: “3 Foolproof Dating Tips Lesbians Should Follow”
There are many reasons why a woman chooses to spend time with you. But, how can you be sure she is interested in you?
Here are sure signs that tell you she is falling you.
Body language – First and foremost be very attentive to her body language. A woman who is interested in you will glow and joy will ooze from her when you are around. She will smile and do that thing with her hair. No sensitive man can miss that, because it is so strong. Watch out for giggles, blushes and that trance like expression that tell she is falling for you.
Communication – She communicates with you more. She wants to talk to you about her past relationships, vision, activities and even her fears. She talks about personal stuff that she would otherwise not share with others. Communication to her is her time to connect with you.
Initiating conversation – If she is always initiating a conversation with you. Women rarely do this unlike they really like a guy who is not getting the hint!
Flaunting her assets – She sways her hips when she is walking away or towards you, she makes sure to draw really close to you so you can see her pretty cleavage. If a woman is falling or you she will want to show you that she is truly beautiful and physically appealing.
Friends and family – If she is into you she will introduce you to her friends and family. This shows that she is serious about you and wants you to be part of her life.
Questions – She wants to know everything about you. What do you do? Where you were born? What is your favorite TV show? She is definitely falling for you
Jealous – She acts funny when you are around other females she thinks you might be interested in. she is not green with envy but she doesn’t want another woman stealing what she already has eyes on.
She is suspicious of everything you say and do, and constantly accuse you of violating her trust. BUT guess who’s going through your phone and hacking into your email?
She treats you less like a partner and more like a possession. As in, she doesn’t care too much about who you are per-se, but who you are for/with/in relation to her.
You suspect she likes hearing the sound of her own voice more than she like hearing yours.
She disrespectful to your family. To your face. And she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
She doesn’t need any personal space, and get upset/suspicious/offended when you express the need for it.
She can’t take responsibility for her own emotions, and will always find away to take it out on you even if you had absolutely nothing to do with her bad mood.
She is constantly disapproving and discouraging of your goals and efforts, to the point where you don’t even bother telling her what you want anymore since she’ll cut it down anyway.
She doesn’t respect your time. Right NOW is the opportune moment for that tedious task / modelling project/huge argument, damn it.
She fights dirty. Sure, fighting is a normal part of any relationship, but it’s pretty easy to decipher how someone really feels about you during a fight by the type of insults they hurl.
No matter what you do, there’s always something not good enough, half-assed, or less than about your efforts. You always feel like you have to “prove” yourself and you’re always failing at it.
Lesbian 101 – If you are single and looking for that special person you have probably heard it all. The good and the bad. Here’s a list of the worst dating advice ever. Beware it’s also pretty common advice too.
Play hard to get – Even for ladies this rarely works nowadays. Pretending to be uninterested in a lady will not make her want you more, you will appear snobbish and a total jerk if you are always full of yourself and wait for the ladies to line up for you. You will also be alone.
Just get out there – This is a popular one. Mostly used by your friends and colleagues who are already in a relationship and assume you are just not going out there enough. The problem is, just where is there? The street corner or the bus stop? Please tell them to clarify where “there” is. At least then someone can know what to wear!
Women love bad butches – The advice mostly involves people telling others that they should not be a ‘goody two shoes’. They should toughen up. Sure some women don’t go for the suit and blouse type, but most women love a honest, hardworking women.
Don’t show her you care – This macho advice seeks to protect the idea that as a women showing emotion is wrong. Feelings should be bottled up inside and never let out. Not true my friend. Some feelings are to be shared with your special one, it will make you much closer,
She is out of your league – If she is too beautiful, wealthy or successful then she is out of your league. You don’t have to equal her in everything before you ask her out. This misconceived line explains why so many successful women find it hard to get partners,
Jut be yourself – The people who say this think that if you are just yourself then everything will go well with you. News flash: in the world we are living in you have to keep improving yourself and not stay stagnant. Don’t be just content to stay yourself. Improve yourself every day and you will definitely get the woman of your dreams.
We have all being single at one point in life either by choice or due to circumstances. Everyone can attest that during this period all sorts of remarks and statements are directed towards you by others already in relationships or by people in the same situation as yours.
All the good girls are taken – Don’t even bother looking for one, as you will never find a suitable partner is what this over used line is saying. Mostly heard from other singles that have given up on relationships. It’s a naked lie. The number of women in the world is growing, in fact according to INED females actually out numbering men in many countries. There is no way all these women are straight or rotten apples!
You should get out more – It is true that if you are not going out and meeting new people ‘out there’, finding a partner is next to impossible. The funny thing about this statement is that it is usually uttered by people who are in a relationship that doesn’t involve socializing!
Have you met anyone? – The opening question every single person dreads answering every time he meets up with a friend he has hasn’t seen in a while. It is a high pressure question with the answer being “no” after all meeting someone is big news.
You just need to – Put on a suit, dress younger, get a new haircut, grow your hair out, talk less, talk more, change your car, change your cologne, change your phone, smile more, be a bit serious, know what you want, be spontaneous, make your profile funnier, make your profile less creepy, know what you want and many more others. People are terribly verbal about what they think is wrong with you when it is about dating and relationship.
Mrs. Right is out there somewhere – She sure is but you have to be proactive and put in some effort. Getting a partner requires work and having a good relationship with someone also requires work.
How many people know how to build a lasting lesbian relationship? Where do we learn to do so? In school? At home? Here are some tips compiled on building a great relationship that you can apply to your own situation.
Safe environment for sharing and trust – No name-calling, unpleasant interruptions or threats. This will make it easier for both of you to trust and share your feelings honestly. It is hard to have a great relationship in an emotionally stressing environment.
Keep your word – Whether it is doing the shopping or mowing the lawn, always keep your agreements. All of them. If your partner cannot trust with the small things how will they trust you with being there for them till death do you part?
Ask questions – If your partner gets home late, ask where she’s been. If she no longer wants to take that long walk with you, ask her what is up. Do not make assumptions. Asking questions removes the mystery and gives your soul mate the chance to tell her side of the story. It’s better to ask too many questions than none at all.
Make time for your relationship – A relationship is like a garden, the more time you spend tending and taking care of it the more beautiful and special it becomes. Left alone it withers and turns to an ugly space nobody wants to be in. Tend your relationship by making time for each other.
Appreciation – Express gratitude to your partner for the things she does for you. For the small things like making your toast just the way you like it, for the big things like her awesome parenting skills. Let her know you see and appreciate the things she does.
With all the hustle and bustle of modern life, sometimes it is a bit hard to meet someone right, let alone start a relationship. If you are looking to meet that special someone and don’t have the time or opportunity to do so, online dating is the way to go.
But, just how do you make online dating a success?
Make up your mind – The first step is to make the decision that online dating is what you want. It is not a game. You will be talking to real people whose time, feelings and emotions should not be taken lightly. You should be sure that you are ready to date.
Choose your service/website – There are many online dating services available. Choosing which one to join is a matter of lifestyle and personality. Do your research as some sites are popular to certain groups of people.
Set up your account – You should give this important task at least five hours. Fill up the provided form as accurately as possible. Upload a recent picture of yourself. Resist the temptation of uploading your old pictures when your head was still full hair. Be as honest as possible
Don’t copy paste your messages – There are many beautiful ladies available online. The ideal method of contacting them is via messages. Introduce yourself and gauge their reply. Keep it simple and interesting. Proof read your mail before sending. Making a potential partner laugh is always a good thing. Be a gentleman and respond to messages promptly. If a date is writing to you she is also writing to others. Be creative.
Meeting up – If someone strikes your fancy after the introduction, suggest a meeting for coffee or a cup of tea to see if you really like each other. Don’t email each other for months without meeting. The longer you wait to meet the harder it becomes.
Finding a partner should be treated like a job. It requires dedication, diligence and patience. All the best in finding an online date and remember to have fun.
What makes the perfect girlfriend? No human being is perfect, so they say. Is there anything like the perfect girlfriend? If she is all of the following she just might be!
Independent – She has a healthy relationship with herself. She is happy and fulfilled in her own life. She does not need babysitting unless she is unwell once in a while. She does not suffocate you by coming after you all the time.
Calm and composed – She doesn’t easily get mad or jump to conclusions. Unless you have done something to deserve it she always gives you the benefit of the doubt. It is not easy to build a great relationship with someone who gets angry easily. Whatever life throws at her she takes it in her stride. Yelling and shouting is just not her thing.
Marathon finisher – She is not here for the short run. When things get ugly and tiresome she is there for you. Encouraging you to be better and realize your full potential. She does not run away when the going gets tough, she sticks it out.
She’s trusting – She does not get jealous easily. When you leave your phone behind you’re sure she won’t go through your messages. You trust her not to hurt you.
Goddess in bed – No way can she be ‘perfect’ if she is not good in bed, period. She looks beautiful always, carries herself confidently like a queen plus she smells and looks great.
Gets along with friends and family – She hangs out with your friends, likes going to your parents and enjoys it! A great girlfriend will be supportive to the people you care about and never tries to make you leave them out of your life.
She makes you better – You don’t exactly know how but she just does. Ever since you met her; your career is better, your relationships have improved and you just feel better and happier!
If your girlfriend is all of the above then you have her, the perfect one. You are the envy of everyone around you. Do not mess it up.
If this was a perfect world relationships would be easy. Two people would meet, date and if everything went according to plan they would commit to each other.
Unfortunately we don’t live in a perfect world and it can be quite confusing knowing exactly in which phase a relationship is in. How do you tell if your once casual relationship is now a serious relationship?
Personal items – If your partner is leaving her stuff in your house and you are okay with it. Then this is a sign that the relationship has taken a turn to the serious side. The more important the items the more serious the relationship is. A sure sign is if you have exchanged keys to each other’s apartments.
Family and friends – If you regularly hang out with her friends and family. They even seem to think that if they tell one of you something it’s like telling both of you. Do you go out with your partner’s friends or family without her being around? You are in a serious relationship.
The four letter word – If you often use “I love you” in your conversations then you’re definitely not in a casual relationship.
Honesty – You each other absolutely everything. You have this urge to describe your day’s events and you don’t leave anything out.
Facebook/twitter – Your relationship status is “in a relationship”. Half of the photos are of the two of you. You are comfortable with everyone knowing about her. You regularly receive friend requests from her friends. You are part of her life, the world knows it.
Likes and dislikes – You start listening to the songs she likes. Those slow love songs don’t sound so awful now. The same case applies to food, restaurants and television shows. You are now enjoying what they like and disliking what they hate. This is inevitable when two people stay together for a long time.
So how do you to trust again after being cheated on? It can be very hurtful when someone you care and trust cheats on you. This is especially true if you never saw it coming. The shock and disappointment you get can be quite traumatizing. How do you learn to trust again after such an ordeal?
Learn from it – Everything has a good and bad side to it. It is how we choose to look at it that differs. Choose to look at your partner’s betrayal as a learning experience. Were you too trusting too fast? Did you open yourself too deep? Were you naïve? Ask constructive questions that will help you in the future.
Be emotional – Let it out. Be angry and even shed some tears. Keeping it all bottled up in you will only make you feel bitter. Vomit it out by writing your feelings in a letter or a journal. Read the writings when you are ready.
Be patient – Give yourself time to heal. What you have been through has been a shock. You will need some time to heal, regain your focus and balance. Afterwards you can trust again. Do not jump into a new relationship too soon. You are not ready.
Don’t try to understand it – Do not try to rationalize or understand why your partner cheated. They did what they did and you can’t change that. Going over every little detail trying to look for the reason why they cheated is ill advised.
Do not blame yourself – If anyone is to blame, it’s the one who cheated on you. It was not your fault.
Talk to someone – Look for a close friend or family member and share your experience. Be angry, be heartbroken. Talk about how painful it all is and how betrayed you feel. Talking to someone else will ease the bitterness and make the whole episode seem surmountable.
Look forward – You are wiser and more experienced now. You will get over this and the future looks bright. Do not sit and moan for too long. Make plans for the future, look forward to something new, even someone new. It is a new day.
You finally asked her out and she said yes! Now all you have to do is arrange the perfect first date. Don’t worry; here are excellent first date ides that will ensure you get a second date.
Go for a walk – yes really!
You don’t have to do something very complex in your first date. Most people think that a first date is all about impressing their new favorite person. Wrong. Take this time to get to know each other better. A walk around town, in the park or to the local attractions is not only delightful but will give you ample time to talk to each other.
Festivals and fairs
If you are lucky enough to have a festival or a fair going on nearby, go for it. Festivals offer a lot of fun, games and activities perfect for a first date.
Museums, exhibitions, aquariums
Strolling through a gallery of paintings with your date is relaxing and makes you seem sophisticated. Aquariums with their weird, slimy and toothy creatures also make for an interesting day out with plenty of topics at your disposal. This can be extended to zoos and amusement parks.
Theatre
Going to the theatre is ideal. First, you have to dress up so you will both be looking your best. The theatre is also a classy first date and unlike a movie it has an intermediary where you can chat and get to know each other better.
Coffee
A coffee date is very comfortable and a guaranteed safe zone, plus you won’t have to worry about the expense and complexity of a four-course meal! Look for a spacious coffee joint with a great view.
One-hour classes
This is a sure winner. Women love women who are creative and think outside the box. There are plenty of one-hour classes available. Be it painting, pottery, drawing or anything else. Just make sure it’s not too complicated and there is a feeling of achievement at the end.
Adventure date
If you are the adventurous type go for rock climbing in an indoor gym or hiking in the nearby fields. If you live near the coast: snorkeling and sea diving are among one of your many options. Confirm with your date first if she’s okay with the activity first, you don’t want to take her deep sea diving and she’s hydrophobic!
Music show
The conversation is of outmost importance. Sometimes though music can balance things out nicely. Don’t go for rock or heavy metal, no. Look for something mellow with lots of dancing. This will be a memorable event.
It is very painful to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be with someone else. It is a waste of time and not fair to both parties at all. If your partner is not giving 100% to the relationship but is still reliving an old relationship, then your union is not going anywhere.
So, how can you tell if your partner is not over her ex girlfriend and save yourself the heartache that is sure to come down the road?
You catch her staring into an empty space. Sometimes you get the feeling that something is wrong with her. When you ask her she says nothing or it is something she has to deal with alone. After a few minutes or a bit later she comments about her ex. She is thinking about her, a lot.
She gets really excited when her name is brought up. If she bumps into her it’s as if she’s a celebrity. She becomes animated. She likes to go to places she used to frequent with her ex. Maybe she is secretly hoping to bump into her again.
She constantly twists conversations to talk about her ex. She enquires from friends about her whereabouts and what she is up to now. It seems like she is being very open and honest about her former relationship when she talks about her to you but no. She still has the hots for her.
She still has her photos in her account. She regularly comments on her exes updates. You might even see the awkward message from a friend who still think they are a couple asking how the relationship is going.
Her friends do not know who you are, but they know her ex.
Do you argue with your partner about the same things all the time? Is your relationship full of the same fights and the same boring schedule? Do you feel that things are not going well? Maybe you are in a relationship rut. How do you get over this and bring some sparkle back to your union?
Admit it – Admitting you are in a rut is the first step. Not accepting that there is something wrong in your relationship is a recipe for failure. Accept and then you can deal with.
Get close – There is the temptation of seeking comfort and companionship outside of the relationship when you are in a rut. This is not the way to go. Get close to your partner and always move towards each other; look to resolve your issues and get back on the saddle. If you move apart this might be taken as an opportunity by other females out there to close in on your territory.
Destroy the pattern – Every relationship rut has its patterns. Identify this patterns and break them. It may not be easy at first but with a strong will you can be able not only to identify them but also deal with them one and for all.
Plan something new – Get out of your daily schedules and plan something wonderful. Whether a trip or simply a long walk together. Get yourself out of the same boring routine and do something fun that will revitalize your relationship. Making fantasy plans is also a great way to get yourself out of a rut. Daydream together about what you are going to do when all your dreams come true. This will bring you much closer.
Schedule alone time – As much as relationships are all about two people, you also need some alone time with yourself. Schedule some time when you can be alone. Read a book, write something or just gaze into the sunset and clear your head. This will put everything into a much clearer perspective.
Relationship ruts are terrible to be in, but what is worse than that is not doing anything about it.
A first date is the beginning of the love fairy tale. There are topics that should not be brought up obviously, the fact that you were constipating last week is one example. There are other less obvious topics to avoid…
I hope you like this place – Be certain and confident. Even if you chose the worst place ever, don’t appear insecure or not sure of yourself. If the place you picked is all that bad, carefully say ‘you get to pick the venue next time’.
You remind me of my mother/ex – Never compare your date with your mother or worse your former girlfriend. She is her own individual self. Tell her how she looks like the beautiful celebrity in the movie you like instead.
I have this condition – Do not talk about serious diseases you might have. This also goes for addictions. Do not talk about your struggles with alcoholism. There will be enough time for that later.
Politics/religion – You believe what you believe and so does your date. Avoid discussing politics or religion during the first date.
You look really nice tonight – Give specific compliments. Don’t be vague. Compliment her on her shoes, dress or intellect. Avoid general clichés. They sound untrue and make you look artificial.
Your place or mine – Slow down! Maybe she’s not that type of a girl. Getting intimate after the first date is not advisable, unless you don’t want a second date.
I need to take this call – During the first date, no interruptions are allowed. That call from your mate will just have to wait. Give her your undivided attention. No calls, texts or mail.
Lock up the creep – Don’t talk about your fetishes, 20 GB porn collection or how you kissed your male cousin in high school. When she is safely lying in your pillow maybe you can reveal how much you like black lingerie.
The first date is a safe zone. Safe topics and fun playful statements. Don’t be too serious. Make her smile and feel good. You won’t go wrong.
Dating Faux Pas – The first stage in any relationship is the meeting stage where you establish if you have enough chemistry to go on. This may mean a couple of dates to determine whether you are a good fit. Generally this takes about a month. While spending time with your new date is exciting and you should bring out your fun side, there are things you should avoid during the first month.
Growing a young relationship calls for patience and control. Never forget to enjoy yourself and give each other lots of space.
Our Top 10 MUST NOTs When Dating – If you truly want to turn me off, then ensure you ignore the following list.
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